By Rob Einaudi

Editor-in-Chief

Entwerfer des Audis over at VWVortex has come up with an excellent alternative to our dependence on foreign oil. I'll let his words and design sketch speak for themselves.

Our addiction to oil has gotten completely out of control, and ethanol and biodiesel require growing things to produce. Hydrogen is good, but we have to use lots of water and energy to produce it, so we should combine it with something else to use it more efficiently. Batteries are nice, but they're very heavy and expensive, and they're not as durable as many of us would like.

My proposal is this: Think about how much raw sewage we waste when it burns so well. Why not power cars with feces? Use a fuel cell to produce water, which can be used to move fecal matter away from the vehicle's occupants and allow it to sit in a U-bend to keep odors out of the interior of the car. The feces are carried to a burn chamber and incinerated, and the heat produced is used to convert water to steam, which is then run through a turbine and used to generate electricity. The energy lost from the steam when travelling through the turbine cools it and returns it to a liquid state, allowing it to be run through the system again. These are the driving ideas behind the Turdbiodiesel!® Hydrogen Sh*t Hybrid†.

†Turdbiodiesel® Hydrogen Sh*t Hybrid is a registered trademark of DoubleNaught, Turbiodiesel!, and Entwerfer des Audis. Note: The seats feature large side bolsters for use in case of constipation. Turdbiodiesel® S will include the standard vehicle, ten 50-lb. sacks of Dipstick County pinto beans, and ten gallons of green chiles.