Jezebel

Are These the First Pictures of Blue Ivy Carter? [Dirt Bag]

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:00:00 EST

Behold Blue Ivy Carter! She is so beautiful and perfect, and it's sort of hard to believe it's actually her. The photos surfaced on Tumblr a little while ago, and they sure do look genuine—there's even a hand-written note signed by the Carter Family. More »

See the Triumphant Return of the 'Super Bass' Girls (Now With Original Lyrics) [Video]

Madeleine Davies — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:45:00 EST

Sophia Grace and her tragically mute hype girl Rosie (they say she hasn't talked since the orphanage burned down, poor thing) were back on Ellen this week, this time performing Turn My Swag On by Keri Hilson. These two girls are always adorable, but when Sophia Grace throws in her own lyrics? They're also unstoppable. More »

Khloe Kardashian Takes a Ride in the Kotex Mobile [Tweet Beat]

Madeleine Davies — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:30:00 EST

In this weekend edition of Tweet Beat, Khloe Kardashian has upgraded from the cotton pony, Justin Bieber wants us to listen, Margret Cho will kick your ass and Olivia Wilde knows what makes a girl feel special. More »

10 Things You May Have Missed On TV This Week [Video]

Madeleine Davies — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:10:00 EST

In this week's TV roundup, Downton's staff might be headed towards a big change, relationships are made and broken inside Ikea on 30 Rock, Die Antwoord freaks out David Letterman, and Portlandia gets into Battlestar. More »

The Night Belongs To Chloe Grace Moretz [Video]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:50:00 EST

The actress, whom you may have seen in Kick Ass, Let Me In, or Hugo, turns 15 today. The character of Hit Girl in Kick Ass was controversial for her ultraviolence and foul language, but in an interview, Chloe said: "I've been raised to think, and I know, that cussing isn't cool; it makes you look unintelligent and stupid. That's how I've been raised. So I can actually say I've never uttered a syllable of a curse-word in my life. Behind closed doors with my friends, they might do it, but I don't." Enjoy a few clips of Chloe: One from an Interview photo shoot, a snippet of Chloe as Hit Girl, and a Skype video in which Chloe lip-syncs "Don't Stop Believin.'" And a bonus video of the PS22 Chorus singing Rihanna, just cuz. This here's your open thread, guys. Have a fantastic weekend. See you Monday! More »

WTF Happened To Whitney Houston the Other Night? [Whitney Houston]

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:30:00 EST

Earlier this week, Whitney was spotted leaving the Hollywood nightclub Tru with a sweaty mess, with scratches on her arm, blood dripping down her leg and wig askew. As she stumbled to her car, she exhibited an array of emotions, from sullen, to angry, to boastful, to flattered, and serene (if that's what you could call it) before she blew the crowd a kiss and got in her car. More »

Margaret Cho to Karl Lagerfeld: Fuck You and Your Fucking Glasses [Weighty Issues]

Margaret Cho — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 18:10:00 EST

You should hide behind that fan Karl Lagerfeld, shame on you, for calling Adele "a little bit fat." Who are you? What is the point of saying that? What are you trying to prove? Why are you trying to cut a bitch down? Shame shame shame. More »

Sometimes, Love Falls on You [Stick Figures]

Dana Zemack — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:50:00 EST

Dana Zemack has been making stick figure comics since she was 12. This week, she made one just for us. More »

Genius Chimp Is Smarter Than You With Your Dumb Human Brain [Video]

Madeleine Davies — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:30:00 EST

Ayumu is an 11-year-old chimpanzee raised at Kyoto University in Japan. He is also a total braniac that can solve difficult numerical puzzles in 60 milliseconds. Oh, boy. This is how Rise of the Planet of the Apes starts, isn't it? More »

FreeCreditScore.com Folks Want Nothing To Do With Courtney Stodden, Thank You Very Much [Video]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:10:00 EST

Hey, remember that craptastic commercial featuring Courtney Stodden as a mermaid that was so ridiculous some suspected it must be amateur absurdist performance art video? Close! Because the folks at FreeCreditScore.com would like for you to know that they did not, repeat, not hire Ms. Stodden to appear in any kind of advertisement for their brand whatsoever. More »

Ex-Komen Exec Predictably Claims Planned Parenthood Betrayed Her [Disgrace For The Cure]

Anna North — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:50:00 EST

In a new interview, ousted Susan G. Komen VP Karen Handel claims the defunding of Planned Parenthood was all supposed to be a big secret — and Planned Parenthood acted like a "bully" by going public. Why do we not buy this? More »

If The Millionaire Matchmaker Also Had Real Estate Listings, This Is What You'd Get [Dating]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:30:00 EST

Bravo has given the greenlight to a new show, Love Broker, in which two best friends — one a real estate agent, and one a matchmaker — set up male clients in New York City. It's not exactly "sign here and get an apartment and a girlfriend," but every now and then, it does happen: "Sometimes, after selling an apartment, we sign [the buyer] up to find their [life] partners," Love Broker's Jennifer Zucher says. The truth is, I suspect a lot of people wouldn't mind outsourcing this kind of stuff: Way way back in the day, we had limited choices in terms of living spaces — this cave or that one — and either you just hooked up with whomever wasn't your brother, or the elders told you where to live and who to hang with. Now we're so busy and the world is so big it's hard to figure all this shit out. Plus, real estate can be a major factor in love lives: Some people won't date other people based on their neighborhood/borough/commute time. And if Pretty In Pink taught us anything, it's that your feelings about someone can change when you see what kind of house they live in. More »

TGIF! [Snap Judgment]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:20:00 EST

Lorrie writes: "I'm a proofreader on the side, so Emerson really gets into my work." Images via email. More »

What Guys Think About the Hair Down There [Guysourcing]

Anna North — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 16:10:00 EST

Welcome back to Guysourcing, where a panel of helpful gentlemen answer your questions! This week, we asked, (again by reader request — keep 'em coming, readers!) "What do you expect to see, pubic-hair-wise, when the pants come off? And what are your reactions to your partners' choice? Completely shaven? Landing strip? Trimmed? Au naturel? Do you have a preference?" Below, guys share their pubic preferences: More »

STD Website Just Like Facebook, if Facebook Accused You of Having an STD [STDs]

Madeleine Davies — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:50:00 EST

It's almost Valentine's Day! Want to hear something romantic? There's a chance your name and photo is on a site where anyone — seriously, anyone — can accuse you of carrying an STD. Better yet, the site is completely open to the public and there's practically nothing you can do about it. More »

It's Sick That Vinny Is Considered the 'Nice One' [Video]

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:30:00 EST

It's sort of universally understood that The Situation is a slimeball borderline molester and that Paul D. is barely any better with his seemingly pathological need to pick have sex with a different woman every night only to have her driven away by a cab before his bed grows cold or his dick gets dry. So given his roommates, I guess that by comparison, Vinny seems like a halfway decent guy. But is he? In this clip, he's not only objectifying the woman he has sex with, but he insults her on top of it, referring to her as "a 5 or a 6" on the 1 - 10 scale. I mean, naturally, these girls are partially responsible for being on the show at all for signing releases—particularly because, this being the fifth season, they've witnessed how hookups are portrayed—but seeing as how they are always picked up at clubs, I question how sober they are when they actually sign the release forms. I would think that the tactics used to get those girls' signatures are far more aggressive and unethical than those used by the douche bags that are trying to get laid. More »

Has Your Cat Infected You With a Mind-Controlling Parasite? Probably. [Cats]

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:10:00 EST

Nature is capable of engineering some pretty crazy stuff, so maybe it shouldn't come as a surprise that many of us are infected with a parasite that has quietly invaded our brain and is probably, as we speak, affecting things like how we drive, whether we like the smell of cat pee, how social we are, and even how we see the world. When you put it like that, it sounds insane. If that were actually true, certainly we would already know about it, right? Nope. But now we do. More »

Why in the World Would Kanye Return to Fashion Week? [Fashion]

Olivia Fleming — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:55:00 EST

The only good thing about Kayne West's debut as a "fashion designer" last season was that he didn't cry when he took his final bow — we're looking at you Lindsay Lohan. Reviews went from terrible ("Good thing Kayne West has a day job") to merciless ("Kanye West's fashion debut was like being subjected to an hour long MRI scan — but not as much fun"). More »

A History of Geeky Glasses, and Why We Love Them [Uniform]

Kristen Philipkoski — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:35:00 EST

When Buddy Holly finally conceded to glasses, his vision was already 20-800. He had tried some of the earliest contact lenses. They became unbearable after about 10 minutes. So he got glasses. His first frames had thick plastic at the top, with a thinner, less obtrusive metal frame for the bottom half. More »

The Shippers: Television's Most Romance-Obsessed Fans [TV]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:15:00 EST

Pete and Olivia on Fringe. Jack and Liz on 30 Rock. Booth and Bones on Bones. Beckett and Castle, Scully and Mulder, Buffy and Angel, Xena and Gabrielle. To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question. Sometimes a TV series stirs not only the imagination, but the heart… and the loins. The new issue of Entertainment Weekly features a cover story about the sexy love triangle on The Vampire Diaries, as well as a supplemental essay, "Just Do It," in which Jeff Jensen discusses the culture of "shippers," fans who are deeply invested in the romantic relationship between fictional characters. Jensen seems to think that all shippers really want is to see their favorite couples be together. But is this true? Do we actually want our One True Pairings to be together? Or is the longing the best part? More »

Michelle Obama Did Not Spend $50k on Fancy Lingerie After All [Rag Trade]

Jenna Sauers — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:50:00 EST

The Telegraph newspaper has issued a rare apology and full retraction of an earlier article. The reason? The newspaper claimed that Michelle Obama had had an Agent Provocateur store in Manhattan closed down during business hours so that she could go on a $50,000 lingerie shopping spree in privacy. Also with Obama at this event was a high-spending Qatari princess. The story seemed fishy — Agent Provocateur released a statement saying it never commented publicly on its high-profile customers, and the White House issued a flat denial — but with this retraction comes an acknowledgement that the whole shopping trip described by the Telegraph was actually a complete fiction. "We would like to make clear that the 'shopping spree' involving Her Highness Sheikha Moza and Michelle Obama that we referred to in fact never occurred," writes the editors of the paper. "We apologise for the distress and embarrassment this article caused." [Telegraph] More »

Obama's Birth Control Compromise Is Actually Pretty Good [Pill Baby Pill]

Anna North — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:18:00 EST

Remember when we said the birth control compromise Obama would announce today for religious employees wouldn't satisfy anyone? Well, we are actually satisfied! (Mostly, anyhow.) More »

Think Like a Man, Dress Like a Mess [Good/bad/ugly]

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:45:00 EST

For last night's premiere of Think Like a Man—the biggest nightmare of a romantic comedy for so many reasons—the red carpet fashions seemed to set the tone for what's sure to be a cinematic shitshow. More »

The Couple That Talks Together Stays Together [Relationships]

Anna North — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:15:00 EST

A new study has some potentially heartwarming news: for couples, a good conversation can help relieve the stress of an argument. But not just any conversation works: at least one of the partners has to get really immersed in the talk. More »

Brave Girl Kicks and Screams to Save Herself From Being Kidnapped [Rescues]

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:45:00 EST

A 7-year-old girl is safe and sound after a man attempted to kidnap her earlier this week in the toy aisle of a Walmart in Georgia. Brittney Baxter was looking at toys when a man started talking to her and then grabbed her, covering her mouth. She kicked him and screamed until he let her go, which you can see on this surveillance footage. Her mother was just a few aisles away and couldn't believe what had happened. Luckily, no one was injured. The creep who did this, Thomas Andrew Woods, was already on probation for the 2004 killing of his uncle and is now in custody. He is being charged with attempted kidnapping. Major props to Brittney for having the presence of mind to protect herself in what must have been a terrifying situation. More »

Rick Santorum Says Women Aren't Fit for Combat Because They're Just So Emotional [Video]

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:20:00 EST

Pretty much every time he opens his mouth, Rick Santorum manages to commit some kind of flagrant foul, but yesterday he really delivered a doozy. This time it was on the matter of ladies in combat, and Santorum was quick to praise the women of the military, saying he "wants to create every opportunity for women to be able to serve this country." He should have stopped right there, because after that he stepped into a big old pile of horse shit. More »

Steve Carrell Has Three Weeks to Live and He's Gonna Spend Them With Keira Knightley [Video]

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:45:00 EST

That's the premise of Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, an apocalyptic romcom crashing into theaters this summer. The title seems to be based on a song by Chris Cornell, and the plot unfolds thusly: An asteroid named Mathilda is heading towards Earth, and people are trying to figure out what the fuck to do with their final days. Steve Carrell plays Dodge, a man looking for the one who got away, and Keira Knightley plays Penny, his neighbor who decides to help him. More »

Doting Father Discovers Daughter's Facebook Rant, Pumps Her Laptop Full of Bullets [Video]

Madeleine Davies — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:20:00 EST

When this father discovered his daughter's bratty rant about him on Facebook, he decided to make a rant of his own. The only difference is his (which he thankfully decided to videotape) ended with him shooting a round of hollow-point bullets into his entitled kid's laptop to ensure that she doesn't do it again. Texas forever. More »

Obama to Announce Birth-Control Compromise That Satisfies No One [Pill Baby Pill]

Anna North — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:00:00 EST

Obama's reportedly going to announce some sort of compromise today on the requirement that religious employers cover birth control. What's the compromise? No one really knows yet. But apparently it's not going to make anybody happy. More »

How Badly Do You Want to Work at Home? [Work]

Cassie Murdoch — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:30:00 EST

How badly do you want to be a telecommuter? It may seem preferable to a lengthy drive followed by sitting in a cubicle hive for hours at a time, while being forced to endure the banal conversations of those around you as you try to get things done. But just how much would you give up to get it? More »

Recovering Bulimic Lady Gaga is Sick of the Diet Wars [Video]

Luke Malone — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 09:00:00 EST

Though Lady Gaga's day wardrobe often consists of little more than some Saran Wrap and oversized sunglasses, she confessed she wasn't always so free and easy when it comes to body image and struggled with bulimia during high school. Speaking at a conference called It's Our Turn at an LA school, Gaga shared her story when a girl admitted to struggling with body issues and asked her how she got to be so confident. "I used to throw up all the time in high school. So I'm not that confident. I wanted to be a skinny little ballerina but I was a voluptuous little Italian girl whose dad had meatballs on the table every night," she said, adding that she stopped when she realized the stomach acid was impacting negatively on her vocal chords. "Weight is still a struggle. Every video I'm in, every magazine cover, they stretch you – they make you perfect. It's not real life ... I'm gonna say this about girls: The dieting wars have got to stop. Everyone just knock it off. Because at the end of the day, it's affecting kids your age. And it's making girls sick." [Page Six] More »

Make Your Engagement Extra Special by Proposing at Pizza Hut [Proposals]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:55:00 EST

Asking someone to marry you is one of life's most amazing events; so what better place to do it than at Pizza Hut, one of the most amazing places on the planet. For the bargain price of just $10,010, you can get a complete Pizza Hut proposal package. That may seem a bit pricey for what is not necessarily the most gourmet pizza pie, but before you balk, you should know they provide the ring! And they also throw in limo service, a videographer, a photographer, flowers, fireworks, and...$10 worth of pizza and breadsticks to chow down on after she says yes. (Or you could hide the ring under a slice of pepperoni and propose mid-meal, if you want to make in an extra greasy engagement.) This is one can't lose meal deal, because there is no girl in the world who would say no to a question popped with pizza. You'd better act quickly though. They're only offering 10 of these packages, and you've got to buy before Valentine's Day. More »

Terrible Judge Says Woman Fired Over Pumping Breast Milk Wasn't Discriminated Against [Discrimination]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:15:00 EST

In a curious decision, a judge in Texas has ruled that a woman who was fired after she asked for a place in the office to pump her breast milk was not discriminated against. Donnicia Venters was working at a debt collection agency called Houston Funding in 2008 when she gave birth to a daughter. As she was about to come back from maternity leave, she asked the company's vice president for a private place in the office to pump her breast milk, and she was suddenly told her position had been filled. She then got a back-dated termination notice a week later, which cited "job abandonment" as the cause. More »

An Awkward Moment with Lindsay Lohan, Woody Allen, and Soon-Yi [Snap Judgment]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:30:00 EST

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 08: (L-R) Soon-Yi Previn, Lindsay Lohan, and Woody Allen attend the amfAR New York Gala To Kick Off Fall 2012 Fashion Week at Cipriani Wall Street on February 8, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images) More »

Amazing Little Girl Can Give Better Directions Than Any GPS [Video]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:45:00 EST

Republican Politician Offers a Heartwarming Defense of Gay Marriage [Video]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:05:00 EST

Comment of the Day: A Union Divided Might Actually Be Awesome [Reader Roundup]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:30:00 EST

While Rick Santorum was raking in campaign cash, mcstabbypants was busy pondering what the rest of us could do to retain our sanity: More »

Gwyneth Paltrow Goes All Out For Blue Ivy's Baby Gift [Dirt Bag]

Cassie Murdoch — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 20:00:00 EST

What do you get for the BFF who has everything and then also has a baby? Well, if you're Gwyneth Paltrow, you buy your pal Beyoncé a top of the line Bugaboo Cameleon stroller—retail price $979. Nothing but the best for Blue Ivy™. But here's a question: what the hell are Beyoncé and Jay-Z going to do with a stroller? That child is not going to see the light of day until she already knows how to walk, or maybe she won't even need to walk because she'll be carried aloft on a platform everywhere she goes. Actually, maybe they could use it to push the baby around inside her 2,200-square-foot nursery. Either way, props to the Goop for the nice gesture. [Us] More »

RuPaul in 'Dragton Abbey' [TV]

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:45:00 EST

Next Wednesday on The Soup, RuPaul and some queens will star in a skit called "Dragton Abbey." It looks like Ru is Carson. We're hoping Joel McHale is the Dowager Countess. More »