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rudderless brooklyn
We Know What's Going to Happen On Tonight's Real World Premiere
Tonight is the premiere of The Real World: Brooklyn. Can you feel the electric tingle in the air? We can't either. So let's try to get some excitement building by making some predictions! More » -
Recessionomics
It's So Awkward Being Rich These Days
Unconspicuous consumption is the hot new thing. That $300 million megayacht? Tacky, what with the layoffs. Private jet? Forget about it, after Detroit's debacle. Even the celebrity goodie-bag business is endangered. More » -
journalismism
Joe The Latest Desperate Attempt at Remaining Relevant
"Joe the Plumber" is going to war! Some website is paying him to go to Israel and talk about things he knows nothing about, specifically everything. We were so close to being rid of him! More » -
Television
New Mad Men Ripoff Lacks Sex Appeal, Cigarettes
Because every excellent, original TV series must have an inferior ripoff on another network: forget Mad Men, the new advertising-centric drama is Trust Me. On TNT! Your new Don Draper: that guy from Ed. More » -
It's just lunch!
Obama Has Lunch With Lonely Old Failures
Barack Obama had to have lunch with a bunch of boring old white guys today. Was it a round-table discussion on the future of the media? No, it was the presidents' lunch. More » -
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"Miss... Um... Madonna If You Nasty."
[A heavily airbrushed Madonna, a fifty year old British woman, in a new campaign for clothier Louis Vuitton (pronounced "Lewis Vootin"); image via Splash] -
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Advertising
Atheist war on ChristmasJesus strikes London. Beware. [NYT]
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death of print
Google Boss to Newspapers: No Bailout
Everyone wants a sugar daddy to save them. Wall Street has found one in Washington. But the newspaper industry has been batting its eyes in the direction of Mountain View, Calif., home of Google. Ha! More » -
Fox and Friends
'Two fingers in, you get yourself some jelly, and just moisturize yourself!'
Fox & Friends anchor Brian Kilmeade says a man stuck on a ski lift with his ass hanging out should "get a Vaseline sponsorship," so he can "slide two fingers in." Plus: "Stimulus." More » -
Clips
The Tears of a TSA Agent
If a TSA agent cries after making you take off your shoes or throw away expensive makeup, will you still be mad at him? ABC's Homeland Security USA sought an answer last night. More » -
Celebrity science
Celebrity Vacations of Doom: Bonnie Fuller Explains
Oh hey, former celebrity magazine editor Bonnie Fuller is still writing some of the internet's columns most inexplicable columns, about celebrity issues. Today she answers the secret question: Why do celebs always die on vacation? More » -
what the hell
Roland Burris Will Very Probably Be a Senator
So Roland Burris, the crazy new Illinois Senator-in-waiting, will be seated! According to the Associated Press! But not according to Harry Reid. But... maybe? More » -
lapdance
Chaunce Hayden's Strip Club Movie Revealed!
If you're waiting anxiously for the Tucker Max movie release, you can look forward to this too: Jersey gossip Chaunce Hayden (pictured) has written a movie about stripper palace Scores. He sent us a summary! More » -
Invitations
You Should Go To Luke Russert's Inaug-Eve Partay
Thick-necked celebrity son Luke Russert is having an Inauguration Eve party! For that black guy who won! Would you like to go? Here is the invitation. More » -
Recessionomics
Job Hunting Grows Ever More Cutthroat
As the mobs of newly unemployed people tire of eating squirrel, they determine to do anything necessary to land that next job. Even if it means cheating on the world's easiest "personality test": More » -
Crime
Face-Slashing State Senator to be Seated Today
Cops are leaking details of their investigation into incoming State Senator Hiram Monserrate's little face-slashing incident. More » -
Sonja Kohn
Financier's Life Becomes Crazy Spy Movie
Movie idea: the daughter of Jewish refugees flees Europe for Wall Street, strikes it rich, gains billionaire mobster clients, but is then forced into hiding by a deal gone wrong. Bonus: it's a true story. More » -
Hoaxes
Oprah Deigns to Acknowledge Herman Rosenblat Hoax
Infallible God that she is, Oprah never makes a mistake. No, what happens is that people make mistakes near her and then her gravitational pull forces them close to her. Like Herman Rosenblat's lying!
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Clowns
Greta Van Susteren Leaps to Defense of Her Good Friend Sarah Palin
Fox News' Greta Van Susteren is Sarah Palin's close friend and kitchen buddy, and she's not about to stand back and let CNN slanderously accuse Palin of "falling from grace" last year. Huh. More » -
Snubs
Universally Reviled Australian Bumping Obamas From Blair House
We finally learned who Bush booked in the Blair House instead of letting the Obamas stay there. And—surprise!—it's a major-league asshole.
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Roger Kumble Directs New Teen Version of Doubt
[Blake Lively filming that "The Amazing Gossip Brothers Detective Agency" show she's on or whatever in St. Louis or Central Park or something; image via Splash] -
Blind Items
Which 'Paunchy Hollywood Star' Likes Eastern European Hookers?
Today we just have lots of stuff about hookers. It's sort of sad, really. Oh and something about bad breath. More » -
Television
Ann Coulter Is Not Grateful For Today Show Invitation
After all the "banning" bullshit, NBC had Ann Coulter on the Today show this morning. She is that person you didn't want to invite to the party, but did, and then wished you hadn't.
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Gossip Roundup
Fake G.E. CEO Drives Drunk
It regrettable quote day! Josh Broslin called Russell Crowe an "asshole;" Lily Allen defended cocaine; Sumner Redstone bragged about sex and 30 Rock's Rip Torn insisted the ground was drunk, not him. More » -
caroline kennedy
The Caroline Times File: Maureen Dowd's Insane Love Letter
Caroline Kennedy is not only close friends with the publisher of the Times, Maureen Dowd "knows" her as well, so the senate hopeful got a love letter from the Times columnist, for sucking. More » -
The Internet
Critics Slam Rap Tribute By Bhutto's Daughter
It's pretty amazing that the daughter of slain Pakistani premier Benazir Bhutto recorded and uploaded to YouTube a rap song about her mom, in English. Also amazing: The harsh reviews. More » -
Recessionomics
In The Depression, You Will Eat Squirrel
The Brits suddenly love squirrel! And so will we, probably: the critters run $3 each, and the Times concedes they seem perfect for a recession. More » -
Moguls
Jon Stewart Reduces Rupert Murdoch To '14-Year-Old Girl'
Jon Stewart humiliated pundit Tucker Carlson with a public deconstruction years ago. But his dissembling of media villain Rupert Murdoch last night was, in a way, more damning. More »















