Jezebel

Oprah : 25 Years Of Screaming Celebrities' Names [Clips]

Tracie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:00:00 -0500

Television will never be the same after Oprah goes off the air in 2011. If we had a "Favorite Things" list about O, in the top spot would be the way the talk-show host introduces celebrity guests. Mashup at left.

Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

Her Number One Fan [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:50:00 -0500

[London, November 20. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Miley's Fatal Bus Crash; Vatican Official Condemns Twilight 's "Deviant Message" [Dirt Bag (After Dark)]

Margaret — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:40:00 -0500

Last night, one of the four buses in Miley Cyrus' tour caravan swerved off the road in Virginia and crashed. The driver was killed, and one other person was injured.

It's unclear if the driver died in the crash, or if he died at the wheel, causing the accident. Miley's personal bus was not involved in the accident and the concert they were heading to in North Carolina is still on. [TMZ, TMZ]
This statement was posted on Miley Cyrus' website: "We are deeply saddened by the loss of Bill 'Uncle Bill' Douglas... Members of our tour are like members of our family. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family in the midst of this tragedy. He will truly be missed." [People]
A judge threw out a case filed by an Asian woman named Lucie Kim on behalf of Asian-Americans in L.A. against Miley Cyrus for making squinty eyes in a photo. [TMZ]
Michael Lohan claims he has a contract that could be the "smoking gun" in TLC's case against Jon Gosselin. Lohan says it's a contract between himself, Gosselin, Mike Heller (the son of Jon's lawyer) and Hailey Glassman, which led to Jon being paid for outside appearances that violated his TLC deal, even though it's unsigned. [Radar Online]
The good news: The final episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 will air on Monday. Jon and Kate will take the kids on separate outings, and "individually, Jon and Kate reflect on what the past has meant and what the future might hold." The bad news: A TLC spokeswoman says, "We are focusing on the launch of Kate's new series in early spring." [Us]
In yet another creditor's claim, against Michael Jackson's estate, a company called Video & Audio Center said it is owed $128,482 for installing the TV system at Neverland Ranch. [TMZ]
Joel Madden says Nicole Richie is home resting after being hospitalized with pneumonia. "So I stepped off the plane after a month out of the country, and basically went straight to the hospital for the week," he wrote on his website. "But don't worry all is well and we are home with no problems." [People]
Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib has been sentenced to 45 days in jail and 36 months probation after pleading guilty to leaving the scene of an accident. [TMZ]
Flight attendant Lisa Wilson is suing Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony because she claims their "personal protection dog" "growled and lunged at her," and "headbutted her leg and she fell and seriously injured her back." Wilson claims the dog was "obviously dangerous" and should have been sent to counseling. [Us]
Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz's son Bronx Mowgli turned one today. Ashlee Tweeted yesterday: "BX's 1st bday tomorrow!" she wrote. "My angel is going to be a year!! The greatest year of my life." Pete Tweeted: "Happy birthday bx. you dont have twitter and cant read this. Thanks to all my friends that recorded lullabies. cant believe its been a year." [Us]
Lily Allen, who urged the British government to crack down on illegal file sharing, said in a radio interview, "If someone comes up with a burnt copy of my CD and offers it to you for £4 I haven't a problem with that as long as the person buying it places some kind of value on my music." [Daily Express]
Carrie Prejean's brother Billy Arnone talked to Radar Online about her sex tapes and said, "If they were put in front of me I'd probably watch it." [Radar Online]
In other sketchy family member news, Paris Hilton's mom revealed that her daughter wanted to get breast implants. Kathy Hilton said, "At one point [Paris] was like 'I wanna do this and that, I'm so flat!' but then all of a sudden she was like 'I love it. I don't care. I love it.' I'm proud of that; I think that's really nice." [Daily Express]
Wesley Snipes' is appealing an "unreasonable" three-year prison sentence. He was convicted last year of failing to file his income tax returns for three years, but his lawyers argued today that he should have been granted a hearing to decide whether the trial should have been in New York instead of Florida. During the trial, Snipes explained that he's an idealistic artist "unschooled in the science of law and finance." [AP]
The IRS issued a tax lien against Joe Francis for about $34,000,000 and now he's asking a judge to order the agency to unfreeze his money because he's on the brink of bankruptcy. [TMZ]
Roman Polanski's lawyer says his client won't agree voluntarily to being extradited to the U.S. "We also maintain that Mr Polanski did not face a fair trial in Los Angeles," he said. "For all these reasons, among others, his position remains unchanged: he will not accept being extradited to the United States." [Reuters]
On a radio show Rihanna said of her relationship with Chris Brown, "There are a lot of ... places that we've been to together, music, different things that come up that are reminders of your ex... When [his music] comes on the radio, I don't ... turn it off. I like his music... I've gotten over it, but there are definitely constant reminders ... songs that were our favorite songs, or hit songs." [People]
Halle Berry, who has experienced domestic abuse herself, says of Rihanna, "Any time a woman frees herself from that kind of bondage and that kind of situation I'm proud." [Access Hollywood]
Ha. In this video from four yeas ago Taylor Lautner says, "My dad says I can't date until I'm 28, but I'll have to negotiate that one down a little." [People]
The Roman Catholic Church is bashing Twilight. A Vatican official said, "The theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that as ever is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element. It is once again that age-old trick or ideal formula of using extremes to make an impact at the box office. This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern." [Contact Music]
New Moon made $26.3 million during midnight showings at North American box offices last night, breaking the record set by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. [Reuters]
Susan Boyle said she was "shocked" when she lost America's Got Talent: "Sure, I mean, I am thrilled for Diversity; they deserved it. But I was working so hard, lost in the midst of all the excitement and yes, I felt the dream may be over after not picking up the winner's prize. Who would not?" [CBS News]
Dave Navarro says he's a fan of his ex-wife Carmen Electra's girl-on-girl strip/sex tape. [TMZ]
"You can't make music as a famous person," says John Mayer. "Famous people make really bad records – so I make music as a musician. I've read people say I was the shit, and I've read people say I am shit. I don't have to prove anything any more – all I have to do is play. Now my motivation is not so that people know my name, it's not so I can make money, it's not so I can meet girls – my motivation is to prove to people that you can buck the trend: that it's not an absolute that if you can be really successful, then you're gonna start sucking." [The Guardian]
Yesterday, Rex Lee, who plays Lloyd on Entourage said crew members "occasionally" make fun of his ethnicity and homosexuality on set. The show's creator Doug Ellin says he's "shocked and horrified" and "will be speaking to everybody before we start filming again in March. It's not something condoned or acceptable." [TMZ]
We can't handle any more Real Housewives drama, but if you want to know about the "infidelity, booze brawls, computer hacking," and physical threats" involved in new Orange County cast member Alexis Bellino's divorce read on: [Star]
Derek Hough says his sister Julianne Hough broke up with Chuck Wicks because, "She's 21 years old and her career is skyrocketing right now and it's tough to sustain a relationship, especially with somebody who's so much older than her." [People]
Ashley Jensen, who recently became a mother, said: "To be honest, I'm stumbling from day to day at the moment. Just getting to grips with feeding and not sleeping. It's all about routine, and it's very all-consuming. I had to feed him before I came out, which is why I was a little bit late, even though he wasn't really due a feed. And now I'm worried about whether my breasts are going to start lactating! You can't be away from him for too long. One thing it has given me is a real respect for womankind. Giving birth is amazing, and such a great leveller. It doesn't matter who you are – whether you're Mrs Beverly Hills with your Botox, or someone living in a caravan in Idaho. You both go through that." [The Independent]
"I think for me the most satisfying thing is going out with my first headlining tour and having every show sell out. That was something that I never dreamed would be so quick to happen. Putting Madison Square Garden on sale and having it be sold out in 59 seconds. Like I can't believe that. I'm still completely blown away by that." — Taylor Swift [CNN]
Eva Mendes says she was excited to work on Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, "Because Werner Herzog has been on my hit list for a while. I think he's a cinematic god and I think he's unparalleled. I think he's so prolific and he's such an iconoclast-you know, he's it. Working with him was a dream come true. I know that [Nicholas Cage] felt similarly. Obviously, I worked with Nic on Ghost Rider-a big popcorn movie-which is nothing like this. But I got to know Nic and the way he works and I really just like him as a person so I knew his personality and I thought, "Oh gosh, him and Werner Herzog together? They're going to kill it." [Maxim]
Gayle King onOprah Winfrey ending her show: "I think that Oprah always makes the best decision for herself. I really do. And I have a feeling she will come up with some things to do. She has a very full life … We don't need to worry about her filling her time, I promise you that! Life is good for her." [People]

Stick A Fork In It [Hi/goodbye]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:30:00 -0500

Superfudge! Otherwise known as the title of a Judy Blume book or, the fancy version of a popular supermarket candy given its due thanks to National Peanut Butter Fudge Day. Dig in - see you Monday. [Nibble]

Eli Roth Attempts Glitter Vampire Look [Tweet Beat]

Tracie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:20:00 -0500

Today in Tweet Beat, Eli Roth doesn't recommend glitter for men, Martha Stewart parties with Diddy, and Jon Favreau cuts his hair with a Flowbee.

Heavy Lifting [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:10:00 -0500

[Washington, D.C., November 20. Image via Getty]

WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 20: A Republican Senate aide carries a copy of the 20-pound health care reform bill into a news conference at the U.S. Capitol November 20, 2009 in Washington, DC. The Republican senators accused the Obama Administration of rationing health care after a panel of doctors announced that women should begin getting regular mammogram at age 50 instead of 40. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Speaks For Itself [Fashion Show]

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:00:00 -0500

You want pageantry? You want SEXXXY? At the Victoria's Secret fashion show, you'll get it, along with a touch of Lil' Abner, a jot of Xanadu, and a whole lotta weird - whether you want it or not.

"Mother Nature, she is very sexy, yes?"

"Have you ever heard the expression "kissed by a muse"? Well, that's what I am. I'm a muse."

"Woo-hoo! Col-lege! Yay! Higher Education! Studying stuff rules!"

"This way to Macbeth auditions?"

"Surprise! I'm not really a butterfly, it was a costume! It was me all along! Are you surprised?"

"I'm an allegory for the gold standard. Crossed with a gentleman beetle. Obviously."

Wait, was I not supposed to really cut myself in half? Oh."

Wanna go to the Dog-patch Sadie Hawkins Day dance?

"Seriously? You're sure this is what real elves wear?"

"Bring me my platinum-encrsuted dog, a martini straight-up and my house-boy. Now."

"Um, my balloon popped. Could you help me blow it up?"

[Images via Getty]

Sign Of The Cross [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:50:00 -0500

[Los Angeles, November 20. Image via WENN]

Inflight Mag Apologetic Over Holocaust Memorial Fashion Shoot [Fashion Shoah]

Irin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:40:00 -0500

EasyJet has apologized for a fashion shoot at the Berlin Holocaust Memorial that appeared in their inflight magazine. So much for all that academic handwringing about the aestheticization of the Holocaust.

The magazine didn't have permission to shoot at the Memorial, but apparently it wasn't hard to sneak by security. In its apology, first reported in Britain's The New Statesman, easyJet said,

"The magazine is produced by INK — an external publishing house, and easyJet were not aware of the images until they appeared in print. As a consequence we are now reviewing our relationship with the publisher and are withdrawing this month's issue from all flights."

"easyJet prides itself on bringing together a wide range of cultures and beliefs and is appalled by this insensitive and inconsiderate photo-shoot, the aim of which was to highlight some of Berlin's iconic landmarks and certainly no offence was meant."

No word on who the photographer and stylist on the shoot were. We called over to INK Publishing's Brooklyn offices asking for more info and were referred to their London headquarters. We'll update when we hear back.

easyJet Grounds In-Flight Magazine After Holocaust Gaffe [The New Statesman, via The Awl]

Martin Amis: My Book On Victims Of The Sexual Revolution Is Totally Feminist [Revolutionary Read]

Anna N. — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:30:00 -0500

Martin Amis says he's written "a very feminist book" based on his sister, who was "pathologically promiscuous" and "one of the most spectacular victims of the [sexual] revolution." He adds, "It would have needed the Taliban to protect her." [Guardian]

On Leaving Porn, Smiling. [Xxx]

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:20:00 -0500

Porn star Penny Flame is now Jennie Ketcham, a transition she's documenting:

Recently, Penny Flame, a well-known adult film star, quit porn to pursue an art career. She also writes a blog, Becoming Jennie, about her transition to a new life - with what SFGate's Violet Blue calls "a sex-positive stance on porn, women and self-defined sexuality. And most of all, a cool attitude of sexual responsibility." In this she's distinct from other ex-porn stars who, Ketcham feels, perpetuate the stereotypes and either present themselves as victims of the industry or still want to profit from being sex symbols. As she writes,

I hate the common exit strategy, hate that girls join the 'god squad' or feel ashamed of the choices they made but I understand it. I can see that it's much easier to say 'porn did this to me, or that' but at the end of the day, we are all responsible for the choices we make. I chose to be a porn star. Now I'm choosing not to be. It's the beautifully terrible thing about free will: we can do whatever we like but we must be held accountable for whatever we do. Just because I don't want to be a porn star today doesn't mean that I should feel ashamed to have been one seven months ago. It's something I did and I'm not afraid to say I did it, loved doing it, and just don't feel like it's what I need to do anymore. Shame and guilt are useless emotions. The only way I would feel ashamed is if I'd decided being a porn star isn't what's best for me and then continued doing it anyway.

To some ears, this may seem like a simplified - if pragmatic - attitude towards something that can't be separated from its moral and social implications. And there's an understandable ambivalence to some of Ketcham's writings. She feel she had become a

woman that exists for the sole purpose of others' enjoyment. I realized I have no identity as Jennie Ketcham and that I am incapable of developing sincere and intimate relationships. I don't blame this problem on being in pornography, it was something I've struggled with for a long time, but to continue as an adult performer would just perpetuate the issues. I quit because I wanted an identity outside of being a porn star. I wanted to be Jennie again.

Ketcham's point is well-taken, and her insistence on personal accountability is laudable. She's right that porn did not "cause" her issues. As she says, "the notion that my worth revolves around my sexuality is something I struggle with on a daily basis... In fact, that's a big reason of why I entered adult in the first place." And it's much healthier to say that she's proud of her career, that "I wouldn't be in the wonderful place I am today if it were not for where I'd been as a porn star, and Penny Flame" than to draw a curtain of shame over a significant portion of her life.

But, as a public voice - which is what she's becoming, in a new book as well as the blog - Ketcham's feels, in some ways, more conflicted than "porn-positive." She did a wide range of work - some woman-positive, but much of it of the sort Ariel Levy, for one, would condemn as harmful. As such, there's no reason her attitude should be doctrinaire, either; she had a good experience but the industry is not monolithic. Ketcham has a chance to say something important - and getting out of the industry, with sex-positive feelings of self-worth in tact, is already saying a lot - and we'll be reading.

Leaving Porn On Her Terms [SFGate]
Becoming Jennie

Up And At 'Em [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:10:00 -0500

[London, November 20. Image via Getty]

A performer drops herself into a bath of broken glass at the 'Erotica' show at the Olympia exhibition centre in west London, on November 20, 2009. The show runs from November 20 until November 22 and features merchandise and items from all aspects of the sex industry. AFP PHOTO/Leon Neal (Photo credit should read LEON NEAL/AFP/Getty Images)

Gabby Sidibe's Emotional Audition For Precious [Clips]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:00:00 -0500

Gabourey Sibide was on Oprah today, and brought with her some footage from when she auditioned for Precious director Lee Daniels. She nailed it, obviously.

An Apple A Day [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:50:00 -0500

[Vancouver, November 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Young, Rich People In D.C. Feel Guilty About Youth, Riches [Class Rage]

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:40:00 -0500

Anyone who's seen the masterpiece of documentary filmmaking Born Rich knows that with great wealth comes great tsuris: and especially in this economy! Oy, the guilt!

In a Washington Post piece titled "grappling with a wealth of guilt," we learn about the particular burdens of reluctant noblesse oblige, or at least the Adams-Morgan version thereof.

They are young people who have inherited or stand to inherit big money, and they are spending their post-college years living modestly and working to address the needs of the poor, hungry and politically disadvantaged. But the privilege they grew up with and the money coming their way nag at them in ways few people not in their position can fathom.

Now, it's easy to be snide about this sort of thing - dismiss it as a sort of earnest, modern-day Petit Trianon - which the article is quick to address. The meeting the author describes was, he says,

a rare chance for members of the Resource Generation, a nonprofit group whose 35-and-younger members devote themselves to philanthropic work for social justice, to talk about their guilt and their views on social inequalities without fear of eye-rolling from people who might view them as spoiled rich kids playing at helping the downtrodden.

Later he adds, "The young wealthy are keenly aware that there is little public sympathy for the moral doubts they struggle with. In a harsh economy, few people worry about the insecurities of heirs in their 20s and 30s who choose to work in social change philanthropy."

And yes, everyone in the piece does good work: they give to charity; one is a teacher; several work for non-profits. And they, too, have health and family problems. Nevertheless, parts of the article still read like parody, and the D.C. Young People with whom I spoke were not amused by what was perceived as a "seriously doubtful" "non-phenomenon" and unsuccessful attempt to be "edgy and contrarian." (Hey, Zagat is onto something!) Said one denizen sourly, "All I know is, when I used to work in a high-end hat boutique for a bit during college breaks, I can assure you that none of the moneyed youths to whom I sold $75 silk headbands appeared to have any serious qualms about the issue." (Different crowd, I guess.) Another queried, "in that picture why does the guy look like he's not standing on anything?" Perhaps the last word goes to the Logan Circle resident who wrote me, "yeah, there are rich people here, but if anything this feels like less of an issue in this economy...because so many of us are relatively lucky, just to be employed, fed, well, and dealing with a "survivor's guilt" that didn't exist a few years ago."

Because, here's the thing: there's a presumption here that the rest of the world is judging people...for being rich and living normally? For giving away money? For being conflicted? And, the thing is, we don't care. Most of us don't mind. Nice person who came into money and does good work? Great. We might envy the security, but I don't think we resent it. One guy in the piece says, "I definitely feel like I am at war between my desires instilled in me to eat out at nice restaurants and my better sense and principles," and I wanted to shout, "it doesn't help anyone if you don't go to a restaurant! Do it! If I had money, I would!" Like D.C., New York is full of rich people, many of them young. Some of them are, like these people, conscientious and civic-minded. Others, in Born Rich. Most of us are aware of this and aren't thinking about or resenting them nearly as much as they seem to imagine.

Here's what I do resent: when people pretend they can afford SoHo lofts on their artist incomes; when they're scrupulous about never paying a cent more than they owe at dinner because they think people are using them; when they complain about having to go on extravagant family vacations; and, most of all, when they talk about buying brownstones in "marginal neighborhoods." That's what we resent: not people having money, not their giving it to charity. I can even understand needing to vent about the guilt - although, don't you kind of get that off your chest? How often do you need to wallow in it? - and it's not their fault that someone wanted to profile them and left them open to cheap cracks from raging creative underclassers like me who, relative to much of the world, is still in a pretty well-fed percentile. It's all degrees of guilt and narcissism and analysis that, ironically, separates us further and further from any of the actual issues we're discussing.

The other evening, my grandfather, born very poor, reflected on feeling guilty "as a former Communist" for now living in such a swank area code. "I really feel like it's a sin," he said. "But at least there are like-minded people in the building." Then the doorman brought up some takeout.

Grappling With A Wealth Of Guilt [Washington Post]

Belle De Jour On Why Some Men Visit Prostitutes [Belle Of The Ball]

Anna N. — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:30:00 -0500

"[M]y clients were men who were addicted to success. They knew I, as a call girl, would respond positively to their advances, whereas outside of the transaction a woman like me might not." — Belle de Jour/Brooke Magnanti [NYT]

Lebanese Singer Sued For Racist Lyrics • Crowd Boos Sarah Palin At Book Signing [Leftovers]

Intern Katy — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:20:00 -0500

• Haifa Wehbe, a famous Lebanese pop singer, has come under fire for singing a song with racist lyrics. The song is from a children's album, and includes the line: "Where is my teddy bear and my Nubian monkey?" •

Nubian representatives say that the line compares black Egyptians to monkeys, and are suing the singer, her record label, and the songwriter. • The man charged with the kidnapping of Shaniya Davis has also been accused of raping and asphyxiating the 5-year-old South Carolina girl. Mario McNeill is being charged with first-degree murder and rape of a child. • Amanda Knox broke down in tears today in court as the prosecution closed their case against her, saying she "harboured hatred" for Meredith Kercher and "killed her to take revenge." • Amanda Knox's parents are so confident she'll be acquitted that they've already bought her a plane ticket home to Seattle. • The British man charged with strangling his own wife on a camping trip was found not guilty on account of a rare disorder, which caused him to murder Christine Thomas in his sleep. "You are a decent man and a devoted husband. I strongly suspect that, not withstanding the circumstances here, you may well be feeling a sense of guilt about what happened that night. In the eyes of the law, you bear no responsibility," said the judge. • Reporter Michael Crowley sat down in a restaurant the other night and found himself sitting two tables away from Sonia Sotomayor. Naturally, he sent out a Tweet, which read: "She left her purse on a chair; stern-faced security guys came back for it about 30 min later." • Soldiers in Sweden are fighting for flame-retardant underwear. The Swedish Conscription Council claims that the female soldiers were promised appropriate bras and panties years ago, but the armed forces has failed to deliver. • Selma Aliye Kavaf, Turkey's minister for women's affairs, says, "The mentality change regarding women's participation in business or political life would take time. Legislation or laws are not enough for women to become active in business life." • A dad from Minnesota claims that during the first three years of his son's life, he spoke to him only in Klingon. The dad says it was part of an experiment, to see whether his kid would pick up the fictional language. He says he stopped when it became clear his son, now 15, preferred English. • Warning: This story is disgusting and highly disturbing. Short version: a gang in Peru has been accused of murdering people in order to collect their fat, which is then sold on the black market for cosmetics. • The highest court in New York has rejected an attempt to throw out two government orders to recognize the rights of same-sex couples married in other states. While this is good news, the ruling was based on a technicality, and did not address the broader human rights issue at stake. • A team of researchers have made headway in understanding how the body metabolizes date rape drugs. They hope that the breakthrough "may provide new clues on how to counteract the drug's effects, or to enhance its metabolism and decrease toxicity for chronic abusers or victims of sexual assault." • A study from the Harvard School of Public Health found a woman's risk of developing multiple sclerosis during her lifetime is doubled if she was obese at age 18. This is the first time MS risk has been linked to obesity. The research was based on the Nurses' Health study, but doctors say "There's no reason to believe that the biological mechanisms would be different." • Ohio State University researchers found that alcoholics over the age of 60 have more than 40 alcoholic drinks a week on average, compared to between 25 and 35 drinks a week on average for younger alcoholics. The findings suggest older alcoholics have developed a tolerance and need to drink even more to get drunk. • A North Carolina doctor could lose his medical license for allegedly poking a patient's thigh and calling her fat and irresponsible for being unemployed and using taxpayer's money to pay for another pregnancy. The doctor admitted he told her that her fat thighs and diabetes could make her go blind. • Could "real" America's love affair with Sarah Palin be coming to a close? In this video an angry mob boos her and calls her a quitter after left a an event in Noblesville, Indiana without signing the books of about 300 families who had been waiting for more than three hours. • A few Indian travel agents are pushing "divorce tourism," package deals designed to help couples salvage their relationship. Viresh Hirjee, chief executive of a Mumbai travel agency, has been sending customers of vacation along with marriage counselors. "We are trying our best to bring the couple together," he said, but warned, "We are not destiny changers." • School officials in Orange County, California warned kids that if they skip school today to see New Moon they'll be marked truant. • The business information analysis firm IBISWorld says that the growing popularity of online dating sites is responsible for Australia's sex industry losing $67.6 million in the past year. "The rapid growth in online services means it has never been easier for like-minded individuals to organize casual liaisons for little or no cost," said IBISWorld analyst Edward Butler. • Barbara Ann Radnofsky, Democratic candidate for attorney general in Texas, says a clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages accidentally banned all marriages in the state. The clause reads: "This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage." Backers of the ban say she's reading too much into the clause for political reasons. • The city of Auckland, New Zealand paid $74,000 to give a 66-foot fiberglass Santa statue a facelift. One of his mechanical eyes had been drooping and people were worried it would scare children. His face has been bandaged and the repairs will be unveiled on Sunday. •

Bat For Lashes [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:10:00 -0500

[Kabul, November 20. Image via Getty]

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN - NOVEMBER 20: Afghan actress Trena Amiri, 22, touches up her makeup during the filming of the soap opera 'Love and Old Age' November 20, 2009 in Kabul, Afghanistan. Trena has been acting for two years and gets paid from $50 up to $300 depending on whether it's a TV show or movie production. Trena is divorced and rarely sees her three children since her ex-husband has full custody, according to conservative Afghan laws. She keeps her acting life a secret from her part-time nursing job, as many are critical of her lifestyle. (Photo by Paula Bronstein/Getty Images)

10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week [Mixed Bag]

Tracie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:00:00 -0500

In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, Martha Stewart's hatred of Sarah Palin, Spencer Pratt's spelling errors, and drunk idiots on MTV.

1.) Martha Stewart Vs. Rachael Ray
Last night on Nightline, Cynthia McFadden tried to stir up shit between the two women.

2.) Martha Stewart Vs. Sarah Palin
But on the red carpet this week, Martha didn't need any encouragement to talk shit on Sarah.

3.) Piper Palin Child Beauty Queen
Earlier this week, I joked that Piper Palin was wearing so much makeup for Sarah's interview with Barbara Walters that she practically looked high glitz.

Later that day, Oprah's camera crew went to Wasilla to film the Palin family at home, where Piper was wearing a crown and a sash.

4.) Mother/daughter bonding

5.) The D.E.N.N.I.S. System
It's funny 'cause it's true.

6.) Crap letter from a dude
As featured on True Life: I Can't Leave My Boyfriend. The guy later came back to her apartment when she wasn't home, and stole all of her electronics and her dog.

7.) America's Next Top Amityville Horror
ANTM aired some never-before-seen moments, and I'd rather that this one had stayed unseen.

8.) Drunk idiots
The people on the Real World/Road Rules Challenge get so stupid drunk that they always end up fighting, and subsequently kicked off the show (whichseems to be their sole source of income). Brad started in with Darrell for no reason.

And then Darrell turned Brad into Quasimodo.

9.) Sewing with Nancy
Her awkwardness makes me uncomfortable.

10.) Stomache

Not Ready For Her Closeup [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:50:00 -0500

[Salzburg, Austria; November 19. Image via WENN]

Crocs Designers Are Dying To Know What You Think [Desperate Measures]

Jenna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:40:00 -0500

Whaddaya know, but the Crocs designers seem to be fresh out of ideas to extend the shelf life of their hideous footwear, which has been rapidly fading from the national fad-consciousness since early 2008. They want your help.

Social networking may be the last refuge of the 21st Century scoundrel. Case in point: Crocsideas.com! Pulling the laziest designer trick of lazy designers everywhere, Crocs wants you to help them make their shoes into something half-decent. In the nauseous language of corporate prosumer sites everywhere, you can Join The Community, Post An Idea, and View & Vote (on the Community's Ideas). You can Share, Listen, and Innovate.

Isn't that sweet? Crocs wants you to tell it exactly what you think of it! And maybe to suggest what it might do that would be worth buying.

If crowd-sourcing its product development seems like scraping the bottom of the barrel, that's because it is. It wasn't always this way. When the company went public in 2006, it raised $208 million, and had the biggest stock market debut of any footwear company since people have been wearing shoes. One feverish day in October, 2007, the stock price hit $74.75. Various people have debated what this early-oughts vogue for spongy, candy-colored clogs meant, tying the trend in to America's deep desire for comfort in the aftermath of 9/11 and in the run-up to war ("America wanted a shoe that nurtured it, cradled it, made it feel warm and safe and loved...they quickly became the bacteriostatic security blanket for our souls"), or making them into cheap and cheerful symbols of the now-passed economic boom.

The reversal came swiftly. The company lost $181 million in 2008; it scrambled to service its debts, and laid off 2,000 employees. People stopped just buying them; attempts at branching out into Crocs clothing and Crocs cell phone holders and those idiotic Crocs hole charms, never caught on. (CEO John Duerden says the company was caught in "a perfect storm.") What happened to Crocs calls to mind those animals who evolve so perfectly to meet certain niche conditions that they find they can tolerate no others, like those amphibians who die in the South American jungle when the water level of their stream rises an inch. Crocs had one good idea: making cheap, funny looking but comfortable clogs in a cute array of colors, suitable for people who wanted to make a statement about caring more about comfort than about making statements. Unfortunately, the perforated foam rubber clog was widely copied by cheaper imitators, the fad blew up, and the market went away. Everyone who wanted Crocs, had them. The stock is currently trading at around $5.31, which is not quite its all-time low.

So how do you solve a problem like Crocs? We thought long and hard about this. OK, not really. But wouldn't it be great if...

They had "no-slip soles and a secure upper," says Margaret. "You know, like actual shoes. My mom owns a pair (which, thankfully, she only wears while gardening) and I slipped them on last week when I was going to get the mail. I tripped and almost fell on my driveway."
Take away the holes, says Hortense, who noticed the company pushing holey clogs for winter wear. "NOBODY wants holes in their winter shoes. They look cheap and stupid (and not to mention cold and drafty)."
I say they should take a cue from, you know, every other shoe company on earth — even the ones who might have had less successful IPOs! — and make a better array of styles. Croslite, the proprietary foam that Crocs are made out of, is actually kind of a cool material: it's lightweight, it's waterproof, it doesn't absorb sweat or odors, and it molds to the wearer's foot under body heat. So why is it only ever used for ugly clogs? Why not make sandals? Jellies? Flip-flops? Think minimal, not clunky. Jesus, do we have to draw you guys a picture?
Imagine Crocs going back to its nautical roots. (Company co-founder Scott Seaman originally thought they would make the perfect boat shoes.) Just think of the collab potential here! We're thinking: CrocSiders. For starters
Is there any way we could get a pet line out of this?

Otherwise, we may have to break out the big guns, and think rebranding. Instead of Crocs, the cuddly Millennial shoe, why not be Sharks? Oh, wait, somebody did that.

Image via Weboo Shoes

CrocsIdeas [Official Site]
Crocs? They Were So Economic Boom [LATimes]
Can Crocs Be More Than A One-Hit Wonder? [Time]
Crocs On The Rocks [The Smart Set]

Reader Roundup [Commenter Quips]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:30:00 -0500

For the love of werewolves, thank Jacob it's Friday!

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Coin Toss: Hail Mary, full of grace,
my coins are with thee,
trusted art thou with my life's savings,
and blessed is this pile of leave under which it is hidden.
Holy Mary, high rolling mother of God, pray for big winnings now and until I get back from Vegas next week.
Amen.
• Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Let's Get Biblical: "So what if Sarah Palin didn't write this book? Even Jamal Jenkins and Lenni Frazier used a ghostwriter to solve crimes!" And! "And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel sent from God unto a city of Wasilla, to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Levi, of the house of Meth; and the virgin's name was Bristol. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail! thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among snowbillies." • Plus: "And Levi begat Tripp, and Tripp begat Pip, and Pip begat Pippin, and Pippin begat Frodo..." Followed by: "And Sarah begat Trig, Uncle of Trip;
But nay, Trig is the half-Brother of Trip,
sayeth Andrew of the Sullites." • Worst Comment Of The Day, in response to Cool Kids Love New Moon, Too!: "would it kill K-stew to smile just fucking once? Iwant to smash her one. IF it wasnt for this movie and all these people wanting to take your picture no one would give a rats ass who you were and you'd be back from whence you came and then you would have something to sneer at." Yeah… No.

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

Meetups? Use the meetup tag page!

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

What's Being Taught In College Rape Prevention Programs? [Rape-rape]

LatoyaPeterson — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:20:00 -0500

Asking men to visualize being raped is a graphic way to prove a point-but is it an effective strategy to prevent assault? College campuses around the country are beginning to adopt prevention programs and a new article examines their tactics.

On Sunday, the Chronicle of Higher Education published a piece exploring the struggles of colleges trying to measure the effectiveness of programs designed to reduce rape and sexual assault. These programs have shifted the focus from women to men - and have stepped up the idea that men can assist in preventing third party assaults.

The Department of Justice's Office on Violence Against Women gives grants to colleges to develop or strengthen various resources, including policies related to prevention, victim counseling, and training for administrators and the campus police in identifying and responding to sexual assaults.

Some colleges try to reach all their incoming freshmen during orientation, or work the training into their curricula, while others aim to reach a few hundred students a year. On some campuses, well-financed women's centers funnel thousands of dollars into the effort, while other colleges have found ways to educate a good chunk of students without a real budget, relying on student volunteers and fund raising.

The challenge for colleges is that even the best prevention strategies lack guarantees. "There is no magic bullet," says Paul Schewe, a psychologist at the University of Illinois at Chicago and director of the Interdisciplinary Center for Research on Violence. The field is relatively new to academe, and not all experts agree on the best approaches.

John D. Foubert, one of the pioneering instructors, believes that one of the ways to stop sexual assault would be to focus on getting men to envision what it would be like if they were raped:

The program, which Mr. Foubert created in the late 1990s, consists of an hourlong workshop on sexual assault. The cornerstone of the program is a video that dramatizes the rape of the male police officer, which is both graphic and disturbing. And according to his research, Mr. Foubert says, the video increases men's aversion to rape while casting them not as potential abusers but as "potential helpers" who can help prevent assaults.

On its Web site, Mr. Foubert's organization highlights statistics from studies he has conducted on the program's effectiveness. It says that not only does the program improve men's understanding of how to help a woman recover from rape, but it also lowers "the likelihood of raping for an entire academic year-longer than any other program evaluated in the research literature." Furthermore, Mr. Foubert concluded that 75 percent of "high risk" men who attend his program report lower likelihood of raping after the program concludes.

This sends up some red flags. One, who determines who is high risk? Anyone is capable of sexually assaulting someone else, and while it may help deter men in social settings where a lot of peers are egging on forcible contact, it doesn't really stop one-on-one occasions like acquiescence rape. Secondly, are these statistics based on self-reporting? As we've seen before, many people will dance rings around the word "rape" without realizing that their behavior falls squarely within the definitions.

The more commonly known strategy aimed at women is a "risk reduction" tactic - where programs explain to women what they can do to try to mitigate the risk of an assault:

While some rape-prevention strategies were created specifically for men, others were designed to empower women. The latter include "risk reduction" programs that have been shown to decrease the likelihood of being assaulted. Such programs teach women, for example, to keep an eye on their drink to prevent someone from drugging it; to attend parties in groups; and to set boundaries in sexual situations. Self-defense training can be another component.

But the majority of programs are for both genders, according to a recent review written by a panel of sexual-assault-prevention experts, including Mr. Berkowitz and Mr. Schewe. Most rely on a lecture format, but many use videos, interactive skits, role-playing, and rape survivor stories. And according to Rape Prevention and Risk Reduction: Review of the Research Literature for Practitioners, mixed-gender programs have been shown to produce positive changes in attitudes about rape, although they have generally not been successful over the long term.

Several companies have gotten into the game, too. Colleges can book a performance of Sex Signals, a two-person play designed to educate students using a mix of improvisational comedy and audience participation. NFormed.on.sexual.assault, which bills itself as a "not for too much profit" company, offers online video training to colleges at a cost of up to $6.95 per student.

Although it's important to applaud educators for taking a closer look at rape prevention, it's possible the dwindling and hard to measure returns will continue as long as they solely focus on risk management, to the detriment of everything else. One of the reasons I enjoyed the Yes Means Yes! anthology and blog (full disclosure: I'm one of the contributors) is this idea of enthusiastic consent. So often, questions of consent hinge upon hearing "no" as in "she never said no" or "I didn't hear her say stop." Yes Means Yes reframes that idea, positioning that the absence of no should not be taken as consent, and that only a full, enthusiastic yes leads to a positive sexual experience for both partners.

In addition, there are a number of amazing documentary films examining the larger role of cultural influences that often go unchallenged. Dreamworlds 3 is one of these resources, where the images of women in society are critically examined. While some men may gain valuable insight by trying to place themselves in the shoes of someone who has been raped, another effective tactic may be to show how dominant and unquestioned are certain ideas about sexuality. The segment in Dreamworlds on masculinity and control is a major eye-opener:

In addition, Byron Hurt's Beyond Beats and Rhymes provides a hip-hop focus that still provides men and women with a shocking glimpse of what types of behavior become normalized.

At 6:37, the statistics begin flashing on screen: One in four black women are raped after age eighteen, that black women are 35% more likely to be physically assaulted than white women, and that more than 700,000 women are assaulted each year, with 61% of those victims being under 18.

The following segment, "Sisters and Bitches," provides an illustrated view of the problems with rationalizing away behavior. As the scenes Hurt films become more sexually aggressive and more violent toward women, he eventually approaches as police officer, who more or less shrugs it off as regrettable but not preventable:

In order to change the way sexual aggression is viewed in the culture, people must make sure that they examine and challenge assumptions. Which brings me to this problematic passage in the Chronicle of Higher Education report:

The majority of rapists, almost all of whom are male, are never reported or prosecuted, according to David Lisak, a clinical psychologist at the University of Massachusetts at Boston who has spent more than two decades studying rapists. These "undetected rapists," as he called them in a 2002 paper, hold rigid beliefs about gender roles and objectify women. They are usually hypermasculine, equating aggression, sexual prowess, and violence with their own adequacy. They tend to use alcohol deliberately to make their victims more vulnerable to attack.

While I agree that the majority of rapists are never reported or prosecuted (thanks social stigmas!) I disagree with creating a profile of someone who could commit a sexual assault or rape. For one thing, putting characteristics like hypermasculinity into the mix could become confusing. How then, does one deal with the manipulative dynamics of Nice Guys, or the murky consent dynamics of the open-source boob project?

In addition, a focus on the outcome (dealing with or preventing rape and sexual assault) can also lead to ignoring the causes and effects leading up to these types of assaults. At Racialicious, we recently published a piece from Fiqah who talked about her problems dealing with sexual advances from a uniformed police officer that lives in her neighborhood. She wrote:

"Where you headed?" he asked, looking down at me as my eyes landed everywhere else: his shoes, a lamppost, a trashcan, a little boy barrelling down the sidewalk on his scooter. As we stopped at a crosswalk, he moved a full step closer to me so that we were separated by no more than a few inches. I swung the shopping bag hanging from my hand between us, casually, so as to appear non-deliberate. My flitting eyes landed on the gun at his hip. I quickly looked away.

"Oh, not far," I'd said, calmly, making small talk as my mind screamed angry accusations and panicked instructions. Don't let him walk you to your building! Stall him! It's your fault for wearing a V-neck shirt without a minimizer! Tell him you have run to the bodega across the street and pick up something you forgot! Tell him your boyfriend's waiting for you! You must always remember to wear your wedding ring when you go out or this will happen! This is your fault! Your fault! Don't tell him your real name! Don't tell him anything! Keep talking! This is your fault!

"OH!" I said, feigning dismay. "I forgot something! I gotta run into one of these bodegas and grab it."

"No problem, I'll walk you there," he'd said. My stomach turned over.

"Thank you so much, that's really nice, but I got it."

"You sure?" he'd asked, handing me my bags.

"Oh, yeah, it's not a problem. I mean, a little weight-lifting won't hurt!" I added. He laughed, and gave me one last nauseating up-and-down.

"Don't get too much exercise, now," he'd drawled.

I had swallowed my rising bile and forced a smile, thanking him for his help, and hastily crossed the street.

As is par for the course with any blog posts on rape, street harassment, and sexual harassment, comments started creeping in asking what the cop did wrong, why the writer would feel threatened if a man was just saying hello, and asking what men are supposed to do if women dress in a way to attract attention. One commenter even went so far as to suggest Fiqah would have been fine with this harassment if she thought the police officer was attractive.

These types of ingrained ideas need to be explored. There is no reason why men should have so many problems distinguishing between flirting and sexual aggression, or why reflexive reactions like "well why are you wearing that?" should go unchallenged.

Luckily, on campuses, administrators are open to changing tactics. As Dorothy Edwards, creator of the Green Dot program, says at the end of the Chronicle article:

Ms. Edwards, of Kentucky, echoes some of her peers when she says it doesn't matter to her which strategy comes out on top, as long as the goals are met. "I couldn't care less about Green Dot," she says. "I want to end rape."

Rape-Prevention Programs Proliferate, but 'It's Hard to Know' Whether They Work [The Chronicle]
Official Site [Yes Means Yes Blog]
Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape [Amazon]
Dreamworlds 3 (Unabridged) [Media Education Foundation]
Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes [PBS Independent Lens]
Nice Guy (TM) at XKCD [Restructure]
Open Source Boob Project [Feminist SF Wiki]
Unreported [Racialicious]

Earlier: Rapists Admit Repeated Crimes - As Long As You Don't Call It "Rape"

Life Is A Cabaret [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:10:00 -0500

[London, November 20. Image via Getty]

Hula hoop artist 'Marawa' performs during a photocall to promote the 'La Clique' Cabaret in London, on November 20, 2009. The show is a mixture of cabaret, burlesque, circus and variety and runs in London, from November 20 until January 17, 2010. AFP PHOTO/Leon Neal (Photo credit should read LEON NEAL/AFP/Getty Images)

Photographer Bets $5,000 On Demi Moore W Cover Retouching [Photoshop Of Horrors]

Irin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:00:00 -0500

Although Demi Moore has denied that her W cover was dramatically Photoshopped to accidentally remove part of her hip, a photographer who also noticed it is calling bullshit... to the tune of $5,000.

Photographer Anthony Citrano, who pointed out the hip chop to Boing Boing, issued a throwdown on Twitter, elaborating,

Whether or not her hip was botched, I do not believe for a moment that the image Demi posted yesterday is the original shot.

If she's aware of that - and I expect she is - it's irresponsible (and silly) of her to make that assertion.

So, I'll see her move and raise her $5,000: if the shot she posted yesterday is really the unretouched original, I will donate $5,000 to a charity of her choosing.

So far, Moore hasn't responded. Yesterday, though, she was happy to chat about her shape:

Ouch. Well, if Moore had read the story, she'd probably have found a plausible defense for the shot which, if it was over-Photoshopped, wouldn't be her fault anyway, as Citrano also notes.

... Moore is thinner than expected, which emphasizes the prominent bone structure that still photographs so well but also gives her a slightly gaunt appearance in person. Her chopstick legs are sheathed in skinny dark jeans, and her oversize cashmere sweatshirt looks as if it could have been borrowed from husband Ashton Kutcher's side of the closet.

So should we chalk it up to the chopsticks? Only the original photo could settle it.

Demi Claims Missing Hipflesh Is For Real. [Boing Boing]
Demi Goddess [W]

Related: Anthony Citrano Photography

Earlier: The Curious Case of Demi Moore's Left Hip

TGIF [Snap Judgment]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:50:00 -0500

[Image via Cute Overload.]

M Is For Michelle, An Elegant Mystery [The Name Game]

Anna N. — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:40:00 -0500

Michelles turn heads with their elegance — even when they're wearing acid-washed jeans.

Michelle is a variant of Michael, which apparently means "Who is like God?" And while Michelles don't necessarily breathe life into clay, they can certainly take your breath away. My image of Michelle is stylish and classy — she's tall and cool and well-dressed and she wears really nice earrings. Her hair's usually in some kind of updo, and she knows how to pull off nude lipstick. But Michelle's also the kind of girl who looks great no matter what she wears. I think of Michelle as a really eighties name, and I think of its bearer as somehow looking glamorous even while wearing leg warmers and a pound of hairspray.

But enough about Michelle's looks — what's she like on the inside? This is a tougher question, because I think of Michelles as a little unknowable. They're the kind of girls might not get asked out a lot, because they don't come off as "approachable." When you go to their houses — maybe for a study session or a very polite birthday party with parents present — you discover that their bedrooms are perfectly clean and reveal almost nothing about their personalities. A pink bedspread, perhaps an old American Girl doll smiling wanly, but nothing that gives you a peek into Michelle's inner life. Michelle's a girl to be admired from afar, because so few manage to get close.

Michelle Obama, with her hula-hooping skills and willingness to get her hands dirty, is a bit more fun and down to earth than my image of Michelle. But she's got the elegance thing down. So does the ethereally beautiful Michelle Yeoh. And Michelle Williams, pretty private in the wake of Heath Ledger's death, seems a bit unknowable despite her sweet smile. But the true, quintessential Michelle is obviously Michelle Pfeiffer. With her cool, feline (figuratively and literally) beauty, she's the essence of stylish Michelleness. And despite her popularity, she's never really been America's sweetheart — she's not one of those celebrities we feel we know. Perhaps it's because her heyday came before the ubiquity of online gossip, but I'm betting it has something to do with her name.

Like Michelle Pfeiffer, the name Michelle was big in the eighties — but not as big as it was in the seventies, when it peaked at #4 in the nation. It's still doing okay, but at #103, its glory days are clearly over. Maybe uncertain times call for warmer, homier names — and with Michelle Obama's popularity reportedly falling, the trend might not reverse anytime soon. But this waning hipness is unlikely to tarnish Michelle's luster — she looks good in anything, including her name.

Michelle [Wikipedia]
Michelle [Baby Name Wizard]

Earlier: L Is For Lisa, Whose Looks Are Deceiving
K Is For Kate, Who Kicks Ass, Takes Names
J Is For Jennifer, The Vanilla Of Names
I Is For Isabel, Who's Snooty, But Earns It
H Is For Hillary, A Barrel Of Laughs
G Is For Grace - What's That Up Her Sleeve?
F Is For Francesca, And I Wish I Were Her
E Is For Emily, Who Seems Sweet (At First)
D Is For Danielle (Or Dani, Who's Apparently Kinda Judgey)
C Is For Courtney, Who's Too Cool For School
B is for Beth (And Barack! And Bandana!)
A Is For Anna: What My First Name Says About Me

"Honestly, In The Beginning I Probably Wouldn't Have Guessed That [We] Would Be The Final Three" [Greatest Show On Earth]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:30:00 -0500

At the link: Nobody's favorite Project Runway winner Irina talks about her fashion line, Epperson, the competition and whether she lifted her T-shirt idea from New York magazine. [LA Times]

KBR Arbitration Awards Another Assault Victim [Justice For None]

LatoyaPeterson — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:20:00 -0500

Former military construction contractor Tracy Barker was raped in Iraq in 2005 while on the job. Barker went through arbitration and won a settlement, but her former employer, Kellogg Brown & Root, is still trying to screw her over.

KBR has released a typically douchey statement:

"However, the decision validates what KBR has maintained all along; that the arbitration process is truly neutral and works in the best interest of the parties involved."

However, their actions tell a different story. Unlike Jamie Leigh Jones, (who won the right to take her lawsuit to court), Barker's claim was kicked back to arbitration. Now that the settlement is in Barker's favor, KBR is still trying to fight their own system:

Barker said she was upset KBR is trying to modify the award.

"They are still dragging it out," she said. "They didn't win and now they want to amend the award. You can't with binding arbitration. How is that fair?"

(Image via ABC News)

Woman Awarded $3M In Assault Claim Against KBR [TPM]

Earlier: Jamie Leigh Jones Takes On Pro-KBR Senators On Rachel Maddow
Republicans: Defending Rape Victims Is A "Political" Move
Sen. Franken Fights KBR On Behalf Of Rape Victims
After 2 Years, Court Rules Gang Rape Unrelated To Employment
Iraq Sexual Assault Victim: "I Felt Safer On The Convoys With The Army Than I Ever Did Working For KBR"

Otherwise Employed [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:10:00 -0500

[Hefei, China; November 19. Image via Getty]

Chinese students look at a newspaper outside an employment fair in Hefei, in east China's Anhui province on November 19, 2009. China's urban registered unemployment rate stood at 4.3 percent in the second quarter, unchanged from the first three months of the year and up from 4.2 percent at the end of 2008, official data showed, however, the actual jobless figure may be much bigger than the official rate, which does not take into account migrant workers and university graduates, where a recent report showed about three million graduates were still unemployed. CHINA OUT AFP PHOTO (Photo credit should read STR/AFP/Getty Images)

Liveblogging James Franco's Soap Opera Debut [Soap Scum]

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500

Today, James Franco begins his months-long stint on General Hospital in some organized-crime-related and possibly performance-art-involving capacity. And we will be watching (with clips) ...after the jump.

2:55: Okay, I'm ready. I have my TV set to ABC, a mug of mediocre coffee, and some of Entemann's surprisingly excellent madeleines. Is this appropriate snackage? I think so. I will need to muster all my wits to follow this.

2:59 They say it's "shocking."

3:00 It's on. Philandering. Interrupted philandering.

3:01 That guy has rage issues. The woman is long-suffering. Oh, here are some obvious wise-guys in dark suits.

3:02 Some dudes are planning a hit. A beggar approaches. OMG, was that beggar FRANCO?! Wait, he's going to turn so we can see his face! Yes! And there's a cover of "Mad World" playing! It is so on!

3:03 The philandering lady is really nervous. MAYBE BECAUSE HER LOVER IS HIDING IN THE NEXT ROOM! Oh, and her sweet boyfriend is talking about buying land so they can build a home together. He wears the horns. The poor cuckold.

3:06 They're all planning a "Franco exhibit" at the gallery. Five years ago he was an anonymous wall-tagger, now he's a world-renowned artist. He's a recluse though. No one's ever seen Franco. Is he a facially-challenged Phantom of the Opera, they ask? Haha! If they only knew!

3:08 Hm, maybe a perky, fashionable blonde can coax the elusive Franco to do a photo-shoot...I guess "Franco" is like a Banksy figure?

3:09 This plotline with the angry guy and the tearful woman confuses and bores me. Bring on Franco.

3:10 A shootout. The beggar/Franco is lurking in the shadows. Eating something, like Stonewall Jackson on the battle-field. He is clearly a cool customer. He assumes some kind of...karate stance?

Commercial. 3:15 "James Franco's Little Brother Dave Franco?" Yeah, he's never heard that one before. Aparently he's joining the cast of Scrubs.

3:16 We're back. Franco's "art" is apparently some kind of installation of a crime scene.

3:18 This woman had to compromise herself 50 different ways every day. Claudia found out about Dante and used that information as leverage.

3:19 The shootout continues. People alternately die or disperse. Franco, smiling in a creepy and sinister way that indicates this might be some kind of "art" to him, lurks in the shadows, then waves after the departing gangsters.

3:22 Commercial. No, I don't want to cut corners by using a broth with MSG. I like the 365 Organic one, though.

3:23 Port Charles. Is her lover going to lurk in the other room this entire episode?

3:24 Good thing she concealed that cufflink. That was close.

3:26 Uh oh, she senses looming disaster at the Franco opening. Me too. I'm also anticipating a Count-of-Monte-Cristo-style entrance in a balloon.

3:29 Now Franco is rearranging a body. He throws some change at it. "Keep the change," he intones. Commercial!

3:30 I hate that bear Charmin campaign. I just imagine their fur all matted with excrement, which I would not have thought about otherwise.

3:33 It's back. Domestic drama. Dante. Sonny. Feuds. Secrets and lies.

3:35 With one word from John, Sonny will make Dante a dead man.

3:36 Crime scene. Something's off about the position of that body...

3:38 They need to find the homeless guy. He's the only witness!

3:39 It's Franco! Out of disguise, in a large, atmospheric, geniusy apartment. There's a piano. "I need you," he says into the phone. "Should I wear anything special, or nothing at all?" says a sexyvoice.

Commercial. Has anyone tried those new readymade cookies with the all-natural ingredients? No, there's no commercial for them on, just wondering.

3:42 It's back. Ok, we get it: Olivia will always put Dante first. I have no idea what's going on and I get it. Why doesn't John?

3:44 "Someone's not going to make it out alive." Yawn. Commercial.

3:51 It's back! Crime scene. And that body is definitely suspicious. In fact, someone crushed his windpipe.

3:47 Commercial. Sigh. A segment without Franco is like...regular General
Hospital.

3:49 Those Betty Crocker cookies makes me think of the part of Heaven to Betsy when Anna says, "Ja, and I'll bet they all taste alike!"

3:53 Why did the "homeless guy" wave at them? What's his deal? Mad...or mad like a fox with knowledge of crime procedure?!

3:54 Franco's face is being caressed by sexy woman! He is kinda sweaty! They ARE MAKING OUT! She speaks only in sexy one-liners!

Commercial. Sometimes I think the only upside to some awful freak accident death is that the New York Post would refer to me as a "beauty," regardless of actual appearance.

Oh, wait, it's over? Oh. It looks like Franco makes out with a lot more people next week.

"A Secret Scientology Van?" [Snap Jugment]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:50:00 -0500

[Long Island, November 19. Image via INFDaily.]

Critics Say New Moon , Twihards Suck [Critical Mass]

Margaret — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:40:00 -0500

The reviews for New Moon are terrible, with critics trashing the script, director, actors, CGI, and even Twihards themselves, saying the film panders to fans who wouldn't know a good movie if it bit them.

Most critics didn't directly insult Twilight fans, but they clearly resentd the fact that they'll flock to the film regardless of what the reviews say. The Twilight Saga: New Moon was already a box office success before the reviews below were written, with fans camping out to see midnight screenings and Movietickets.com announcing earlier this week that the film had already broke Star Wars — Episode III: Revenge of the Sith's record to become the top advance ticket seller of all-time.

The film may have suffered because Stephenie Meyer's second novel isn't the strongest of the series. In New Moon, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is celebrating her 18th birthday with her sparkly vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) and his family, when she cuts her finger and the scent of her blood makes his brother nearly kill her. Edward breaks up with Bella so that (as the AP puts it) "he doesn't complicate their relationship by giving her a fatal hickey." For the next few months Bella mopes and hangs out with her werewolf friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) and his overly-developed torso (which "should be given its own credit line.") Bella starts putting her life in danger in an effort to reconnect with Edward, and eventually they both wind up in Italy. There they meet the Volturi, a group of red-eyed vampire royalty that includes Aro (Michael Sheen) and Jane (Dakota Fanning).

Chris Weitz, who previously directed About A Boy and The Golden Compass, took over for Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke, who some critics say understood her teenage characters better. Reviewers say that Weitz "paid no attention to pacing" and was more focused on ticket sales than artful direction. The leads don't fare much better. One reviewer writes: "I can't comment on the acting because I didn't catch Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner doing any." Several critics report that their melodramatic acting, as well as several slow-motion shots of Pattinson, result in "unintentional laughs that lighten the movie's relentless gloom." Twilight fans, brace yourselves.

The Los Angeles Times

Constrained by the plot of the novel, the film keeps the two lovers apart for quite a spell, robbing the project of the crazy-in-love energy that made Twilight, the first entry in the series, such a guilty pleasure. New Moon... marks the franchise's entrance into the self-protective, don't rock the boat phase of its existence, which is inevitable but a bit of a shame... A smooth professional whose credits include such adaptations as The Golden Compass and About a Boy, [Chris] Weitz makes the vampire trains of Melissa Rosenberg's capable script run on time, but he almost seems too rational a director for this kind of project. This lack of animating madness combined with the novel's demands give much of New Moon a marking time quality.

The New York Post

New Moon is supposed to be an exciting love story plus monster action. So where's the excitement? Where's the action? Bella (Kristen Stewart) and vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) stare longingly past each other (Pattinson, who keeps entering in hilarious slo-mo, is so intent on smoldering at the camera that he seems to forget there's another person around) and swap excruciating love-chat: "You can't (long pause) protect me (longer pause) from everything." Bad dialogue, like bad news, doesn't get better with age. This movie moves like the line at the post office.

USA Today

Pattinson is not given as much to do in this installment since he removes himself from Bella for her own protection. Bella spends an inordinate amount of time pining away. Unless it's a Ingmar Bergman film, watching an expressionless person stare out a window or trudge around alone in the woods is simply a drag.

The lovelorn Bella has little to recommend her as a heroine. She's sullen, self-absorbed and stubborn. That such a bland and passive character elicits the amorous devotion of both Edward and Jacob is rather mystifying. Almost as incomprehensible is the huge appeal of this series, beyond the obvious timeworn fascination with vampires and werewolves.

Associated Press

The soap-opera melodrama of Stewart, Pattinson and Lautner's performances provides some unintentional laughs that lighten the movie's relentless gloom. Yet Stewart is on screen almost all the time, and her Bella is just a drag to be around. With her flat speech and listless presence, it's unfathomable how two different sets of monsters could fixate so completely on her. All three lovers are so joyless, it's hard to imagine why any of them would want to spend eternity together. They're here for two more movies, though. And that sounds like a real eternity.

Variety

Stewart is the heart and soul of the film, and not only because her Bella is surrounded by characters who literally have neither one nor the other. She gives both weight and depth to dialogue ("You're just warm. You're like your own sun") that would sound like typical chick-lit blather in the mouth of a less engaging actress, and she makes Bella's psychological wounds seem like the real deal.

Time Out New York

At one point, a character wearily deconstructs zombie-cinema symbolism while bemoaning the lack of hot guys. Is this sequel defending its fan base and preempting criticism about its transparent agenda? This is a soap opera, folks-and acceptable escapism for those old enough to see it yet still young enough to shriek at undead dreamboats.

The Chicago Sun-Times

The Twilight Saga: New Moon takes the tepid achievement of Twilight, guts it, and leaves it for undead. You know you're in trouble with a sequel when the word of mouth advises you to see the first movie twice instead. Obviously the characters all have. Long opening stretches of this film make utterly no sense unless you walk in knowing the first film, and hopefully both Stephanie Meyer novels, by heart. Edward and Bella spend murky moments glowering at each other and thinking, So, here we are again.

New York Daily News

While I don't want to upset anyone here, [Lautner and Stewart] share a genuine spark that's missing between Stewart and Pattinson. Still, we all know where Bella's heart really lies. A cynical adult might note that it's easy enough to see where Weitz's heart lies, too. His job is to sell as many tickets as possible, which means hitting all the right notes. He does that well enough, despite some difficulty juggling every subplot. A trip to Italy, in which Bella and Edward face a vampire council... feels particularly squeezed in. And while Stewart has deepened her portrayal of Bella, Pattinson has little to do but brood. Then again, if you've come to this movie looking for fancy filmmaking or an original voice (other than Meyer's), well, Weitz frankly doesn't care. You're not his audience. He's got a franchise to keep running, and he does that with workmanlike precision and minimal intrusion. Which, most likely, is just how fans will want it.

Rolling Stone

Catherine Hardwicke, who directed the first film, better caught the virginal yearning in Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), the high school girl torn between both monsters. Chris Weitz, the director of New Moon, pumps up the action as Jacob turns into an unconvincing digital wolf. I can't comment on the acting because I didn't catch Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner doing any. They basically primp and pose through the same humdrum motions they did before.

The New York Times

There's more - the book is another doorstopper - crammed between the weeping and dolorous gazes, including a pack of snarling, not terribly effective CGI wolves. They're amusing if not as diverting as either Dakota Fanning or Michael Sheen, who pop up in a late-act detour to Italy, where the vampires, unlike their puritanical American cousins, still like to drink. (In a rare moment of narrative wit, Bella flies Virgin.) Mr. Sheen, who's carved out a twinned specialty playing Tony Blair (in three movies) and vampires (four), preens with plausible menace. But it's Ms. Fanning, with the cruel eyes and sleekly upswept hair suggestive of an underage dominatrix, who shows real bite. Mr. Weitz doesn't know what to do with her, but when she smiles, you finally see the darker side of desire.

Salon

Bella's eyes pop when she gets a load of [Jacob's] chest, and she gets to see a lot of it, as we do. Forget that wan Victorian valentine Edward — the movie only wants to hammer on the notion that women feel conflicted between sensitive, skinny pale guys who'll protect them with their mad vampire skilz and brawny bruisers who'll protect them with muscle, either the wolf or the human kind. In the New Moon world, there's no in between. These movies, and the books they're based on, are all about veiled sexuality, with all its thrills and threats: There's no sex in these pictures, only the vague, gauzy promise of it — predicated on the way young girls often dream of being swept off their feet by a handsome, laconic hunk but don't want to think about what might come after. But the problem isn't that New Moon takes an uncomplicated view of sex; it's that it doesn't even bother to take a romantic view of romance. Weitz appears to have paid no attention to pacing here: The movie is essentially a string of brooding speeches, often delivered in the woods, with very little interesting connective tissue in between. The dialogue consists of numerous variations on two lines, the first being "I love you, but I'm a vampire, and I can't protect you," the second, "I love you, but I'm a werewolf, and I can't protect you."

Time

As Edward, Pattinson is all pale passion and tortured restraint; his eyebrows, like muskrats determined to mate, hunch together in the middle of his sunken face; the few times he smiles, it looks as if it hurts, and he still seems reluctant to move his mouth when he talks... Where Pattinson's Edward is cold, bloodless and trapped in his head, Taylor Lautner's Jacob is warm, tawny, genial and able to get Kristen Stewart's shrink-wrapped Bella to stretch out and relax a little onscreen. It's as though the sun can come back out once Edward leaves; there are genuinely funny moments in their scenes together, not to mention sexual tension. Expect an eruption in the theater during the scene in which a thrill-seeking Bella wrecks the motorcycle Jacob rebuilt for her and he strips off his T-shirt to tend her bleeding head. From that point on, his torso remains so central a character it should be given its own credit line.

The Boston Globe

In most other respects, the movie's a drag - paced like a dirge and cursed with dialogue and a goopy musical score (Alexandre Desplat, how could you?) that bring out the book's worst daytime soap tendencies. But what can you expect from an installment that keeps the central duo of human Bella and vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) apart for an extended 500-page sulk? Even my impromptu focus group (two adolescent daughters and one friend) voted New Moon the least involving of the four books.

The A.V. Club

Lautner helps break up Stewart and Pattinson's overwhelming dourness, as do New Moon's occasional attempts at humor. However, while Lautner is the only one of the three principals who can smile without looking exceedingly uncomfortable, his wooden carriage and delivery add up to all the onscreen appeal of a Ken doll, and the film still turns in more unintentional, forehead-slapping laughs than scripted ones, particularly for audiences who haven't been inoculated by the books. New Moon was clearly made with its disturbingly loyal fans in mind, and while its cheesy, melodramatic charm is unlikely to win any new converts to the series, it succeeds in giving its intended audience exactly what it wants.

Slate

Mopey, draggy, and absurdly self-important, the movie nonetheless twangs at some resonant affective chord. This viewer, at least, was catapulted back to that moment of adolescence when being mopey, draggy, and absurdly self-important felt like a passionate act of liberation. The Twilight movies are schlock, but they're elegantly appointed, luxuriously enjoyable schlock, and the world they take place in-the densely forested, perpetually overcast, vampire-and-werewolf-ridden town of Forks, Washington - feels like a real, if fantastical, place. It's as specific and evocative a location as the fictional Washington town of Twin Peaks. It's this sense of place that elevates the Twilight films above the best-selling books by Stephenie Meyer, made up of impenetrable blocks of descriptive yet curiously featureless prose.

Twilight was a pleasant surprise, a dish of cream-heavy teen romance that had at least been made with a guiding sensibility behind it. New Moon, on the other hand, merely follows a dictated formula. It's a cheap, shoddy piece of work, one that banks on moviegoers' anticipation without even bothering to craft a satisfying experience for them. Its pandering is an insult. New Moon moons its audience, and makes them pay for the so-called privilege.

Movie Talk: New Moon Already Setting Ticket Sales Record [Yahoo]

Inside Rihanna's New CD: Artsy Pseudo-Nudity; Gun References [Pop Life]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:30:00 -0500

Rated R drops Tuesday, but someone somewhere (Brazil?) made a video of the booklet. "I lick the gun when I'm done, cuz I know that revenge is sweet" is scrawled inside, and there's some… racy photography. Clip below. [Rap Radar]

Welcome To The Dollhouse: Do We Need Our Dolls To Be Mini-Mes? [Dollywood]

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:20:00 -0500

In 1954, the famous "Doll Test" in which black children were asked to choose between a black doll and a white doll, was used as an argument against desegregation. Now, there's a doll for every girl...and every narcissist. And yet:

Kenneth Clark's famous study was dispiriting: almost every child preferred the white doll. In
2006, filmmaker Kiri Davis re-created the experiment, and 15 of her 21 young subjects chose the Caucasian baby doll. While, as we all know, children "have to be carefully taught," this is clearly ingrained early - and dies hard. On the View yesterday, Elisabeth Hasselbeck remarked on the looks her daughter got when she carried a Tiana doll from The Princess and the Frog on the street (although I personally might have been looking at the celebrity, but that's just me. And she says she was wearing a hat.)

Yet, what makes the whole thing even more depressing is that on the surface, there have never been so many doll "choices": a piece in today's Wall Street Journal points to the trend in doll-girl matching and, amongst toy companies, "an intensifying concern with matching the characteristics of the figurine with those of its owner."

There are, of course, several different issues at play here. On the one hand, we've got standards of beauty - kids need to see more varietals than Barbie, and know that all kinds of appearance and coloring are equally valid - that one is not always the heroine while the others are the chorus, the satellite, the token friend. In a word, we need diversity of dolls to become commonplace, taken for granted.

And then there are the different forms of play: some children like to "parent" their dolls; just yesterday I saw a little girl assiduously mothering her baby doll while her mother tended to a real-life infant sibling. In these cases, you don't need a shrink to tell you that the play is helpful for transitioning, for working out issues, and for learning positive behaviors. And you don't need to be a sociologist to know that for a little kid, your baby most often looks like you. (Although Brangelina may be putting paid to this notion for any child whose mother has a Star subscription.)

Of course, for most kids, it's not about that particularly. Like Hasselbeck's daughter, most young children just want dolls as friends or characters. As the Journal put it,

More commonly, children have enjoyed dolls not for narcissistic satisfaction but for their imaginative potential as hand-held adventurers that can be moved about and made to talk or fly. A corncob doll works as well for those purposes as a custom-made mini-me.

Which is what makes the whole "model-of-myself" trend kind of strange. There is a difference between wanting to see a wide spectrum of dolls, to know that you're represented as a valid human being, to own a toy you identify with (hopefully unthinkingly) and needing your doll to be a replica of you, the child. One is all about imagination; the other is about the opposite.

For children who wish to see their own faces reflected back at them, the toy industry has never before strained so assiduously to please. American Girl, the Mattel-owned company that sells 18-inch dolls with realistic hair and moveable limbs (including a line of historical dolls), offers an array of mannequins that can be configured with Godlike genetic specificity: For $95 to $109, parents can purchase a playmate that mirrors their daughter's hair (blond, red, auburn, caramel, brown, dark brown, brown-black or black-brown), eyes (blue, hazel, green or brown), skin (light, medium or dark), and even attributes such as freckles, bangs, curls and pierced ears.

While they may be contemporaneous phenomena, companies producing a wide range of ethnicities and features, being able to find a doll with glasses or one with a wheelchair, seems to me a very different thing from the mini-idols that every company from Madame Alexander to Bratz is now producing. I feel like the two get conflated, but they're different. I remarked on this phenomenon when Strawberry Shortcake got her infamous makeover: why, I wondered then, do toy companies think a child can't relate to a doll who isn't exactly like herself? I speak purely as a passionate doll-lover, but it seems to me a real lack of understanding of the toy's appeal. Would I have wanted such a thing? Well, for one thing, I never saw a sallow Blythe doll with matted hair (the only approximation that would have come close), but I don't think so. Sure, it would be fun to see yourself mirrored on Christmas morning, and I imagine there's a satisfaction to acquiring each accessory, making the doll's hobbies and wardrobe mirror one's own, but doesn't that get old, fast? That's not a doll that looks like you in the general sense; it's a model of you.

Do Our Dolls Have To Look Like Us? [Wall Street Journal]
Kiri Davis: A Girl Like Me [YouTube]

Snow Job [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:10:00 -0500

[Copper Mountain, Colorado; November 19. Image via Getty]

COPPER MOUNTAIN, CO - NOVEMBER 19: Laurenne Ross of the Women's US Alpine Ski Team poses for a portrait during media day on November 19, 2009 in Copper Mountain, Colorado. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Kate Moss "Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels" Backlash [Clips]

Margaret — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:00:00 -0500

Today GMA asked women about recent statements by Kate Moss that seem to endorse anorexia. Said one woman: "Skinny sells. We can be upset about it and we can disagree, but it's not going to change anything." Clip at left.

Kristin's Balancing Act [Snap Judgment]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:50:00 -0500

[Los Angeles, November 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Howling At New Moon : Midnight Screening Is Total Mayhem [Film Schooled]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:40:00 -0500

Two little words appeared on the screen: New. Moon. And as you can hear in this clip, those words caused Twihards to yelp, clap, and shriek.

Why was I even there? I think the books are dumb, and I hated the first film. Well, first of all, I felt like it was my duty, since I did it last year. Second of all, as an amateur anthropologist, dilettante and pop culture junkie, I feel required to keep up with the zeitgeist. Plus, maybe the new director (Chris Weitz) would improve the feel of the film? Last but not least, two words: Buff Werewolf.

So there I was, scooting through the rain in downtown Manhattan to a theater where the line went out of the lobby and wrapped around itself into a weird storage area where ladders were lying on the floor.

As my friend Workhorse and I settled into the line, the young lady in front of us assessed the wait and proclaimed, "I should have brought my computer, I could have done my homework."

"We're the oldest ones here," Workhorse whispered to me. It was mostly true: teens and twenty-somethings lined the walls of the waiting room. Workhorse and I are firmly entrenched in our 30s. When we did see one older guy, he had a young girl with braces with him. Daughter? Niece? Neither of us had that excuse.

"This movie is romantic," I warned Workhorse. "Are you going to cry?"
"I might cover my eyes if it's scary," he replied.
I frowned: "You didn't cover your eyes in the first one."
"I was too busy rolling them."

When we got to our seats I heard the 19-ish girl next to me say to her friend, "I can't believe you haven't read the books!"

I have read the books. Well, the first one, the second one, and half of the third one. I found them hypnotic, yet frustrating: The writing wasn't great and the story dragged; yet I was always curious to know: What happens next?

And such is New Moon. The filmmakers claimed they wanted to keep the movie close to the books, and they did: It is SO SLOW. The story drags. The drama in the first few minutes — when Bella gets a paper cut in front of a pack of vamps — is only mildly interesting; there's something off in the way she holds up her bloody finger and announces she's been cut — it's just so obvious, lacking in finesse or subtlety. Also: When you get a paper cut, don't you just automatically put you finger in your mouth? Jeez.

Anyway, next, Edward the Sparkle Vamp promptly breaks up with Bella (the girl next to me cried a little.) And then, for a long time, nothing happens. Bella mopes, has nightmares, goes through the motions. In the film, there's a montage to indicate that October, November and December pass while she is catatonic from misery, and it felt almost like her mourning process was happening in real time. IT WAS TEDIOUS. Plus, every time she interacted with the long-haired, fully clothed Buff Werewolf, all I could think was, "CUT YOUR HAIR AND TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF AND GET THIS MOVIE STARTED." More naked werewolves, less of the morose girl.

Through the film, Bella is narrating in a voiceover, but the conceit is that she is writing to her vampire friend Alice. Every scene without dialog begins, "Alice." and then "I am blah blah blah." If you play a drinking game when you go see this movie, drink every time she says "Alice" and you'll be wasted an hour in.

Time went by. The movie started at 12:20 and Bella didn't piece together that the werewolf is a werewolf until almost 2am. Her relationship with Jacob the Buff Werewolf is actually really sweet, and he seems like a better choice for her than brooding Edward, but that's just me. (Team Jacob?) The biggest problem is that Bella is a crappy heroine. She doesn't enunciate, she's incredibly passive, and I'm pretty sure she's codependent.

There were a few moments when the Buff Werewolf's dilemma — going through something and not being able to tell anyone — seemed like a metaphor for coming out of the closet, but that was probably just me trying to make things more interesting.

I laughed when Bella took VIRGIN airways to Italy; and the visuals of her running through the Little Red Riding Hood convention were actually really beautiful. And between Bella's friends and father, there are quite a few laughs. Unfortunately, the jokes are sideshows to a sluggish, depressing tale. The movie is bad. It's too long and too boring. Bella lacks the kind of spunky, triumphant joie de vivre I admired so much in Buffy. I know I'm not the target audience for New Moon — but as a woman who loves to get swept up in fantasy, drama, romance, vampires and werewolves, I was really and truly open minded; willing to give it a chance. Alas: For a flick with a lot of fangs, it didn't have much bite.

I did enjoy this:

And this:

But that's about it, so save your twelve bucks.

Earlier: Twilight At Midnight: Smells Like Teen Spirit

Let's Get Biblical [It's Fundamental]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:30:00 -0500

Amazing. Just amazing. [Daily Dish]