Jezebel

Palin 2012 : SNL Gives Us A Terrifying Glimpse Of A Palin Presidency [Clips]

hortense — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:20:00 -0500

Capitalizing on the success of both 2012 and the Sarah Palin Going Rogue publicity blitz, Saturday Night Live created a movie trailer that encapsulates all of our worst fears: Palin 2012. The apocalypse awaits, and it wears Bumpits.

Live From Jezebel, It's Saturday Night! [SNL Live Thread]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 23:10:00 -0500

Let's hope tonight's episode, featuring host Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the Dave Matthews Band, is an improvement over last week's fairly disastrous January Jones episode. Will JGL get things back on track? Will Tina Fey make an appearance? Let's find out.

Senate Votes To Move Health Care Bill Forward [Breaking]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:15:00 -0500

By a vote of 60-39, the United States Senate has just voted to move forward with the health care bill, opening the bill up to debate on the Senate floor, a process that will begin after Thanksgiving. [AP]

Kay Jewelers Has Decided To Give Us The Creepiest Commercial Of All Time For The Holidays [Badvertising]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:50:00 -0500

It is not unusual for jewelry stores to push diamond rings and necklaces as "the perfect holiday gift." It is unusual, however, for said jewelry stores to set their romantic holiday ad in the middle of a horror movie.

To push their "Love's Embrace" collection, Kay has decided that true love is best represented by a man who appears to be a psychopath and his ridiculously co-dependent girlfriend. I'd blame Twilight for this mess, but honestly, Twilight looks like a romantic comedy filled with healthy relationships compared to the scene that unfolds in the Kay Cabin of Doom. I'm pretty sure we're supposed to find this commercial incredibly romantic and dreamy, but jiminy crickets, is that guy's voice the creepiest voice of all time or what? When he says, "I'm right here...and I always will be," my instinct is to yell "Run, you idiot, run!!! Every kill begins with Kay!!!" The woman, however, swept away by her stupid pendant, instead chooses to embrace the man and say, "Don't let go...ever." Ah, creepy, creepy co-dependent psychopathic cabin love. Isn't that what the season is all about?

Saturday Night Social [Weekend Warriors]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:15:00 -0500

Once again, it's time for our Saturday Night Social. Don't forget: we're also having an SNL live thread tonight, so come on back and watch the (hopefully decent) show with your fellow commenters. Or just hang here, if you please.

As always, let's keep things light and so on and so forth. Here's a song to get you started:

Thanks for reading and commenting today, have a safe and happy Saturday night, and I'll see you in the morning.

[Image via Natalie Dee.]

Rihanna On Chris Brown: "I Really Hope Young Men Can Learn From It" [Notable/quotable]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:45:00 -0500

"Even more than the girls, the men really need to learn from it," Rihanna tells The Guardian about her assault by Chris Brown, "Because everyone's focusing on the women, but the problem isn't the women." [Guardian]

With Liberty And Health Care For All Some [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:30:00 -0500

[Washington, D.C., November 21. Image via Getty.]

WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 21: Michelle Poland of Bryan's Road, MD, rallies against the Senate's health care reform bill outside Capitol Hill on November 21, 2009 in Washington, DC. The Senate is expected to cast a procedural vote on the measure later today after Senate Democrats said they secured enough votes needed to propel major health care legislation to the floor for debate. (Photo by Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images)

SNL Live Thread Tonight! [Reminders]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:10:00 -0500

Though last week's episode was terrible, we're going to have a live thread once again, in the hopes that host Joseph Gordon-Levitt (and, uh, the Dave Matthews Band, I guess) will turn things around a bit.

Betty Draper Is Clearly Not A Member Of The Wolf Pack [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:00:00 -0500

[Los Angeles, November 20. Image via Getty.]

Pictures From Levi Johnston's Playgirl Shoot Leak, Are NSFW, Possibly Life [Nsfw]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:20:00 -0500

A tipster has sent in a few leaked shots from Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot, and, well, it's basically what everyone expected. Johnston hits the shower and shows some skin. I suppose it's better if you just see for yourself.

Believe it or not, Levi is clothed in several pictures. In looking at this outfit, I can't help but feel they tried to Cullen him up a little bit.

Though in the next shot, he is clearly Team Jacob.

Though Johnston doesn't go full-frontal, he does show his backside quite a bit. Here's something I learned today: black & white photography doesn't hide tan lines.

This, in my opinion, is the best picture in the set. But that's because it's more about what you can't see than what you can see.

I honestly find many of the pictures a bit depressing, to be honest, because Levi appears to have dead eyes throughout the entire shoot. He looks bored and slightly embarrassed by the whole thing. I guess it's all in the way you see it, though. It's more likely that I'm the one who is slightly bored and embarrassed by this, and I'm projecting. Maybe that's his version of Sexyface? Or perhaps his take on "smizing?"

I predict there will be a lot of people out there who are going to hate that towel.

This is the pic that I imagine will get the most attention. Partly for Johnston's body, and partly for his extremely lush armpit hair.

So there you have it, world. The father of Sarah Palin's grandkid is half-naked in the shower. Doesn't he look thrilled?

Taylor Has _____ In The Bag [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:40:00 -0500

[London, November 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Prosecutor In Amanda Knox Trial Pushes For Life In Prison [Law And Order]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:00:00 -0500

After seven hours of closing arguments, the prosecutor in the Amanda Knox trial has rested his case, stating that he believes Knox and her ex-boyfriend, Rafael Sollecito, should both spend life in prison should they be convicted of murder.

Knox and Sollecito are accused of murdering Knox's roommate, Meredith Kercher, during what the prosecution claims was a drug-fueled sex game gone terribly wrong. A third suspect in the murder, Rudy Guede, has already been convicted of homicide and sexual assault and sentenced to 30 years in prison, though he is currently in the process of appealing. Knox has been painted by the prosecution as a jealous, hate-filled roommate who sought revenge of sorts on Kercher, backing up this characterization by presenting a knife they believe is the murder weapon; a knife that has Knox's DNA on the handle and Kircher's DNA on the blade.

Responding to the charges, Knox tearfully told the court that the prosecution's characterization of the night was "pure fantasy," and stating "Meredith was my friend, and I didn't hate her." Knox's family, meanwhile, remains optimistic, even going so far as to purchase a ticket home for Knox, so that she may rejoin them in Washington state should she be found innocent.

Amanda Knox To Jury: Charges Pure Fantasy [CBS]
Lawyer: Prosecution Wants Life Sentences In Knox Murder Case [CNN]
Parents Buy Ticket Home To Seattle For Amanda Knox[Seattle Times]
Life Sentence Sought In Italy For U.S. Student, Amanda Knox [NYTimes]

Will We Be Seeing Tina Fey On SNL Tonight? [Clips]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:45:00 -0500

Tina Fey recently did a bit of her Sarah Palin impression during the Ad Council Annual Dinner. With the 30 Rock ratings struggling, do you think she'll show up for a Going Rogue skit during tonight's SNL? [CBS]

Know Your Rights [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:15:00 -0500

[Gaza City, November 20. Image via Getty.]

A Palestinian girl wears a UNICEF wristband during a ceremony in Gaza City marking the 20th anniversary of the adoption of the Convention of the Rights of the Child on November 20, 2009. AFP PHOTO/MOHAMMED ABED (Photo credit should read MOHAMMED ABED/AFP/Getty Images)

Liz Jones Turns In Her "Recession Woes" Piece, But Will It Change Anything? [Keeping Up With The Jones]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:45:00 -0500

After realizing her insane spending habits, which include a "£26,000 bat sanctuary," are to blame for her enormous debts, Liz Jones decided to try to live on £64.30 (or roughly $106) per week...and she actually learned something. Sort of.

It is very easy to mock Jones; her column is often tone-deaf and condescending, and she seems to take pride in ripping down the "little people" who just don't seem to understand her way of life. As is the case with many recession based pieces, Jones took this opportunity to play poverty for a week or so, noting that her experiences without the comfort of her credit cards taught her that "Money puts you in a thoughtless cocoon. It was as if I'd been wearing really dark (designer, obviously) shades and someone had rudely whipped them off."

Jones is shocked by the costs of beauty treatments, food, and transportation, noting that she's laughed at when she doesn't have the proper fare on a bus and humiliated that she has to shave her own legs for the first time in decades. It is your standard "how DO poor people get by?" article, though there are moments were I actually felt quite sorry for Jones, notably in a de Maupassant moment wherein she attempts to pawn a set of pearls her father gave her when she was 18 and discovers that the pearls are fake and ultimately worthless. "He pushed them back under the thick security glass. I started to cry," she writes, "Not because my dad had bought me plastic pearls, passing them off as real ones. But because my parents had been unable to buy nice things."

This is Jones' basic problem: she equates things with success. She cries because her parents didn't have the money to buy her the real thing, not because she's realized that the "real thing" isn't what made those pearls so important to her. Jones' life is measured in brands and belongings, and she's willing to overlook the fact that even though her "experiment" eventually ends, she's still thousands of dollars in debt and ultimately should be living frugally in order to pay her damn bills. But as much as she protests otherwise, I have a feeling Liz Jones will keep buying bat sanctuaries, and Liz Jones will keep acting stunned that some people take the bus, and Liz Jones will keep writing pieces about how brave it is to try to walk away from an extravagant life in order to face reality. Every so often she picks up a stone and attempts to smash the facade she's carried for so long. Unfortunately, she lives in a plexiglas house, and the stones she throws don't even make a dent.

Liz Jones: What Happened When I Tried To Live On £65 A Week [DailyMail]

Meet Her Halfway [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:00:00 -0500

[Los Angeles, November 20. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Senator Landrieu She'll Vote To Push Health Care Bill Forward [Breaking]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 13:40:00 -0500

Senator Mary Landrieu has announced that she will vote in yes on a procedural vote being held this evening in the Senate; the vote will determine whether or not the health care bill will go forward in the Senate. [WSJ]

Update: Senator Blanche Lincoln of Arkansas has also stated that she, too, will vote to push the bill forward, which gives the Democrats the 60 votes they need to avoid a Republican filibuster. [CNN]

Ladies, It's Your Fault That The Perverted Bubbles In Your Shower Exist [Badvertising]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 13:20:00 -0500

The folks at Method soap believe that you deserve to know everything about the chemicals you place in your shower. And if you don't, well, then you deserve to be sexually harassed by a group of perverted bubbles.

I had to watch this commercial a few times to really get a feeling for it; my first reaction was, "creepy, but I get it," though on subsequent views I started getting creeped out to the point where the joke simply wasn't funny anymore. I understand the point of the commercial: you'll pay the price if you don't know what kinds of chemicals you're spraying in your house. But I'm really tired of the "advocacy" that relies upon humiliating women to push a point (see also: PETA).

Why couldn't the dirty bubbles get drunk on their own chemicals and trash the bathroom? Why couldn't they leave graffiti all over the shower walls? Why couldn't they "move in" and start stinking up the place? Why does a woman have to get in the shower and get naked in front of a bunch of pervy bubbles, who essentially tell her she deserves it for putting them there in the first place (sound familiar?) so that Method soap can scare us all into switching over from Scrubbing Bubbles? The woman is seriously humiliated by the bubbles, who compliment her on her "core" and scream "Loofah! Loofah!" over and over again as they watch her wash up. It's supposed to be funny. So why does it make me feel so gross?

Perhaps I'm missing something. What say you, commenters?

Get Naked, Say The Pervy Scrubbing Bubbles [AdFreak]

Shoes, Shadows, And SexyFace: Jennifer Lopez And Her Alter Ego "Lola" Make Their Video Debut [Videobreakdown]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:45:00 -0500

Oh, dear. Jennifer Lopez's new video, "Fresh Out The Oven," is now online and seems to take much of its inspiration from Leighton Meester's sexyface crapfest of a few weeks ago, "Somebody To Love." Let's break it down, shall we?

Let's start with the actual video. It's absolutely terrible, and was directed by Jonas Akerlund, who should probably know better.

The video is technically by Lopez's character "Lola," (I know), and according to JustJared.com, is meant to be "just a warmup track" before her real album drops in January. The "warmup song" kicks off with actual directions on how to dance. "You got your drink in your left hand. Put your right hand on your hips." It's like the hokey pokey for terrible club songs.

Maybe Leighton Meester was in on this whole "Lola" thing, and decided to help J-Lo warm things up by using the exact same shot in her "Somebody to Love" video, no? Or perhaps both of them are really big Rocky Horror fans.

I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you that 75% of this video is comprised of shots of J-Lo's shoes. It's completely ridiculous, but not entirely surprising when you consider that the "official" lead-off single for her album is titled "Louboutins." Classy! As former Idolator editor Maura Johnston once wrote, "what better way to entice your potential audience in a time where unemployment in the U.S. is officially hovering around the 10% mark (the real numbers are even less pretty) than to sing an ode to expensive shoes? It's like Sex And The City never got canceled! $25 cosmos for everyone, you guys!"

Get enough of these shoes yet? No!? Well you're in luck, because there are about 9000 shots exactly like this throughout the video. We barely get a chance to see Jennifer, er, Lola's face.

But when we do, it's SexyFace!

Poor Lola. She thinks her fancy shoes will distract us from lyrics like "Be real you can say who you are/ Everybody say that you doctor at the bar." I think Lola should just stop listening to what everyone says at the bar. People say crazy things at the bar! Like, "I'm a doctor," or "You should totally record and make a video for this piece of crap song."

Straight up, now tell me: where have we seen this shot before?

There's a very awkward scene in this video where "Lola" rocks back and forth on her bed for no apparent reason while the chorus, "fresh out the oven" plays in the background. It all seems very...not so fresh out the oven. Like she has food poisoning. Or like she's trying to hold in her disgust for this entire concept.

The video does have some nice shots in it; here, we're reminded that Jennifer Lopez is actually a great dancer. Too bad it also reminds us that she's not a great singer, and that the song includes the line "You say you want the cookie (yeah)/You've gonna wait for the cookie/No touchy touchy only looky looky." Woof. Limp Bizkit's "Nookie" looks poetic by comparison.

I swear, you guys, there are at least 8 shots of this particular shoe during this scene. The camera flashes away, then flashes back to the shoe, and continues doing this in a pattern that makes you feel like you're being brainwashed. "The shoes are hot. The shoes are hot. You will forget the rest of this shitshow. Fresh Out The Oven. Zack Morris is the blond Tom Cruise."

Oh yeah: there's also a secondary plot wherein Pitbull, who is featured on the track, is being grabbed by tons of women. Later in the video, the walls start grabbing him. I don't know what any of this is supposed to mean. I think we're in a haunted house with an demonic oven in it. Something is fresh out the oven, and it's not going to stop until we all buy Louboutins and break it off here or break it off there.

This gold thing has something to do with something, but I have no idea what it is or why it's important. Is this what just came out the oven? What is happening here, you guys?!

Oh, I get it now! Lola is a demented cat dancing in a haunted house while random people dance around her and various shots of Pitbull being attacked by hands and someone who enjoys writhing around in Louboutins wanders the same sad hallways. Somewhere, something is fresh out the oven. Some might say it's love. Some might say it's lust. After watching this video, however, I'm fairly certain that it's a big steaming turd.

Dear Jennifer Lopez, Why Don't You Just Take All Your Money And Go Away Somewhere Fancy And Leave Us Alone [Idolator]
Jennifer Lopez Fresh Out The Oven Music Video [Just Jared]

Highs And Lows [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500

[Los Angeles, November 20. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Taylor Lautner And His Army Of Woo Girls Blow Edward Cullen Off The Stage [Twihards]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:35:00 -0500

While telling Jimmy Kimmel about his workout routine for New Moon Taylor Lautner let it slip that he needed to put "something in [his] mouth every two hours." Upon hearing this, the audience completely lost their minds.

It is clear to me now that Taylor Lautner is living in an extended episode of Saved by the Bell, and that every remotely sexual thing he says, intentional or no, will be greeted with a wave of "woooooooooooo!" from the ladies in the audience. He has become the A.C. Slater of Twilight: He takes off his shirt, shows his muscles, smiles a bit, and the ladies go wild. So far, he hasn't worn pleated jeans or a pink tank top, but it's only a matter of time. Pattinson, meanwhile, almost seems relieved by the attention on Lautner, and who can blame him, really. I suppose it's nice to sit back and hear the girls screaming at someone else for a change.

Up, Up, And Away [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:15:00 -0500

[New York, November 19. Image via Getty.]

A woman goes up in the air with balloons during the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at the Lexington Armory in New York November 19, 2009. The show will be broadcast December 1, 2009 on CBS. AFP PHOTO / TIMOTHY A. CLARY (Photo credit should read TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images)

Taylor And Taylor Are Probably Not Getting Married, John Mayer Continues To Have Problems With The Ladies [Dirt Bag]

hortense — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:45:00 -0500

A source claims that Taylor Lautner has proposed to Taylor Swift. The source was last spotted running down the street screaming, "It's true! Now stay away from Bella! You're ruining everything! Team Edwaarrrrddd!" Not really. But maybe? [ShowbizSpy]

"It's crazy to me that in my head, that being 32 and dating women is going to get me in trouble. I can't even explain to you how terrible that feels, that I equate dating a woman with punishment, shame, guilt, disappointment, reproach, reprimand, persecution. It's a nightmare."John Mayer [NYTimes]
Kristen Scott Thomas will also be co-starring in the upcoming Bel Ami, alongside Uma Thurman and Robert Pattinson, as "one of Pattinson's conquests." [DailyExpress]
Brad Pitt, meanwhile, will be fighting off aliens in the Bermuda Triangle for an upcoming adaptation of the video game Dark Void. [DailyExpress.]
Heidi Klum hit the runway just five weeks after the birth of her daughter, Lou, for the Victoria's Secret fashion show in New York City. "I embrace that I have more curves right now," she says. [DailyMail]
Klum also legally changed her name to Heidi Samuel yesterday, taking her husband, Seal's surname. It's not clear yet if she'll go by Heidi Samuel professionally. [People]
"We are engaged, and Darren and I are completely committed to ‘until death do us part,' although we haven't made it official with the paperwork yet. It's not for any political reason or that we're waiting for this or for that, but maybe one day we will have an official ceremony."-Rachel Weisz on her relationship with Darren Aronofsky. [JustJared]
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson snuck out of the official New Moon afterparty in order to spend time at another club with Joan Jett. Pattinson was spotted singing along to Pulp's "Common People," which means I'm obligated to like him now. [USWeekly]
Amy Winehouse smokes cigarettes after she leaves the gym. [TheSun]
"I like to wear crazy stuff. I mean, if I'm hanging out at home watching TV… But I like expressing myself, I like stuff that's not typical. I like being different. Being different and being eccentric feels normal to me." -Adam Lambert [JustJared]
Nicole Richie is back home after spending time in the hospital in order to battle pneumonia. "But don't worry," her boyfriend Joel Madden notes, "all is well and we are home with no problems." [People]
"Oprah Winfrey is first and foremost one of my dearest friends and obviously the person who taught me everything I know about television. Her show was home for me for five of the most exciting years of my life. The Oprah Winfrey Show is the gold standard and I know that she will succeed at whatever she chooses to do next."-Dr. Phil. [E!]
50 Cent says he may settle down someday: "I think it could happen. You know, it has to be at the right time. I mean, you see Em make a decision to go home. He didn't want to wake up one morning and Hailie be grown. You know, your life in general, you gotta make choices at different points." [MTV]
The famous glove that Michael Jackson wore during his first public performance of the moonwalk is being auctioned off today; pre-auction estimates place the glove's value at $40,000-60,000. [Yahoo]
Project Runway winner Irena Shabayeva attempts to explain why she had "the bitch edit" on this season's show. [EW]
Nick Lachey is set to host an a cappella singing contest for NBC. You know what that means! It's time to Do It, Rockapella! [People]
Kim Kardashian is striking back at Star magazine for insinuating that she's had plastic surgery, writing on her blog: "It's no secret I contour my nose now to make the bump go away! I guess it's a compliment to my makeup artist that he does such a good job contouring my nose that it appears smaller. But hey, Star mag thinks it looks smaller... yay! My dream come true, hahaha! Stories like this are so funny! I love that there's a Dr who I've never even met giving his 'professional' opinion on my face!" [KimKardashian]
Hugh Hefner says that his favorite book is The Great Gatsby, the love of his life is his current girlfriend, Crystal Harris, and that Robert Downey Jr. is being talked about as a potential Hefner in an upcoming film based on his life. [Guardian]
James Roppo a senior VP of sales at Island/Def Jam records, was arrested yesterday after a mall event he organized featuring tween sensation Justin Bieber got out of control, with "10,000 screaming fans" showing up to get autographs from the singer. [NYDN]
"And then there are the paparazzi, who always want you to fail. Last night when I arrived they were all going, ‘Smile, smile'. I was smiling but they were shouting, ‘You're so f***ing boring'. Then one fell into a flower pot. That made me laugh a lot. I hate them. There are actors who want that attention, but I don't care about any of that." -Robert Pattinson [TimesOnline]
"I've been blessed to be able to be eclectic, and I am thankful for that. As I got older, with my work, I became aware of the responsibility of film, and I feel one of the best ways I can apply myself as an actor is to go beyond movie stardom and celebrity. These movies, these so-called "popcorn movies," or "family movies," actually provide something quite beautiful and something quite necessary — which is a family bonding experience. So God bless the popcorn film. Especially movies where you can take the kids, because I remember looking forward to seeing these movies with my parents, and if I can give that back, I'm going to do it. I don't care if people have criticism for it or not, I think it's a good thing."-Nicolas Cage [Film.com]

Oprah : 25 Years Of Screaming Celebrities' Names [Clips]

Tracie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:00:00 -0500

Television will never be the same after Oprah goes off the air in 2011. If we had a "Favorite Things" list about O, in the top spot would be the way the talk-show host introduces celebrity guests. Mashup at left.

Earlier: Oprah's Favorite Things 2007: The Audience Freaks Out!

Her Number One Fan [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:50:00 -0500

[London, November 20. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Miley's Fatal Bus Crash; Vatican Official Condemns Twilight 's "Deviant Message" [Dirt Bag (After Dark)]

Margaret — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:40:00 -0500

Last night, one of the four buses in Miley Cyrus' tour caravan swerved off the road in Virginia and crashed. The driver was killed, and one other person was injured.

It's unclear if the driver died in the crash, or if he died at the wheel, causing the accident. Miley's personal bus was not involved in the accident and the concert they were heading to in North Carolina is still on. [TMZ, TMZ]
This statement was posted on Miley Cyrus' website: "We are deeply saddened by the loss of Bill 'Uncle Bill' Douglas... Members of our tour are like members of our family. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family in the midst of this tragedy. He will truly be missed." [People]
A judge threw out a case filed by an Asian woman named Lucie Kim on behalf of Asian-Americans in L.A. against Miley Cyrus for making squinty eyes in a photo. [TMZ]
Michael Lohan claims he has a contract that could be the "smoking gun" in TLC's case against Jon Gosselin. Lohan says it's a contract between himself, Gosselin, Mike Heller (the son of Jon's lawyer) and Hailey Glassman, which led to Jon being paid for outside appearances that violated his TLC deal, even though it's unsigned. [Radar Online]
The good news: The final episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 will air on Monday. Jon and Kate will take the kids on separate outings, and "individually, Jon and Kate reflect on what the past has meant and what the future might hold." The bad news: A TLC spokeswoman says, "We are focusing on the launch of Kate's new series in early spring." [Us]
In yet another creditor's claim, against Michael Jackson's estate, a company called Video & Audio Center said it is owed $128,482 for installing the TV system at Neverland Ranch. [TMZ]
Joel Madden says Nicole Richie is home resting after being hospitalized with pneumonia. "So I stepped off the plane after a month out of the country, and basically went straight to the hospital for the week," he wrote on his website. "But don't worry all is well and we are home with no problems." [People]
Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib has been sentenced to 45 days in jail and 36 months probation after pleading guilty to leaving the scene of an accident. [TMZ]
Flight attendant Lisa Wilson is suing Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony because she claims their "personal protection dog" "growled and lunged at her," and "headbutted her leg and she fell and seriously injured her back." Wilson claims the dog was "obviously dangerous" and should have been sent to counseling. [Us]
Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz's son Bronx Mowgli turned one today. Ashlee Tweeted yesterday: "BX's 1st bday tomorrow!" she wrote. "My angel is going to be a year!! The greatest year of my life." Pete Tweeted: "Happy birthday bx. you dont have twitter and cant read this. Thanks to all my friends that recorded lullabies. cant believe its been a year." [Us]
Lily Allen, who urged the British government to crack down on illegal file sharing, said in a radio interview, "If someone comes up with a burnt copy of my CD and offers it to you for £4 I haven't a problem with that as long as the person buying it places some kind of value on my music." [Daily Express]
Carrie Prejean's brother Billy Arnone talked to Radar Online about her sex tapes and said, "If they were put in front of me I'd probably watch it." [Radar Online]
In other sketchy family member news, Paris Hilton's mom revealed that her daughter wanted to get breast implants. Kathy Hilton said, "At one point [Paris] was like 'I wanna do this and that, I'm so flat!' but then all of a sudden she was like 'I love it. I don't care. I love it.' I'm proud of that; I think that's really nice." [Daily Express]
Wesley Snipes' is appealing an "unreasonable" three-year prison sentence. He was convicted last year of failing to file his income tax returns for three years, but his lawyers argued today that he should have been granted a hearing to decide whether the trial should have been in New York instead of Florida. During the trial, Snipes explained that he's an idealistic artist "unschooled in the science of law and finance." [AP]
The IRS issued a tax lien against Joe Francis for about $34,000,000 and now he's asking a judge to order the agency to unfreeze his money because he's on the brink of bankruptcy. [TMZ]
Roman Polanski's lawyer says his client won't agree voluntarily to being extradited to the U.S. "We also maintain that Mr Polanski did not face a fair trial in Los Angeles," he said. "For all these reasons, among others, his position remains unchanged: he will not accept being extradited to the United States." [Reuters]
On a radio show Rihanna said of her relationship with Chris Brown, "There are a lot of ... places that we've been to together, music, different things that come up that are reminders of your ex... When [his music] comes on the radio, I don't ... turn it off. I like his music... I've gotten over it, but there are definitely constant reminders ... songs that were our favorite songs, or hit songs." [People]
Halle Berry, who has experienced domestic abuse herself, says of Rihanna, "Any time a woman frees herself from that kind of bondage and that kind of situation I'm proud." [Access Hollywood]
Ha. In this video from four yeas ago Taylor Lautner says, "My dad says I can't date until I'm 28, but I'll have to negotiate that one down a little." [People]
The Roman Catholic Church is bashing Twilight. A Vatican official said, "The theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that as ever is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element. It is once again that age-old trick or ideal formula of using extremes to make an impact at the box office. This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern." [Contact Music]
New Moon made $26.3 million during midnight showings at North American box offices last night, breaking the record set by Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. [Reuters]
Susan Boyle said she was "shocked" when she lost America's Got Talent: "Sure, I mean, I am thrilled for Diversity; they deserved it. But I was working so hard, lost in the midst of all the excitement and yes, I felt the dream may be over after not picking up the winner's prize. Who would not?" [CBS News]
Dave Navarro says he's a fan of his ex-wife Carmen Electra's girl-on-girl strip/sex tape. [TMZ]
"You can't make music as a famous person," says John Mayer. "Famous people make really bad records – so I make music as a musician. I've read people say I was the shit, and I've read people say I am shit. I don't have to prove anything any more – all I have to do is play. Now my motivation is not so that people know my name, it's not so I can make money, it's not so I can meet girls – my motivation is to prove to people that you can buck the trend: that it's not an absolute that if you can be really successful, then you're gonna start sucking." [The Guardian]
Yesterday, Rex Lee, who plays Lloyd on Entourage said crew members "occasionally" make fun of his ethnicity and homosexuality on set. The show's creator Doug Ellin says he's "shocked and horrified" and "will be speaking to everybody before we start filming again in March. It's not something condoned or acceptable." [TMZ]
We can't handle any more Real Housewives drama, but if you want to know about the "infidelity, booze brawls, computer hacking," and physical threats" involved in new Orange County cast member Alexis Bellino's divorce read on: [Star]
Derek Hough says his sister Julianne Hough broke up with Chuck Wicks because, "She's 21 years old and her career is skyrocketing right now and it's tough to sustain a relationship, especially with somebody who's so much older than her." [People]
Ashley Jensen, who recently became a mother, said: "To be honest, I'm stumbling from day to day at the moment. Just getting to grips with feeding and not sleeping. It's all about routine, and it's very all-consuming. I had to feed him before I came out, which is why I was a little bit late, even though he wasn't really due a feed. And now I'm worried about whether my breasts are going to start lactating! You can't be away from him for too long. One thing it has given me is a real respect for womankind. Giving birth is amazing, and such a great leveller. It doesn't matter who you are – whether you're Mrs Beverly Hills with your Botox, or someone living in a caravan in Idaho. You both go through that." [The Independent]
"I think for me the most satisfying thing is going out with my first headlining tour and having every show sell out. That was something that I never dreamed would be so quick to happen. Putting Madison Square Garden on sale and having it be sold out in 59 seconds. Like I can't believe that. I'm still completely blown away by that." — Taylor Swift [CNN]
Eva Mendes says she was excited to work on Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, "Because Werner Herzog has been on my hit list for a while. I think he's a cinematic god and I think he's unparalleled. I think he's so prolific and he's such an iconoclast-you know, he's it. Working with him was a dream come true. I know that [Nicholas Cage] felt similarly. Obviously, I worked with Nic on Ghost Rider-a big popcorn movie-which is nothing like this. But I got to know Nic and the way he works and I really just like him as a person so I knew his personality and I thought, "Oh gosh, him and Werner Herzog together? They're going to kill it." [Maxim]
Gayle King onOprah Winfrey ending her show: "I think that Oprah always makes the best decision for herself. I really do. And I have a feeling she will come up with some things to do. She has a very full life … We don't need to worry about her filling her time, I promise you that! Life is good for her." [People]

Stick A Fork In It [Hi/goodbye]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:30:00 -0500

Superfudge! Otherwise known as the title of a Judy Blume book or, the fancy version of a popular supermarket candy given its due thanks to National Peanut Butter Fudge Day. Dig in - see you Monday. [Nibble]

Eli Roth Attempts Glitter Vampire Look [Tweet Beat]

Tracie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:20:00 -0500

Today in Tweet Beat, Eli Roth doesn't recommend glitter for men, Martha Stewart parties with Diddy, and Jon Favreau cuts his hair with a Flowbee.

Heavy Lifting [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:10:00 -0500

[Washington, D.C., November 20. Image via Getty]

WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 20: A Republican Senate aide carries a copy of the 20-pound health care reform bill into a news conference at the U.S. Capitol November 20, 2009 in Washington, DC. The Republican senators accused the Obama Administration of rationing health care after a panel of doctors announced that women should begin getting regular mammogram at age 50 instead of 40. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Speaks For Itself [Fashion Show]

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:00:00 -0500

You want pageantry? You want SEXXXY? At the Victoria's Secret fashion show, you'll get it, along with a touch of Lil' Abner, a jot of Xanadu, and a whole lotta weird - whether you want it or not.

"Mother Nature, she is very sexy, yes?"

"Have you ever heard the expression "kissed by a muse"? Well, that's what I am. I'm a muse."

"Woo-hoo! Col-lege! Yay! Higher Education! Studying stuff rules!"

"This way to Macbeth auditions?"

"Surprise! I'm not really a butterfly, it was a costume! It was me all along! Are you surprised?"

"I'm an allegory for the gold standard. Crossed with a gentleman beetle. Obviously."

Wait, was I not supposed to really cut myself in half? Oh."

Wanna go to the Dog-patch Sadie Hawkins Day dance?

"Seriously? You're sure this is what real elves wear?"

"Bring me my platinum-encrusted dog, a martini straight-up and my house-boy. Now."

"Um, my balloon popped. Could you help me blow it up?"

[Images via Getty]

Sign Of The Cross [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:50:00 -0500

[Los Angeles, November 20. Image via WENN]

Inflight Mag Apologetic Over Holocaust Memorial Fashion Shoot [Fashion Shoah]

Irin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:40:00 -0500

EasyJet has apologized for a fashion shoot at the Berlin Holocaust Memorial that appeared in their inflight magazine. So much for all that academic handwringing about the aestheticization of the Holocaust.

The magazine didn't have permission to shoot at the Memorial, but apparently it wasn't hard to sneak by security. In its apology, first reported in Britain's The New Statesman, easyJet said,

"The magazine is produced by INK — an external publishing house, and easyJet were not aware of the images until they appeared in print. As a consequence we are now reviewing our relationship with the publisher and are withdrawing this month's issue from all flights."

"easyJet prides itself on bringing together a wide range of cultures and beliefs and is appalled by this insensitive and inconsiderate photo-shoot, the aim of which was to highlight some of Berlin's iconic landmarks and certainly no offence was meant."

No word on who the photographer and stylist on the shoot were. We called over to INK Publishing's Brooklyn offices asking for more info and were referred to their London headquarters. We'll update when we hear back.

easyJet Grounds In-Flight Magazine After Holocaust Gaffe [The New Statesman, via The Awl]

Martin Amis: My Book On Victims Of The Sexual Revolution Is Totally Feminist [Revolutionary Read]

Anna N. — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:30:00 -0500

Martin Amis says he's written "a very feminist book" based on his sister, who was "pathologically promiscuous" and "one of the most spectacular victims of the [sexual] revolution." He adds, "It would have needed the Taliban to protect her." [Guardian]

On Leaving Porn, Smiling. [Xxx]

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:20:00 -0500

Porn star Penny Flame is now Jennie Ketcham, a transition she's documenting:

Recently, Penny Flame, a well-known adult film star, quit porn to pursue an art career. She also writes a blog, Becoming Jennie, about her transition to a new life - with what SFGate's Violet Blue calls "a sex-positive stance on porn, women and self-defined sexuality. And most of all, a cool attitude of sexual responsibility." In this she's distinct from other ex-porn stars who, Ketcham feels, perpetuate the stereotypes and either present themselves as victims of the industry or still want to profit from being sex symbols. As she writes,

I hate the common exit strategy, hate that girls join the 'god squad' or feel ashamed of the choices they made but I understand it. I can see that it's much easier to say 'porn did this to me, or that' but at the end of the day, we are all responsible for the choices we make. I chose to be a porn star. Now I'm choosing not to be. It's the beautifully terrible thing about free will: we can do whatever we like but we must be held accountable for whatever we do. Just because I don't want to be a porn star today doesn't mean that I should feel ashamed to have been one seven months ago. It's something I did and I'm not afraid to say I did it, loved doing it, and just don't feel like it's what I need to do anymore. Shame and guilt are useless emotions. The only way I would feel ashamed is if I'd decided being a porn star isn't what's best for me and then continued doing it anyway.

To some ears, this may seem like a simplified - if pragmatic - attitude towards something that can't be separated from its moral and social implications. And there's an understandable ambivalence to some of Ketcham's writings. She feel she had become a

woman that exists for the sole purpose of others' enjoyment. I realized I have no identity as Jennie Ketcham and that I am incapable of developing sincere and intimate relationships. I don't blame this problem on being in pornography, it was something I've struggled with for a long time, but to continue as an adult performer would just perpetuate the issues. I quit because I wanted an identity outside of being a porn star. I wanted to be Jennie again.

Ketcham's point is well-taken, and her insistence on personal accountability is laudable. She's right that porn did not "cause" her issues. As she says, "the notion that my worth revolves around my sexuality is something I struggle with on a daily basis... In fact, that's a big reason of why I entered adult in the first place." And it's much healthier to say that she's proud of her career, that "I wouldn't be in the wonderful place I am today if it were not for where I'd been as a porn star, and Penny Flame" than to draw a curtain of shame over a significant portion of her life.

But, as a public voice - which is what she's becoming, in a new book as well as the blog - Ketcham's feels, in some ways, more conflicted than "porn-positive." She did a wide range of work - some woman-positive, but much of it of the sort Ariel Levy, for one, would condemn as harmful. As such, there's no reason her attitude should be doctrinaire, either; she had a good experience but the industry is not monolithic. Ketcham has a chance to say something important - and getting out of the industry, with sex-positive feelings of self-worth in tact, is already saying a lot - and we'll be reading.

Leaving Porn On Her Terms [SFGate]
Becoming Jennie

Up And At 'Em [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:10:00 -0500

[London, November 20. Image via Getty]

A performer drops herself into a bath of broken glass at the 'Erotica' show at the Olympia exhibition centre in west London, on November 20, 2009. The show runs from November 20 until November 22 and features merchandise and items from all aspects of the sex industry. AFP PHOTO/Leon Neal (Photo credit should read LEON NEAL/AFP/Getty Images)

Gabby Sidibe's Emotional Audition For Precious [Clips]

Dodai — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:00:00 -0500

Gabourey Sibide was on Oprah today, and brought with her some footage from when she auditioned for Precious director Lee Daniels. She nailed it, obviously.

An Apple A Day [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:50:00 -0500

[Vancouver, November 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Young, Rich People In D.C. Feel Guilty About Youth, Riches [Class Rage]

Sadie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:40:00 -0500

Anyone who's seen the masterpiece of documentary filmmaking Born Rich knows that with great wealth comes great tsuris: and especially in this economy! Oy, the guilt!

In a Washington Post piece titled "grappling with a wealth of guilt," we learn about the particular burdens of reluctant noblesse oblige, or at least the Adams-Morgan version thereof.

They are young people who have inherited or stand to inherit big money, and they are spending their post-college years living modestly and working to address the needs of the poor, hungry and politically disadvantaged. But the privilege they grew up with and the money coming their way nag at them in ways few people not in their position can fathom.

Now, it's easy to be snide about this sort of thing - dismiss it as a sort of earnest, modern-day Petit Trianon - which the article is quick to address. The meeting the author describes was, he says,

a rare chance for members of the Resource Generation, a nonprofit group whose 35-and-younger members devote themselves to philanthropic work for social justice, to talk about their guilt and their views on social inequalities without fear of eye-rolling from people who might view them as spoiled rich kids playing at helping the downtrodden.

Later he adds, "The young wealthy are keenly aware that there is little public sympathy for the moral doubts they struggle with. In a harsh economy, few people worry about the insecurities of heirs in their 20s and 30s who choose to work in social change philanthropy."

And yes, everyone in the piece does good work: they give to charity; one is a teacher; several work for non-profits. And they, too, have health and family problems. Nevertheless, parts of the article still read like parody, and the D.C. Young People with whom I spoke were not amused by what was perceived as a "seriously doubtful" "non-phenomenon" and unsuccessful attempt to be "edgy and contrarian." (Hey, Zagat is onto something!) Said one denizen sourly, "All I know is, when I used to work in a high-end hat boutique for a bit during college breaks, I can assure you that none of the moneyed youths to whom I sold $75 silk headbands appeared to have any serious qualms about the issue." (Different crowd, I guess.) Another queried, "in that picture why does the guy look like he's not standing on anything?" Perhaps the last word goes to the Logan Circle resident who wrote me, "yeah, there are rich people here, but if anything this feels like less of an issue in this economy...because so many of us are relatively lucky, just to be employed, fed, well, and dealing with a "survivor's guilt" that didn't exist a few years ago."

Because, here's the thing: there's a presumption here that the rest of the world is judging people...for being rich and living normally? For giving away money? For being conflicted? And, the thing is, we don't care. Most of us don't mind. Nice person who came into money and does good work? Great. We might envy the security, but I don't think we resent it. One guy in the piece says, "I definitely feel like I am at war between my desires instilled in me to eat out at nice restaurants and my better sense and principles," and I wanted to shout, "it doesn't help anyone if you don't go to a restaurant! Do it! If I had money, I would!" Like D.C., New York is full of rich people, many of them young. Some of them are, like these people, conscientious and civic-minded. Others, in Born Rich. Most of us are aware of this and aren't thinking about or resenting them nearly as much as they seem to imagine.

Here's what I do resent: when people pretend they can afford SoHo lofts on their artist incomes; when they're scrupulous about never paying a cent more than they owe at dinner because they think people are using them; when they complain about having to go on extravagant family vacations; and, most of all, when they talk about buying brownstones in "marginal neighborhoods." That's what we resent: not people having money, not their giving it to charity. I can even understand needing to vent about the guilt - although, don't you kind of get that off your chest? How often do you need to wallow in it? - and it's not their fault that someone wanted to profile them and left them open to cheap cracks from raging creative underclassers like me who, relative to much of the world, is still in a pretty well-fed percentile. It's all degrees of guilt and narcissism and analysis that, ironically, separates us further and further from any of the actual issues we're discussing.

The other evening, my grandfather, born very poor, reflected on feeling guilty "as a former Communist" for now living in such a swank area code. "I really feel like it's a sin," he said. "But at least there are like-minded people in the building." Then the doorman brought up some takeout.

Grappling With A Wealth Of Guilt [Washington Post]

Belle De Jour On Why Some Men Visit Prostitutes [Belle Of The Ball]

Anna N. — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:30:00 -0500

"[M]y clients were men who were addicted to success. They knew I, as a call girl, would respond positively to their advances, whereas outside of the transaction a woman like me might not." — Belle de Jour/Brooke Magnanti [NYT]

Lebanese Singer Sued For Racist Lyrics • Crowd Boos Sarah Palin At Book Signing [Leftovers]

Intern Katy — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:20:00 -0500

• Haifa Wehbe, a famous Lebanese pop singer, has come under fire for singing a song with racist lyrics. The song is from a children's album, and includes the line: "Where is my teddy bear and my Nubian monkey?" •

Nubian representatives say that the line compares black Egyptians to monkeys, and are suing the singer, her record label, and the songwriter. • The man charged with the kidnapping of Shaniya Davis has also been accused of raping and asphyxiating the 5-year-old South Carolina girl. Mario McNeill is being charged with first-degree murder and rape of a child. • Amanda Knox broke down in tears today in court as the prosecution closed their case against her, saying she "harboured hatred" for Meredith Kercher and "killed her to take revenge." • Amanda Knox's parents are so confident she'll be acquitted that they've already bought her a plane ticket home to Seattle. • The British man charged with strangling his own wife on a camping trip was found not guilty on account of a rare disorder, which caused him to murder Christine Thomas in his sleep. "You are a decent man and a devoted husband. I strongly suspect that, not withstanding the circumstances here, you may well be feeling a sense of guilt about what happened that night. In the eyes of the law, you bear no responsibility," said the judge. • Reporter Michael Crowley sat down in a restaurant the other night and found himself sitting two tables away from Sonia Sotomayor. Naturally, he sent out a Tweet, which read: "She left her purse on a chair; stern-faced security guys came back for it about 30 min later." • Soldiers in Sweden are fighting for flame-retardant underwear. The Swedish Conscription Council claims that the female soldiers were promised appropriate bras and panties years ago, but the armed forces has failed to deliver. • Selma Aliye Kavaf, Turkey's minister for women's affairs, says, "The mentality change regarding women's participation in business or political life would take time. Legislation or laws are not enough for women to become active in business life." • A dad from Minnesota claims that during the first three years of his son's life, he spoke to him only in Klingon. The dad says it was part of an experiment, to see whether his kid would pick up the fictional language. He says he stopped when it became clear his son, now 15, preferred English. • Warning: This story is disgusting and highly disturbing. Short version: a gang in Peru has been accused of murdering people in order to collect their fat, which is then sold on the black market for cosmetics. • The highest court in New York has rejected an attempt to throw out two government orders to recognize the rights of same-sex couples married in other states. While this is good news, the ruling was based on a technicality, and did not address the broader human rights issue at stake. • A team of researchers have made headway in understanding how the body metabolizes date rape drugs. They hope that the breakthrough "may provide new clues on how to counteract the drug's effects, or to enhance its metabolism and decrease toxicity for chronic abusers or victims of sexual assault." • A study from the Harvard School of Public Health found a woman's risk of developing multiple sclerosis during her lifetime is doubled if she was obese at age 18. This is the first time MS risk has been linked to obesity. The research was based on the Nurses' Health study, but doctors say "There's no reason to believe that the biological mechanisms would be different." • Ohio State University researchers found that alcoholics over the age of 60 have more than 40 alcoholic drinks a week on average, compared to between 25 and 35 drinks a week on average for younger alcoholics. The findings suggest older alcoholics have developed a tolerance and need to drink even more to get drunk. • A North Carolina doctor could lose his medical license for allegedly poking a patient's thigh and calling her fat and irresponsible for being unemployed and using taxpayer's money to pay for another pregnancy. The doctor admitted he told her that her fat thighs and diabetes could make her go blind. • Could "real" America's love affair with Sarah Palin be coming to a close? In this video an angry mob boos her and calls her a quitter after left a an event in Noblesville, Indiana without signing the books of about 300 families who had been waiting for more than three hours. • A few Indian travel agents are pushing "divorce tourism," package deals designed to help couples salvage their relationship. Viresh Hirjee, chief executive of a Mumbai travel agency, has been sending customers of vacation along with marriage counselors. "We are trying our best to bring the couple together," he said, but warned, "We are not destiny changers." • School officials in Orange County, California warned kids that if they skip school today to see New Moon they'll be marked truant. • The business information analysis firm IBISWorld says that the growing popularity of online dating sites is responsible for Australia's sex industry losing $67.6 million in the past year. "The rapid growth in online services means it has never been easier for like-minded individuals to organize casual liaisons for little or no cost," said IBISWorld analyst Edward Butler. • Barbara Ann Radnofsky, Democratic candidate for attorney general in Texas, says a clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages accidentally banned all marriages in the state. The clause reads: "This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage." Backers of the ban say she's reading too much into the clause for political reasons. • The city of Auckland, New Zealand paid $74,000 to give a 66-foot fiberglass Santa statue a facelift. One of his mechanical eyes had been drooping and people were worried it would scare children. His face has been bandaged and the repairs will be unveiled on Sunday. •