Jezebel

Steve Carrell Has Three Weeks to Live and He's Gonna Spend Them With Keira Knightley [Video]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:45:00 EST

That's the premise of Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, an apocalyptic romcom crashing into theaters this summer. The title seems to be based on a song by Chris Cornell, and the plot unfolds thusly: An asteroid named Mathilda is heading towards Earth, and people are trying to figure out what the fuck to do with their final days. Steve Carrell plays Dodge, a man looking for the one who got away, and Keira Knightley plays Penny, his neighbor who decides to help him.

The flick was written and directed by Lorene Scafaria, who penned the script for Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (and found herself in the gossip pages recently, when she hung out in Italy with Ashton Kutcher at Christmastime). It's unclear from the trailer whether Dodge and Penny end up together, but it's notable that the stars are a 49-year-old man and a 26-year-old woman, because even as the world ends, no one wants to see ladies over 30 do anything. Still, chances are, it ends with a bang: Either of the asteroid or the sex variety.

Watch The "Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World" Trailer [Buzzfeed]

Doting Father Discovers Daughter's Facebook Rant, Pumps Her Laptop Full of Bullets [Video]

Madeleine Davies — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:20:00 EST

When this father discovered his daughter's bratty rant about him on Facebook, he decided to make a rant of his own. The only difference is his (which he thankfully decided to videotape) ended with him shooting a round of hollow-point bullets into his entitled kid's laptop to ensure that she doesn't do it again. Texas forever.

Obama to Announce Birth-Control Compromise That Satisfies No One [Pill Baby Pill]

Anna North — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:00:00 EST

Obama's reportedly going to announce some sort of compromise today on the requirement that religious employers cover birth control. What's the compromise? No one really knows yet. But apparently it's not going to make anybody happy.

According to ABC, sometime today "the White House — possibly President Obama himself" will announce an "accommodation" for religious groups. The accommodation will apparently be "based on state models" and might involve insurance companies stepping into provide birth control coverage themselves. ABC says this is cheaper for them than the alternative since it keeps them from having to deal with the consequences of unintended pregnancies, but it's still unlikely that insurance companies are going to pay for birth control out of their own pockets. Will religious employees have to pay some sort of separate premium directly to insurance companies for their birth control? And won't this piss off the same people who didn't like the idea of separate funds for abortion coverage in the health care bill? Probably, says ABC:

The move, based on state models, will almost certainly not satisfy bishops and other religious leaders since it will preserve the goal of women employees having their birth control fully covered by health insurance.

As long as it actually preserves that goal, it might be good news for women's health. But in the healthcare debate, lots of the so-called compromises on abortion coverage were actually shitty for women. It remains to be seen whether Obama's new "accommodation" will protect women's basic right to contraceptive coverage.

White House to Announce ‘Accommodation' for Religious Organizations on Contraception Rule [ABC]

Image via Barbara J. Petrick/Shutterstock.com

How Badly Do You Want to Work at Home? [Work]

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:30:00 EST

How badly do you want to be a telecommuter? It may seem preferable to a lengthy drive followed by sitting in a cubicle hive for hours at a time, while being forced to endure the banal conversations of those around you as you try to get things done. But just how much would you give up to get it?

It turns out, according to a survey done by TeamViewer, an online communications provider, and Harris interactive, that people would be willing to give up an awful lot to get the chance to work in their pajamas and never leave their house. Here's some of what the 2,600+ people surveyed said they'd trade for the chance to become an unkempt hermit:

-29 percent of people would give up chocolate
-25 percent would give up their smartphone
-20 percent would give up shopping
-34 percent would give up social media
-30 percent would give up texting

Hmm, that is interesting, but also oddly useless, because it's not like you can just trade in your chocolate bars or your smartphone for a new job that let's you telecommute. What would make more sense is trading salary or benefits for flexibility, which respondents did say they'd do. Seventeen percent would give up a salary increase, and 15 percent would give up half of their vacation days for the opportunity to work from home. Or you might not have to trade anything if you could prove to your employer that it would save them money and make you more productive—but you could always offer to give up wearing the color green or to never watch another DVD as long as you live, if you think it would sweeten the deal.

Strangely, 12 percent of people said they'd give up daily showers if they could telecommute, and five percent said they would divorce their spouse. Wow, the picture of this person sitting in their home office—unwashed, divorced, and with no way to connect with their friends—is getting kind of depressing. But on the bright side, they'd probably be a very productive employee, since they'd have absolutely no distractions and could be available to work 24 hours a day.

Employees Would Give Up Showers and Spouses to Work from Home [LiveScience]

Image via StockLite/Shutterstock.

Recovering Bulimic Lady Gaga is Sick of the Diet Wars [Video]

Luke Malone — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:00:00 EST

Though Lady Gaga's day wardrobe often consists of little more than some Saran Wrap and oversized sunglasses, she confessed she wasn't always so free and easy when it comes to body image and struggled with bulimia during high school. Speaking at a conference called It's Our Turn at an LA school, Gaga shared her story when a girl admitted to struggling with body issues and asked her how she got to be so confident. "I used to throw up all the time in high school. So I'm not that confident. I wanted to be a skinny little ballerina but I was a voluptuous little Italian girl whose dad had meatballs on the table every night," she said, adding that she stopped when she realized the stomach acid was impacting negatively on her vocal chords. "Weight is still a struggle. Every video I'm in, every magazine cover, they stretch you – they make you perfect. It's not real life ... I'm gonna say this about girls: The dieting wars have got to stop. Everyone just knock it off. Because at the end of the day, it's affecting kids your age. And it's making girls sick." [Page Six]

It's going to do wonders for her no doubt impressive ego, but Madonna is inadvertently promoting peace in the Middle East after Israeli fans begged Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu not to attack Iran until after her Tel Aviv concert. "Bibi don't start a war with Iran until after Madonna's show on May 29," reads a statement on group's Facebook page. With Bibi being a popular nickname for the PM. [Haaretz]
In related news, Madge is giving away copies of her new album to those who purchase concert tickets. Every so gently softening the blow of the $359.50 Yankee Stadium floor seats. [Page Six]

As I told Renée, the avid and awesome Dirt Bag reader who sent me this little nugget, when I think of sexual pleasure my mind goes directly to Kris Jenner. So, clearly, there is no one better suited to become the new face of Zestra Essential Arousal Oils – which claims "to enhance a woman's sexual pleasure by heightening sensitivity to touch." Ensuring that the next time you sit down to masturbate or have sex with your partner you think of Kris. Who wouldn't want that? [Life & Style]

The world lost its collective shit when Kristen Bell showed a video of herself losing hers when faced with the heart-stopping adorableness of a sloth on Ellen. Clearly it was only a matter of time before someone Songify-d it and, with it, created summer's biggest hit. It's this year's "Can't Hug Every Cat!" [YouTube]

In further adorable news, but also tinged with sadness, Hilary Duff posted a picture of her Chihuahua, Lola – who is doing well after brain surgery. "[She] was having terrible seizures," Tweeted Duff. "She had a shunt put in her scull2drain fluid off her brain & now is doing great." The thought of Lola's wee little noggin requiring surgery is too much. It's great she's doing well. [E!]

If you ever wanted to know what Jack Donaghy's memoir Jack-Off would look like, well, here you go. [NY Mag]
Love fashion, bitching about people and drinking? Well, Rose Byrne has come up with a drinking game that'll make the Oscar pre-show red carpet even more fun. [Fashionista]
It's no shock that the entertainment industry has messed up ideas about women of a certain age, but this article about Demi Moore deserves a mention for the title alone – "No Country For Old Women." Yeah, I'm easily won. [Forbes]
It's amazing that Lindsay Lohan is so confident of her allure that when she wants some businessman to buy her a $20K present for no particular reason she gets an assistant to ask him. [Page Six]
Whenever I see a link about a celebrity's fitness regime I always roll my eyes before clicking it and reading the article in full. Here is Jennifer Aniston's if you want to roll and click. [Page Six]
50 Cent is over in Kenya and Somalia with the World Food Program team. [NYDN]
I'm the last one to say a nice word about LeAnn Rimes, but she did have some balls going on Chelsea Lately after Chelsea Handler spoke a lot of shit about her. [E!]
It's been a long time coming – Paul McCartney gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. [E!]
Halle Berry says the reason she wants to move to her daughter Nahla to France with boyfriend Olivier Martinez is because she's scared of her stalkers and their death threats. [E!]
The casting team behind The Hunger Games didn't want two worlds colliding and told Kellan Lutz he couldn't audition for the part of Gale Hawthorne because he was in Twilight. [US]
Wanting it to be as authentic as possible, Vanessa Hudgens spent two weeks living in a homeless to prepare for her role in Gimme Shelter. [US]
We already knows how she feels about Karl Lagerfeld's opinion on the subject, and Adele had even more to say about body image when she appeared on 60 Minutes with Anderson Cooper: "I don't want to be some skinny mini with my tits out. I really don't want to do it and I don't want people confusing what it is that I'm about." [US]
Christina Aguilera has spoken out about how her father abused her and her mother when she was a child, but now she wants to put it all behind her and "have lunch" with the man. [US]
It's easy enough to try and forget what's in your Burger King meal, but Michael Lohan serving it to you? Too much! [TMZ]
I have always, currently do and will continue to love Coco until the day I'm put into the cold, hard ground. This picture she Tweeted of herself lying naked next to her infant nephew is an example of why. Why? Why not?! [TMZ]
Chelsea Handler admits she's harder on men than women because they've had an easier ride in life. [Radar]
Chris Brown won't be doing the red carpet at the Grammys. Which is probably for the best — I know what I'd ask if I were in the press pit. [Radar]
Fans of Melissa McCarthy had better brace themselves because she just landed a TV deal with CBS. Though don't expect to see her, she'll be executive producer and her husband Ben Falcone will star. [Vulture]
And fans of Portlandia had better brace their eyes because the series is soon to be in book form: "The guide will be written like a traditional travel book, but instead of recommending a reasonably priced diner in Oaxaca, it will lead readers through the Portlandia's landmarks, restaurants, and, undoubtedly, book stores." [Vulture]
Wondering if Lana Del Ray's lips are injectable free? Well, she says they're cartoonized but the real deal. [Just Jared]
More on Del Ray: she says she owes her voice to falling out of a tree, breaking her ribs and not telling a soul about it. Don't try this at home. [Just Jared]

Make Your Engagement Extra Special by Proposing at Pizza Hut [Proposals]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:55:00 EST

Asking someone to marry you is one of life's most amazing events; so what better place to do it than at Pizza Hut, one of the most amazing places on the planet. For the bargain price of just $10,010, you can get a complete Pizza Hut proposal package. That may seem a bit pricey for what is not necessarily the most gourmet pizza pie, but before you balk, you should know they provide the ring! And they also throw in limo service, a videographer, a photographer, flowers, fireworks, and...$10 worth of pizza and breadsticks to chow down on after she says yes. (Or you could hide the ring under a slice of pepperoni and propose mid-meal, if you want to make in an extra greasy engagement.) This is one can't lose meal deal, because there is no girl in the world who would say no to a question popped with pizza. You'd better act quickly though. They're only offering 10 of these packages, and you've got to buy before Valentine's Day.

[Via Eater]

Terrible Judge Says Woman Fired Over Pumping Breast Milk Wasn't Discriminated Against [Discrimination]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:15:00 EST

In a curious decision, a judge in Texas has ruled that a woman who was fired after she asked for a place in the office to pump her breast milk was not discriminated against. Donnicia Venters was working at a debt collection agency called Houston Funding in 2008 when she gave birth to a daughter. As she was about to come back from maternity leave, she asked the company's vice president for a private place in the office to pump her breast milk, and she was suddenly told her position had been filled. She then got a back-dated termination notice a week later, which cited "job abandonment" as the cause.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission took her case to court, but a judge just dismissed the case saying she was not discriminated against because of pregnancy—which would be a violation of the Civil Rights Act. According to Judge Lynn Hughes, "She gave birth on December 11, 2008. After that day, she was no longer pregnant, and her pregnancy-related conditions had ended." So, in the eyes of the law people just spontaneously begin producing breast milk, and it has no connection to a pregnancy? And what about the health consequences for the mother (not to mention the baby) faces if she's unable to pump when she needs to? That is all kinds of wrong.

Venters was understandably frustrated, saying, "I don't understand the judge's decision. A child needs a mother and mother's milk. It really isn't fair and it is discrimination. I just hope the law will be changed." Unfortunately for Venters, she was fired before an amendment to another law was made in 2010 that requires companies to provide break time and a private place for mothers to pump milk. Venters' lawyer is considering appealing the decision.

Woman says judge's ruling on pumping breast milk was unfair [Reuters]

Image via mrfiza/Shutterstock.

An Awkward Moment with Lindsay Lohan, Woody Allen, and Soon-Yi [Snap Judgment]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:30:00 EST

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 08: (L-R) Soon-Yi Previn, Lindsay Lohan, and Woody Allen attend the amfAR New York Gala To Kick Off Fall 2012 Fashion Week at Cipriani Wall Street on February 8, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

Amazing Little Girl Can Give Better Directions Than Any GPS [Video]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:45:00 EST

So many of us have become completely dependent on our phones and GPS systems for guidance, that we'd be hard pressed to give someone directions to the nearest corner if asked. Well, not this little genius. She's got the route to her house down pat—and it's not an easy path to travel. I wish there was a way to have her ride along in the car on trips, since she seems like a lot more fun that that stone cold British woman who lives inside the GPS.

[Via Tastefully Offensive]

Republican Politician Offers a Heartwarming Defense of Gay Marriage [Video]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:05:00 EST

These days it feels like a miracle when you find a sane-sounding Republican willing to go against the party line, which is why this speech by Washington State Representative Maureen Walsh feels quite remarkable. Walsh, a Republican from Walla Walla, spoke yesterday in support of the marriage equality bill being debated in the House, and she made a lovely and compelling case.

A widow, she spoke very frankly about why she valued her own marriage—and, in a particularly funny moment, she said, "I don't miss the sex" and then backtracked a bit on that sentiment. But her main point is that she doesn't want to deny anyone else the right to experience the same wonderful connection she had with her husband, least of all her daughter, who happens to be a lesbian. Walsh was one of two Republicans who supported the bill, which passed 55-43, and will be signed into law next week. Three cheers for her for standing up for what's right and not just what's Right.

Aaand if that's got you feeling just a little too hopeful about the state of the world, try watching this video wherein another Republican from Washington, State Rep. Mark Hargrove, says gay marriage is basically no different than a man wanting to marry a slice of bacon—a lesson he learned from watching a Jack in the Box commercial during the Super Bowl.

I suppose you could make this stuff up if you tried, but why would you want to when reality is so much more mind-bending?

[Via The Dish]

Comment of the Day: A Union Divided Might Actually Be Awesome [Reader Roundup]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:30:00 EST

While Rick Santorum was raking in campaign cash, mcstabbypants was busy pondering what the rest of us could do to retain our sanity:

Can we just split the country up into two parts? Those people who would really like to live in a country without universal healthcare, where abortions are illegal, where gay people can't marry, and whatever other lame ultra-conservative notions are popular, can go live there, and the rest of us can live in the other one. Santorum, Romney, and the rest of 'em can duke it out for president of "Craptastic USA" and we can watch it on t.v. like a reality show or something. It's a huge country; we have the room to divvy it up. The only problem I can see would be the large influx of refugees from "Craptastic USA" to "Reasonable USA" once people start to realize that actually *living* under their own ideals kind of sucks.

Problem solved!

Submit nominations to the Comment of the Day tag page. Click on the comment's time stamp, and post the comment's URL to the forum along with the tag #cotd. (Replying to a comment with "#cotd" does not work.)

Use #trollpatrol to report comments that you feel the editors/mods should be aware of. Try not to respond to/approve/promote trollish comments in the threads — instead, just post the comment on the #trollpatrol page, the same way you'd post a comment on #groupthink or on the #cotd page, and the editors/mods will take care of it.

For meetups, use the meetup tag page!

Gwyneth Paltrow Goes All Out For Blue Ivy's Baby Gift [Dirt Bag]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:00:00 EST

What do you get for the BFF who has everything and then also has a baby? Well, if you're Gwyneth Paltrow, you buy your pal Beyoncé a top of the line Bugaboo Cameleon stroller—retail price $979. Nothing but the best for Blue Ivy™. But here's a question: what the hell are Beyoncé and Jay-Z going to do with a stroller? That child is not going to see the light of day until she already knows how to walk, or maybe she won't even need to walk because she'll be carried aloft on a platform everywhere she goes. Actually, maybe they could use it to push the baby around inside her 2,200-square-foot nursery. Either way, props to the Goop for the nice gesture. [Us]

And while we are on the topic of Blue Ivy™, her grandmother Tina Knowles finally spoke out about her new grandchild. She wasn't afraid to deliver the hard-hitting truth about what's going on with the world's most famous baby: "She's doing great. She's beautiful." Now you know. [People]

It's totally normal to have actual feelings of jealousy upon learning that Eva Mendes has joined Ryan Gosling in Thailand for a little R&R, right? OK, cool, glad we're all on the same page. The unfairly attractive couple is hanging out there while Ryan works on his new movie Only God Forgives. You know who else forgives? We do, RyGuy. If you ever want to come crawling back to us, we will totally forgive you for straying into Mendes Territory. [Just Jared]

Please brace yourself if you live anywhere within 100 miles of Jersey City, New Jersey, because that's where Snooki and JWoww will be filming their Jersey Shore spinoff. Fortunately for the city's residents, the police seem to be prepared for the arrival of the orange tornado and are not afraid to shut things down if they get too crazy. [OMG!, TMZ]

For a while it looked like it was Jessica Chastain's role, but she must have been busy starring in every other movie being made because now Naomi Watts has signed on to play Princess Diana in the movie Caught in Flight. I'm sure no one will pay any attention to this film and will certainly not obsess over how Naomi does, because as a general rule people are totally uninterested in anything having to do with Lady Di. [The Sun]

Demi Moore is in an undisclosed location at some kind of treatment facility, but now there's word that, wherever she is, she's seeking help from famed spiritual guru Deepak Chopra. They've known each other for a long time, so it's not like one of those weird "I'm famous, I'll just call the most famous healer I can think of" deals. [People]
For once, a celebrity has white powder on top of their nose, not underneath it. Ellie Kemper went a little overboard with the makeup. Us called it a major "fax pas" (sounds like something from the 90s), but we can probably give her a break, since really in the grand scheme of things, a little makeup on your face is no biggie. [Us]
Miley Cyrus has decided not to be in Adam Sandler's new animated movie, Hotel Transylvania, which is surely our loss. But it is also our gain because another super famous teen, Selena Gomez, is going to be in it instead. [E!]
Something very weird is going on with Macauley Culkin in these photos, but, despite what it looks like, his rep says he's in "perfectly good health." [Buzzfeed, OMG!]
Hugh Laurie fans: commence mourning now. House is no more after this season. You have until May to make peace with your loss. [E!]
It's looking ever more certain that Halle Berry is, in fact, engaged to Olivier Martinez, and they are looking to relocate to France with her daughter Nahla. [TMZ]
Remember back when Matthew McConaughey got engaged to longtime gf Camila Alves? Well, now you can see her pretty ringetty-blingetty-bling. (That's how I imagine McConaughey says "ring.") [E!]
Here's something you will either love or hate: Lea Michele is in talks to be in the movie version of Spring Awakening playing the same role she did on Broadway. [Vulture]
Rest easy tonight, animal lovers. Hillary Duff reports that her beloved chihuahua Lola is "doing great" after undergoing brain surgery. [E!]
And finally this evening, we have yet another sign from the universe that ex-spouses Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter are back on the ol' love train. [Us]

RuPaul in 'Dragton Abbey' [TV]

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:45:00 EST

Next Wednesday on The Soup, RuPaul and some queens will star in a skit called "Dragton Abbey." It looks like Ru is Carson. We're hoping Joel McHale is the Dowager Countess.

Is Taylor Armstrong Tweeting Compliments to Herself? [Tweet Beat]

Madeleine Davies — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:30:00 EST

In today's Tweet Beat, Taylor Armstrong inspires herself, Jimmy Fallon rejoices in the return of the Shamrock Shake, Juliette Lewis has some strong words for rice pudding and Bette Middler shares her thoughts on Rick Santorum.

Max Azria Would Like To See You In Color-Blocked Caftans This Fall [Fashion Show]

Jenna Sauers — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:20:00 EST

Max Azria seems to be feeling pretty '70s for fall, at least in his BCBG Max Azria collection (the first to walk of the three brands he presents at New York Fashion Week, the others being Hervé Leger by Max Azria and Max Azria). There were fluid, flared trousers, coats in camel and leather, and floaty caftans.
There were also very few models of color. Out of the show's 34 looks, one was given to a black model — Sharam Diniz — and one was given to an Asian model — Shu Pei Qin. Sigh. Some people never learn.
But although there's not a lot of soaring creativity to these designs, let's face it: most of these dresses are eminently wearable. They look breezy, stylish, and comfortable. The color-blocking is pretty and the transparent panels are sexy. Yes, very wearable — so long as you don't happen to need a bra.
I particularly liked the pleated dresses that, as the models walked, kicked open to reveal a contrasting colored fabric on the insides of the pleats.

Breasts Make Excellent Puppets [NSFW] [Breast Intentions]

Anna North — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:15:00 EST

And not in sexy lingerie, either — Heidi Leigh dresses up her breasts as characters she calls "buppets" (breast puppets), and photographs them for her blog. Let's take a look at some of the b(r)e(a)st ones (warning: NSFW but in a funny way).

Here, a buppet wears a jaunty hat.

Sir Boobsalot is ready for battle!

Deltita Burke has a lovely coif.

Guys can make buppets too — meet Abraham Linctit.

Tit Thinks it's People [Home]

Catholic Bishops Want Every Business Including Taco Bell to Be Free to Deny Birth Control Coverage [Pill Baby Pill]

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:00:00 EST

Hey, look who it is poking its funny hats into the birth control debate! It's the Catholic Church again, and they're here tell the government that God wants every business owner to have the right to deny their female employees coverage for birth control. Even Taco Bell. Especially Taco Bell.

The Church, which is run by a bunch of dudes who are committed to celibacy, has called for the dispersal of all the Waaahmbulances in the world to their door as they complain about the new mandate, which would require all employers (with extremely rare exception) to provide birth control coverage for their female employees. Refusing to grant a religious exemption to church-run hospitals and universities is akin to infringing on religious freedom, they argue.

Well, now they've kicked the whining up a notch, demanding that the government allow every business in the country to opt out of covering contraception, not just religious-run institutions. Why? Because some people don't like it. Says an attorney for the US Council of Catholic Bishops, "If I quit this job and opened a Taco Bell, I'd be covered by the mandate."

Why in the world would the Catholic Bishops think they're the only class of people in America who have a special exception to the law made for them so that they don't have to pay for things they don't personally support? And why do they think that faith-based objections to things should trump reality-based objections? I don't support war for real reasons, but I pay taxes. I didn't support the idea of the old dudes I used to work with having sex with their mistresses with the aid of Viagra, but I still paid my insurance premiums. And I don't support the stink eye that the guy who works behind the counter at the bagel shop gave me the other day, but I still paid for my food.

Further, no one is forcing anyone to take birth control pills, and 98% of women will use hormonal birth control at some point during their lives. Rather than seeking to seeking to limit choices, the Church should get better at convincing people that birth control is bad. But then again, the Church has never excelled at allowing people to govern their own bodies. That seems like the opposite of what they're about.

Would You Like an Unplanned Pregnancy with that Burrito [Blog for Choice]

Baby Bear and Wolf Cub are The Cutest Best Friends You'll Ever See [Video]

Madeleine Davies — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:45:00 EST

Lil' Bear, a grizzly, and Tala, a wolf, have been best friends for six years. Better yet, there's video of the besties (beasties?) playing as babies. This might be the cutest thing you'll watch all day.

Grizzly Bear and Wolf Cub Playing [Daily Pics and Flicks]

Kansas and Oklahoma Battle to See Which State is Considering Crappier Abortion Restrictions [Roe V World]

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:30:00 EST

There's no better way for lawmakers to impress constituents nowadays than to pass draconian abortion restrictions, and no states are trying harder to enforce pregnancy than Kansas and Oklahoma. But which terrible, totalitarian abortion law is worse? Let's find out.

Scary innocuousness of the name
Kansas: "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act"
Oklahoma: "SB1433"
Advantage:: Oklahoma. It's more Hunger Games-y.

Medical inaccuracies
Kansas: The proposed "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act" would allow doctors to lie to women in an attempt to dissuade them from having abortions by saying that abortion causes breast cancer.
Oklahoma: Oklahoma SB1433 would redefine what a "person" is to include "the unborn child at every stage of development" and would bestow upon it "all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state." It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to know that as an acorn is not a mighty oak, so too is an embryo not a baby, but this fact is lost on lawmakers. The aim of SB1433 is to ban all abortion, although it fails to establish a law barring a woman from aborting her fetus because it trespassed on her private property.
Advantage: The abortion/breast cancer link is pure Kansas City horseshit, but Oklahoma's personhood bill is much more patently absurd. Oklahoma wins this round.

New Law vs. Old Law
Kansas Currently limits abortions after 20 weeks, and public funds are already banned from financing aborting pregnancies that aren't the result of rape, incest, or a danger to the mother's life. The new law would go further, seeking bar universities and teaching hospitals that perform abortions from receiving taxpayer money. This would make it difficult for medical schools to teach students how to perform abortions without serious consequences.
Oklahoma: Currently, abortions can legally be performed in the state with minimal restriction up to the point of viability (there are rules about where the procedure can occur, but not whether or not it can occur). The new law would theoretically ban all abortions.
Advantage: Oklahoma, again.

Number of women directly affected
Kansas: About 1.3 million women living in Kansas are currently between 15 and 45.
Oklahoma About 1.6 million women living in Kansas are currently between 15 and 45
Advantage: Oklahoma

Likelihood that a court injunction will block the bill from going into force
Kansas: Extremely
Oklahoma: Nearly inevitably
Advantage: Kansas, because the likelihood that the bill will take effect is greater.

Would women still be able to terminate pregnancy?
Kansas Yes
Oklahoma No
Advantage: Oklahoma

Exception for rape, incest or health of the mother?
Kansas: Teaching hospitals receiving state money would be allowed to perform abortions on nonviable fetuses or if the life of the mother was in danger. No exception for rape or incest. Women are free to have abortions that are not state hospitals, provided they soldier through the doctor's medically inaccurate speech.
Oklahoma: Depends on whether a fetus's legal status as a fully realized Oklahoman would allow women to kick it off their property/body for trespassing without permission.
Advantage: Oklahoma

Winner: Oklahoma! Way to go, Sooners.

Oklahoma's bill was approved in committee earlier this week. Kansas's bill is still in committee. And thinking people across the country are sitting agape at the baffling irony of "small government" conservatives attempting to legislate people's bodies.

Do You Keep Underwear In Your Purse? [Dating]

Anna North — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:15:00 EST

Apparently a lot of British ladies do! A survey (conducted, it must be said, by the possibly biased lingerie buyers at the department store Sainsbury's) found that 43% of single women "carry an extra pair of sexy underwear in their handbags, in case a date is successful." This seems really high to us — couldn't you just wear sexy underwear on the date, and thus eliminate the risk of whipping it out onto the table along with your wallet?

Image via GraÃ§a Victoria/Shutterstock.com

Some Cranky Guy at CPAC Says Rachel Maddow is Best Argument in Favor of Contraception [Video]

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:00:00 EST

If you've got clinically low blood pressure, I've got great news: the CPAC, or Conservative Political Action Conference, is meeting this week in Washington, raising the city's level of curmudgeonly dickishness to unprecedented levels. At the forefront of the race toward insufferability is Cal Thomas, conservative pundit who believes that Rachel Maddow's very existence is a great argument in favor of contraception... for Rachel Maddow's parents! Good one, dude!

If this clip depresses you, don't worry: this is the same crowd who thought Michele Bachmann would be a viable national candidate for President and who is driven mad with political lust for the scholarly opinions of Sarah Palin. They're the definition of fringe.

And, if it's any consolation, I'm sure Rachel Maddow would rather be a human argument for contraception than a human argument for euthanasia.

[HuffPo]

Bridesmaids Is Still Breaking Records and Raking in Cash [Video]

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:40:00 EST

It's been said that women aren't funny. And when Bridesmaids was released, at least one dude claimed it was "more alarming than actually funny" and noted "it goes on for what seems like forever." He was in the minority, though, because the flick was a box-office smash ($288 million worldwide), and has just become the most popular video-on-demand movie ever. EVER. Below, a few clips to remind you of the awesomeness.

Bridesmaids Is Biggest Video-On-Demand Film
[Newser]
'Bridesmaids' Becomes the Biggest Video-On-Demand Title of All Time [The Hollywood Reporter]

Surprising Number of Married People Spice Up Sex Lives With Public Spanking [Sex]

Anna North — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:20:00 EST

We've heard that women's interest in sex tends to decline over the course of a relationship, but now a study shows that most married women still think sex is an important part of their marriage. And some of the things they do to keep things lively are somewhat bizarre.

According to USA Today, a study of 1,001 women between 18 and 49 found that a full 75% of them thought a good sex life was "very or extremely important" to their marriage. You mean women still think about sex after they've snagged a husband? Shocking! Also interesting are womens' reasons for not having as much sex as they'd like: the top two were stress (50% of women said this was a problem) and exhaustion (49%). Then came kids (39%) and "lack of romance" (34%). Only 14% of women said they had less sex than they wanted because they weren't as attracted to their spouses anymore. This should be good news for people worried their spouse's declining libido is a judgment on their hotness, and it also suggests a potential cure for a struggling sex life — sleep and relaxation. That may be why so many people say their husband doing chores gets them in the mood — it's not that vacuuming is inherently sexy, but more that it gives the non-vacuumer a chance to take a nap.

Beyond helping around the house, couples had a few other ideas for spicing up their marriages, some of them kind of interesting. The most popular was kissing in public (pretty tame), followed by buying sexy lingerie (still soft-core) and using sex toys (a great idea as far as we're concerned). Then there was "pinched/spanked playfully in public," which 33% of women surveyed had apparently turned to in an effort to rekindle lust. This suggest that a relatively large number of marriage people are spanking one another while out together — how have I missed this phenomenon? Whatever works, I guess — although some of the other strategies sound more fun. My favorite: "late to work/appointment because you were having sex."

75% of married women say sex is 'very important' [USA Today]

Image via Claudiu Mihai Badea/Shutterstock.com

Cupcakes Are Ruining Everything [Dessert]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:00:00 EST

Once upon a time, cupcakes were just a run of the mill dessert. Now there are boutique cupcake bakeries all over the place and our consumption shows no signs of slowing. It's no fad; the Washington Post has declared that our relationship with cupcakes is "an enduring love affair." Of course, the things you love say a lot about you. And, apparently, our love of cupcakes reveals some pretty disturbing things about us.

To get to the gooey bottom of our relationship with cupcakes, the Post talked to all kinds of cupcake professionals. And what have they discovered? Well, for one thing, our love of cupcakes is an embodiment of our neediness and greed. Wait, what? Yes, it's true, according to Brad Lamm, a "registered interventionist" who has been on The Dr. Oz Show:

Cupcakes are indicative of where this country is with our desire to self-soothe through food. People tell themselves, "One won't hurt me" because [cupcakes] are so small, dainty and delicious. Our desire for more and for self-soothing is out of control.

Awesome "expert" opinion, Mr. Lamm. Perhaps you need to hold a society-wide intervention to stop us all from being disgusting pigs who jam frosting down our throats in a sad attempt to fill the empty void in our souls. But probably we are too far gone to be saved. You see, on the surface, cupcakes may be simple food items, but if you look deeper, cupcakes are actually a sign that our society is being destroyed by the internet. Whoa, curveball! Psychotherapist Paul Hokemeyer, who's also been on Dr. Oz (what a coinkydink!), explains:

The popularity of cupcakes directly tracks the rise in cultural narcissism that has resulted from the Internet's impact on our individual and cultural psyche. … Through cupcakes, seemingly innocent little ‘treats,' we can project fantasies of who and what we desire to be. Instead of connecting us to others, however, cupcakes keep us separate and add to our sense of isolation.

Just like the internet, which allows us to ignore real people and pretend to be someone we're not, kind of. No, that makes total sense, actually, because cupcakes are almost never consumed at social occasions like, say, birthday parties or office functions… But it's not just that cupcakes drive us away from each other, it's that they're filling us up with crap. Here's the lovely Hokemeyer again:

[C]upcakes evidence the narcissism born of the Internet by feeding us in shallow and un-nutritious ways. Similar to the way we cruise the Internet looking for bite-size and delicious bits of information, cupcakes enable us to cruise the sugary world of self-indulgence.

God, who knew there was such a connection between cupcakes and the internet? Also, why have we never realized that a humble mix of flour, sugar, and butter is slowly causing our society to crumble into a pile of totally delicious crumbs?

Wait a second. Maybe it's not as bad as all that. Maybe cupcakes aren't pure evil. San Francisco psychotherapist Brooke Miller, who apparently is blissfully unconnected to the Dr. Mehmet Oz Terror Machine, says that cupcakes are wonderful because they represent the way we want to be:

With so much stimulation and expectation—material wealth, keeping up with the Joneses, Hollywood and our own parents' expectations of us—many people turn to food. . . to manage the emotion that comes up with living a life they assume is under par. In an interesting and delicious way, cupcakes are a sweet example of what it looks like to be good enough exactly the way you are. They keep us "boundaried" and feeling contained, like we don't need to do, eat or prove anything more than what is unwrapped in this little wrapper of joy and sugar.

Wow. Somebody has a bit too much of a sugar high. Maybe we should skip eating the cupcakes and instead all get giant pools shaped like cupcake wrappers and fill them with frosting. Then we can get in and soak up the joy of being "boundaried" and "good enough." Good Lord.

Finally, there is one other explanation for why we have developed such a special relationship with cupcakes, which, curiously, none of the experts happened upon: They are portable, they are pretty, they are made out of cake, and they are delicious. It makes sense, but no, that cannot possibly be it. There is just no way a love of dessert could be so simple.

The psychology of cupcakes [Washington Post]

Illustration by Jim Cooke

School District Celebrates Black History Month With Boys-Only Movie Day [Education]

Anna North — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:45:00 EST

To celebrate Black History Month, the Dallas school district decided to take its fifth-graders to a screening of the movie Red Tails. The male ones, that is. Because girls can't be fighter pilots, or even learn about them, obviously.

Yes, according to the Dallas News, the district sent 5,700 boys and zero girls to see the movie, which tells the story of all-black World War II squadron the Tuskegee Airmen. The movie was apparently supposed to fit into the fifth-graders' unit on WWII, and lessons before and after were tailored to the film. Girls stayed at school but did have the option to watch Akeelah and the Bee, a perfectly nice movie that has nothing to do with World War II. According to district spokesman Jon Dahlander, the girls didn't get to see Cuba Gooding Jr. and company fight Nazis because "there is only so much available space at the movie theater, so the decision was made for boys to attend the movie."

True, there probably wasn't enough space in a single movie theater for all the fifth-graders in the entire district, but couldn't the kids have gone to the movie in shifts? Or signed up for the movie based on whether or not they were interested? Simply assuming that Red Tails is Not For Girls is especially odd given that our military includes an increasing number of women — like Shawna Rochelle Kimbrell, the Air Force's first black female fighter pilot. Also, it's not like girls are never interested in flying — witness Kimberly Anyadike, who at 15 became the youngest black female pilot to fly across the US. Her safety pilot on that trip was a former Tuskegee Airman, and over the course of her trip she met over 50 members of that famous squadron. So it seems like maybe young girls might appreciate learning about Tuskegee Airmen after all. It also seems like an odd choice to celebrate a month that's supposed to be about equality with a large-scale act of exclusion.

Dallas ISD fifth grade boys are seeing Red Tails right now — but girls were excluded [Dallas News]

America-Loving Lawmaker Wants to Change Name of Gulf of Mexico [Patriotism]

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:30:00 EST

Because the state of Mississippi has not been embarrassed enough by the shenanigans of its lawmakers, one of the Jackson's finest has introduced a bill to the state legislature that would change the name of the Gulf of Mexico... to the Gulf of America. I bet he also drives a truck that shoots flames from its tailpipe.

Democratic Representative Stephen Holland's House Bill 150 reads, "For all official purposes within the State of Mississippi, the body of water that is located directly south of Hancock, Harrison and Jackson Counties shall be known as the 'Gulf of America.'" Well, that's pretty straightforward.

Why Holland thought this was a good idea remains a mystery. He's been incommunicado since the bill's introduction, and it's difficult to see what changing the name of a body of water would do to help anything. Is he resentful of Mexico because of a bad travel experience? Is he a xenophobe? Or is he propped up by British Petroleum, who could feasibly benefit from legislation because it could exempt them from completing their cleanup job? Who knows?

I say, let's go one step further and call it "Gulf of the Yoo-Nighted-Motherfucking States of the Stars and Stripes Forever Amen." But will that fit on an elementary school map?

Call it 'Gulf of America,' Not 'Gulf of Mexico,' Mississippi Lawmaker Says [NPR]

Downton Abbey's O'Brien Is a Total Babe [Downton Abbey]

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:15:00 EST

Siobhan Finneran, the actress who plays the Countess' maid on Downton Abbey, showed up to Britain's National Television Awards in London looking super hot in a tight red dress, almost unrecognizable from her dour character O'Brien.

Last week, Us had a spread of what Downton's other ladies look like when out of their period garb and in modern makeup. Take a look at Lady Mary, Lady Sybil and Anna.

'Downton Abbey's' O'Brien is a hottie! [The Clicker]

Is Your Doctor a Big Fat Liar? [Doctors]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:00:00 EST

We like to think that doctors are somehow superior to the rest of us. After all, doctor knows best, right? We want to believe that they are wiser, more skilled, more honest than we are—except a new survey finds that, in fact, they're not always as honest as you might think.

Researchers at Harvard Medical School surveyed almost 1,900 physicians from many different specialties. They were asked to rate their agreement with the principles outlined in the Charter on Medical Professionalism. While you might, in an ideal world, hope that all doctors agreed strongly with all the codes of conduct, that's not what the researchers found.

When it came to telling the truth, a majority of doctors agreed that physicians should "never tell a patient something that is not true," but about 17 percent did not completely agree. Eleven percent of doctors said they actually had told a patient something that wasn't true in the past year. Of course, it's hard to condemn this across the board without knowing what these lies involved—and this research didn't focus on that. So there's no way to gauge why these doctors decided to lie.

One very common form of doctor deception is spinning a patient's prognosis to be more favorable than it actually is. This survey found that 55 percent of doctors had done that in the last year. This seems more excusable, somehow, than outright lying because it involves the tricky business of giving or taking away hope, which can be a vital ingredient in a patient's recovery.

There is also the touchy topic of disclosing errors made during treatment. The survey found that 34 percent of doctors did not "completely agree" that they "should disclose all significant medical errors to affected patients." About 20 percent of the physicians said they had not "fully disclosed a mistake to a patient because they were afraid of being sued." That's not good, especially since it's been shown that filling patients in on errors in an upfront matter and apologizing right off the bat can actually reduce the likelihood that a lawsuit will be brought.

For the most part, thank God, it doesn't seem like most doctors are sneaky and trying to mislead you. Rather, it's that they're forced to navigate incredibly complicated scenarios all day long, and they sometimes miscalculate the right approach or they end up saying something the turns out not to be true. Can you really blame them? We all make mistakes at our job, and we don't always correct them in the most honest way possible. Can we expect more from doctors? I guess it depends on what's at stake in a given scenario. The researchers say they don't know the effect of these untruths, but they speculate they might make patients, "less able to make health care decisions that reflect their values and goals." And indeed, especially in the case of delivering an honest and accurate prognosis, that can make a big difference in how people choose to be treated.

Beyond making judgment calls during treatment, there are some other behaviors the survey uncovered which are pretty disturbing. First, 28 percent of doctors said they'd "intentionally or unintentionally revealed to an unauthorized person health information about one of [their] patients." What's up with that, doc? Not cool. Second, 35 percent of doctors didn't agree that they should "disclose financial relationships with drug and device companies to their patients." That, of anything, seems the most disturbing and nefarious because it can affect treatment options in ways patients might not even think to ask about.

If you don't like the idea of your doctor telling little white lies—or taking money from a pharmaceutical company behind your back!—you can do two things. One, you can try to go to women and minority doctors, because the survey found they were more likely to favor openness and honesty than white, male doctors were. The researchers speculate that this is because their minority status in the world of doctors means they feel more compelled to strictly adhere to professional codes of conduct. Of course, that's certainly not a foolproof method for finding an honest doctor. So the very best thing you can do is to be proactive about asking questions of whatever doctor you're seeing and not just assuming that whatever he or she says is a pure truth delivered straight from the mouth of a medicine God.

1 in 10 Doctors Admit Lying in the Past Year [LiveScience]

Image via Tyler Olson/Shutterstock.

Misguided Idiot in Black Face Asks BYU Students About Black History [Video]

Madeleine Davies — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:45:00 EST

What a bunch of cool kids! Does this video make you want to enroll at Brigham Young University and do college all over again just so you can be friends with a bunch of fun ignorant racists? Race you to the registrar!

How to Act at Someone Else's Church [Social Minefield]

Anna North — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:30:00 EST

Back in December, we offered some tips on going to a holiday celebration of another religion. But religious services of various kinds go on all year, and different rules apply when you're in church than when you're at a Hanukkah party. Herewith, some advice on going to someone's place of worship without making an ass of yourself.

Do your homework.

Ah, this old tip again. But seriously, doing your homework is crucial before you take part in something that's sacred for other people. I talked to Wendy Cadge, associate professor of sociology at Brandeis and author of Heartwood: The First Generation of Theravada Buddhism in America, who advises that if the place of worship you'll be attending has a website, you should check it out beforehand. Buddhist services in America can vary a lot depending on what kind of facility conducts them, and taking a look at the website can help you determine that. You could also talk with a clergyperson or other official — Zahra Suratwala, President/CEO of Zahra Ink, Incorporated and coauthor of I Speak for Myself: American Women on Being Muslim, says that before attending a Muslim ceremony, you might consider "a meeting [...] with the imam or leader of the mosque they plan to visit, so that he can fill you in on what to expect and what is expected of you."

You might also seek out some relevant reading material. Mary Boys, author of Christians & Jews in Dialogue: Learning in the Presence of the Other, recommends Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott or Tevye's Grandchildren: Rediscovering a Jewish Identity by Eleanor Mallet. Several people I talked to also mentioned How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, which has advice on going to services of a variety of faiths.

Dress the part.

Different religions (and different denominations) have different dress codes, and it's a good idea to learn what's expected of you, clothes-wise, before you show up. Suratwala says, "in most mosques, the dress code is on the spectrum from modest to very covered up. Thus although a visitor is not expected to dress exactly like the members of the mosque, they should take some measures to be dressed modestly." For Buddhist services, the expectations are a little different — Cadge says visitors should always wear "nice socks," because they'll be expected to take off their shoes.

Go with a friend who knows the territory.

You may be planning to attend a service of another religion precisely to support a friend — say, at their wedding or their daughter's bat mitzvah. But if you're simply curious about another tradition, consider attending services with somebody who knows the drill. Says Boys,

If possible, go with someone who is knowledgeable and who can act as a guide. This is all the more important if you are attending a worship service beyond the boundaries of your own tradition (e.g., a Christian attending a service at a synagogue). Or introduce yourself to an usher or staff member.

If you're at, say, a friend's Catholic wedding, consider sitting near somebody who's familiar with the practices at hand. That way, you can ...

Watch and learn.

Cadge told me that she routinely asks her students to visit the services of two religious traditions other than their own, and that her most important advice for them is to sit quietly and watch first. Then, if they have questions, they can ask afterward. Sometimes just watching what other people do can be the best lesson — it can help you understand customs and practices that might be hard to explain beforehand.

Be open.

This might be obvious, but it's worth saying: don't go into someone else's service in a judgmental frame of mind. Boys advises that you "aim to understand rather than judge, particularly if the style of the service is very different from what you are accustomed to" and "avoid generalizing about a particular tradition on the basis of a limited experience; even in churches that have a set liturgy, services may vary widely in terms of music, tone, and involvement." Also, you'll get more out of the experience if you really immerse yourself — she says, "Be fully present — worship speaks to the whole person, not simply to the mind." Basically, walk into the experience with information but without preconceptions, and be prepared to learn.

It's not that complicated.

Going to an unfamiliar type of service may seem intimidating — after all, this is a part of many people's lives that they take very seriously. But really, it's not too hard to just behave respectfully. Cadge says that as long as you're a polite person, you should be totally fine. And Suratwala adds, "Common sense and common courtesy in this, as in most situations, will get you very far!"

I Speak For Myself [Official Site]
Heartwood: The First Generation of Theravada Buddhism in America [Amazon]
I Speak for Myself: American Women on Being Muslim [Amazon]
Christians & Jews in Dialogue: Learning in the Presence of the Other [Amazon]

Image via Nagel Photography/Shutterstock.com

Top Modeling Agency Says 14 Is Not Too Young For The Runway [Rag Trade]

Jenna Sauers — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:10:00 EST

Fashion week isn't just about pretty dresses and champagne: it's also about long hours for the people who work it. And some of those workers are children. The Times is reporting on the Council of Fashion Designers of America's efforts to ensure all models who work New York Fashion Week are over 16 years old. Last season, at least two agencies — Ford and Women — flouted those guidelines, and models aged 14 and 15 walked for a number of top designers, including Marc Jacobs, Tory Burch, BCBG, and DKNY. Ford, despite pledging to honor the CFDA age guidelines, has apparently not changed its practices this season:

Ford Models includes the hot newcomer Ondria Hardin in its show package, the portfolio of models it presents to casting agents, even though Ms. Hardin was reported to be 14 when she appeared in the Marc Jacobs show last season. Paul Rowland, her agent, did not respond to messages regarding Ms. Hardin and another reportedly underage model currently promoted by Ford.

[NYTimes]
Ford released a statement in response to the Times article, explaining that when it pledged not to put forward girls under 16 for runway work (in the CFDA's pre-fashion week open letter, published just two weeks ago) the agency didn't have any intention of keeping its word.

We take the age and maturity of our models very seriously. We work on a case-by-case basis alongside a prospective model's parents to make a determination as to whether they are ready to walk the runway. In most cases, the answer is no. But a select few demonstrate the know-how and maturity that are necessary to work earlier than they otherwise would.

Among the underaged models Ford represents are Ondria Hardin, who is 14 (turning 15 this summer) and Kremi Otashliyska. Hardin is pictured above in last fall's Prada campaign, which she shot aged 13. [On The Runway]
Meanwhile, Karlie Kloss — who started her international runway career at the September, 2007, Calvin Klein show, one month after her 15th birthday — is rumored to have canceled all her NYFW bookings for a "big opportunity." [Fashionista]

We would totally carry a minaudière that looked like a pill. In fact, we are currently trying to imagine how to DIY one. [TLF]

Inge Jacobsen, the Danish-Irish artist who came to world attention for her cross-stitch covers of fashion magazines, did an arresting cross-stitch ad campaign for jeweler Georg Jensen. Freja Beha Erichsen stars. The four cross-stitch works took Jacobsen and 19 assistants over 2,000 hours to complete. [Vogue]

Yesterday, Rachel Comey showed a fall collection that included some cute knit tops, styled with clear plastic belts, a print that looked a lot like a Surrealist photo-collage, and a killer orange funnel-necked coat. Also, apparently Parker Posey sat in the front row and we didn't even recognize her. Boo us.

A football player who just won a Super Bowl but nonetheless seems to be a big baby said that Gisele Bündchen "just needs to continue being cute and shut up." Bündchen was captured on video blaming some of her husband Tom Brady's teammates for the Patriots' Super Bowl loss. [NYPost]
Kylie Bisutti, who won a Victoria's Secret modeling competition two years ago, has decided to retire from lingerie modeling because she feels it conflicts with her Christian faith. "My body should only be for my husband and it's just a sacred thing," she explains. [Radar]
Patti Stanger, who walked in the Heart Truth Red Dress show yesterday (almost as if she were a real celebrity!) says she'd set up Marc Jacobs and Tom Ford, "because they both look straight." [The Cut]
Paulina Porizkova says she is working on a "sort of memoir-ish" book. [The Cut]
Apparently, people are making counterfeit Sex and the City perfume by the boatload. [WWD]
Kanye West had lunch with Philip Green, the Topshop founder. Naturally, this has spurred rumors that Kanye might do a collaboration with the retailer. [Mirror]
We wish Alexsandro Palombo, the fashion illustrator behind the excellent Humor Chic blog, a speedy recovery from the cancer he is currently battling. [WWD]
Tavi Gevinson let New York capture her on video, packing for NYFW. [The Cut]
Pamela Skaist-Levy and Gela Nash-Taylor, who cofounded Juicy Couture, dip-dyed their hair turquoise to mark the launch of their new fashion brand, Skaist-Taylor. [WWD]
Adam Levine and Anne Vyalitsyna might have broken up. [E!]
Women's Wear Daily has a good round-up of the designer Facebook chats, show livestreams, Twitter thingamajigs, and social-media gewgaws going on this NYFW. [WWD]
Y-3, Yohji Yamamoto's street wear collection for Adidas, is livestreaming its NYFW show on Facebook. [Facebook]
Diane von Furstenberg says she only got two hours of sleep the other night. It's fashion week. [The Cut]
There's a new show at the Museum at FIT celebrating the 50th anniversary of the CFDA. [WWD]
Barneys is still struggling financially due to its heavy debt. The retailer has enlisted a law firm to help it renegotiate a $200 million revolving credit loan that's coming due in September. [WWD]
The fourth quarter was good to Hugo Boss: sales rose 18% year-on-year, and profits increased to $130.9 million. Full-year profits for 2011 were up 34%. [WWD]

The Artist's Jean Dujardin To Be Cast as Villain in Every Movie [Comedy]

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:50:00 EST

Just what you didn't know that your day needed: a video that combines your recommended daily allowance of your new boyfriend—The Artist's dreamy Jean Dujardin, guns, Muppets, and a hearty helping of laughter. Drop everything that isn't a baby and watch this.

Jean Dujardin's Villain Auditions from Jean Dujardin

The Funny or Die clip envisions the French actor following in the footsteps of other European actors who have attempted to segue their foreign stardom into stateside fame by trying to be cast as the villain in a big-budget American film. But Dujardin's overzealous agents have lined up auditions for him to play the bad guy in every upcoming film. Hilarity ensues.

Which one of the upcoming Dujardin films would you actually see? Shamefully, like Sarah Palin, my answer is "all of them." Even Transformers 4.

[Funny or Die]

For Low-Income Couples, Moving Out Doesn't Always Mean Breaking Up [Families]

Anna North — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:30:00 EST

A new study shows that for low-income couples, moving into separate homes doesn't necessarily mean a breakup. And staying together — even if they don't live together — can be good for the kids.

ScienceDaily reports that study author Claire Kamp Dush and her team looked at 1,624 unmarried moms who were living with their babies' dads, and followed these families for five years. Sixty-four percent of the couples quit living together within that five-year period. But of those, only 75% actually ended their romantic relationships. Black moms were more likely than white or Hispanic ones to keep a relationship going after moving out. Couples that lasted post-move also tended to share relationship "investments" — like a joint checking account or credit card — and to have low levels of "family chaos," like childcare difficulties or repeated moves. Says Kamp Dush,

When people have studied the end of cohabiting relationships, they have generally assumed that it would end in marriage or end in a permanent breakup. But there seems to be a significant proportion who no longer live together, but aren't completely giving up on being a couple.

Conservatives are likely to decry this news as yet more evidence that the American Family is going to shit. But parents staying together, even in separate households, could actually be good news for their kids. This shouldn't be a big surprise — Kamp Dush explains, "Children whose parents are still romantically involved are going to see the parent they don't live with more often, and that's generally good. Research has shown that father involvement is beneficial for children, and that involvement is one benefit we could see if couples continue a romantic relationship even after they stop living together."

The study didn't focus on couples' own feelings about their relationships, so it's not clear whether they were satisfied with apart-but-together relationships. And obviously if these are just cases of one partner being unwilling to commit, that can't be great fun for the other one. It's also true that if parents live apart, it may be harder for them to share childcare expenses — and certainly tougher to share the financial burdens of rent and household maintenance. That said, there are plenty of reasons couples might choose to live apart, even if they have kids. And for those who've made this choice, it makes sense to help them support the family they've made, rather than trying to shove them back into the same house. Kamp Dush points out that job flexibility and good childcare can help minimize the problems that break couples apart: "If a mother can't change her work schedule to deal with sick kids or other issues, it just adds to the chaos of their family life. And more chaos means it is less likely they will stay romantically connected to their partners." Bottom line: we can help kids by reducing the upheaval in their parents' lives, whether they live together or not.

Some Formerly Cohabiting Couples With Children Keep Romantic Relationship [ScienceDaily]

Image via docent/Shutterstock.com

Ladymags Are Dying, But Domino Is Returning From the Grave [Mag Hag]

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:10:00 EST

If you were one of the people who shed a shimmery Hollywood Regency tear when Domino folded in 2009, come on, get happy: A special "Quick Fixes" edition of Domino will show up on newsstands in April.

Be advised that this Quick Fixes project is not a new issue of Domino magazine. The publication will mix new stories with previously published content. As in, old. And instead of monthly, the mag will come out once this spring and then again in the fall. But Condé Nast Editorial Director Thomas J. Wallace tells the Los Angeles Times: "We love that there is still that Domino lover out there… The best thing about the magazine will remain the same — all the great ways that you can make a big difference without a huge amount of time and effort."

Sales of traditional ladymags — with a posed, airbrushed celebrity in professional hair and makeup and wearing a $10K designer gown — are down, but Domino is different: A shelter magazine that promotes little changes and relatively affordable solutions. While the ladymags shill low self-esteem and ridiculous Jimmy Choo shoes that cost more than three months rent (and you have little occasion to wear), Domino offers cozy rooms, colorful spaces, an aura of happy nesting. As we live through or are maybe kind of sort of getting over the recession, the idea of having a colorful, joyful, bright place to live seems more important than yet another Gwyneth Paltrow profile.

Domino magazine plans return to newsstands in April [LA Times]

Earlier:
Nobody Is Buying Ladymags These Days
Now That Domino Has Fallen, Will A New Mag Rise?

Lana Del Rey Meets with Fans, Reminds Us She Is Probably a Very Nice Human Being [Video]

Madeleine Davies — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:55:00 EST

Here's a video of Lana Del Rey meeting with some very emotional fans after a sound check at Amoeba Records in Hollywood. Let's give credit where credit's due— Del Rey seems very nice here! And she probably made that young man's day. Point LDR.

See Lana Del Rey Pose with Weeping Fans [Vulture]

Ballet Dancer Fired for Daring to Acknowledge Pressure to be Thin [Video]

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:35:00 EST

A soloist at an Italian ballet company has found herself jobless after telling a British newspaper that her company pressures its dancers to be thin. The dancer says that the La Scala's practices have led to an epidemic of eating disorders and fertility problems within the company, and the company claims that's simply not true, and that statements like that damage the reputation of the company and of the art of ballet. Uh, doesn't everyone already know that dancers sometimes have fucked up body images?

Mariafrancesca Garritano was fired last month after telling a British newspaper that her fellow dancers in the La Scala Ballet were suffering from an "anorexia emergency," and that one in five dancers in the company was suffering from the eating disorder. The former prima ballerina also told The Observer that borderline abusive tactics were used by the company to pressure dancers to remain thin, and that after being called "mozzarella" and "Chinese dumpling" in front of an entire class of students, her weight dropped to under 100 pounds. In the ensuing firestorm of defensive debunking, her fellow dancers banded together to insist that there was no eating disorder problem said they felt "flabbergasted and embittered" by Garritano's claims.

The company fired the 33-year-old dancer because of the interview, saying her words were false and damaged the reputation. Besides, insisted a La Scala spokesperson, teaching methods have changed in the last 15 years. Young ballet dancers are fine now!

While her company and fellow dancers say Garritano's claims are false, other ballerinas have backed her claims. A former La Scala dancer who retired in 2010 told The Guardian,

One in five of the ballerinas of that generation from that school had eating disorders, and continue to experience serious consequences," said Michele Villanova, 47, a senior dancer at La Scala between 1986 and 2010. "I saw it in the mood swings, when people would go into deep depression after gaining weight. It is absurd the La Scala fired her before carrying out an in-depth investigation.

Ballet's eating disorder problem has been hiding in plain sight for years, and La Scala's move to fire a dancer who points out the obvious isn't doing anything to address the problem. Firing Mariafrancesca Garritano is simply drawing more attention to La Scala's wholesale denial that anything's wrong in the first place.

La Scala fires ballerina after comments about pressure to be thin [NYT]

Fashion Week Begins, and Lindsay Lohan Is a Stain on the Red Carpet [Good/bad/ugly]

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:15:00 EST

Because it was kicking off New York's Fall Fashion Week, the red carpet of the annual amfAR Gala—a black-tie event that raised money for AIDS research, prevention and education—was at once elegant and fashion-forward. Well, for the most part. Lindsay Lohan showed up.

French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld is going to be the best-dressed grandma in the world. (Leather gloves!) Getting dressed up when you're pregnant can be a major bummer, so her daughter Julia Restoin-Roitfeld (right), at about six-months along, added some flair to her simple dress with a headpiece.

I know it's very Carrie Bradshaw, but I love the dichotomy of SJP's tough-girl leather and ladylike gloves and pink skirt. Additionally, the matching bracelets is a nice—albeit very expensive—DIY touch to jazz up her gloves.

The art deco design of Anja Rubik's dress is composed entirely of fringe, making it the most amazing look of the night.

Oh Lord. Remember when Lindsay Lohan's hair was orange and skin was white and not the other way around? Why is she so dead-set on defying her Irish coloring? All these "nude" tones are horrific and make her look so much older. Case-in-point: Her beige nail polish makes her freckles look like liver spots.

Julianne Moore (right) knows how to play to her strengths as a pale redhead. She looks like Veronica Lake. Models Erin Heatherton and Eniko Mihalik also did well with refined simplicity.

Here's the thing about Jessica White's look: You should really only have one "thing." You know? Like, if you're gonna go off the beaten path, you need to actually pick a direction, otherwise you're all over the place. See, I don't hate her gold turban. But it looks a lot better when you don't factor in the dual-length bottom portion of her gown.

You always get a handful of chicks who wear pants to these types of events. Liya Kebede went futuristic, while Linda Evangelista was stuck in the '90s in her "Express Yourself" tux and exposed bra. Janelle Monae looks just about perfect from the waist up with that cute hair and jacket, but shit gets weird down around her ankles.

Fur (whether faux or real, it's difficult to tell) was a trend, as worn by a pregnant Molly Sims, Eva Cavalli, and Michelle Harper.

The detailing of Nicky Hilton's dress—with the lace at the top and the feathers at the bottom—is so pretty that she looks like a twee, cloth-covered end-table that would be sold in Anthropologie.

What's the deal with the orange spoiler on the back of Padma Lakshmi's otherwise clean gown?

I know in my head that I'm not supposed to like the shaplessness of Elisa Sednaoui's gown or the cheapness of Lily Donaldson's bird appliques, but both looks are just so mellow that the laziness in my soul can't resist them.

Hair twins Rose Byrne and Alexa Chung along with Rachel Roy all went a little more casual.

Cindy Crawford, Joan Smalls, and Chloe Bello all worked clav and cleav with Chloe's emerald pretty princess dress being the winner here.

The shaded detail on Natalia Andrade dress lends a multifaceted appearance like that of a Cheeto. Getty images claims the lady in the middle is Meshell Ndegeocello, which may not be true (Meshell has tattoos, for starters). Whoever the hell she is, she looks like she walked through a storm of jizz tissues. Leighton Meester put her merkin on wrong.

Denise Rich is about one tiny umbrella'd drink away from embarrassing herself in front of the cabana boy. The good choices of Allegra Carpenter's bold print and over-sized clutch are actually completely eradicated by that metallic jacket. Karolina Kurkova should hang her stylist with those shoelaces.

I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Roberto Cavalli did this to poor Jennifer Hudson, as he's always trying to make women look like sexual safaris. Heidi Klum has fallen victim to the yucky cutout feature. And there's really nothing particularly wrong with Elizabeth Hurley's gown except that she totally look like a Real Housewife of Orange County, and those are the broke ones.

Teens Are Less Harlot-y Than Ever [Teen Pregnancy]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:55:00 EST

Conservatives may believe that this country is full of wanton teens running around getting knocked up for fun, but they will be pleased to know that is actually not the case, According to new data from the Guttmacher Institute, teen pregnancies are on the downswing. In 2008, the year the most recent data is from, 7 percent of teen girls (ages 15 to 19) in the U.S. were pregnant. That's down from the high of 11 percent in 1990, and it's the lowest rate in nearly 40 years. As for abortions, about 1.8 percent of teens had one in 2008. That is down from more than 4 percent in 1988.

It's great that the numbers are down overall, but there's still a big gap between the rates for white teens and those for black and hispanic teens. According to the report, "the abortion rate among black teenagers was four times the rate for non-Hispanic whites, while the rate among Hispanic teenagers was twice the rate for non-Hispanic white teenagers." As Kathryn Kost, a Guttmacher researcher, explains, "If you think of these rates as lines on a graph, they are all going down, but the distance between them is pretty much unchanged."

While this overall decline is definitely a sign that contraception education and marketing are helping, there are still plenty of problems to address—chief among them are increasing health insurance coverage and reducing the cost of contraception to make it more available to everyone who wants it. But for now, at least there is some proof that we are on the right track (well, one side of the political spectrum is, anyway), and we're not living in a giant episode of Teen Mom.

Teen Pregnancies Hit New Low, But Disparities Remain [WNYC]

Image via Stacie Stauff Smith Photography/Shutterstock.

Classy New York Post Prosecutes Kelly Rape Accuser [Greg Kelly]

Erin Gloria Ryan — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:35:00 EST

Every once in awhile, a newspaper front page comes along that makes you want to punch the nearest inanimate object until you break the small bones in your hand. Well, get out the gauze and your insurance card, ladies: today's New York Post cover features the face of an alleged rape victim, an attack on her character, and — as a bonus! — the word "rape" in sarcastic quotation marks.

Yesterday, prosecutors announced that they were dropping charges against New York Police Chief Ray Kelly's son Greg after the woman who accused him of rape said she didn't remember having sex. According to the complaint, Kelly and the accuser met at a bar, had several drinks, and then returned to her office, where Kelly raped her. But according to prosecutors who reviewed the evidence in the case, the incident didn't fit the definition of rape under New York law and charges were dropped.

As you may have predicted, someone at the Post has some unpaid parking tickets they need to get out of, and so the article accompanying the cover story essentially gives the Police Chief's son's taint a tongue bath. After thoroughly trashing Kelly's accuser, they touted Kelly's return to work as a news reporter on a local TV station— "Kelly, 43, met with Fox 5 brass at the station's Upper East Side studio yesterday and confirmed his joyful return to the airwaves." People were celebrating in the streets! The fatted calf was killed! The King allowed the peasants to lie down their pitchforks and other roughly hewn farming implements and dance in the town square!

And while everyone in the Post's imaginary world is doing that, if you don't mind, I'll be over here making a hole in the drywall with my face.

Kelly accuser's memory of 'rape' but not sex killed her case [NYPost]