Jezebel

Rick Sanchez Assumes Palin Is Resigning Due To Pregnancy [Clips]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 17:30:00 EDT

Like the doctor at your college's Health Services department who offered, "Maybe you're pregnant" after you came in complaining of a cold, Rick Sanchez has suggested, without any evidence whatsoever, that Sarah Palin may be resigning due to pregnancy. Whaaa?

Gee, Rick, think you could possibly wait until an actual reason is given before jumping the "maybe she's preggo" gun? I know she has a female reproductive system and all, but sometimes women, even Sarah Palin, have reasons for leaving their jobs that go beyond having babies. Maybe you're right, Rick Sanchez, and maybe in a few days you'll be celebrated for your Pregnancy-dar. But as it stands, the comment is way out of line and pretty ridiculous. Bad form, Sanchez. Bad form.

Wait, she's just quitting and using senioritis ... [From Comments]

bananastand — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:33:40 EDT

Wait, she's just quitting and using senioritis as an excuse? Ridiculous.

Sarah Palin: "I'm Not Wired To Operate Under The Same Old Politics As Usual" [Palin Resigns]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:22:00 EDT

In announcing her resignation earlier today, Gov. Sarah Palin touched upon her family, her state, and her plans for the future, her voice seeming unsure and a bit shaken as she delivered her speech. Video after the jump.

A transcript of Palin's speech is up at Alaska.Gov, and actually includes the phrase "Gotta put first things first." No, really.

Palin Announces No Second Term [Alaska.Gov]
Earlier: Sarah Palin Will Not Run For Re-Election, Resigning As Alaska's Governor

Saturday Night 4th Of July Social [Weekend Warriors]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:00:00 EDT

Today, as American hero Bill Pullman (not Paxton, that's the other one) once said, is our Independence Day. Well, technically, tomorrow is our Independence Day, and only if you're an American, but still. You know what I mean.

Things are going to be slower than usual this weekend, because it's a holiday and the United States has pretty much shut down in honor of this day of freedom and liberty and fireworks and an excuse for radios to play non-stop John Cougar Mellencamp songs. It's pretty much one of the slowest news days of the year, as evidenced by my RSS feed, which is filled with stories about women calling 911 over their hamsters disappearing and various recycled Michael Jackson stories that I'm sure everyone has read at least 80 times by now. Still, for those of you who are working, outside of the US, or just hanging around, this is an open thread that will hopefully at least give you something to do with your fellow commenters until things kick back in as usual on Sunday morning. As always, let's keep things light and so on and so forth. Here's a song to get you started:

Have a safe and happy holiday, and I'll see you on Sunday morning!

[Image via Natalie Dee.]

Long Weekends Always Go By So Fast [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:45:00 EDT

[New York, July 2. Image via Getty.]

NEW YORK - JULY 02: A woman makes her way to a train at Manhattan's Penn Station July 2, 2009 in New York City. The AAA in a news release is projecting a 1.9 percent drop in travel over the Fourth of July holiday weekend this year compared to 2008, but that still translates into 37.1 million expected to hit the roads, rails and skies to travel 50 or more miles away from home. (Photo by Chris Hondros/Getty Images)

Sarah Palin Will Not Run For Re-Election, Resigning As Alaska's Governor [Breaking]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:25:00 EDT

GOP sources are claiming that former Vice Presidential candidate Governor Sarah Palin will not be seeking a second term as Alaska's governor and will actually be resigning from her position in a matter of weeks.

"She thinks she has accomplished goals she has set forward," a source tells CNN, "She sees what a positive influence she has had on people's lives from traveling the country in the last year." Tina Fey, get your costume ready, because I think the "Also, You Betcha! Tour: 2009-2012" is about to begin.

Palin Will Not Run For Re-Election [CNN]
Palin Won't Run For Re-Election [WDSU]
Report: Palin Resigning As Alaska Gov [MSNBC]
Transcript Of Palin's Resignation [Alaska.Gov]

Air New Zealand Creates "Nude" Safety Video To Capture Attention Of Passengers [Friendly Skies]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:20:00 EDT

Tired of being ignored by passengers who'd rather read or stare out the window instead of listening to potentially life-saving safety information, the folks at Air New Zealand have released a cheeky in-flight video featuring crew members in body paint.

The video, titled "The Bare Essentials Of Safety," features several crew members wearing "uniforms" made of body paint- a slightly scandalous choice done to draw passengers attention to simple instructions that might make a world of difference in the event of an emergency. Of course, the ads a re also a great way of advertising for the company: the video has already gone viral, and the company has been promoting itself with the slogan "At Air New Zealand, our fares have nothing to hide." Steve Bayliss, the general marketing manager of the company, says of the ads: "We think in tough times there's a premium for making people smile, and it gives the opportunity to stand out in a crowd." Or, perhaps, they just wanted to do something special, for all the airplane-flying ladies of the world?

New Zealand Airline Issues Nude Safety Video"

Kylie Listens To The Music Of The Night [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:05:00 EDT

[Madrid, July 2. Image via Getty.]

In Which Russell Brand Shares His Thoughts On Diddy's White Party [Tweet This]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:45:00 EDT

Russell Brand took to his Twitter yesterday to share his thoughts on Diddy's famous White Party, and what he plans to wear in order to fit the dress code. Click to enlarge. [Russell Brand's Twitter]

Strawberry Shortcake must use this line at ... [From Comments]

hatepaperdoll — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:27:29 EDT

Strawberry Shortcake must use this line at some point: "You thought life was going to be a bowl of cherries, but now: You're in a JAM, bitch!"

Your Next Summer Blockbuster Might Be Strawberry-Scented [Showtime, Synergy]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:00:00 EDT

The news that 80's video game Asteroids will soon be made into a major motion picture got me thinking: why aren't there any action films based on 80s toys primarily aimed at girls? A few suggestions, after the jump.

Strawberry Shortcake: The Fall Of Orange Blossom
Plot: Orange Blossom, once a dear friend of Strawberry Shortcake, moves in with the Peculiar Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak and changes her name to Citrus Frost. All hell breaks loose when she tries to freeze her former fruit-friends into oblivion. Will Strawberry Shortcake save the day?
Tag Line: "Orange You Glad This Shortcake Can Kick Some Ass?"

Care Bears And The Stare Of Doom
Plot: A stomach virus infects Care-A-Lot, causing the Care Bears to fall into a trance, and their patented Care Bear Stare into a weapon that Captain Coldheart aims to use to ruin everything. Only one Care Bear, Funshine Bear, avoids the plague. But does he care enough to stop the end of the world?
Tag Line: "Get Ready To Care....Or Be Taken Care Of."

She-Ra, Princess Of Power
Plot: No, seriously, make this movie. There already is a plot. Just don't cast Megan Fox. That is all.
Tag Line: "For the Honor Of Grayskull!"

Rainbow Brite: Colors That Kill
Plot: Murky Dismal has designed a device that will rid the world of color...and humanity. It's up to Rainbow Brite and her crew to stop the plan through many violent action sequences involving multi-colored lasers and catchphrases like, "He just blue you away!" And "you'll be seeing red after this!"
Tag Line: "These Colors Don't Run...Motherfucker."

Get Along Gang: The Final Battle
Plot: Shit gets real when the Get Along Gang finds itself in the middle of an all-out gang war in a post-apocalyptic world. Can they get along...and survive?
Tagline "The Gang's All Here...To Kick Some Ass."

Jem And The Holograms: Showtime, Synergy
Plot When Synergy is corrupted by a hacker hired by the Misfits, Jerrica Benson and her alter-ego, Jem, go on a crime spree that shocks the nation. Can the Holograms rewire their lead singer before its too late?
Tag Line: "She's Truly Outrageous...And We're All Paying The Price."

Lady Lovely Locks: Locks And Loaded
Plot: When the Russian government decides to take over the world using tiny microchips implanted in hair follicles, it's up to Lady Lovely Locks and the Pixietails to save the day, and the hairstyles of all.
Tagline: "You're About To Get Locked."

And as for the My Little Pony film? Well, that's already been taken care of.

Feel free to add your suggestions (including casting!) in the comments.

'Asteroids' Lands At Universal [Reuters]

Even This Elephant Is Hitting The Picnic Scene [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:00:00 EDT

[Chester, England, July 2. Image via Getty.]

An elephant cools down in the hot weather at Chester Zoo, in Chester, north-west England, on July 2, 2009. Britain's hottest week in years was threatening to become a wash-out today as parts of the country were put on flood alert. As temperatures soared beyond 30C (86F) in parts of Surrey yesterday, the north east of England was hit by a torrential thunderstorm. (ANDREW YATES/AFP/Getty Images)

Write Your Own Celebrity Interview! [Ladymag Madlibs]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:20:00 EDT

Hey crew, have you ever dreamed of writing up your own celebrity interview or trend piece? Well now you can, thanks to these handy dandy ladymag madlibs! Get your thinking caps on and your pencils ready, and let's do this!

When I first met celebrity's name, she was adjective dressed in a designer's name article of clothing, looking both adjective and effortlessly adjective, as always. She'd already ordered—a meal that she adverb pushed around with her fork, smiling as she discussed her latest project. [Ed. note- if this interview takes place in the 1990s, make sure the meal is a chicken Caesar salad. If it takes place in the early 00's, make sure it's an egg white omelet. If it takes place now, make sure it's a frittata with whole grain toast.]

At first , she appears adjective when discussing her role as historical character. "I see a lot of myself in her," she says, "she was a woman faced with many challenges. She also had a vagina, which is another thing we share. That's just so adjective to me. I mean, it's really a role I was born to play."

But the Oscar buzz surrounding title of movie isn't nearly as strong as the buzz surrounding her latest fling with actor. I try to get her to say anything about this actor, even something like, "I don't want to talk about it," so I can justify putting "We ask actress all about her steamy relationship with actor!!!" on the cover of the magazine, which I'm going to do anyway, because it's the only reason anyone will even bother buying this fluff piece, probably, because I mean, really, how many times can you sit down and read about actress eating a meal and talking about playing a type of role as if it's the most fascinating thing you've ever heard? She eats and she acts! She eats, and she does her job! Celebrities! They're just like us!!! It doesn't matter that actor is just as boring in interviews: together, they will sell magazines!

"Where do you see yourself in ten years," I ask her, as she stares adverb out the window, pushing her adjective hair behind her adjective ears, displaying her adjective designer earrings. "You'll have to wait and see," she smiles, before getting up and heading out the door. And just as adverb as she came into my life, she is gone, off to her next noun, to play the role she is perhaps best suited to play: herself.

Feel free to post your interviews in the comments!

Disco Saves! [Stayin' Alive]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:50:00 EDT

When Debra Bader's husband, Christopher, collapsed during a walk, the first thing that popped into her head was the Bee Gee's tune "Stayin' Alive,"—and thank goodness, too, as it helped save her husband's life.

Bader tells CNN that after calling 911, she recalled a PSA from the American Heart Association that provided instructions to give chest compressions to a victim to the beat of "Stayin Alive." Bader, with the song in her head, began CPR: "I sang the song and gave directions to the EMTs at the same time. It was like, 'Stayin' alive, stayin' alive — take a right here, take a left here — Stayin' alive, stayin' alive — take this path down here — Stayin' alive, stayin' alive." [CNN]

Count Sparkula Just Wants To Ride His Bicycle, He Wants To Ride His Bike [Snap Judgment]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:15:00 EDT

[New York, July 2. Image via Getty.]

Trouble For Justin And Jessica, Debbie Rowe Sends Mixed Signals Over Custody Battle [Dirt Bag]

hortense — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 10:45:00 EDT

Are Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake on the rocks? "Things don't look good for them right now - they've hit a really rocky spot," says a source. The couple have been dating for two years. [NYDN]

"Justin had to leave dinner once because Jessica was calling him incessantly. They got into a huge screaming match over the phone about how she's always ‘checking up' on him. She's extremely needy and is always keeping tabs on him," says a source, "All his friends think she's really annoying," added the source. "She's always trying to be one of the guys. She and Justin have no chemistry. Justin is partying in London right now. Jessica wanted to go with him, but he wasn't having it. He just wanted to get away with the guys. He needed his space from her." [NYDN]
Contrary to earlier reports which claimed that Debbie Rowe was seeking custody of her biological children with Michael Jackson, her attorney says that Rowe "has not reached a final decision concerning the custody proceedings." [USWeekly]
"It would be a distortion of the truth to allow that single snapshot of a single conversation, to stand as the truth on Debbie's position on this sensitive matter," says Rowe's attorney, Eric M. George. Rowe was recently quoted stating that she wanted her children, as well as a restraining order to keep them away from Jackson's father, Joe. [USWeekly]
Meanwhile, Jackson family members are "terrified" that Blanket's (Jackson's third child who currently has no mother listed on his birth certificate) biological mother may come forward: "Any woman who gave birth to a child on Blanket's birth date and then gave him up for adoption could claim they are the mother and get a DNA test to prove it," says a source. [PageSix]
Is Daria really coming to DVD next year?!? [ONTD]
Sandra Bullocksays she wasn't nervous about her nude scene with Ryan Reynolds because she knew all eyes would be on Ryan: "So that means no one watched me and no one can criticize me. Watch it again, your eyes go to Ryan. You see, if Ryan got naked now and I got naked now I guarantee you unconsciously people would [look at him] and go ‘oh my God, she's naked too but oh my God'."[ShowbizSpy]
Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 23rd birthday yesterday with a lunch date with Samantha Ronson. [DailyMail.]
Johnny Depp says he believes in love at first sight: "I was standing in a hotel in Paris and I saw this back. Literally a back and a neck. And it turned around and looked at me and I was done. That was Vanessa. So two kiddies and 11 years later, I completely understand." [Mirror]
Depp also recently took time out from his Public Enemies promotional tour to visit sick children at Great Ormond Street hospital—dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, of course. "Johnny was so friendly with all the children on the ward and they absolutely loved his pirate outfit.," says a source, "He spoke to lots of the youngsters and staff - and made their day by posing for pictures with them all." [DailyExpress]
Amy Winehouse has been banned from swimming at her St. Lucia resort due to staff concerns: ""Staff have found Amy on a number of occasions collapsed on the grass by the pool after going for a swim," says a source, "There are concerns that one night she won't be able to get out of the water and something tragic will happen." [ShowbizSpy]
Whoops! Rhianna was caught on tape tattooing umbrellas onto three artists at East Side Ink—and she doesn't have a license, which means she could be facing three misdemeanor charges. [TMZ]
Blind Item: "Which Oscar winner almost ruined a recent date? The starlet had so much to drink, she spent the night getting sick in the bathroom." [BlindGossip]
Rupert Grint on his kissing scenes with Emma Watson: "I'll be honest with you: it's not something I'd say I'm dreading. Emma's a pretty girl. Have Daniel or I ever hit on Emma? Well, she's quite popular with the cast. As for who has the worst crush on her – me or Radcliffe – I'd rather not say." [Telegraph]

A Case For Choosing Words Carefully When Remembering Michael Jackson [Touchy Feely]

Tracie — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:00:00 EDT

It's been one week since Michael Jackson's death, and in the ensuing 7 days, friends and fans have been everywhere, expressing both admiration and grief. However, such talk about how Jackson "touched" people could be misconstrued, considering recent, controversial history.

Chanel Preview - Now With Subtitles! [A La Mode]

Sadie — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:45:00 EDT

We were psyched enough to just look at the costumes in the Coco Avant Chanel preview...but now we get to read for ourselves how defiant and sassy and modern pre-WWII movie-magic Coco was! [New York via Elle]

"Fertility Is Women's Sacred Birthright" [Goddess Bless]

Sadie — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:30:00 EDT

We've long been infuriated and fascinated by the creepy "Our Bodies, Ourselves-style First Response Fertility ads.

The moment we pass from womanhood to motherhood, we cross a threshold. For many of us, that step is filled with wish and worry, hope and how, wonder and when. Fertility is a woman's most sacred birthright. For over twenty years, First Response has been there, helping women answer the most important questions of their lives. Now we bring you new help: the First Response fertility test for women.

From the fertility goddess mumbo-jumbo to the flowing silk robes to the warm color palette to the concerned croon of the narrator, this ad - which at the end of the day, is for something you pee on - is a doozy. As a reader wrote in to Sociological Images, what's with the distinction between "womanhood" and "motherhood?" (While I'm more inclined to ascribe it to the "middle school poetry" school of writing, he's right that it does have the ancillary effect of drawing a distinction between mothergood and sexuality.) "Hope and how?" "Sacred birthright?" Um, The Mists of Avalon called, they want their copy back. As for me, if I buy something like this I think I'd like one that a)tells me what it does and b) doesn't seem like it's being marketed to facilitate the Rhythm Method.

Motherhood As Women's "Most Sacred Birthright" [Sociological Images]
Introducing the NEW! First Response® Fertility Test For Women

When In Roma... [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:15:00 EDT

[Sofia, Bulgaria; July 2. Image via Getty]

A Roma girl watches a pre-election rally of the Bulgarian Socialist Party in a Roma suburb of Sofia on July 2, 2009. Bulgaria's centre-right opposition is poised to defeat the ruling Socialists in a general election on July 5, but will find it difficult to form a stable enough coalition to govern, experts say. According to last-minute opinion polls, Sofia mayor Boyko Borisov and his upstart GERB party will win 28-32 percent of votes, way ahead of Prime Minister Sergey Stanishev and his ex-communist Socialist party with 17-22 percent. AFP PHOTO / DIMITAR DILKOFF (Photo credit should read DIMITAR DILKOFF/AFP/Getty Images)

Author Asks: If Every Man Could Have Gay Sex, Why Would He Need Women? [Strange Questions]

Megan — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:00:00 EDT

Beliefnet writer David Klinghoffer has a theory why women should fight societal acceptance of homosexuality: in a world where men can have sex with men without attendant opprobrium, they won't want anything but. In other words: all men are gay.

Klinghoffer joins the grand new tradition of social conservatives from bestiality-lover Rick Santorum to sister-schtupper Glenn Beck who view social acceptance of same-sex couples through the narrow prism of their own fantasies. At least Klinghoffer's don't involve the family pet!

Klinghoffer does, however, come in the company of another man, Joshua Berman, a professor who argues that without societal strictures condemning male-on-male anal sex, men would undoubtedly prefer it to heterosexual vaginal copulation. His evidence for this is the widespread acceptance of male homosexuality in ancient Rome.

It turns out that where homoeroticism is granted full social sanction, as it was in Rome, it flourishes — so much so, that one writer noted that the emperor Claudius exhibited an unusual trait: he was sexually interested in women alone!

Men, we learn from ancient Rome, will enjoy sex with other men, if there is no social censure.

Well, as Melissa McEwan of Shakesville points out, homoeroticism in ancient Rome was, more or less, limited to the upper classes and involved some pretty strict hierarchical rules: older men topped, younger, lower-status men bottomed. This is rather a far cry from fully consensual homosexuality, and was far more concerned with the sexual pleasure of who was on top.

Berman, with Klinghoffer right behind him, uses (and abuses) the state of male homosexual affairs to determine that male-on-male anal sex is so good that otherwise-heterosexual men would forgo vaginal intercourse all together if they could. Projection, anyone? His evidence, of course, is specious at best: a satirical play in which (one assumes) a woman offers her husband anal sex to stop having it with his boyfriend, and the man's refusal. From one ancient play, Berman and Klinghoffer extrapolate this:

The winners — big time — are homosexual men, because the historical record shows that they can expect their potential pool of partners to expand exponentially. Of note here is that this expanded pool of partners accrues to gay men, but not to homosexual women. At the risk of getting too explicit, I leave it the reader's basic grasp of anatomy to figure out why in ancient Rome a man who found pleasure in a woman, could also find pleasure in a man, while the record shows that a heterosexual woman rarely found sexual satisfaction in the company of another woman.

Basically, male-on-male anal sex is good for the top — and, again, the bottom is left out of the equation — and "the record" (not, obviously, including Greek poet Sappho) reflects that women can't get a good pounding from another woman, so lesbian sex is obviously inferior to penetrative vaginal intercourse.

Berman and Klinghoffer — as one assumes they often do offline — ignore the facts, namely, that many, many women get intense pleasure from cunnilingus and manual or gadget-driven stimulation of their genitalia; that some women — even heterosexual ones — actually don't achieve orgasm any other way; that women have also been known to enjoy anal sex; that some men achieve orgasm through anal penetration; and that not every guy who gets off from anal penetration is homosexual (see: pegging). Then there is this:

The losers from all this will be the vast majority of women. With full social sanction given to homoerotic activity, the historical precedent suggests that tomorrow's women will have a harder time finding and holding on to suitable men. As women will suffer, so will the vitality and stability of the nuclear family.

Klinghoffer, shaken to his core by Berman's revelation, doesn't understand how anyone could take that the wrong way. Or disagree! And he is so not pleased that people are being mean to him - on a blog - so he follows up his post about the joys of anal sex with one that, in effect, accuses gay men of being huge sluts and defines monogamy as "feminine."

Men are unruly in their passions, far more so than women with their natural affinity for monogamy. This is not a stereotype. It's reality. I suspect that women in the lesbian community would confirm that it is so. Normally, men's unruliness is somewhat limited by women. In gay culture, that's not the case at all. An important break on male sexuality has been removed.

Wait, so, even though men would be so entranced how awesome it is to stick your dick in another man's asshole that we need to prevent the social acceptance of homosexuality, access to pussy is now the reason men don't stick their dicks in other men's assholes more often? And here I thought if we just got the man a little bathroom sex, he'd leave us ladies alone.

How Women Will Be Hurt by Gay Marriage [Beliefnet]
How Women Will Be Hurt by Gay Marriage: A Postscript [Beliefnet]

Related: Excerpt From Santorum Interview [Associated Press]
In Things That Surprise Me [Shakesville]
Sappho [Wikipedia]

Earlier: "Conservatives: Just The People You Want In Charge Of Your Sex Life"

Can A Rape Joke Be Funny (Redux)? [Gallows Humor]

Megan — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:45:00 EDT

The Sexist's Amanda Hess is almost as obsessed with rape joke humor as we are, so she's compiled a strong list of The Onion's hits and misses in the rape joke genre. [Washington City Paper]

Keith Urban Says Nicole's Not Pregnant; Funeral Plans Set For Michael [Dirt Bag (After Dark)]

Margaret — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:30:00 EDT

Keith Urban says the rumors that wife Nicole Kidman is pregnant again are not true, but rather, "A little bit of tweaking [of photos] does that..."

The Sun

The private family funeral service for Michael Jackson will be held at 10 a.m. on Tuesday at Forest Lawn in L.A. Then a motorcade will go to either the Staples Center or the Nokia Theater for a public memorial. [TMZ]
According to NBC 4 in L.A., Debbie Rowe said in a phone interview that she's going to fight for custody of Michael Jackson's two oldest children. She said she's seeking a restraining order against Joe Jackson and will submit to a DNA test to prove she's their biological mother. [TMZ]
In a new interview with Details, Quincy Jones said Michael Jackson didn't accept his race. "It's ridiculous, man! Chemical peels and all of it. And I don't understand it. But he obviously didn't want to be black ... You see his kids?" said Quincy, who added that Bubbles the chimp once bit a hole in his daughter's hand. [TMZ]
President Obama says the only reason he hadn't made a statement about Michael Jackson's death is that no one asked him about it. He said today, "I grew up on his music - still have all his stuff on my iPod," in an AP interview, adding that Michael "will go down in history as one of our greatest entertainers. I think that his brilliance as a performer also was paired with a tragic and, in many ways, sad personal life. I'm glad to see that he is being remembered primarily for the great joy that he brought to a lot of people through his extraordinary gifts as an entertainer." [AP]
Lou Ferrigno, who was training Michael Jackson for his London concerts, says that MJ used to prank call him using the name "Omar," the same name he allegedly used to score more prescription drugs. [TMZ]
Michael Jackson was planning to perform a duet with his 12-year-old son Prince at his London concerts. [Us]
You can watch a video of Michael Jackson rehearsing for his summer concerts here: [TMZ]
Here's a description of Neverland from a reporter who toured it yesterday: [MSNBC]
The woman accused of slashing Leonardo DiCaprio at a party in 2005 was arrested in Canada and will be extradited to the U.S. Police finally caught her because she was found guilty of assaulting an ex-boyfriend. [The Daily Express]
A reporter in the Chris Brown assault case may be held in contempt of court because he allegedly posted videos on his website of interviews filmed in the hallway outside the court room, which is against the court's rules. [TMZ]
In response to Megan Fox saying Transformers is "not a movie about acting," Michael Bay said, "Well, that's Megan Fox for you. She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do." [Us]
Now that Neil Patrick Harris has hosted the Tony Awards, he's working on a deal to host the Emmys on September 20. [Variety]
Tom Cruise took Suri to the zoo yesterday in Australia to see a kangaroo. [News.com.au]
Gary Coleman's wife was arrested last night for domestic violence and disorderly conduct at their home in Utah. She allegedly broke household items and Gary was unharmed. [TMZ]
RHONJ Danielle Staub's ex-husband Kevin Maher says she shouldn't have gone on TV because of her shady past. "She helped put a couple of big-time Colombian coke dealers in jail," says Kevin. "These are dangerous men who never forget...and they could be back out on the street now. It's mind-boggling to me that she'd put herself at risk. I believe she's shown incredibly poor judgment by putting herself and her family in the public eye. Now she could be an easy target for some bad men with long memories." [Star]
You can check out Brad Pitt's new Japanese commercial for Softbank here: [Perez Hilton]
Senator Al Franken said that when people call his office and get put on call, they'll hear the Grateful Dead. Franken said: "Yeah, it's going to be my hold music ... in the Senate, which I've noticed is all classical music. I'm going to try and choose American music, Minnesota music." [Politico]
Ray Romano on his upcoming TNT show Men Of A Certain Age, about a group of male friends in their 40s: "I created it with Michael Royce, my friend and writer. It's kind of like Raymond where I was involved in everything. But Raymond at a certain point runs itself ... But this one, there's even more pressure because it's my return to television and those sometimes have a track record of not being good. So I really want to put all the effort into making this good. And even then it may not be what people want or expect. So you never know. But yeah, I want to be involved in all of it. Except if it fails, then I'll say it wasn't me." [Reuters]
Liev Schreiber says of Naomi Watts, "One of the things that is good about our relationship is that we both love acting, so we talk about it a lot. It's our business. We love to watch things and talk about them. We can be really catty about each other and other people's work. We can't help it. It's fun for us to gossip and talk about work. I also think we inspire each other. I like impressing her and I know that she likes impressing me." [The Daily Express]

Lying In State [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:15:00 EDT

[Beijing, July 2. Image via Getty]

A woman walks past a 60th anniversary propaganda billboard in Beijing which reads 'Praise China, pay tribute to the State' on July 2, 2009, showing the protectors of the state: the army, navy and airforce. Three months before the October 1st 60th anniversary of Communist China, a period of tension has set in, as the regime mobilises its sizable security and propaganda apparatus to nip any trouble in the bud. AFP PHOTO/FREDERIC J. BROWN (Photo credit should read FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)

What The Hell Is A Nice Guy™, Anyway? [Finishing]

TatianaTheAnonymousModel — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:00:00 EDT

Today, our favorite sex writer tackles the age-old question of Nice Guys™. Specifically, Do they really finish last? To investigate, Laura Sessions Stepp interviews Britney, a woman who spent five months dating a dude who sounds like a drug dealer.

"He wasn't...gainfully employed...legally?" says Brittany Lynch of her Bad Boy™ boyfriend. Ooookay then!

And in true Bad Boy™ fashion, he didn't make Lynch feel good about herself. "He intimidated me, and put me in a position where I almost felt lower, in some way, and for some reason, it was attractive to me," says Lynch. "I wanted to keep fighting to get to his level. He didn't treat me badly, but he wasn't overly kind." So she dumped him and moved on.

Sessions Stepp also talks to self-identified Nice Guy™ Jorge, who "pretends" to be a Bad Guy™ as a matter of strategy. "I just stopped being nice...from what I see, women like spice to a guy. They don't like overly nice guys. I know guys who are an asshole because they think that's the only approach to really get women." Jorge lives in New York, ladies. (Of course he does.) Watch out for him!

Stephen in Mason, Georgia, lies about his sexual conquests to his friends. "I tried once to have a one-night stand, but it just wasn't for me," he reports. The woman involved mocked him. Asked why he thinks women prefer Bad Boys™, he replies: "I dunno, that's a really good question...maybe they like the challenge?"

Sessions Stepp mentions two studies recently covered in the New Scientist, whose results she characterizes as "The message to guys: Be nice. But not too nice."

But, even leaving aside for a minute the question of whether these Nice Guy™/Bad Boy™ categories are actually as monolithically well-defined as Sessions Stepp (and rom coms, and chick lit, and magazines) would have it, is this actually a correct analysis of the scientific data? It would appear not.

One of the studies mentioned by the New Scientist was a survey of 200 college students — overwhelmingly, people under the age of 22 — that found that higher numbers of partners and higher numbers of brief relationships were reported by men who also were identified as "narcissistic," "deceitful," and "Machiavellian." This does not mean that women "prefer" these guys, or that they have more sex — merely that these "deceitful" young assholes claim to have more partners. And sex researchers know that studies of sexual behavior that rely on self-reported numbers are flawed. Researchers have long attributed the impossible disparity between men's claimed number of partners and women's claimed number of partners to the fact that study subjects often offer socially-desirable answers, as opposed to correct ones, and note that this disparity is so ingrained as to actually constitute a kind of "self-fulfilling prophecy." So these guys, who admit they lie more than the average population, may be lying about all the sex they're having. It's entirely possible that we've created the cultural trope of the Bad Boy™ out of nothing more than string and glue.

Strangely, the more Nice Guys™ adopt Bad Guy™ mannerisms to get ahead, and the more Bad Guys™ try it on by pretending to be Nice™, the more we stubbornly refuse to attribute these facts to a flaw in the system of categorization.

So how about this for sex advice: People are different. Find one you like, and bone him or her. Use protection. Repeat as necessary.

Friends [XKCD]
Why Nice Guys Finish Last [SexReally]
Bad Guys Really Do Get The Most Girls [New Scientist]
The Myth, The Math, The Sex [NYTimes]

Earlier: Is It Too Soon To Call SexReally The Worst Sex Website Ever?
Is There A Worse Dude To Do Than The Reformed Nice Guy?

A Silly Conversation From Jezebel Virtual HQ [Chit Chat]

Dodai — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:45:00 EDT

In which I am the only one who thinks Sasha Obama looks like an adorable little fox. Discussion after the jump.

Cat Killer "Likely To Graduate To Adult Crimes" • Obama Tacitly Supports Transgender Rights [Leftovers]

Intern Katy — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:30:00 EDT

• Newsweek has a morbidly fascinating article on accused cat killer Tyler Weinman in which a clinical social worker who does not treat Weinman discusses the possibility that violence against animals may signal future violent behavior against people. •

• A study of 47 "sending" and 47 "non-sending" Mexican wives found that those whose husbands immigrate to the U.S. for work (the "sending" group) have poorer mental health than the woman with spouses who work nearby. • An agreement signed by the Humane Society of the United States and the Agriculture Department will require animal research facilities to disclose annual reports, which must include "pain and distress information" about the furry test subjects. • Before Lori Drew's acquittal today, Democratic Representative Linda Sanchez had issued a statement in support of the prosecutors in the case. "What Lori Drew did was egregious, and it is time that she be brought to justice," she said. In April, Sanchez introduced the nation's first federal cyberbullying bill. • In a similar but unrelated case, a Los Angeles appeals court has ruled that internet servers like MySpace and FaceBook cannot be held responsible for minors that are sexually assaulted by people they meet on the website. • The Justice Department has let the deadline to appeal a case that awarded a transgender woman $500,000 for discrimination pass this Tuesday. In 2005, Diane Schroer lost a job at the Library of Congress because she disclosed her plans to transition into a woman. Under the Bush Administration, the Justice Department and the Library of Congress unsuccessfully fought the lawsuit, but Obama has decided to let the original ruling stand. • The New Scientist has revealed the most inspirational female scientist, as according to their readers. Madame Curie leads the list, with Rosalind Franklin, Ada Lovelace, and Rachel Carson coming in at numbers two, five, and nine. • A federal appeals court ruled today that a man falsely accused of rape cannot turn around and sue his accuser. "We certainly see this as a victory both for her and for all rape victims similarly situated," said attorney Sarah Prout. • What say you: Is this commercial for Evian featuring babies dancing on rollerskates cute or a little creepy? •

She Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:15:00 EDT

[Krindjabo, Ivory Coast; July 1. Image via Getty]

TO GO WITH AFP STORY BY CHRISTOPHE KOFFI —- A young girl holds a cd with 182 Michael Jackson titles on it on July 1, 2009 in Krindjabo. The people of Krindjabo, the capital of the Sanwi kingdom, want the body of Michael Jackson. 'He was our son, we are asking for his body' the citizens of Krindjabo are saying. Jackson visited Krindjabo in 1992 and was enthroned 'prince' there. AFP PHOTO/ KAMBOU SIA (Photo credit should read KAMBOU SIA/AFP/Getty Images)

"Practical Character Reader" A Lesson In Xenophobia, Racism & Disney Villains [Looks Aren't Everything]

Dodai — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:00:00 EDT

A 1902 book called Vaught's Practical Character Reader, scanned and posted on Sociological Images, demonstrates the false assumption that you can assess a person's character based on his or her physical appearance.

As the blogger, Gwen, points out:

The book is full of images in which the features stereotypically associated with Northern and Western Europeans, or the mythical Aryan race, are associated with sincerity, honestly, a work ethic, and every other positive character trait, whereas large and especially hooked noses and small, hooded, or almond-shaped eyes were indications of negative traits.

What's interesting is that many of these "deceitful" and "unreliable" characteristics are the same ones used to illustrate Disney villains. While Jasmine and Aladdin had large eyes and small noses, look at their enemy, Jafar:

Slanted eyes and a twisted, hooked nose. That's how we "know" he is bad. That's what evil "looks" like.

Snow White had a button sniffer; the evil witch had a large, hooked, decidedly non-Caucasian nose :

The book also speaks of "deceitful" chins:

Much like Cruella de Vil:

Additionally, Ben Franklin types — and Native Americans — are deemed "vicious," because they have broad heads.

Reminiscent of Ursula the sea witch:

While this book is outdated, the idea that you can judge a person by his appearance persists; we often hear people say a woman has "intelligent eyes" or a guy looks like "he couldn't hurt a fly." Even worse are terms like "baby-faced killer," as though one has anything to do with the other.

Helpful Guide to Human Character [Sociological Images]

TGIT [Snap Judgment]

Dodai — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:50:00 EDT

[Tallinn Zoo, Estonia. Image by Eesti Ekspress, Vallo Kruuser via Zooborns.]

Reader Roundup [Commenter Quips]

Dodai — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:40:00 EDT

The comments of the day:

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to: The Light Stripes: "They look like they're in a really fabulous prison: 1: Buffy, dahling, would you pass the toilet hooch? You know how I adore a bit of homemade vino to start the day.
2: Why of course Bunny, I was just about to dip my nib into the hooch as well. How about later we go frolic round the yard and find ourselves a darling little bitch?
1: What a grand idea! Only this time please can we claim one who makes a half decent mojito?
2: Do you even have to ask? I will grab my shank and my boating shoes.
(fin)" We say: Love, love, love it when a Snap J is done properly. Applause! • Best Comment of The Day, in response to Wedded Bliss: "Coming soon: The Channel Utilizing Nasty Tired Stereotypes (C.U.N.T.S.)! C.U.N.T.S. will bring you all the latest woman-hating staples, including...
Playboy Bunnies Beat Each Other Up Then Vomit (Tuesdays, 8pm)
Dykes Gross You Out (Wednesdays, 9pm)
Make Me a Pie, Bitch (Fridays, 9pm)
God Wants You to Have Long Hair (Mondays, 8pm)
Yogurt!!!!!!!! (Mondays, 9pm)
Diet or Die Alone (Thursdays, 10pm)
and
OMG You Better Get Pregnant (Every Day, 12pm, 1pm, 2pm, 3pm, 4pm, 5pm, 6pm)" We say: Don't forget Hot Girls In Swimsuits Make Out With Burgers, at midnight.

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

The Daily Show Takes On The Ironies Of The Burqa Ban [Choose Your Choice]

Megan — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:30:00 EDT

Kristen Schaal thinks it's neat that French President Nicolas Sarkozy wants to empower Muslim women by taking away their choice of wearing a burqa — so much so, she'd like someone to take away her high heels and bulimia.

Of course, Schaal, a Daily Show correspondent, relied heavily on sarcasm and, in the full clip, mayonnaise. Unfortunately, although Schaal and Jon Stewart tackled the irony inherent in a man determining and legislating what forms of dress empower women, they didn't get into the larger issues surrounding the ban, including whether or not outlawing burqas will force Muslim women who wear them — either by choice or coercion — out of the public sphere and behind closed doors... rather than just behind a veil.

The Burqa Ban [Daily Show]

Anna Wintour's Hair: Slim [Hair Apparent]

Sadie — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:20:00 EDT

Hairdresser Charlie Chan: "I tried [to change her hair] but she wouldn't have it any other way...But the bob suits her. It suits a certain face. It works best on a thin, Oriental face, a slim person." [NYMag via NST]

The Lush Life [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:10:00 EDT

[Paris, July 2. Image via Getty]

British artist Alice Newstead, former employee of Lush UK, a 'handmade cosmetics' group, performs hung by shark hooks on July 2, 2009 in a Lush's store in Paris, to protest against 'sharks slaughter'. AFP PHOTO PIERRE VERDY (Photo credit should read PIERRE VERDY/AFP/Getty Images)

What Rap Videos Would Look Like If They Objectified Men [Turning The Tables]

Margaret — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:00:00 EDT

The new video for "Just Got Paid" by Millionaires reverses sexist rap video cliches, with women singing about getting laid and throwing bills at male strippers. But the ladies aren't exactly making a stand against objectifying women.

If you watch the video below on mute, it looks like a satire of barely-clothed female dancers getting hosed down with champagne in many rap videos. The women of Millionaires are first shown at a male strip club wearing menswear-inspired outfits and they don't expose much skin throughout the video. The women continue to party in their limo, and later in the club some of the male dancers are shown wearing collars and being forced to drink champagne out of bowls on the floor.

With the sound on, it's clear why "Just Got Paid" is such a fitting title for the video. Though the song reverses typical gender roles with women rapping about drinking and just looking to hook up, describing it as a feminist commentary on the exploitation of women in music videos would be quite a stretch, especially with lyrics like:

Can you believe i get paid to shake my ass on stage?
We're getting drunk every you're makin minimum wage
We live the life you wish bitch don't say shit!
No talent just lucky but they still wanna fuck me

Millionaires, which consists of sisters Melissa and Allison Green and their friend Dani Artaud, formed in 2007 when the three women started playing with Garageband on their computer. It seems their first songs were created as a joke, but they were listened to more than 32 million times on MySpace, according to Under The Gun Review, and eventually got a record deal.

The group was promoted by MTV, appearing on TRL last year and recording the theme for A Double Shot at Love. They are currently performing on Warped Tour, but have acquired as many critics as fans. Reviewers on iTunes say their music is like "verbal diarrhea" and "the voices make my ears bleed" and even blame them for everything wrong with their generation, with one review declaring that they're the reason there's more "violence/sex/crime associate with young people."

In addition to hating Millionaires because they have no musical talent (which they openly admit), many reviewers comment that they're unladylike and are shaming their parents. Almost all of Millionaires' songs are about binge drinking, sex, and violence, with other songs featuring equally charming lyrics such as:

Look at that fat slut over there
Her dress is so tight, it's making me stare
She's lickin' on that lollipop with her tongue
So lets just shoot her
With our guns!

Stupid and offenisve, yes, but male rappers have said worse things about women and threatened violence in their lyrics...and it's hard to imagine anyone saying they're disgracing their families. Unfortunately, Millionaires are seem to be bragging that they behave like male rappers typically do not because they need to express their passion for shooting "fat sluts" but because they're into gimmicks. There isn't really anything clever about how Millionaires reverse gender roles, and their degradation of men is pointless...and just as bad as the more common alternative.

Below, the video for "Just Got Paid":

Review: Millionaires — Just Got Paid Let's Get Laid EP [Under The Gun Review]
"Just Got Paid" Lyrics [Lyrics Mania]
"Hoe Down" Lyrics [Lyrics Mania]

Winslet Wowed By _______ At Wimbledon [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:50:00 EDT

[London, July 1. Image via Getty]

Drew No Blood [Breaking]

Anna — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:40:00 EDT

Well, this about says it all...for now. "A federal judge on Thursday overturned guilty verdicts against Lori Drew, and issued a directed acquittal on the three misdemeanor charges" [in relation to her harassment of suicide victim Megan Meier]. [Wired]

Great Expecations For A New Mom & Athlete [Modern Motherhood]

Dodai — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:30:00 EDT

Candace Parker, star of WNBA's L.A. Sparks, is currently on maternity leave, but promised her bosses that she'll continue to promote the team. Like many moms, she's tugged by her duties to her newborn and her commitment to her job.

According to the New York Times:

Parker, 23, is determined to buck the conventional wisdom that women can fulfill their potential as professional athletes and as parents as long as they tackle their lives like a to-do list, crossing one item off before starting on the next.
"I'm always the type of person that wants to prove people wrong," she said. "I just want to come back and show that you can be even stronger than before."

Parker's steely resolve and determination are admirable, and she has a husband, a nanny and family members to help her out. Additionally, her coworkers can relate: Five other team members on the Sparks are mothers — including Lisa Leslie — and Carla Christofferson, the Sparks' 41-year-old co-owner, is pregnant.

It's frustrating that Parker has to say she wants to come back "even stronger than before." She's a talented athlete, but clearly feels like she has something to prove. While it's true that Parker hasn't played a competitive game in 10 months, it's not like she suffered a debilitating injury. But her words are an answer to widely-held notions of how motherhood changes a woman — how people expect different, or possibly less of you, especially when it comes to your job. And, even more important: It speaks to the expectations this new mother has placed on herself.

Diapers and Jump Shots: Player Has Her Hands Full [NY Times]

Earlier: Juggling Pregnancy & Career Without Dropping The Ball
Are Women Having Babies Earlier Because They Take Their Careers For Granted?

Jon Gosselin's Match.Com Ad [8 Is Enough]

Margaret — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:20:00 EDT

In the video at left, comedian Jon Cordero impersonates Jon Gosselin in a fake Match.com ad. Like most jokes about the Gosselins, it starts out funny and gets less amusing when you remember there are eight kids involved. [Mediabistro]

The Agony Of The Feet [Snap Judgment]

Anna — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:10:00 EDT

[Pescara, Italy; July 1. Image via Getty]

French Phara Anacharsis (L) and compatriot Aurore Kassamara react after Women's 400m Hurdeles final the XVI Mediterranean Games in Pescara on July 1, 2009. Anacharsis won gold, Kassamara silver. AFP PHOTO / ANDREAS SOLARO (Photo credit should read ANDREAS SOLARO/AFP/Getty Images)