Gawker

Lee and De Niro Learning ABC's for Showtime [Super Team]

Andrew Belonsky — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:15:48 -0400

Now here's a Big Apple-based show we could love. Spike Lee and Robert De Niro are coming together to bring Showtime a new drama series about the nitty-gritty 80s-version of the once-fearsome Alphabet City. It's called Alphaville. [THR]

Jimmy Carter Won't Back Down [Race]

Andrew Belonsky — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:20:35 -0400

Despite the fact that Democrats and the White House are distancing themselves from him, Jimmy Carter refuses to budge on his assertion that many of Barack Obama's opponents are racists.

The former President was speaking at a town hall meeting at Emory University, and again insisted much of the anti-Obama sentiment comes from "a racist attitude" and went on to hope, perhaps foolishly, that both parties will lead the way in fighting the trend. The crowd then offered a stalled, somewhat uncomfortable applause.

Have Gun, Will Travel Could be Horrific Reality [Bad Ideas]

Andrew Belonsky — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:05:43 -0400

Have the political gods gone crazy? It would appear that way, because the Senate voted to allow Americans, who aren't always the most stable of folk, to carry unloaded and locked guns on Amtrak trains. How can this be good?

Sen. Roger Wicker, the Mississippi Republican who sponsored the bill, boiled the issue down to that pesky Second Amendment:

Americans should not have their Second Amendment rights restricted for any reason, particularly if they choose to travel on America's federally subsidized rail line.

Wicker's reasoning, though rational from a right-wing point of view, seems to contradict his past stance on America's safety, like post-9/11 security moves:

It is no coincidence that our country has not been attacked since 9-11. Our initiatives to protect the homeland and aggressively take the fight to the terrorists have been factors in that success.

One of those initiatives was to ban firearms on Amtrak trains.

Considering the amount of vitriol that has infected town halls, awards shows, tennis matches and even Presidential addresses, the addition of guns to travel plans, which often bring out the worst in people, gives us chills. Luckily, the House will have a chance to shoot down this legislation.

DNA Match May Spur Arrest in Yale Murder Case [Yale Murder]

Andrew Belonsky — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 00:00:57 -0400

There may be bad news for Raymond Clark III. The 24-year old has been a "person of interest" in Annie Le's strangulation death, but now police have reportedly matched DNA that implicates Clark in Le's murder. Good news for justice?

The New Haven Register passes on word that Clark's days of freedom may be numbered:

Police have obtained a DNA match that implicates Raymond Clark III, 24, in the slaying of Yale graduate student Annie Le, police sources said late Wednesday.

Police have obtained, or are in the process of obtaining, an arrest warrant, the sources said.

Clark also failed a polygraph and had scratched on his body, which he blamed on a cat.

NY Fox News Anchor Anastos: "Keep F*cking That Chicken." [Videuoh]

Andrew Belonsky — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:35:39 -0400

When New York news anchors mess up, they mess up big! Remember Sue Simmons and her "What the fuck are you doing here" outburst? Well, Fox 5 anchor Ernie Anastos puts her to shame.

Perhaps overloaded by transitive small talk between the weather report and a commercial break, Anastos — who once said "dot cock" on live television — told meteorologist Nick Gregory that "it takes a tough man to make a tender forecast," and then, to the utter shock and appall of his co-anchor, Dari Alexander continued, "Keep fucking that chicken."

He then upped his creepy factor by drooling over video of Alexander working out, "Hey, look at you. Looking good up there." You can't see her face on that one, but we're sure it was painted with repulsion.

Twitter Officially a Fundraising Juggernaut [Twitter]

Andrew Belonsky — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:31:55 -0400

Twitter's become quite the superstar, and it could only get bigger now that the company may soon wrap a round of funding that will bring its value to the $1 billion mark. Are ads the next step? [Reuters]

R.I.P. Mary Travers, 72 [And Now She's Dead]

Andrew Belonsky — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:54:26 -0400

An anti-war voice has fallen silent, for Mary Travers, a founding member of Peter, Paul and Mary, was felled by cancer today. The singer, whose sullen folksy sound many of you will remember from "Blowin' in the Wind," was 72.

Like so many of her aural generation — for example, Bob Dylan — Travers got her start in the Greenwich Village cafe scene and, like Dylan, too, her politically-charged lyrics helped propel her to international fame. In honor of Travers and her message, here's another one of her and her band's most beloved songs: "Puff, the Magic Dragon."

Feel free to sing along, man.

Does Official Silence on Carter Remark Hurt U.S.? [Race]

Andrew Belonsky — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:42:09 -0400

Yet again the nation's embroiled in a race debate. That's not surprising. There was that black-on-white violence that Drudge enjoyed so much. And then silly Jimmy Carter called "racism" on Obama's health care opponents. The only people not talking race?

The White House.

Despite the fact that race, racism and racists have long flapped in the air of rhetoric surrounding the President, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs had to dance around the media's current Carter obsession by stressing, thrice, that Obama doesn't think people are angry because he's black.

Well, we know that's not true, so aren't Gibbs and the President exasperating the problem by pretending it doesn't exist? Yes, discussing our nation's sad history of slavery and discrimination isn't always comfortable, but considering all the recent discussions, not to mention the flurry of racist Twitters hurled at Kanye West, wouldn't it be nice to have the White House eventually sit down, face the facts, and talk the nation through this whole thing, so that, by some miracle, we can put it behind us?

For, in the space of lack created, there's now more room for people like Glenn Beck to weigh in on the matter. And you can be sure that he's got plenty to say, like aligning Carter's views with those put forth by the nation's greatest enemy: Osama bin Laden.

Meanwhile, Carter remains more isolated than ever, for every Democrat under the sun's backing away from him.

Image via digicla's flickr.

Live Blogging Top Chef , Week 5 [Top Chef]

MisterHippity — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:00:00 -0400

Hey, wanna kill time before tonight's live blog starts? Try rating cheftestant tattoos! Bravo's posted some 50 pics of them, which you can score on a five-star scale (and for once, Ashley's actually winning something!).

And man, is this group ever…inky. But before you go do any tat-rating, finish reading this, OK? I worked hard on it (not really). So we're up to the fifth installment of this weekly web feature, wherein we convene in the comments section below and wax witty about Top Chef: Las Vegas (which starts at 10 p.m. Eastern on Bravo). Last week's shindig was big (900+ comments) and eventful, including the following highlights:

Lizawithazee announced plans to stop into Seattle eatery Branzino—where Ashley works—tonight, as part of her contribution to our series of "live-blogger field reports" on cheftestants' restaurants. So if all went to plan, Liza's dining there at this very moment and will deliver a report by next week (citizen journalism FTW!).
Before Top Chef started, several commenters (including me) checked out this new Glee show and got hooked on it. So I think we'll hold an informal "Glee Pre-Live-Blog Live Blog" during the 9-10 pm period from now on.
Many of us mourned the booting of once-scary Hector, who'd really grown on us lately. Unfortunately, he frightened the judges by ripping his chateaubriand apart with his bare hands, and didn't help matters by explaining that dismembering flesh is really difficult when you're in a hurry. So an alarmed Padma made him pack his knives as Tom called security.
Earlier, lip-ring-bestudded "balls" utterer Jesse suffered an epic snail fail, and was forced—as commenter son of spam put it—to "pack her face and go."
During a commercial break, we were startled by the unexpected return of our beloved Glad-bag guru, Erica (Viceroy of Value, Poobah of Pasta, etc.), whom we'd given up for dead. So we lost a Hector but regained an Erica—not a bad trade all around.

While I failed to predict Erica's return last week, I know I'll have better luck predicting the following events tonight (because I saw them on the preview clips):

The chefs will decamp to the desert to cook for a group of "Las Vegas cowboys." The last time I was in Vegas, the only cowboy I saw was walking around wearing nothing but a hat and assless chaps. So if these "Vegas cowboys" are anything like that one, they should be careful not to stand too close to any cacti.
Padma will dreamily speak of "succulent succulents" before (presumably) wandering off in search of peyote buds.
Former Top Chef Masters contestant (and k.d. lang doppelganger) Tim Love will tell us: "Nobody really messes around with cactuses, because you know what? It hurts!" Cowboys like Tim Love know this, because … well, let's just say that it can get mighty lonely out in the desert.

Ok gang, time to grok Glee and/or grab some grog before the main gala gets going at 10. Oh, and if you want to rate those tats now, go right ahead … and thanks for reading!

Kirstie Alley Conned with Technology for Second Time [Twitterati]

Ryan Tate — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:31:29 -0400

Jessica Simpson loved her probably-eaten dog like a child; Kirstie Alley is spending money buying imaginary things and Wolf Blitzer posted a celebrity photo to his new Twitter account. The Twitterati let their emotions guide them.

Singer Jessica Simpson's missing dog might as well be her actual human baby, the baby she inadvertently fed to coyotes.

Kirstie Alley, the actress and Scientologist, has been hoodwinked into spending exorbitant amounts of money to achieve arbitrary nonsensical goals inside a made-up world created expressly for the purpose of separating people from their money. Go figure.

Mark Glaser, PBS' media critic, didn't know the power of his own tweets.

Diablo Cody craved a long-delayed three way with Ben & Jerry.

CNN's Situation Room has finally been hooked up to Twitter, as Wolf Blitzer joins the microblogging service. Finally, someone has brought a rapid, disjointed discussion of the news cycle to Twitter.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Politico: Leakers, Please Take Your Unauthorized Obama Info Elsewhere [Censorship]

John Cook — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:14:22 -0400

Politico's Ben Smith almost WON THE DAY with nice little scoop—the video of Barack Obama calling Kanye West a "jackass" during pre-interview banter with CNBC's John Harwood. But someone made him take it down. Why in the world?

How strange: Smith posted the video, which shows a smiling Obama surrounded by giggling aides as he makes clear that the remark was intended as off the record, at about 2 p.m. today. But within an hour or so, he took it down with this note by way of explanation:

UPDATE: Not so much: Wiser heads than mine at POLITICO made the call to take down the video of the "jackass" moment. Sorry about the tease if you missed it.

CNN didn't miss it. They grabbed the video and began airing it, complete with the Politico watermark.

Why would the heavies at Politico force Smith to take down a video that everyone wanted to see? Smith's commenters, as well as Business Insider, accused the site of "kissing up" to the White House, but that's unlikely given the fact that Politico's business model is based on enabling the ongoing—and now literal—demonization of the president. It's all very queer. We asked Smith for an explanation, and he responded, "You'd better ask those who made the call." He referred us to Politico's flack.

UPDATE: Smith has forwarded a response from Politico's managing editor, Bill Nichols:

We just felt upon reflection that it was more respectful to a fellow news-gathering operation to take it down. We had no complaints from ABC, CNBC, the White House or anyone else.

Nice to know that an online upstart like Politico has officially joined the Washington good ol' boy culture! And that they willfully acknowledge membership, apparently without realizing that it makes them look like snobbish insiders who would rather be in the good graces of their "fellow newsgathering operations" than publish shit that their audience cares about! Someone should tell their media reporter Michael Calderone, the guy they hired to report (respectfully?) on those fellow newsgathering operations.

While the disappearance of the video may have initially been a mystery, Smith's original take on its significance is not. As per standard Politico positioning, it was bracing blast of narrow-minded and defensive self-justification:

And here's that video, which shows, above all else, the president as a normal person — and moreover, a normal pol, utterly immersed in the cable-news frivolity he affects to disdain.

Affects to disdain? Barack Obama thinks something Kanye West did on TV makes him a jackass, ergo Barack Obama secretly loves everything on every cable channel and his sustained years-long critique of the mouth-breathing cable-news idiocy that Politico trades in is a lie and he really loves Ben Smith and he's just like everybody else and One of Us! One of Us! One of Us!

Why couldn't he take that sentence down, instead?

The Empire Strikes Barack [Pic Of The Day]

Brian Moylan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:09:50 -0400

[Our Nerd President brandishes a lightsaber after a fencing demonstration on the White House lawn today during a photo op to promote Chicago's bid for the 2016 Olympic Games. (Bonus, green-screen-challenge-ready shot after the jump.) Image via Getty]

Mark Penn's Column Now 100% About Mark Penn's Business [Flackery]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:08:44 -0400

Trendy flack Mark Penn promised the WSJ that his evil PR firm would stop using his newspaper column as a tool to troll for PR clients. Instead, he's just writing columns off of surveys by his own polling firm!

His new Microtrend: "Grandparents to the Rescue." Aww! Mark Penn is a cuddly scamp. Tell us, sir, where did you come up with the insightful and potentially profitable insider knowledge that led you to write this eye-opening [Summary: Recession's on, grandparents are working less, babysitting more] journalistic column?

We recently did a poll of grandparents in America, and the state of grandparental devotion in America is strong.

Who is this omniscient 'We?' It's Mark Penn's polling firm, Penn, Schoen & Berland Associates. Usually polling firms have to have PR people make up fake story angles from polls like this and then desperately pitch those angles to bored reporters. But Mark Penn can just write it up in his very own WSJ column!

Your decisionmaking skills are vindicated, WSJ. Carry on.

Nashville, Laugh In Star Henry Gibson Passes On [And Now He's Dead]

Richard Rushfield — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:06:11 -0400

One of the gigantic comic character actors of modern times, Henry Gibson, died today at age 73 after battling cancer.

Gibson was an actor with a credit list as long as your arm, whose work included performing as a Laugh In regular, the role of the Neo-Nazi in The Blues Brothers, the voice of WIlbur in the original Charlotte's Web film, in Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia and most recently a stretch on Boston Legal. He was also a something of an early performance artist, doing a stage routine in which he meekly read off-kilter poetry.

But he is perhaps best known for his role in Robert Altman's classic Nashville in which he played meglomanical country superstar Haven Hamilton. For that part for which Gibson himself wrote the character's songs including We Must Be Doing Something Right To Last 200 Years, shown below set to a montage of patriotic images by someone who clearly did not see the film for which the song was written.

Diane Sawyer — [Quote Of The Day]

Gabriel Snyder — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:05:27 -0400

reacting during a Good Morning America report about whether Barack Obama is overexposed after Jake Tapper suggested the White House "would be happy to deny all of ABC News' interview requests for the president," via TVNewser.

Bitter Breakup Splits Tech's Biggest Boosters [Nerdfight]

Ryan Tate — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:22:44 -0400

It should be a happy day for Mike Arrington and Jason Calacanis. The tech nabobs just wrapped their latest TechCrunch 50 conference, which captivated venture capitalists and the press. But the moguls are locked in Northern California-Southern California civil war.

No one is saying precisely what happened. But Calacanis, a Hollywood internet entrepreneur who tools around in a Tesla Roadster and is buddy-buddy with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, has tweeted that TechCrunch 50, which the men co-host, is over after its third iteration. He also "openly talked about a fight" with Arrington to others at the conference, Paul Boutin reports on VentureBeat.com.

Calacanis seemed to confirm all this to, of all people, a puppet controlled by New York humorist Loren Feldman (see left).

And Arrington, who publishes the influential Silicon Valley blog TechCrunch, isn't quite denying it either. Arrington cautioned in a phone interview that he wasn't familiar with all of Calacanis' public statements today. But he added, "I'm not going to say I didn't have words with him because I have words with people all the time." Besides, he added, things are crazy at the end of a long conference.

He wouldn't get into details, but did point us, in response to questions about the incident, to a blog post he recently wrote called Let's Not Let Silicon Valley Become Just Like Hollywood, in which he argues that the powers-that-be in the Northern California tech scene should avoid becoming as pompous and hierarchical as the folks in Hollywood, i.e. the people Calacanis likes to hang out with. Cryptic. But Arrington wouldn't be much more specific: "I'm not too concerned Jason is telling people he doesnt want to talk to me. I'm sure life will go on without Jason Calacanis and the drama he creates by talking to puppets."

Sure, life will go on, and in the meantime the rest of us have another tech feud to keep us entertained. It's been too long since one of these flared up.

(Speaking of which, we've logged several emails and instant messages to Calacanis and have yet to hear back. If you have any insights into what happened, please email us.)

(Top pic: Calacanis, left, and Arrington in happier days, by Frank Gruber.)

America Is Quite the Foppish Macaroni [Recessionomics]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:11:08 -0400

The Way We Live Now: Making the hard choices. Maserati or Benzo? Expensive Yankees tickets or very expensive Yankees tickets? Hamburger or the whole cow? Macaroni or less macaroni for the same price?

It's good to know that in these hard times, the Wall Street Journal stands prepared to guide you through the troubling questions we all face when money runs tight: "I planned on getting a 2010 Mercedes-Benz E-Class sedan to replace my 2007 BMW 5-Series. Then I was surprised by prices of used Maserati Quattroportes."

The only way that it would be permissible to run this in a national media outlet would be if it was asked by Jimmy Groves, the NYC man who just won $168 million in the Mega Millions, but still eats hamburgers! "I still have to pay my rent, lights and gas," he said as he accepted his fortune. And how! Why can't the Wall Street Journal be more like this lottery winner? Why can't Jimmy Groves buy Yankees tickets for everybody in the whole city? Oh, because even though they are "reducing" prices, the tickets are still "crazy mad expensive."

And in this day and age.

Elsewhere? You don't even want to go elsewhere. Let us "clue you in" concerning what is going on elsewhere. Here's a scenario for you, recession friend: You wander into a nice Romano's Macaroni Grill location, ready to consume a delicious 1630-calorie Dessert Ravioli. What's this? It's been removed from the menu. Fine then, just bring me some macaroni, grilled. Then they bring it to you and you're gobsmacked to find the calories have been cut significantly. Yet they still have the nerve to charge you money for it, as if it were food. I bet the "health nuts" did not add this into their do-gooder calculations: That butter-stuffed macaroni cheese pie was our only food of the day because we're poor.

Stop killing us.
[Pic via]

Rock Rules, Fashion Drools on Perry Farrell's Party Bus [Couture Crash]

Chris Wilson — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:00:17 -0400

Once upon a time the John Varvatos store reeked of rat poison, sweaty skinheads and Iggy Pop's low-hanging balls. But last night, the scent was decidedly sweeter for me, because I totally partied on a tour bus with Perry Farrell.

Yeah, I know that it's been three years since Varvatos transformed the skuzzy CBGB space into a tasteful showcase for his high-end suits, leather jackets, and rocker boots, but last night's "Free the Noise" concert was the first time I had seen live music there since I was a 14-year-old punk at a hardcore matinée headlined by Agnostic Front. The sight of scarily-tattooed L.E.S. tough guys nearly made me poop my Pampers back then, but this time around I'm almost old enough for Depends. Or at least I enjoy wearing them on weekends!

Last night's show was a battle of the bands between three unsigned acts. The winners were local favorites Reckless Sons, who scored a record deal with Island/Def Jam and a Varvatos ad campaign. I heard they were pretty good, but I missed their set because I spent most of the night in a big black bus parked in the alley behind the store. That's where I met the judges of the contest, Jane's Addiction's Perry Farrell, photographer Mick Rock, Spin editor-in-chief Doug Brod, and Varvatos himself, just before they went inside to hear the show.
Perry wore a black vest, silk scarf, slim-fit shirt and pants, and pointy black boots. He sat next to his distractingly buxom wife, Etty, who was encased in a sequined mini-skirt from Top Shop in London, a black American Apparel tank top and YSL pumps.

"Where are you from?" he said.

I'm from Gawker.

"You're from Dockers?" Everyone laughs. "I'm like, 'How does a guy from Dockers get on here?' That's about the only pants in the world I can't wear. I'm wearing Varvatos from head to toe."

Had he seen any shows during Fashion Week?

"We went to one show," he said, already bored. "We saw a lot of sneakers and tall girls."

I asked how they were preparing to judge the bands, and Varvatos made a smoking-a-joint gesture. What are you listening to these days, John?

"Kings of Leon, Bravery, The Killers, My Morning Jacket. There's a brand new band called Alberta Cross, which are unbelievable." Seen any good fashion shows? "No," he said.

Mick Rock, who is best known for his iconic shots of a Ziggy Stardust-era David Bowie, has a model daughter who probably walked in this week's shows. But he was more interested in busting on me than talking fashion. "I wish you were better looking," he said. "I want some young boys for the evening. You're very nice, but I don't find you attractive. It's problematic."

Then everyone got off the bus, including me. I ran into another famous rock photographer, Bob Gruen. What was his favorite shot he took at CBGB? "That's like having a favorite kid. But the Runaways were one of the best shows, in '76." Had he seen any fashion shows? "My wife, Elizabeth, is a designer. But we don't really get involved in the shows. It's not about fashion, it's about commerce."

Nobody I talked to seemed to care about Fashion Week anymore, including me. So I went back on the bus, and met Bobby, a forty-something nightclub promoter. He told me he was really into models. A few tall, pretty girls he had invited began to arrive. Soon, he was showing me pics on his iPhone of himself partying with topless girls in a hotel room. In some of them, his pants were undone, and his junk was exposed. This was starting to get weird.

A few hours later, the fridge full of Heinekens had been drained, and Bobby was handing out shots of Patron. Perry Farrell and his wife returned. Perry looked at all the strange people on the bus, said, "Whoa!" and went to a curtained-off nook in the back.

I started talking to Perry's wife, Etty. "We've been married 7 years," she said. "I've actually danced with Jane's Addiction since 1997, and that's how we met. I was wearing a fishnet body stocking and pasties. They had a two-story high stripper pole. And ultimately, as we got to know each other, I got more clothing. I got a bra, and I thought, 'This is great. I have a bra."

She invited me to come to Rose Bar for a drink with Perry's assorted hangers-on, but I felt like I had already worn out my welcome. Besides, I was as bored of this scene as I was of Fashion Week itself. Before I went across the street for a nightcap at the Bowery Hotel, I asked Perry if he had any parting advice for me. "Never wear a shoe that makes your foot look small," he said.

After all, it is still Fashion Week, right?

Star Trek to Roll out Its Deadliest Weapon: Political Allegory [Getting Schooled]

Brian Moylan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:49:01 -0400

Remember when sci-fi movies were about blowing up aliens and attacking Godzilla? Those days are gone, my friend. Thanks to Battlestar Galactica and District 9, the genre now exists to please the intelligentsia. The latest victim, the Star Trek sequel.

While some attributed the lightness and hope of this summer's successful Star Trek reboot to residual post-Obama good feelings, it was really just a classic genre pic, with zoom around the galaxy, sword fights, explosions and time travel. Not so for the sequel. Re-creator J.J. Abrams, who is writing the script with Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, says their sophomore effort needs a message.

The ambition for a sequel to 'Star Trek' is to make a movie that's worthy of the audience and not just another movie, you know, just a second movie that feels tacked on...There needs to be relevance, yes, and that doesn't mean it should be pretentious. If there are simple truths—truths connected to what we live—that elevates any story—that's true with any story."

Orci echos his sentiments and says that they're looking for the right issue to base the second movie around.

We got a lot of fan response from the first one and a considerable amount of critical response and one of the things we heard was, ‘Make sure the next one deals with modern-day issues.' We're trying to keep it as up-to-date and as reflective of what's going on today as possible. So that's one thing, to make it reflect the things that we are all dealing with today.

Just as Battlestar used a bunch of humans wandering through space to tell a story about the Iraq war and religion and D9 shed a new light on apartheid, racism, and awesome alien space suits, Star Trek now wants in on the contemporary allegory racket. We must say that is pretty rad. We love to blow shit up, but when you blow shit up with purpose, you get the thrill of blowing shit up, but don't have the residual guilt of watching something totally idiotic. The way aliens heads explode when you run over them with a warthog in Halo can be like, a metaphor for the way people's head explode when they are run over by a tank in the Middle East. Or something like that.

There are a few other properties out there that could use some similar intellectual gussying up if their writers ever want to get the time of day at the Soho House. Here some suggestion of how a little well-placed subtext can rescue these shows, and their crews, from their own stupidity:

The Hills:Discussing whether to help Kristen throw her birthday party, Audrina tells Heidi that there isn't room for enough people at the club. They tell her the only solution is for her to to decide who isn't allowed in the club and murder them when the place is overcrowded.
Metaphor: The health care debate and death panel misinformation.

Gossip Girl: Blair finds that putting on her headband makes her feel great and tingly all over. When she wants to buy more headbands, she discovers they are illegal and that the U.S. government is in a long, protracted, and expensive battle to keep headbands out of the country and off the streets. She becomes an advocate to free all the headbands and starts a march that has lots of bongos, puppets, and hacky sacking.
Metaphor: The war on drugs and efforts to legalize marijuana.

Family Guy: Peter's stupid conservative neighbors tell him that their dog Brian was not really born in America, but in Kenya, and they claim to have the kennel papers to prove it. If what they say is true, then Peter must put his dog down and then burn him in the public square while walking counterclockwise around the flames to prevent the spirits of evil from invading the country. He doesn't know who to believe.
Metaphor: The Birther movement.

Man Vs. Wild: While out in the wild, Bear Grylls meets an aimless Sherpa. The two fall madly in love. Bear brings the Sherpa home, but everyone denies their love and won't let them get married. They even go so far as the pass a law that forbids reality show hosts from marrying Tibetans. Everyone is really sad.
Metaphor: The gay marriage debate.

Wheel of Fortune: Every time a contestant wins the jackpot, he is given a trip to Guantanamo Bay! It's such a great vacation that they can't tell anyone what happens there or when they're going to be back. But while they are there, they get to enjoy lots of activities that include water. Now they wish they had picked Z, X, Q, and U for their extra letter, then they never would have guessed the puzzle.
Metaphor: Torture.

Blonde Meets Bottle [Open Caption]

Brian Moylan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:29:33 -0400

[Tinsley Mortimer drives designer Betsy Johnson to drink last night after her fashion show. Image via Getty]

Don't Forget: Bad Big Books Keep Good People in Publishing Employed [Books]

Gabriel Snyder — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:24:29 -0400

Your sneers mean nothing: Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol has already sold 1 million copies.

Now We're All Going to Die on the Subway [Terrorism]

John Cook — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:23:41 -0400

The New York Daily News says the FBI fears a "Madrid-style" subway bombing in New York, and the man reported to be the mastermind will hold a press conference today. For better or worse, this is what we voted for.

It's truly a new world. Remember that weird anti-terrorism raid in Queens on Monday that no one was talking about? Well, the Daily News says it was an attempt to break up an Al Qaeda cell that might be planning an attack on New York City's subways, and that the FBI has dispatched it's "elite hostage rescue squad" here to stage more raids. And the Colorado man whose visit to Queens sparked the whole thing is now back at home near Denver, chatting with reporters in his apartment and talking with his lawyer about holding a press conference to declare his innocence.

Fearful of a Madrid-style subway train bombing, authorities are poised to make more raids to seize bomb-making materials at locations in Queens, sources said Wednesday.

The FBI's elite Hostage Rescue Squad arrived in New York in anticipation of the offensive to thwart a Denver-based terror cell with ties to Al Qaeda, police sources told the Daily News.

The paper says yesterday's actions were precipitated by a visit to Queens from Najibullah Zazi, a Colorado airport shuttle driver of Afghan descent who had been under e-mail and wiretap surveillance and is allegedly suspected of plotting to attack the subway system. Anonymous law enforcement sources told the paper that they found documents on bomb-making in the rental car Zazi used to drive to New York last weekend; the FBI has warned local police departments to be on the lookout for signs of peroxide-based bombs.

So where is Zazi? At home in Denver, giving quotes to reporters at his door:

"No. Of course, I'm not a terrorist," the 25-year-old Afghan national said Tuesday.

[snip]

A bearded and barefoot Zazi, standing in the doorway of his apartment, said he's a hard-working airport shuttle driver who is married and lives with his elderly parents in the Denver suburb.

"I didn't know anything about who was following me," Zazi said of reports he is under surveillance by the FBI.

Asked why he left New York City, where he was raised since moving to Flushing, Queens, as a child, Zazi said, "I left New York because it's hard to live there; the rent is too expensive." We hear you, brother.

We don't know what to make of it. It's just so damn strange when our law enforcement institutions act deliberately, lawfully, and without sowing panic as a political strategy. It's so gratifying to know that the man at the center of a terrorism investigation wasn't immediately hooded, drugged via suppository, and strapped to the floor of a C-130 for a flight to Romania. "Given some of the course that has happened in this country in recent years, he was more worried that he would be swooped into the back of a van and that he wouldn't be able to speak to a lawyer or family," Zazi's attorney told the AP. "I told him our government doesn't have that policy any more."

We have to confess that when we hear "Madrid-style attack" and "New York City subway," we instinctively go to our inner Cheney. But this is what we've been talking about for the past eight years—a reasoned response to terror threats that doesn't throw our laws and Constitution out the window. If the FBI had the goods on Zazi, we presume they would have acted on it. In the meantime, we will get on the F train to go home tonight and hope we know what we've been talking about for all these years.

Iraqi Shoe Throwing Now a Capital Offense [Crime]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:13:49 -0400

Muntader got off easy. US forces killed an Iraqi man today for throwing a shoe at them. AFP headline: "Iraqi 'shoe-thrower' shot dead by US forces." Not that Iraqi shoe thrower, though. Editors. Sheesh. Anyhow, throw shoes and die. [Breitbart]

Conservatives Prove Evilness of ACORN [Crime]

Pareene — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:12:34 -0400

Whoops, Jon Stewart didn't get the liberal media memo about never ever saying anything bad about Democrats. Did you watch those hilarious ACORN tapes? They are proof that everything Michelle Malkin has ever said is true.

<td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'The Audacity of Hos

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As we have covered: one of those stunt-staging Young Republican types went into dozens of ACORN offices across the country dressed in his finest Pimp costume from Ricky's, along with a woman playing his "prostitute." They proceeded to ask ridiculous questions, and in three or four offices, they were provided with suitably ridiculous answers.

So, yes, this decentralized network of low-income community centers is abetting criminal activity, or at least they are telling a 17-year-old-looking white kid in a fur coat to keep his "pimp" money in a tin in the back yard so the government doesn't get it.

That, actually, is what this fuss is about: ACORN is giving out free advice on tax-evasion to poor people! Finding loopholes in the tax code and exploiting them to hide your criminal activity and society-damaging behavior is for rich people, ACORN. That is one of the few remaining benefits of getting rich and now the leeches want to take that away, too!

Now the federal government will never, ever give any money to ACORN again. Sorry, victims of predatory lending, your lobby just got PUNK'D.

'Perez Hilton Loves The Box,' She Said [Request For Information]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:42:34 -0400

We hear Perez Hilton had a fun time at The Box last night. Were you there, taking pictures of him? Send them to us now, if you were. Here is the full sighting we received:

Perez Hilton last night passed out at the box with one leg wrapped around a stripper pole

So any pics you snapped of Perez passed out there would be great. But we'll also accept Photoshop jobs of same. Thanks.

[Pic: Getty]

Arianna's Knight in Khaki Armor [Jobs]

Ryan Tate — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:34:15 -0400

We always found it strange the Huffington Post was unprofitable, what with the Web juggernaut's traffic growth, editorial accomplishments and army of unpaid writers. It turns out HuffPo's investors thought that was weird too. Time for a new ad man.

Though it's garnered $25 million in venture investment, HuffPo in January was making about one fourth the revenue of content competitor Salon.com, valued at just $700,000 by the public markets. This might explain why Eric Hippeau, the investor CEO recently installed to fix HuffPo's finances, has hired former Yahoo ad chief Greg Coleman as president and chief revenue officer, as reported by Kara Swisher of All Things . Coleman shoves aside, then, current Chief Revenue Office James Smith, who has been at HuffPo for nearly three years after stints at AOL and IAC.

We can't say that's a terrible move, given Smith's track record, but it's by no means a given that Coleman can go much further selling HuffPo's notoriously sketchy pageviews. But then he, too, has worked at AOL, known as much for its dodgy accounting and traffic-goosing as for its wholesome oxfords-and-khaki corporate uniform (Coleman remains a fan). So there's some hope.

There Is No Media Platform Which Meghan McCain Does Not Deserve to Dominate [Media Crack]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:30:40 -0400

In your willful Wednesday media column: Meghan McCain is the queen of all media, BusinessWeek's sale grinds on, Lou Dobbs catches a boycott, and you can finally find political opinions, on the internet.

Here's a whole article by the LAT's media critic about how Meghan McCain is the next big media superstar. I mean look, she has the famous name, the Twitter, the opinions about issue things, the TV shows, the internet, the tattoo, the youth, the rebel, and the politics stuff. Downside, she's dumb.

Your daily BusinessWeek update, whether you like it or not: With Wasserstein out of the running, looks like Bloomberg's gonna get it. Stay tuned for more daily BusinessWeek updates!

Now that Glenn Beck has been eradicated from the face of television through ad boycotts, some other non-Republican people are organizing a boycott of Lou Dobbs. Good luck to you haters.

The Atlantic's launched a new site that ranks the top 50 political pundits, making it the Mediaite list of drab political punditry, and equally useful. In a review, David Carr says he "generally gets his fill of opinions from his cab drivers." Well so does Thomas Friedman, and he's #4 on The Atlantic's list, so this site is still useful.

Armageddon Overdue: Tom Delay's Dancing with the Stars season has arrived [Realities]

Richard Rushfield — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:51:14 -0400

There was the hope it was just a bad dream; a dystopian alternate reality gone terribly wrong. Tom Delay on Dancing With the Stars? It can't have come to that already? But it can. And here it is.

In the future, meaning later this afternoon, the state will immediately all criminals and public enemies grant starring roles on prime time television shows. Look forward soon to Charles Manson's season on Top Chef and Bernie Madoff's Rock of Love.

Who Should We Blame for Taylor Momsen's Upskirt Shots? [Jail Bait]

Brian Moylan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:34:34 -0400

A couple of photo agencies posted up-skirt pictures from the set of Gossip Girl showing co-star Taylor Momsen's panties. We've seen worse from Britney and Paris getting out of a limo, so what's the big deal? Oh, she's only 16!

Flynet Pictures is selling pictures like the one above which shows Momsen in a very short skirt and fishnet stockings sitting on the steps of Metropolitan Museum of Art. In others, however, a diligent pervert can glimpse up her skirt to the red panties she wears underneath.

As Gossip Cop pointed out, several gossip websites are running the pictures, including Hot Celebs Home, Hot Online News, IGossip, and So So Juicy. CelebGossipz (with a Z!), the site that Gossip Cop mentions, has taken the photos down.

So, we're just going to say it. Looking at a 16 year-old's panties is fucked up. Who to blame?

The Wardrobe Department: We know fashion is a big part of the show, and Momsen's character's life, but didn't anyone figure out the equation of Short Skirt + Sitting on Stairs = Panty Flashing? Isn't it their job to think about these things? Now they made an easy target for...
The Paparazzi: This is an easy one. They shouldn't be taking pictures of little girls' underwear. But they do cause they can get big money from...
The Photo Agencies: They shouldn't be buying or selling these. There's nothing illegal about them, but they are just really in poor taste. However, there's a buck to be made thanks to...
Gossip Websites: Yeah, we ran pictures of what may or may not have been Jennifer Aniston's lady flower, but she is a grown woman with a flower in full bloom. We can be plenty tacky, but there are just some things that are over the line. However, these pictures will do heavy traffic, thanks to...
All of Us: We know that you clicked on the links above. You're perverts. But so are we, cause we did exactly the same thing when we saw the item on Gossip Cop. It's hard to fight human curiosity. Then we felt bad about looking. Then we had to blame people and drum up some outrage, which will only lead to more curiosity, which will lead to more people clicking on the links. Now we're all trapped in a shame spiral.

How New York Magazine Finds Out What's Happening in Queens [How Things Work]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:30:06 -0400

New York magazine has a new story about a Nepali woman who came to visit her daughter in Woodside, Queens and got lost, wandering alone for more than two days. How's schmancy New York mag track down these outer-borough oddities?

The 53-year-old Krishna had come here, to Woodside, Queens, to visit her daughter Anu, whom she hadn't seen since Anu moved to the States twelve years ago.

"Anu" is the nanny for New York food critic Adam Platt. That's how. Haha. Michael Idov, who wrote the story (which is worth reading!) offers us this explanation for leaving out that fact:

Thing is, it doesn't create a conflict of interest. It would just jar the reader out of the story for no reason. Plus, I usually get all leads directly from my butler, Firs.

Similarly, we only learn about Manhattan via our rich uncle, Nick Denton.

AOL's CEO Calls for 'Laser Focus,' Fires People [Internal Memos]

Ryan Tate — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:04:47 -0400

Tim Armstrong has begun to shape AOL to his liking, four months after Time Warner announced the much-diminished internet conglomerate's spinoff. Here's the internal memo in which the CEO calls some serious buckling down — and jettisons two executives.

Armstrong, the former golden boy of Google's advertising side, was hired just this past spring and has long been expected to initiate a massive restructuring. In his memo, he discusses a strategy session that nailed down where, exactly, the company is going. He also confirms his first two firings, reported previously by Business Insider: longtime company execs Kim Partoll, the COO, and Local, Mapping and Search boss John Kannapell. Both were hired shortly after AOL's disastrous merger with Time Warner.

He also mentions a "Project Everest:"

We have a strong strategy and we need to be laser focused on execution. We are planning another video update next week with a progress report on Project Everest, and I look forward to seeing you all then.

We look forward to that video, too! Full memo:

New Yorker Gets Great Hip Hop Story Somehow [Wtf]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:52:02 -0400

Wowza, Ta-Nehisi Coates got an entire profile of MF Doom in the New Yorker this week, something so unlikely it sounds like a dare. The best hip hop journalist profiles today's illest MC in America's best magazine. Mmmm, food.

WWE CEO Linda McMahon To Run For Senate [Politics]

Pareene — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:43:35 -0400

World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon is going to run for Senate from Connecticut, as a Republican, against ~~Joe Lieberman~~ Chris Dodd (whoops!). Let's learn more about her!

McMahon has been stepping up her support of the Connecticut Republican party, having been appointed to the State Board of Education earlier this year. Also in 2000, her husband Vince—shortly after he arranged the kidnapping, and rape of their daughter Stephanie—drugged her with sedatives and had her committed to a sanatorium.

When her son Shane challenged Vince to a public wrestling match later that summer, Linda shockingly emerged from her drug-induced coma just as the live, televised match concluded, and delivered a blow to her husband's groin that helped Shane to win the match.

In 2007, Linda McMahon announced that she'd kicked husband Vince out of their home due to allegations that he'd fathered an illegitimate child.

McMahon formally announced her intention to run for Senate as a Republican this morning, despite the fact that she's donated to sometime Democrat Joe Lieberman in the past. This is known as "turning heel."

[Pictured: Republican candidate for Senate Linda McMahon is Tombstoned by Kane.]

Shia Lebeouf and Oliver Stone: 22nd near 6th [Gawker Stalker]

ericajane — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:41:18 -0400

September 16th @ 9am Shooting a motorcycle scene [for Wall Street 2 - Ed.] Here's a photo from the action. Stone is standing in shadow near the entrance to the garage. [Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com]

Oracles Declare Recession Over: Prepare to Feel Statistically Better [Lies, Damn Lies]

John Cook — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:35:20 -0400

Yesterday, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke announced that the recession is "very likely" over, and Warren Buffett and Rupert Murdoch have agreed. Good news, except most of the bad things about recessions keep on going after they're over.

Bernanke said yesterday that he expects growth to return to the economy this year, which Time's Justin Fox points out isn't really news, since he said virtually the same thing last month. But the news narratives must be forged, so for some reason this time we're taking it seriously. Buffett told CNBC this morning that we've "hit a plateau at bottom," and Murdoch says he thinks the economy is "going to get a nice bump."

But all three men issued warnings that the the recovery will be slow, painful, and jobless. Here's Benanke:

Even though from a technical perspective the recession is very likely over at this point, it's still going to feel like a very weak economy for some time as many people will still find that their job security and their employment status is not what they wish it was.

In other words, the arbitrary statistical measures that we've decided to use to judge the health of the economy tell us that the recession is over, but most of the real-world measures that actual people use to judge the health of their economic lives—whether they have a job, can count on keeping the job, and make enough money from the job to live on—are still tanking. It's kind of like a pilot emerging from wreckage of an air disaster and announcing, "The plane crash is over!"

Terms like "recession" are obviously useful to economists and bankers, but they fail to capture the reason they are actually bad. So maybe we should come up with a new word to reign in the sort of statistical chicanery that permits headlines saying RECESSION IS OVER when unemployment continues to stand a hair under 10 percent and likely will for months and months to come. "Mancession" is already taken, sadly. How about "realcession"?

Just Let the Hippies Have Their Drug Church [Religion Is Fantasy]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:11:04 -0400

Hippies in Santa Fe, New Mexico just want to build their "church" and drink ayahuasca out back, in the shed, and trip balls. Neighbors are not so happy about it. It's a classic religious freedom case. With magical elves.

In rural Brazil, ayahuasca really is used for its mystical, spiritual properties. In Santa Fe, New Mexico, ayahuasca is used by hippies who equate spirituality with drugs. Which is okay, because they're a certified church, and this is their right! It is not any more crazy than "Jesus."

The WSJ reports that neighbors say they're worried about hippies driving all crazy after getting wasted on psychedelics, and also they're worried that teenagers will break into their hippie greenhouse and steal the two separate plants it takes to brew up ayahuasca, which, haha, not when it's much easier to steal your prescription Valium, mom. Anyhow, who are you to say god is not actually a transforming machine elf?

"They" were also definitely in the house. It may be that Terence McKenna has simply seeded the meme-space that surrounds some tryptamines with his famous tales of self-transforming machine elves that proffer various alien objects/machines/languages with an almost malignant glee. But I certainly know what he is talking about, and these fellows now haunt the tryptamine realm for me. Tonight they leaned in quickly: "Oh you are back. We suckered you in here once again!" And they proceeded with their mischevious chittering bee-dance, as if they were coaxing me into some kind of hyperdimensional circuit that would leave sanity far behind. I never "gave in" though, whatever that means, and by the end of the trip, I was utterly tired of their cavortings.

[Pic via]

Fewer Leno Viewers Than Expected Flee on Night Two [Ratings Report]

Richard Rushfield — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:03:44 -0400

After a bang-up opener which drew 18 million viewers, what's a third of your audience more or less?

Early ratings numbers — to be adjusted later today — show viewership on the Big Chin's sophomore outing falling off by 34 percent. The Hollywood Reporter reports that "For its second episode, The Jay Leno Show drew a metered-market household rating of 8.0 and 13 share — down 34% from his Monday debut. "

A big drop, but probably less than executives might have feared.

The second night which featured guests Tom Cruise and Michael Moore faced off against stiff competition than on Monday night, going up against Big Brother and a Barbara Walters tribute to Patrick Swayze.

Critics were no kinder to their permanent punching bag's second night than they were to his first. And with every interest in entertainment facing certain doom if Leno succeeds, Hollywood may well be meeting in secret conclave today, wondering if they should bring out all sorts of secret weapons and private militias.

Watch your back Jay. Hollywood won't go down without a fight.

Suicide Kicks Off Tax-Cheat Hell Week [The Rich]

Ryan Tate — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:02:31 -0400

For tax evaders, the coming seven days are a time of panic, self loathing and wrenching decisions. Hanging over it all is the suicide of an apparently terrified plutocrat, reportedly wanted by the IRS for hiding a small fortune.

Finn Caspersen, a New Jersey heir and philanthropist, may have dodged up to $100 million in taxes via accounts in the tax haven of Liechtenstein, sources told the New York Times. Under scrutiny from the IRS, he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound on Labor Day.

And now, amid a major federal crackdown on tax shelters, other tax dodgers face a wrenching choice: Hope they don't get caught and, perhaps, meet Caspersen's fate; or turn themselves in and pay their back taxes. They have a week to decide; the IRS will give them a sort of amnesty if they fess up by September 23, one week from now. Might as well act now, amid an economic collapse that has the fallen rich trying to reinvent themselves left and right. That sort of brutal redemption won't stay in vogue much longer.

(Pic via)

[via Business Insider]

Terror Alert Remains "Electrical Banana" [Terror]

Pareene — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 11:30:31 -0400

Appointing a commission to examine the Department of Homeland Security's color-coded terrorism "alert" program: good! Letting Bush terror advisor Frances Townsend head that commission: argh.

What We Know About Raymond J. Clark III [Person Of Interest]

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 11:29:17 -0400

Yale lab technician Ray Clark, the only "person of interest" in the Annie Le murder so far, is free for the moment. In the last 24 hours, we've learned a lot about Ray Clark.

The Basics

Yale grad student Annie Le entered a school lab building on Sept. 8 (pictured) and was never seen alive again. She was asphyxiated and her body was hidden in the crawl space behind a wall. Clark worked as an animal tech in the Animal Research Center there. [The lab has been a target of PETA in the past, and it could prove consequential in the case; Clark was found with scratches on his body that he's blaming on the animals he worked with, rather than being from a fighting Le.] Based on 700 hours of surveillance footage, police named him a "Person of Interest." They executed a search warrant on his apartment last night, took DNA from him, and released him. He has not been charged.

One lesson in all this: You could theoretically be totally innocent of a crime, but still find everything you posted online end up in the tabloids. So think before you go too crazy on the internet.

Ray Clark's Digital Trail

Ray had a barely-filled-in Myspace page that he hadn't accessed since 2006. It looks like he just used it for a momentary joke, although he probably now regrets writing that he wants to meet "your mom so I can fuck her." His girlfriend, Jennifer Hromadka, also had a Myspace page, though it's been deleted.

The couple also had a wedding page on The Knot that's been hidden. But according to Hunter Walker, who glimpsed much of Ray Clark's online info before it was pulled, it "says that the couple planned to get married on December 20, 2011 and that they have been engaged since New Year's Day 2008.

The E-Mail Trail [NYDN]

Investigators reportedly zeroed in on Clark in part because of emails he sent to Le.

In the e-mails, Clark is said to criticize Le for not adhering to the protocols for tending the mice kept in the basement as part of her lab's ongoing experiments.
Le is said to have responded in a conciliatory tone, promising to keep to the protocols. Investigators wonder if Clark was not satisfied, if resentment suddenly flared to rage, if as crazy as it may seem this was a case of mice and murder.

His Family's Explanation [NYP]

"He did not pass the polygraph test . . . But of course, they don't always run true anyway, especially when you're nerved up asking so many questions," the sympathetic [family] source insisted.
As for Clark's fresh wounds, "He had scratches on his arm from his cat," the person said.
The source said Clark, whom the family calls "Ray Ray," works at the lab along with his fiancée, sister and her husband.
"But he didn't really know [Le]," the source said.
"She left the area before he left that morning. He'd seen her and said, 'Hi' and kept on going."

Cheating Rumors [NYP]

Ray's fiancee Jennifer Hromadka took to a blog to deny unspecified rumors that Ray was cheating on her.

"My boyfriend, Ray, if you don't know him, has no interest in any of the other girls at [the university research center] as anything more than friends.
"This rumor of a 'fling' is probably the most stupid thing i have ever heard and really is not even worth going into detail about.

What The Neighbors Say [NYDN]

"It definitely freaks me out," said Ivan Hernandez, 22, who lives directly above Clark. "A possible murderer living right under you, that's crazy. I thought he was just a normal guy."
One of Clark's former neighbors in New Haven said he screamed at children and was "very controlling" of his girlfriend.
"Ray was very controlling of his girlfriend," said Anne Marie Goodwin, 40. "He would never let her talk to anyone. I would hear a lot of yelling upstairs."
Clark - a 2004 graduate of Branford High School, who mostly worked with rodents at Yale - "kept a pit bull caged in his apartment," Goodwin said.