Jalopnik

Roll Bar Stress Test: When You Really, REALLY Need To Pass That Triumph! [Crashes]

Murilee Martin — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:00:00 -0500

A Spec Racer Ford oughta be way faster than a TR6, so you should be able to zip right by on the racetrack... right? Racing tip: always check to see if another SRF is passing you before making your move!

This video is a perennial favorite at 24 Hours of LeMons HQ; those dudes are connoisseurs of crash videos, and it's quite rare to find one in the "slide on the roof for a great distance" genre in which the camera doesn't crap out right after impact. Bonus points for the engine that keeps running after the car slides to a halt.

That was pretty good, but it's more poignant to listen to the anguished howling of a driver who realizes that his Very Expensive Viper is seconds away from an instant 95% depreciation. Hmmm... those interlocking tire walls at Nelson Ledges don't seem to cushion impacts quite as much as advertised.

How Well Organized Is Your Junkyard Fastener Collection? [Question Of The Day]

Murilee Martin — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500

You're at the junkyard pulling some parts, and you toss all the fasteners into your toolbox. Next time you clean out the ol' junkyard toolbox, you'll move all those nuts and bolts and washers to… where?

There's the "dump 'em in a big bucket, let God sort 'em out" method, which saves time up front but means you'll spend hours digging through 100 pounds of greasy junk every time you need a certain bolt. Then there's the "sort 'em obsessively by size/type and put them in eensy, well-labeled drawers for later use" method, which takes for-freakin'-ever but pays dividends when you're working on your Hell Project at 2:00 AM and all the hardware stores are closed.

My method is half-assed organized; I have drawers for broad categories of fasteners (Long Bolts, Lock Washers, Machine Screws, etc.) and mix all the metric and SAE stuff higgledy-piggledy. A few Whitworth bolts have found their way into the mix, just to add to the fun. Hose clamps, weird pressure fittings, gauge senders, and other oddball crap gets quasi-sorted as well. The upshot: after a quarter-century of junkyard scrounging, I've got a big enough collection of hardware to find what I need… if I'm really motivated. How about you?

Soviet Flags and West Virginia Trailer Parks: The Penalties Of The Yeehaw It's Texas 24 Hours Of LeMons [24 Hours Of Lemons]

Murilee Martin — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 14:00:00 -0500

You already know about the Cultural Revolution Penalty, but that wasn't the only special punishment that the LeMons Supreme Court cooked up for those Texas miscreants!

When we fly to a distant state to keep the unruly racers in line, the first thing we ask ourselves is "What do they hate most in these parts?" Then we try to tailor some punishments that jab miscreants where it hurts, as part of our safety-enhancing LeMons Aversion Therapy Program. What do Houston racers hate the most? That's right- gun-confiscatin', gay-marryin', tax-raisin', socialized-medicine-supportin', union-lovin', EPA-fundin' commies! You Texas LeMons racers who got hosed by these extremely cruel punishments can thank your fellow racers who spent the six months prior to the race emailing endless right-wing screeds to members of the LeMons Supreme Court for providing the inspiration for this stuff; you know who you are!

We started off with the Community Organizer penalty, in which we hand a stencil with the ACORN logo to the miscreants' team, who must then organize the community! That means they need to get five other teams to spray the logo on their car and sign off with their names and car number. Oh, they hated this one- it was like branding their very flesh with the symbol of everything they stand against.

Much as the Community Organizer drove them nuts, they hated the ¡VENCEREMOS! penalty even more. We handed the miscreant a stencil with the image of Che Guevara and ordered him or her to put Che's iconic visage on every surface of the vehicle. A little explaining to do once the rest of the team sees that! We saved the ¡VENCEREMOS! for Mustang teams, as it seemed most appropriate for them.

The Che-emblazoned cars looked really cool on the track. Well, we thought so.

Speaking of revolutionaries, I neglected to show you the cover of the Little Red Books we used for the Cultural Revolution penalty. The Great Helmsman was most appreciative.

We really went to town with the flag penalties this time; the Taiwanese National Anthem penalty was so much fun that we made more PVC flagpoles and bought more cheap flags. What flags do we fly on our cars in Socialist California? Why, Massachusetts, USSR, and UN flags, of course!

Of those three choices, the Texans seemed to hate the Massachusetts flag the most; we thought of using a California flag, but Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, and George S. Patton all came from California and thus our own state flag wasn't socialist enough.

Once again, we focused on the Mustangs for the most commie-inspired of our penalties.

We planned to have miscreants fill out United Nations Tax Form 666 (which takes all the money the feds don't grab), but we never got around to creating the form. Next time, Texans!

We also had some non-Texas-specific penalties, such as the LeMons Poster Puzzle. No team was able to finish the puzzle, due to the large areas of featureless red space in the image.

The LeMons Trivia Contest was a lot of fun; we had a list of 20 LeMons trivia questions (e.g., "What kind of car won the first-ever 24 Hours Of LeMons race in 2006?"), and the miscreant had to get five correct before being allowed to return to the race. We'll be using this one again at Thunderhill, since it's such an audience-pleaser.

The Crappy Driver Penalty got a lot of attention from the onlookers; the miscreant had to sit on a wheeled toilet and be pushed around the paddock by his teammates.

Assistant Judge Mason led the Crappy Drivers on their travels in his custom-built MG roadster. That thing sure beats the hell out of a Big Wheel!

Chief Perp Jay Lamm thought up the LeMons Haiku, in which the miscreant must compose a haiku about his or her crime, then paint it on the car using a brush. We'll need to get some paint that sticks to oil-coated surfaces next time, because most LeMons cars sweat oil from every surface. How about this haiku, painted on the engine cover of an MR2?
Car loops many times
Driver error always why?
We are dumbasses.

Long-time LeMons fans are familiar with the West Virginia Homesteader Penalty, in which the miscreant's team must put the race car up on jackstands, remove the wheels, set up folding chairs in front, and eat salty snacks. Because everything is bigger in Texas, we decided to establish an entire West Virginia trailer park, with a total of eight cars and nearly 100 salty-snack-eating team members. Instant party! Even the contending teams who were grinding their teeth over lost positions in the standings had to admit this one was fun.

We put a new twist on the Preach To The Converted penalty for this race; instead of being forced to read Tom Cotter's ode to a barn-find Pinto, the miscreant had to read my novel to the audience. Fun for everyone!

Datsun Z-driving LeMons Legend Troy already has a personalized penalty, but we thought we'd get him to help us punish other drivers, even when his team has committed no crime (such is the price of being a legend). The Talk To The Troy penalty, which evolved from Justice Lieberman's Talk To The Wall penalty (in which the miscreant must face a wall and explain why he didn't deserve his black flag), goes like this: the miscreant gets duct-taped to Troy and must discuss the pros and cons of various Nissan cylinder heads and/or distributors for 15 minutes. Lack of passionate opinions on the subject matter results in additional time added to the penalty. Thanks, Troy!

Since our next race will be in California, behind the Socialist Iron Curtain, we'll need to devise some fiendish right-wing-themed penalties for miscreants that fall into our clutches. Perhaps we'll stuff them into the Conservative Talk Radio Echo Chamber (a refrigerator box equipped with multiple radios tuned to different conservative talk-radio shows), or make them recite Spiro Agnew's "Nattering Nabobs Of Negativism" speech through a bullhorn. Our advice? Drive clean!

Mystery Seat From 20R Sprite Hell Project Lives On In Illegal Soapbox Derby Racer [Novelties]

Murilee Martin — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

The Illegal Soapbox Derby race was to be held in San Francisco over Halloween weekend, and four-time DOTS honoree WhatWouldJesseDo needed a driver's seat for his race car.

Once the mandatory beer holder and ought-to-be-mandatory chain steering wheel were installed, he mentioned to me that he was thinking of using a lawn chair as a seat. Lawn chair? I happened to have something much better in my Stash-O-Useless Car Junk™: a car seat of mysterious origin that came with my 20R Sprite Hell Project.

Since I scored some near-perfect Miata seats at the junkyard a while back, this 60s-vintage seat- which the Sprite's seller suspected might be of Volvo 544 origin- was sort of a white elephant. Take it away, Jesse!

Check out that all-plumbing-fitting steering mechanism! The steering wheel has about 1/8 turn lock-to-lock, so precise inputs are recommended.

And look- Grade 8 bolts as kingpins! This machine really is all about the safety. Unfortunately, the hardware-store bearing-challenged wheels offered a bit too much rolling resistance in action, and the car tended to drag to a stop while going downhill. Wait til next year! In fact, wait a couple of weeks and you'll get to see Jesse behind the wheel of the Killer Bees MGB LeMons racer; that's right, Jesse has switched from the V8olvo to a vehicle more in keeping with the automotive philosophy of a Mini owner.

Here's a video of some of the cars in action:

First-Gen Celica Still Going Strong In Nicaragua! [Down On The Street Bonus Edition]

Murilee Martin — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500

This is Down On The Street Bonus Edition, where we check out interesting street-parked cars located in places other than the Island That Rust Forgot. How about an early Celica in Granada, Nicaragua?

These cars are rare even in their native Japan, so it was an exciting moment for loyal Jalopnik reader Nick to spot one in Central America. Hey, check out that Dave Zinn Toyota emblem on the trunk lid; looks like this car made the drive from Florida to about 1,000 miles to the southwest. Here's what Nick has to say about his find.

So I live in Argentina (originally from Vermont) and had the chance to go to Nicaragua with my dad recently. I spent a couple days attending a fair trade conference and then had some time on my own to travel. I was in Granada when I spied this beautiful toyota than I just had to take some photos of. Unfortunately the windows were completely tinted so I had no shot at seeing inside but I tried my best to capture the car.

I am an avid jalopnik reader without actually knowing much about the history and inner-workings of cars and I've always enjoyed the DOTS section. There is something about older cars that excites me. With this car, I especially liked the "liftback" badge which I had never seen. The whole GT thing also helps.

I've got quite a backlog of DOTSBE vehicles built up, so I'll try to do at least a few every weekend from now on. Thanks for sending 'em in, and for your patience if you've been waiting a year... or two.

DOTS FAQ

Very Much Unlike A Turtle With Bad Knees: 1977 Datsun 200-SX! [Classic Ad Watch]

Murilee Martin — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0500

Did you notice the hyphen in the name of this car? That's because Datsun's marketers wanted you to think about SEX when you thought about the North American version of the Nissan Silvia.

That approach made sense, because Datsun dealers were getting tired of all the lust-crazed car shoppers passing them by in favor of custom vans equipped with purple shag carpeting and airbrushed bongs that matched the paint job. Emphasizing the car's "SX appeal" shouldn't have been necessary, though, because the Mid-Malaise 200SX was a good-looking machine that offered decent performance for the time: 97 horsepower in a 2,300-pound, rear-wheel-drive car wasn't too bad by '77 standards.

1975 Datsun 710 [Down On The Street]

Murilee Martin — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0500

Welcome to Down On The Street, where we admire old vehicles found parked on the streets of the Island That Rust Forgot: Alameda, California. Here's a sight you won't see often: a survivor Datsun 710!

Known as the Datsun 140J in Europe and the Nissan Violet in Japan, the Datsun 710 was priced between the sporty 610 and the bare-bones B210 in the North American market. You got a 100-horsepower L20 in your $3,469 2-door 710 in 1975, which was pretty steep compared to the $2,769 Pinto or the $2,786 Vega. In fact, $3,195 would have bought you a brand-new '75 Dodge Dart with a V8... but inflation and crazy gas prices were making the Datsuns look pretty good to car buyers back then.

It's always fun when I can get more than one DOTS car in a single photograph, as we see here with the '73 BMW 2002tii in the background.

First 500 DOTS Vehicles • DOTS FAQ

The Yeehaw It's Texas 24 Hours Of LeMons Über Gallery [24 Hours Of Lemons]

Murilee Martin — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:00:00 -0500

Yes, it's Über Time again, after a hiatus of a couple of races (sorry, participants of the South Fall '09 and Lamest Day races, no ÜGs for you). Nearly 2,000 photos of the action from Texas!

Part 1	Part 2	Part 3
Part 4	Part 5	Part 6
Part 7	Part 8	Part 9

1971 Volkswagen Squareback [Down On The Junkyard]

Murilee Martin — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:00:00 -0500

Seeing a VW Fastback in action on a racetrack reminded me of how cool the Volkswagen Type 3 was. The Fastbacks and Squarebacks were never as common as the Beetles, but you'd see them. Here's one that isn't coming back.

Speaking of not coming back, I've considered axing the entire Down On The Junkyard series. Why? Because dudes will find an 18-month-old DOTJ post with a car they're looking for via Google (for example, a search for "Renault 16" will show a DOTJ post as the 3rd result), and then start pestering me to sell them the parts from "my" car. When I tell them that the junkyards I frequent turn over their entire inventory every few months and that the car was crushed long ago (not to mention the fact that I'm not in the parts-selling business), they refuse to believe me. Look, the pictures are right there! Sell me parts! It was tolerable the first few hundred times, but now I'm getting so damn many of these demands for parts from long-ago-crushed cars that I'm approaching Clueless Internet Incomprehension Burnout. So, let's say it's 2012 and you're looking for parts for your Squareback and you've found this post: THIS CAR IS GONE! CRUSHED! RENDERED INTO CHEAP WASHING MACHINES IN GUANGZHOU!

Where were we? Oh yes, this '71 Squareback. Look, it's the carbureted engine, and the twin Solexes are still there! In fact, everything is still there. Fresh junkyard finds are fun!

The interior is pretty well thrashed, but a few usable bits remain.

1977 Datsun King Cab: 11.3 Cubic Feet Of Cab Space! [Classic Ad Watch]

Murilee Martin — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500

You want a vivid demonstration of how much small pickups have changed in the last 30 years?

Check out the laughably cramped passenger compartment in the '77 Datsun King Cab. Why, that microscopic truck would be dwarfed by the '10 Versa! How was it possible that our forefathers accepted such hardships? Truly, they were a stoic and uncomplaining breed.

Back When Automotive Interior Designers Weren't So Slick: SECU- RITY Indicator Lamp [Retro]

Murilee Martin — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Ever notice how every interior component in cars these days, no matter how cheaply made, appears to have been vetted by a crew of marketing types and focus groups? That's why it's refreshing to see this Maxima's dash.

I was scoping the junkyard for interesting stuff when I spotted this '87 Nissan Maxima. I figured I'd check for a Voice Annunciator Phonograph Unit within.

It appears that Nissan had gone solid-state for their "talking car" feature by 1987, so no tiny phonograph. Disappointing. But then a row of dash controls caught my eye.

You can tell that engineers came up with this arrangement, not a bunch of Apple-worshiping designers and their focus-group-wrangling marketing overlords. No doubt the Japanese version of the "SECU- RITY" light (which I assume has something to do with a primitive mid-80s alarm system) sports a graceful kanji character, and when the engineers got their English translation it just made sense to hyphenate the word to make it fit. What the hell, right? You can still understand it! We gotta move these Maximas out the door, ASAP!

Porsche 928 To Take On Renault Alliance, 158 Other Heaps: LeMons Arse Freeze-A-Palooza 2009! [24 Hours Of Lemons]

Murilee Martin — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0500

Get ready for the final race of the 2009 season, taking place in two weeks at chilly Thunderhill Raceway! More cars than ever before, and the most staggeringly wrong collection of vehicles ever seen on the same track.

Ah, the Arse Freeze! Who could forget the incredible end-over-end Datsun B210 flip at the 2007 race? Or the upside-down '66 Plymouth Belvedere at last year's race? This year's race takes place a month earlier than its predecessors, so perhaps we'll get pleasant, sunny weather instead of the customary freezing winds and stinging horizontal rain.

Not only do we get to see how the most complicated motor vehicle that $245 will buy performs on a race track, the freaks at Evil Genius Racing have converted it into a 928 Shooting Brake! Here's a photo shot at a track day on Thursday, showing the rear body structure; by race day it will be covered with sheet metal.

The 928SB did pretty well on its first visit to a race track. Well, it did puke all its transmission fluid on the track after 4.3 laps (precisely the number predicted by LeMons Supreme Court Justice Lieberman) and the chopped springs turned out to be a bad idea, but after some tinkering it managed to run a very impressive 2:14 lap time... with a certain Über Spec Miata God behind the wheel. Go here for some in-car video.

Then we've got the F-ING Renault Fromage1 Racing Team and their Renault Alliance. Words cannot adequately describe how much everyone at LeMons HQ has yearned for a Renault in a LeMons race, and now it's really going to happen! The brilliant theme speaks for itself, and the team captain happens to be Phil Frank, CCO of a company known for slightly pricier vehicles (Mr. Frank wants us to know that his employer is neither funding or condoning the team's efforts, but we suspect that stance will change if the Alliance takes the win). Will this Car Of The Year-winning Franco-Kenosha machine be able to withstand the overpowering EMP shock waves emanating from the Porsche's absurdly complicated electrical system? But wait, there's more!

You know what endurance road racing has been missing all these years? Jeep Cherokees duking it out with RX-7s and E30s! Some people- bad people- will try to tell you that a Cherokee doesn't belong on a demanding track such as Thunderhill, but Petty Cash Racing disagrees. Will the Cherokee be able to use that AMC inline six power to beat its natural rival, the Mysteries Inc Voyager Turbo minivan?

How about a Daihatsu Charade endurance racer? Yes, my neighbors with the '69 Morris Traveller have formed Team Dai Hard, and they'll be relying on that legendary Daihatsu racing heritage to carry them to victory.

We'll also have a Malaise Era Datsun 200SX, an air-cooled Beetle, a Mitsubishi Starion, Ford Capri, a '97 Nissan Maxima, and an alleged '95 Mercedes-Benz S Class. Not enough for you? The spectacle of the Magna V65-powered Honda Z600 taking on the Arse Freeze-winning Geo Metro Gnome (now upgraded with rear-wheel drive and a Honda CBR1000RR engine) ought to be worth the price of admission alone. In order to fit all 160 cars, the race will be using the full course at Thunderhill this time. That's right, you heard me right- the entire course, with all its hills and challenging turns! It'll be utter madness! So, here's the official team list as of a few days ago; last-second changes always happen, so be ready for surprises:

Unsafe at Any Speed, 1965 Chevrolet Corvair
Faster Farms II: Non Rotisserie Chickens, 1966 Plymouth Belvedere
Size Does Matter, 1967 Plymouth Fury III
Purple Lemon Racing, 1969 Volkswagen Beetle
Ecurie Ecrappe Autodenta, 1971 Alfa Romeo Spider
Angry Hamster Racing, 1971 Honda Z600
Family Truckster, 1972 Ford Pinto Wagon
The Big EASY, 1973 Porsche 914
Starsky and the Bandit, 1974 Ford Capri
Team California Mille #2, 1976 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GT
Autobahn Society Racing, 1976 BMW 2002
Team Hurling Moss, 1976 BMW 2002
Frak This Racing/ Lime Tigers, 1976 Datsun 280Z
Wedginator iii, 1976 Triumph TR7
Skid Row Racing, 1977 Chevrolet Camaro
Motoring J Style, 1977 Datsun
Killer Bees, 1977 MG MGB
Blood Drive/Arcane Racing, 1978 BMW 530i
Team California Mille, 1979 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GT
Squadra Volante, 1979 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GTV
Rooster Juice Racing, 1979 Porsche 924
Italian Stallions aka "The Fiat", 1980 Fiat X1/9
Pearl Harbor Racing, 1981 Datsun 200sx
Unknown Fluids, 1982 BMW 633CSi
Hit & Run, 1983 BMW 320i
The Sharks, 1983 BMW 528e
Group of Foolz, 1983 BMW 533i
team power, 1983 BMW 633csi
Rice Rocket Racing (the sequel) or RQubed, 1983 Datsun Nissan 280ZX
LOOSE NUTS CALIFORNIA, 1983 Mazda RX7
Leftover Parts Racing, 1983 Mazda RX-7
Punk Racing, 1983 Mazda RX-7
Rockin Rollers, 1983 Mazda RX-7
Team Barbie, 1983 Mazda RX-7
Junk Yard Kats, 1983 Nissan 280 ZX Turbo
The Black Flags, 1983 Toyota Celica Supra
Bunny With A Pancake On Its Head, 1983 Volkswagen Rabbit
Chim Chim Racing, 1983 Volkswagen Rabbit
Team InternationOLVO (aka Damn Foreigners), 1983 Volvo 240 Turbo
Team Cant Am, 1983 Volvo 242T
TSP - Drivers In Training, 1984 Honda Civic
Team Ken, 1984 Mazda Rx7
A+ Trailor Trash, 1984 Mazda RX-7
Hit & Run II, 1984 Mitsubishi Starion
Members Only, 1984 Porsche 928
Fish out of Water, 1984 Porsche 944
F-ING Renault Fromage1 Racing Team, 1984 Renault Alliance
ZZ Uber Das Driver: Uncle Uber is Back!, 1984 Volkswagen GTI
Mustard Yellow Volvo Doing 45 in the Fast Lane, 1984 Volvo 244
Bernal Dads Racing, 1984 Volvo 245
Bavarian Beer Wagon, 1985 BMW 325e
Wienerschmoker II: Electric Boogaloo, 1985 BMW 325e
Huey Newis and the Lose, 1985 Ford Mustang
Carpet Pissers, 1985 Honda CRX
Mazdarachis, 1985 Mazda RX7
Stars & Stripes Racing, 1985 Mazda RX-7
Sin City SCAR Wars, 1985 Pontiac Fiero
Snowspeeder Pilots Association, 1985 Toyota MR2
B-Team, 1986 BMW 325e
Formula BMW, 1986 BMW 325E
Barbarian Motorworks, 1986 BMW 325es
Faulknor Auto Racing Team (FART), 1986 BMW 535i
Festiva Royale, 1986 Ford Kia Festiva Pride
XDOG's, 1986 Honda CRX
LITTLE WOODY, 1986 Honda CRX Si
1320 Turners, 1986 Nissan 300ZX
Clunkers Refuge Racing, 1986 Nissan 300ZX
Project FATE, 1986 Nissan 300zx
Planet Hell Racing, 1986 Porsche 944
The Faustest Team, 1986 BMW 325
Red Rocket Racing, 1986 Toyota Celica GT
Knights of the round track, 1986 Toyota MR2
Nerd Herd, 1986 Toyota MR2
The Flakes, 1986 Volvo 244
Driving For Donations!, 1987 Acura Legend Coupe
Absolute Lemon Motorsports, 1987 BMW 325
E=MC HAMMERED, 1987 BMW 325e
Flamin' Rods, 1987 BMW 325is
Caffeine Unlimited, 1987 BMW E30
Tercelators' Totally Bitchen Camaro, 1987 Chevrolet Camaro
ONSET/TWTM2, 1987 Chevrolet Cavalier Wagon
Rockerz in Dockerz, 1987 Ford Mustang
Uber Vogel: Hans-Am, 1987 Mercedes 190E
Old Fast Auto Race Team and Sons, 1987 Porsche 924S
Mark's Wife Won't Let Him Drive, 1987 Porsche 944
The Cannonball Bandits, 1987 Toyota Corolla FX-16
Lil Smokey and the Bandit Racing, 1987 Toyota MR2
LowerGearEpisode2, 1988 BMW 325
A Lemon Entry, 1988 Ford Escort
Magnum P.O.S., 1988 Honda CRX
Cajun Coonasses dba Speed Racer, 1988 Honda Prelude
Hatfieldís and McCoy's, 1988 Nissan 300zx
The Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys, 1988 Peugeot 505 Turbo S
Dudes of Hazard, 1988 Toyota Celica
Free Range Racing, 1988 Toyota MR2
Yushin Maru Racing, 1988 Toyota Supra
Rubber Chicken Piccata Racing, 1988 Volvo GLE740
I Wanna Roc, 1989 Chevrolet Camaro
Team Dai Hard, 1989 Daihatsu Charade CLS
Clueless Party Vikings Vintage Racers, 1989 Ford Mustang
THUNDER RACERS, 1989 Ford Mustang
An Inconvenient Car, 1989 Ford Taurus SHO
Deepest Valley Racing, 1989 GMC Caprice
HomeTown Buffet / WOO WOOO!, 1989 Isuzu I-Mark RS
Team Petty Cash, 1989 Jeep Cherokee
Mysteries Inc. Racing, 1989 Plymouth Voyager Turbo
Team Red Beer, 1989 Toyota Camry
4 R's (aka 501k), 1989 Volkswagen Jetta
Runs like a Raped Ape, 1990 Acura Integra
Automatica, 1990 BMW 325i
Pandamonium Racing, 1990 BMW 325i
Team Pyrite, 1990 Eagle Talon
Guud Humor Racing, 1990 Ford Ranger Extended Cab
Las Vegas Magic, 1990 Honda CRX
LEMON DEMOLITION, 1990 honda CRX
Fast Times @ Placer High, 1990 Mazda Miata
San Jose Scalawags, 1990 Mazda Mx 5
Heisenberg Racing, 1991 BMW 318
POS Delivery, 1991 BMW 325i
Redneck Racing Team(RRT), 1991 Cadillac Eldorado
Blanco Basura Racing, 1991 Honda Prelude
NYPD ITB, 1991 Mazda 323
Zoom-Zoom... BOOM, 1991 Mazda 323
FartRari Racing, 1991 Mazda Miata
The channel 4 news team, 1991 Nissan 240sx
1UP Mother Cluckers - Well Connected Nissan Freaks, 1991 Nissan Sentra
Lipstick on a Pig, 1991 Nissan Sentra
Kamikaze Ninjas with Lasers, 1991 Nissan Sentra SE-R
Gift With Purchase, 1992 BMW 325is
Carpocalypse NOW!, 1992 Eagle Talon TSI AWD
Geo Metro-Gnome 2.0, 1992 Geo Metro
Death Race 2000: Frankenstein's REVENGE!, 1992 Mazda MX-6
Chicken Licken -Reburned, 1992 Nissan Stanza
REDNECK RACERS, 1993 Acura Integra
Beaver Domination, 1993 Honda Civic
Socialist Dogsledders, 1993 Honda Civic Type
Eyesore Racing, 1993 Mazda Miata
Badagascar, 1994 Acura Integra
Dust n Debris, 1994 Dodge Shadow
Bachelor Boys & The Lost One, 1994 Honda Civic
Magnum pig, 1994 Toyota Celica
Audi in Wonderland, 1995 Audi 90
Team King Crab, 1995 BMW 325i
PIT CREW REVENGE, 1995 Honda Civic
Diplomatic Immunity, 1995 Mercedes S Class
Los Cerdos Voladores, 1995 Plymouth Neon
$14 The Hard Way, 1995 Volkswagen Golf GL
Gimp Pimp, 1996 Cadillac STS
reversed darwinism II: brute force and ignorance, 1997 Ford Crown Victoria
U.S. BureauCRAP, 1997 Nissan Maxima
Frozen Assets, 1997 Plymouth Neon
sierra auto recycling, 2000 Ford Crown Victoria
Save The Whale, 2000 Ford Crown Victoria
Filthy Faux Ford GT40, 2001 Ford Escort ZX2
Team Lightning McQueen, 2004 Pontiac Sunfire
DC&H Taxi Co
Team Apathy: Blown Seal Racing
Snobs on the Dole
Team Red Bear

1979 International Harvester Scout II [Down On The Street]

Murilee Martin — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0500

Welcome to Down On The Street, where we admire old vehicles found parked on the streets of the Island That Rust Forgot: Alameda, California. Lots of Scouts on the island!

Let's take a look at the others before we admire today's street survivor:

First, this '72.

Another '72.

Yet another '72.

This '76.

This '77 Traveler.

And this final-year '80. OK, now on to today's truck!

This truck, built during the next-to-last year of Scout production, lives just around the corner from the super-clean '64 Galaxie 500 convertible we saw last weekend. It appears to be a daily driver. Who needs cup holders and faux wood dash trim?

Some might say that Alameda- which is quite urban, completely paved, snow-free, and lacking in any hills of any sort- isn't the kind of place where a Scout makes sense. We disagree, however; a Scout always makes sense!

First 500 DOTS Vehicles • DOTS FAQ

Commenter Of The Day: Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr Edition [Commenter Of The Day]

Wes Siler — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:00:00 -0500

Traditional publishing is in a lot of trouble. Why? They just can't get their heads around media consumers. In the good ol' days, no one cared about readers. If you were the only game in town, you were the only place for advertisers to blow their money before blowing cocaine. Then Al Gore invented Teh Internets and messed up the model by giving Joe Average the power to look at LOLcats instead of Maureen Dowd's latest poorly written column. Growing up in an era of listless plenty, today's media moguls are just unable to adapt to a world in which they no longer have a license to mint money.

Commenter smalleyxb122 offered an insight into the reasons why Arty won't be buying a new yacht this year in our story about an Acura wearing a "We Write" vanity plate parked next to a crappy Voyager wearing a "We Read" plate (they apparently don't read EuroNCAP safety reports), extrapolating:

Just beyond the camera to the left is a Benz with the plate "WE PBLSH", and to the right is a 1987 Plymouth Reliant with "WE WCH TV".

Of course, he missed the subway pass on the ground just in front of all the cars with "WE BLOG" written on it in sharpie.

Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year! [LOLCars]

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:30:00 -0500

The Onion News Network covered Ford's exciting unveil of the 1993 Taurus for the 2010 model year. At $650 it's designed to fulfill the needs of Americans in challenging economic times. Video below.

Features include functioning exhaust, working battery and standard Primus cassette tape, it's sure to be a hit.

Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

Ferrari 458 Italia, Reviewed [New Cars]

Wes Siler — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:00:00 -0500

Chris Harris has put together a couple of excellent video reviews of the 562 HP Ferrari 458 Italia for England's Evo Magazine. You'll find them below. Gee, think he likes it?

[via EVO]

Ford's Inflatable Seat Belt Explained, Exploded [Auto Tech]

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:30:00 -0500

Yesterday we told you about the Ford inflatable seat belt that's definitely not an airbag. Today we get to see just how the thing works with crash event test footage and additional explanation on why Ford says they're important.

A Very Unlikely License Plate Pairing [LOLCars]

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500

According to the photographer of this image, the owners of these two cars do not know each other, and this happened completely at random. However, we smell a hoax, because everyone knows the entire state of Georgia is illiterate. [RondamRamblings]

Lutz To Chair Opel Supervisory Board [Industry News]

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:45:00 -0500

Bob Lutz is rewarded for besting us with chairmanship of Opel's board. [AutoNews ]

"I Live. I Ride. I Am. Jeep." Ad Will Not Conquer [Ad Watch]

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:30:00 -0500

The Caesar-like tagline and montage-gasmic commercial created for the New New Jeep fail because they could be used for almost any product. I Live. I Watch. I get bored. I forget this is an ad for Jeep. See for yourself.

It's not even uncomfortably homoerotic.

Dang Detroit Kids Push Abandoned Dump Truck Out Packard Plant Window [Detroit]

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:00:00 -0500

Remember the dump truck hanging out the side of the Packard Plant in our Feral Factories of Detroit story? Well, some kids decided it was time to push it over the edge. Check out the crashing-to-Earth result below.

[Wall Street Journal]

Local Motors Rally Fighter: The First-Ever Creative Commons Car [New Cars]

Ray Wert — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

This is Local Motors' Rally Fighter, the first car openly developed and built using crowd-sourcing. It will change the auto industry forever. More importantly for me, with its P-51 fighter plane-influenced design, it might be the coolest-looking car ever.

The Rally Fighter is the first-ever crowd-sourced "creative commons"-like car, is the culmination of 35,000 designs by 2,900 community members from over 100 countries. Local Motors, the company behind it, plans to change forever the way cars are designed.

For starters, Local Motors doesn't even have a designer for their cars on staff. Each major system of the vehicle — whether it's the exterior design, interior design or doors — heck, even the name — are developed in an open source development process. Once there's enough support for any single design, Local Motors will develop it openly. That means members of the Local Motors community not only choose which designs are developed, but also, they get to help develop them. Contests are held for the development and the winner receives a monetary prize based on the importance of the system to developing the overall vehicle. Thus, door design might receive less money than say, exterior design.

That includes the "where" as well as the what. Local Motors cars are built in regional micro-factories. The first vehicle the community chose to build — the Rally Fighter — will be built at both Local Motors' headquarters in Massachusetts, but also in Arizona, where the car — built for off-road and desert races of the American Southwest — will be primarily used. Each car the Local Motors community designs will be based on regional desires, tastes and preferences.

Better yet is the manufacturing — it's done by the soon-to-be-owner. That's right, once design and engineering is fully developed the buyer goes to the local Local Motors Micro-Factory and builds it — with a little bit of their help.

Brilliant idea? Yes. Even better is that they're looking to work with the major automakers and not against them. The best analogy we've yet heard for the available market for Local Motors is to imagine a glass mason jar filled with marbles. The mason jar represents the total potential U.S. automotive marketplace and the marbles represent cars built by major automakers. You'd notice that there's a lot of nooks, crannies and openings in between those marbles. That represents unfulfilled niche markets that, frankly, just aren't covered by current vehicles available from major automakers because they're too costly for them to build in small runs. Rogers wants Local Motors to be the sand that can fill the crevices of that marble-filled mason jar.

That's what separates Local Motors from a company on the brink of failure like Tesla. Tesla, with its designs on the mid-size sedan segment, looks to replace major automakers. Local Motors wants to work with them. Each Local Motors system competition is looking for the best ideas, not new ideas. So, for instance, why design an engine from scratch, when, like the Rally Fighter, it can use BMW's perfectly good M57 3.0-liter turbo-diesel? Why build a tail light from scratch when you can just use a set from a Honda Civic? Need a Transmission? Use the 6-speed ZF auto tranny. Need a door handle? The Miata's works just fine thank you very much. Go through the car's galleries in this post and try and spot what's being used where. I think you'll be shocked at how much parts-sharing is going on here.

But that's just the start. Imagine a company able to help automakers build the niche products they want to make but just can't because the volume isn't there to make it profitable? Are you an automaker with an E85-burning engine? Contract with Local Motors to make a small volume car in the Midwest with its large ethanol production. Have a compressed natural gas engine? Let Local Motors build a car with it in areas with great CNG infrastructure. There's a lot of space in between marbles they're able to fill.

So let's talk about their first product — the Rally Fighter. Thanks to the very concept caresque styling, when you walk up to it, you're immediately struck with how attractive the Rally Fighter looks. It's got a look inspired by the historic P-51 Mustang fighter plane, right down to the pregnant belly bulge in the fuselage. The lines are swoopy in the right places and it's high up off the ground thanks to 18" of suspension travel necessary for clearing the big rocks n' boulders you'll find in Baja and other rally races.

Although the car's built for both off-road and on, because it's lacking so many weighty creature comforts, and thanks to the big BMW diesel engine, it's capable of 36 MPG on the highway or 30 MPG in an off-road setting. All while pumping out 265 HP and 425 lb-ft of torque to the rear wheels.

It's 189 inches long, 69.25 inches high in "high ride height mode" and 61.25 inches high in "low ride height mode." The wheelbase is 115 inches, track width is 69.5 inches and it has a curb weight estimated between 3,000 and 3,200 lbs. It seats four and it's awesome.

We can't wait to drive it. Do you want one? Head over to Local Motors and drop a deposit down now. The full price will be approximately $50,000 and looks to be well worth it.

BMW C1-E Electrifies Car/Scooter Hybrid [Motorcycles]

Wes Siler — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:30:00 -0500

Genius idea: combine the mobility of a scooter with the safety of a car. But the original BMW C1 failed. Can an electric motor and a host of active safety technologies make the BMW C1-E succeed?

[HFL]

VPG MV-1 Handicapable Standard Taxi Spied [Spy Photos]

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500

The Vehicle Production Group MV-1 isn't a pretty vehicle, but it's designed with function in mind. That function? It's a purpose-built, wheelchair-accessible vehicle. This "mule" was spotted around Detroit and never has a slang term been more aesthetically accurate.

While the MV-1 doesn't quite have the fug factor of the VW-Thing-meets-NYC-Taxi look of the Standard Taxi, VPG's planned mobility van isn't going to be winning any beauty contests. It will ride on the same chassis and the low load floor which is roomy in the taxi will be useful in enabling an automatic ramp for wheelchair access in the MV-1.

We're assuming the MV-1 will utilize the same GM 4.3-liter V6 driving the rear wheels, though calls to the company have gone unreturned. Amusingly, the vehicle will use a de Dion rear suspension, similar to what's found in the Caterham 7. (Hat tip to Matt for the pics!)

What Retired Car Should They Still Make? [Question Of The Day]

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:30:00 -0500

The VW Golf Mk1 was good enough to be sold for 35 years, and it's not the only vehicle worthy of perpetual production. What retired car should they still make?

There are so many great cars we've let pass into oblivion, put out to pasture only to be replaced by cars we like even less than the original. Because it needs to be mass-marketed and have enough safety features to survive, as well as pass some sort of tests (though, we think there should be an exception), we're pulling for the BMW E30. It has ABS, at least one airbag, will easily pass an emissions test, still looks great, and drives better than most new BMWs. In fact, give us the choice between almost any new non-M BMW and, say, an E30 wagon we're going to take the E30. Actually, we'd probably take it over some M products, too.

Someone needs to step up, buy/recreate the tooling and start cranking these out.

What retired car do you think they should still make?

(QOTD is your chance to answer the day's most pressing automotive questions and experience the opinions of the insightful insiders, practicing pundits and gleeful gearheads that make up the Jalopnik commentariat. If you've got a suggestion for a good "Question Of The Day" send an email to tips at jalopnik dot com.)

VW Bus Stolen 35 Years Ago Found In Shipping Container [Car Crime]

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0500

Customs inspectors doing a routine inspection on a container on its way to Europe discovered a VW Bus which had been stolen 35 years ago inside. The recently restored Bus will be going to the insurance company, not the owner.

Turns out the Bus has led an interesting life since it was pilfered in Washington so many years ago. When the original owner reported it stolen, and the vehicle didn't turn up, Allstate settled the claim for a grand total of $2,500. It's been shuffled around since then, sold and resold and ended up in the hands of a restorer who completely renovated the van. It was on the way to the Netherlands, presumed a legitimately titled vehicle when it was seized by Port of LA customs officials. The estimated value? $25,000. Unsurprisingly, Allstate will be taking back it's van now, thank you very much. [LATimes]

Photo credit: Department of Homeland Security

Woman Passes License Exam On 950th Attempt [LOLCars]

Wes Siler — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:30:00 -0500

A Korean woman has passed the written driving test on her 950th attempt. Having tried nearly daily since 2005, she finally managed to meet the minimum score of 60% and now plans to attempt the practical test. [AP]

Chinese Carmakers Prepping For 2010 Dakar Rally [Racing News]

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:00:00 -0500

Given never ending concerns over Chinese quality, completing the punishing cross-continental Dakar Rally could send the right message. Both Greatwall and Geely are planning to enter the race as a proof-of-competency in vehicles that at least look like Pajeros. [ChinaCarTimes]

VW Golf Mk1 Production Ceases After A Quarter-Century [Industry News]

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:30:00 -0500

The original Golf lived on in South Africa for 25 years, but production is ending this year. VeeDub fans covet Mk1s, so it's no surprise they were able to produce more than 500,000 of them for South Africa. [AutoTrader.ca]

Helter Skelta: Australia's Ugliest Sports Car Going Abroad [New Cars]

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0500

The Skelta is one of a handful of limited production Aussie sports cars, like the Bolwell Nagari, with real performance credentials and completely fugly design. And it's coming to Europe!

Designed for racing, the Skelta includes a lightweight spaceframe with a carbon fiber composite body keeping the car's heft down to a Calista Flockhart-like 1,587 pounds. Bringing the power to the sports car's power-to-weight ratio is either a tuned Honda 2.0-liter fourbanger putting down 340 HP or a 3.0-liter Hartley V8 pumping out 460 HP. Both are mated to a Honda six-speed transmission. The vehicle is available in either an open-top spyder or a two-seater with gullwing targa top.

There's no final word on the price of one of these, but it doesn't matter unless you live in the UK and probably have a lot of disposable income.

IT'S BEEN WINNING RALLIES AND RACES IN AUSTRALIA FOR 6 YEARS. NOW IT'S AVAILABLE IN THE UK – WELCOME TO THE SKELTA
Whether you want to compete in sprints and hillclimbs, clean up in GT racing, participate in track days, or simply motor through the summer sun to your local pub, the Skelta could be just the car for you.
Most road-going competition cars require a myriad of costly upgrades to make them fully competitive. The super-light, ultra-tough Skeltas on the other hand leave the factory with all the power, handling and braking they require to win out of the box.
Supreme lightness The chrome molybdenum steel spaceframe is reinforced with a centre tunnel and sidepods made of carbonfibre/aluminium sandwich, while the body is crafted entirely from carbonfibre composite. This extensive use of strong but lightweight materials results in a dry weight of a mere 720kg.
Ample power Power comes from either a supercharged 2.0-litre 4-cylinder Honda unit of 340bhp or the 3.0-litre V8 Hartley engine of 460bhp – both engines drive through a Honda six-speed transmission. The suspension comprises rose-jointed double wishbones front and rear, linked to inboard MCA Proflex spring and damper units – the set-up is fully adjustable for track, camber, caster and toe. Powerful braking emanates from ventilated discs and four-pot callipers front and rear.
Cutting-edge aerodynamics The heavily finned front air intakes, sizeable rear wing and diffuser are a clue to the aerodynamic package, which exerts 200kg of downforce at 90mph. Coupled to a 50/50 weight distribution this results in phenomenal cornering power – small wonder then that the car is so competitive, whatever its environment. The Skelta is available in two styles:
• Spyder – a wide-bodied, open-topped two-seater
• G-Force – a two-seater with detachable gull-wing targa top
One man's dream The Skelta was born out of one man's obsession to win the incomparable 2000km Targa Tasmania road rally. A former Australian rally champion, Ray Vandersee began his determined assault on the Targa with a re-engineered Westfield. His ingenious modifications brought it closer to the Porsches, Nissan GTRs etc that were dominating such events, but it was clear that something fresh was needed to ensure him of outright victory. Starting with a clean sheet of paper, and incorporating all the attributes his extensive competition career told him were required, he designed his own creation from scratch – the Skelta.
Thanks to Skelta, Vandersee and his customers have now won countless events throughout Australia and New Zealand and Vandersee himself has come agonisingly close to realising his dream of wining Targa Tasmania outright. With a string of class wins and quickest stage times to his credit, plus the fastest Skelta yet under constant development, 2010 can't come soon enough for him. Skelta Racecars Europe has been formed to give UK and European drivers the chance of similar success and enjoyment.
Skelta facts
• The origin of the name? The Beatles hit Helter Skelter was blasting from the radio the night the project was conceived
• Skeltas are made in Toowoomba, Queensland, next door to the well established Vandersee family business of importing John Deere farm machinery and Hino trucks for distribution throughout Australia

Meet The Lego Stig [Top Gear]

Peter Orosz — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:30:00 -0500

Some say every time you introduce The Stig, you have to recall a strange power of his in a Clarksonesque way. All we know is…he’s called The Lego Stig.

Lego Stig is part of a grand series of racing minifigs, most of them based on Formula One drivers:

Photo Credit: Phil Birkitt

Along Came a Spider for $24,950 [Nice Price Or Crack Pipe]

Graverobber — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:00:00 -0500

Little miss muffet may have suffered from arachnophobia, but today, Nice Price or Crack Pipe has a fly-yellow Alfa that can sit on our tuffet any time it wants.

Rarely does a group as disparate as this join together as one in a collective dry heave of revulsion over a contender, but that's what yesterday's Auto Zoned-out Jeep Grand Cherokee engendered in 93% of you. To clear that acrid taste form your mouths, today we're going to look at a lovely latin- one you wouldn't be surprised to find sunning topless in San Tropez.

Not San Tropez, but sunny Brentwood California was where disillusioned and kind of creepy Ben Braddock bedded his father's business partner's wife, and then attempted to do the same with her daughter in the movie The Graduate. As played by Dustin Hoffman, Ben's unrequited advances upon daughter Elaine required multiple trips between LA and Berkeley, which were accomplished to the toe-tapping sounds of Simon and Garfunkel, and in an Alfa Romeo boat-tail Duetto. That was back in 1967, and for the next 26 years, the Alfa spider creaked along, receiving the occasional egregious body appendage and cabin-confining safety equipment. In the late ‘80s, Alfa set to the task in replacing the aging Giulia spider with a new, front-wheel drive car that would meet all the requirements of a modern automobile, and would put them in good stead against competitors from BMW and Mercedes.

That car went by the internal model number 916, and was designated in the market as the GTV (in 2+2 coupe form) and Spider (for the 2-seat droptop), both based on the Fiat Tipo platform and featuring a choice of transverse 4 and 6-cylinder engines. Introduced in 1995, these cars were designed with the North American market in mind, however Alfa Romeo folded their tent here before the cars could launch. They did debut elsewhere, and were reasonably successful in the market for the next 10 years.

This yellow 1998 Spider has been spinning its webs in Oregon - where it is claimed to be legally licensed - and has an asking price of $24,950. It has the 1,747-cc Twin Spark 4-V engine, which is good for about 145-bhp. That's due to the variable valve timing and multi-length intake runners which provide, not only a healthy power output, but a flatter torque curve than you would expect out of an Italian four cylinder. Despite that, the variocam is a maintenance issue on these engines, and, like waterpumps, you should replace the variator when you do the timing belt, just in case.

The interior is in excellent shape, but the fight-club black and blue color choice is a bit strange. The Spider is strictly a two-seater, and the roof is made of traditional canvas rather than the metal that is fashionable in today's upper-end drop tops. But that just makes this car's appearance all the more unique. And unique it is with a Pininfarina-designed wedge shape that is still arresting today, 14 years following its launch. There don't appear to be any major issues with the body, nor do the double-five spoke alloy rims seem to have been curbed at any time. The 33,000 kilos on the clock indicate that there hasn't been much opportunity for either to have happened.

With the exception of the rare and expensive 8C, Alfa Romeo doesn't appear to be making a comeback in the U.S. anytime soon. This lovely and, potentially equally rare, spider may be one of the few ways to get into a modern Alfa here, and as the saying goes- you're not a true car person unless you've owned an Alfa. So what do you think of that $24,950 price? Does that put the curds in your whey? Or, like the tuffet-warming miss, does that amount scare you away?

You decide!

Grand Prix Imports or go here if the ad disappears.

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

Conspicuously Modified: The Booth Babes Of SEMA 2009 [Sema]

Wes Siler — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:45:00 -0500

You have to admire the dedication of SEMA's booth professionals. Though there are many jobs in Vegas for a woman with a large chest and a fake smile, they faithfully serve the needs of chrome and carbon fiber.

My Name Is Ram, I Am A Huge Closet Case [LOLCars]

Ray Wert — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:35:00 -0500

My name is Ram. I am a huge closet case. [VanityFair]

Porsche Boxter Spyder Shows Off In Mountain Driving Clip [La Auto Show]

Ben Wojdyla — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:30:00 -0500

This is what every single Porsche Boxster Spyder will dream about when it goes to sleep at night: zipping around curvy mountain roads, unencumbered by hoards of maliciously slow RVs and driven well past the speed limit. Ah, dreams.

The Coolest, Slowest Vehicle At SEMA [Sema]

Ben Wojdyla — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:15:00 -0500

Did you know one of Subaru's first offering in the US was a van? This van. The 1969 Subaru 360 Van was a sub-1000-lb Kei-car import and Subaru Performance Tuning has turned this one into a parts-runner.

Powered by a momentous 356cc two-stroke, two-cylinder, air-cooled engine belting out a prodigious 25 HP and 25.3 lb-ft of torque (the 0.3 is important, it's 1.1% of total torque) hooked up to a four speed manual and delivering acceleration best described as suicidal, all while returning a hybrid-embarrassing 66 MPG. This one's outfitted for parts running for Las Vegas-area Subaru's in-house performance shop, where the motto is "Fast Parts, Slow Delivery." We like this very much.

Commenter Of The Day: Well, You're Ugly Too [Commenter Of The Day]

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:00:00 -0500

Texas rivals California in terms of producing prolific singer-songwriters. They range from the famous and classic, like Willie Nelson and Townes Van Zandt, to the modern party singers like Hayes Carl and Pat Green. But if we have to pick a favorite it's going to be Lyle Lovett. Both entertainer and troubadour, Lovett is a showman who sings often unsophisticated music with a high level of sophistication and thought similar to the way Tom Waits twists a stripped down version of blues into something grand. This is on display in the song "You're Hot To Go" which is a simple swinging tune about a girl who is, essentially, easy and also turns out to be ugly. The clever turn comes when the girl is given a chance to respond saying "Well, you're ugly too." There's been a little criticism levied at the Front Wing Scion TC and area_educator is ready to respond.

Every time this comes up, the comments destroy a little more of my faith in Jalopanity.
The same jerkholes who smugly point out the limited utility of rear spoilers on FWD cars start whining about how terrible this is.

And then there's "Why not just get a RWD car?" Why have restrictions on engine size, why race vintage cars, why race $500 LeMons instead of racing proper F1 cars?

The car itself, however, is awesomely ridiculous and helps restore my faith in Jalopanity.

Actually, we noticed quite a few commenters who appreciated it, but we get the sentiment.

My Name Is Irony [Ad Watch]

Ray Wert — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:30:00 -0500

My name is Ram. My tank is full. I am fueled by optimism, driven by passion and stopped by lawyers...