Gawker

ACLU Now an Exponentially Less Hardcore Lobby Than Previously Considered [Civil Liberties]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 22:30:00 -0500

You'll be disappointed to find out that the ACLU's executive director doesn't spend Sundays burning anarchy signs into American flags while singing pre-abolition slave spirituals to the tune of "Poker Face." Per an NYT profile: he feeds horses grass. [NYT]

Expensive, Blurry Photo of Flight 253 Terrorist Given Ken Burns Treatment by CNN [VideUhOh]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 22:15:00 -0500

So! CNN paid a bunch of money for this blurry photo of authorities restraining Abdul Farouk Abdulmutallab—hereby known as The Testicle Bomber—and you can watch Brooke Baldwin and T.J. Holmes talk over it. Fun!

I like it when T.J. Holmes calls him a "major failure." Well put!

John Mayer Earns Blogger Stripes Defending James Cameron from TMZ's Smear Campaign [Pop Culture Aneurysm]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 20:00:00 -0500

Battle Studies, indeed! TMZ recently ran video of someone harassing James Cameron to sign an Avatar poster, the highlight of which: Cameron calling his "fan" a "fucking asshole." Typical TMZ. But Cameron's surprising public advocate nailed the story.

Introducing John Mayer: The Blogger.

So, this happened:

And then TMZ followed it up with a post cutely titled "True Lies" (like the AWESOME James Cameron movie starring Tom Arnold and Tia Carrere) where, in some Avatar press interview footage, James Cameron notes that "he'd sign as many autographs as people will line up for."

Nice! James Cameron doesn't really seem like the kinda guy TMZ would go for, right? But Avatar posts are getting awesome traffic right now, so they're just astutely following the news cycle. And it just so happens that James Cameron called this guy a "fucking asshole" and they were there to get footage of it!

So why'd James Cameron, the fan-friendly director, freak out? Maybe it was because it was Christmas Eve, and he's normally signing things when his wife isn't with him. Or maybe it was because he had a turbulent flight! How the hell do you feel when you get off of airplanes? Or maybe it was something that happened between the relatively suspicious cuts on the TMZ game tape.

But most people know better. John Mayer, who probably deals with this kind of shit often, is one of them. And in an articulate posting to his Tumblr—John Mayer has a Tumblr! And it's not John Mayer Will Change Your Life! How 'bout that?—Mayer breaks down how this works, from his perspective.

First, he calls out the system: everyone's for sale, everywhere.

American Airlines has long been known to have at least one person in their organization selling flight manifests to the paparazzi. I'd imagine it's not hard to find a gate agent or a skycap willing to trade a well-known name or two for a couple hundred dollars..

Which, as this website knows, is totally correct. Money buys things, like scoops!

...The fact that passenger lists are not available to the general public means that anyone waiting at the airport with any more than the CD from the passenger seat of their car has gotten word of which celebrities will be traveling through the terminal in the same way the paparazzi do. In some cases, these "fans" are working in concert with them. After all, it's a great way to get a celebrity to interact with you on video if you can ask them impolite questions while they're stopping to sign a few items for someone. If they decline, it's time to switch to plan B: paint them as shallow Hollywood types that only care about the "little people" when it best serves them. This logic doesn't really hold water since everyone now knows that being videotaped at LAX is regarded as one of the most high profile appearances one can make, especially during the release of a film.

Also true! Most celebrities have to fly like normal people do: through airports. And if you've ever been to LAX, you know the hell that may or may not await them (and you!) as you shuffle through paps to find your friend giving you a ride home. And celebrities know to look good when they go through LAX, because, again, they'll be photographed. And often, asked to become part of the celebrity autograph moneymaking machine! Celebrities are wont to preserve autographing things for fans and charities and things like that; they don't like to sign the shoddy things scheme-people try to get them to.

Even some of TMZ's commenters know this, one of whom pointed out that this eBay seller is most likely the guy in the video, who screamed after Cameron "I'm an asshole because I ask someone I admire for their autograph that makes me an asshole? I make $15-an-hour at work to go see your film and I'm an asshole?"

That'd make sense, as the guy in the video's wearing the same hat he also got Robert Englund AKA Freddy Kruger to sign. Which I guess he keeps a good stock of. Or: was just smart enough to take it off his head and get it signed by Robert Englund at the time.

See! Scheme-people are quick-witted! And when they don't get what they want, which is money, sleazy scheme-people get angry. Then they try to get people like James Cameron to call them "fucking assholes." And John Mayer sees that part going something like this:

While I can't speak to what happened before the segment of video on TMZ, I can tell you that the man in the tiny hat with the Avatar poster had probably engaged with Cameron from at least 50 paces before the automatic doors. That's how it goes down; they walk alongside you. They bark requests at you, trying to get your pulse to quicken. If you give in and sign, the guy with the poster gets to sell it and make a few bucks. If you don't give in, as it gets harder to acquiesce with each successive yelp, then the stench of cash really starts to waft in as Video Camera Guy gets the goods while you explain in no uncertain terms to Obnoxious E-bay Poster Guy that he's not going to get what he's asking for tonight.

Pretty good, right? Mayer goes on to observe that Cameron isn't used to dealing with this kind of bullshit. Think about the last time James Cameron was doing serious press rounds. TMZ wasn't around then.

Mayer's entire blog post is here, and if you'll read through it, you'll note that it's not just "good for a rock star," but "good for a blog post." Not bad! Though the most interesting part is actually when he notes, of Cameron's media dealings:

He doesn't understand the media shuffle, and I'm glad he hasn't given any thought to it. It's actually a waste of brain matter, and a slippery slope of compromise.

Well, Mayer does speak from experience, and that experience clearly involves very little compromise, but also, clearly, an impressive regard for self-awareness (just as suspected). John, anytime you feel like taking to the blog, holler. We're a growing company, and I, for one, am impressed.

Blog Posts That Make You Go Sigh [Monsters]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 19:45:00 -0500

Long Island's Area 51? Presented without comment: The Montauk Monster U.F.O. Balls Conspiracy.

I Hereby Declare The Fashion Bloggers' "Front Row" Status Trend Piece Over [Fashion]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 18:00:00 -0500

Remember the days when the world of fashion used to be a scary place run by thin people in big sunglasses screechier, bitchier, thinner, and just better than you? Those days: gone. Fashion's now being run by bloggers. It's official/awful.

So! When you open this week's New York Times Sunday Styles, what kind of original wonderful 00's retrospective will they have for you?

"Bloggers Crash Fashion's Front Row," New York Times - 12/27/2009*

Hm. That sounds/looks familiar.

"Young Bloggers Have Ear of Fashion Heavyweights," New York Times, 09/13/2009

Yeah, but that's gotta be some...kind of...coincidence. Right?

[Click to enlarge, please.]

"Style bloggers take centre stage," Financial Times - 11/13/2009*

"Fashion Bloggers, Where They Belong: In The Front Row," Mediaite - September 29th, 2009

"Milan Fashion Week: Bloggers Go Front Row" - Scallywag & Vagabond, September 28, 2009

"Front Row Fashion Bloggers at Dolce & Gabbana," Cortorture - September 28, 2009

"Tavi Gevinson, 13-Year-Old Fashion Blogger Scores Front-Row Seats at New York Fashion Week" - Zimbio, September 21, 2009

"Bloggers Take Over the Front Row," InStyle - September 10, 2009

"Style blogger Susie Lau is headed for fashion's front row," The Observer - February 8, 2009

So, how long have people been using this stupid fucking tired dead horse linguistic chicken bone? Let's put it like this: Greg Lindsay, writing for MediaBistro, beat all of them to it.

"Bloggers In Tents: Fashion Warms to New Media," MediaBistro - February 6, 2007

Here's the takeaway:

1. The New York Times is laying off the wrong people. I already miss Allen Salkin far more than I ever thought I would.

2. Fashion bloggers are running fashion. Market editors should all fear for their lives.

3. Old age and treachery are of no use in the world of fashion writing. The most influential of these bloggers is a thirteen year-old girl who is feared and respected by the most powerful people in that business.

4. Neither are intelligence, creativity, or writing ability. Fashion writers and the people writing about fashion all fall behind a 13 year-old girl.

5. Fashion has now reached new levels of awareness-lacking self-parody.

Fashion people, I shouldn't have to do this for you. But when somebody shows up to a party wearing the same thing as someone else, it's, like, a crime punishable by summary execution, right? Well, guess what: you're all wearing the same trend piece. Let me fix this:

It's time to take those fashon bloggers, and the writers writing about the fashion bloggers, and kick them the fuck out of the front row, the second-to-front row, the tents, and then, make fashion and fashion writing interesting and readable and a total plutocracy or dictatorship or what have you. This kind of writing makes fat-hating Cintra Wilson look like a potential MacArthur Genius Grant recipient. Sometimes, when you give power to the people, it turns out that the people—as is the case here—suck. So you gotta take it back. Anna Wintour, just hire the 13 year-old kid and get rid of the rest. Kelly Cutrone, you should carry around brass knuckles and every time you see a laptop at a fashion week tent, you should not hesitate to smash them into said laptops.* Do you understand what I'm saying, here? Unless everyone writing about fashion actually sucks that bad—and that can't be possible, can it?—this has to be a conspiracy. Maybe's it's Mugatu and his return behind this.

IT'S THE SAME HEADLINE.

IT'S THE SAME BAD WRITING.

I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS.

[*The reason this will never, ever happen is because a majority of fashion writing is predicated on selling the products they're writing about, supported by advertisers selling the same products. Bloggers help get the word out about these products, thereby, more publicity for advertisers, with less hassle, because they're not dealing with major publication divas. So really, fashion bloggers are here to stay, whether anybody likes it or not. The trend pieces about them, however, might be getting a tad bit stale. At the very least, fashion's sense of wonder with them as new toys will likely get that way, too.]

The Invincible Charlie Sheen's Old-School Christmas: Chokin' Ladies Out [Marital Disquiet]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 16:30:00 -0500

Damn, Charlie Sheen: the slate was clean for what? Two years? Does it matter anymore? Charlie Sheen choked his wife out for Christmas. He got arrested, she's not talking to cops, he's still the highest paid actor in television.

A long time ago, back when Radar wasn't a Zombie Radar, Charlie Sheen got married and it was carefully observed that, at his third wedding, Sheen noted:

"The first one was a show, the second one was a con, and this one is the real deal."

If by show, you mean, "I shot her in the arm." Oh, no, wait, that was fiancee Kelly Preston. But if by "con," he meant, "that time I was married to Denise Richards and she accused me of child molestation so in retaliation I accused her of beating the shit out of me," he'd be correct, I guess. So when he talks about the "real deal" he must've meant "the one time in my life I'll be in a relationship without a domestic abuse spat that involves police being called," well, he was wrong. Because he's now being accused of choking wife Brooke Mueller out.

He was charged with second-degree assault, menacing and criminal mischief and was housed in the Pitkin County jail, cops said. He later posted $8,500 bond after speaking with a county judge, according to police spokeswoman Stephanie Dasaro in Aspen.

No, but really Charlie Sheen, what's wrong with you?

Conspiracy Theorist? Check.
Racist? Check.
Druggie? Check.
Wifebeater? Check.

Also, Charlie Sheen, what's wrong with the people you marry or try to marry?

Kelly Preston ended up with John Travolta, and they both ended up scary Scientologists.

Denise Richards went totally fucking bonkers and had a show on E! where all bonkers people get shows.

This one was drunk and also isn't talking to cops which will just make this worse.

Better question: What's wrong with us? How is Charlie Sheen the highest paid actor on TV? Do you know anybody who actually watches Two and a Half Men? The real conspiracy theory is how Charlie Sheen still has a career. The guy is a bona. fide. fuckup. He is also invincible.

This incident, like every other Charlie Sheen incident, will matter not to anybody.

Charlie Sheen could burn down the Chateau Marmont with His Holiness the Dalai Lama in it after getting too crazy with his homemade meth lab, and Hollywood wouldn't hesitate to give him the leading role in a six-picture feature adaptation of Redwall as the lead mouse. And he'd win an Oscar for it.

Whatever. When this civilization is dead and the Avatard aliens or whoever are trying to understand our history and they get to the part about Charlie Sheen's career and the human compassion it somehow fueled itself on to keep going and going and never fail to die, all they'll need to do is watch this scene, which is basically the answer, and also, might serve as an essential part of the complex algorithm that is our ability as a species to conjure up forgiveness, or indulge ourselves in masochism, or something.

I think we like his smile. That has to be it.

NWA Flight 253: Winners, Losers, Heroes, and The Schadenfreude of Burning Balls [Travel]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 15:15:00 -0500

Some guy tried to light an explosive devise, ended up producing a mediocre fireworks show inside of an airplane. So, he failed, ended up with burned balls. Now we have heroes and tighter air travel regulations. Also: he was Al-Qaeda.

LOSER: Abdul Farouk Abdulmutallab—or whatever his name is—tried to light a mixture of powder he'd taped to his leg, trying to kill everyone on board. Asshole. Well, he was foiled. And again, as Ravi pointed out yesterday, news organizations didn't even get his name right:

ABC news are naming that suspect as Abdul Farouk Abdulmutallab, who they say is an engineering student at University College, London. (Wall Street Journal: "Abdul Mudallad"; MSNBC: "Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab".)

Heh. He doesn't deserve to have his name correct! Paging Alessandra Stanley! I'd call him "Fuckface FireBalls Magoo" but I think that'd also denote a #SorryGabe tag, and I'm far past my quota for the month. Scary moment of foretelling, however: his Dad had called the U.S. embassy in Nigeria six months ago to warn them of his son's radicalization. Eegh.

BRIEF HISTORY OF LOSERS LIKE HIM: You'd think terrorists would know that it's probably a bad idea to fuck around on an airplane, because people on airplanes who are near them will undoubtedly kick the shit out of them on the regular, and ask questions later. Terrorists, don't you get it? Airline passengers all around the world—and especially Americans—will not hesitate to give you a down home ass stomping if you wild out. Richard Reid tried to do it in 2001, they kicked the shit out of him. Some guy shouted "I've got a bomb" in January and they kicked the shit out of him. This guy had an argument with an off-duty pilot, and they kicked the shit out of him and duct-taped him to his seat. Etc, etc, etc. Basically, if you even remotely appear to look like you're going to bring some ruckus on an airplane, your fellow passengers will kick the shit out of you. As was the case here. Good on those passengers. Or good on this one passenger!

WINNERS: Us! Because he failed. Also, this good looking fellow named Jasper Schuringa, who was identified as the guy who stopped Paula Abdul Farouk Whatever.

"I pulled the object from him and tried to extinguish the fire with my hands and threw it away," Schuringa told CNN. Schuringa said his hands were "pretty burned" after incident, but said the injuries were minor. "I am fine. I am shaken up. I am happy to be here."

You will also be happy to belatedly be the recipient of an abundance of ass in your stocking for Christmas. Dude's already got a Facebook fan page, which includes a marriage proposal. NICE.

LOSERS: People traveling into the US on international flights. If you're flying into America, and you look even remotely upset about your honey-roasted peanuts, you're going to be read the riot act and sent to a dark room with a lightbulb as soon as you land. The increased security measures this thing has prompted go something like this:

Passengers on international flights coming into America only get one carry-on.
During the final hour of your flight coming into America, you won't be able to get out of your seat.
Or access your carry-on baggage.
Or have "personal belongings or other items on their laps."
And possibly, no electronics at all during international flights going into America. This is unconfirmed as wide policy, but if true, will make sitting next to me very awful, as Radiohead's oeuvre is typically my flight music of choice, and I will be forced to hum Kid A for upwards of six hours the next time I take an international flight back to America (next week). Or if I'm feeling really sadistic, Pablo Honey.

Remember when you used to be able to go to the gate and meet people at the gate? That was at the beginning of this decade! And here we are, at the end of this decade! Where some people can't even take a piss for the entire hour final hour of their flight. The times, they are changing.

Biggest Assholes: Al-Qaeda. Everyone who was pretty sure he wasn't an Al-Qaeda operative and just an asshole with thankfully bad engineering skills is wrong: he's an associated asshole.

Best Schadenfreude: The kid probably burned his balls really badly. The Red Hat Ladies of Terrorism—What? They're everywhere and nowhere at once. It makes sense.—sewed "80 grams of PETN, a compound related to nitro-glycerin used by the military" into his underwear by their top bomb maker in Yemen. If this guy's their top bomb maker, well, he's probably getting a demotion today. Awful upshot, however? Everyone's balls will be examined more thoroughly whenever they travel here on out:

The device intended to blow up the Northwest flight was made at the location in Yemen, according to Abdulmutallab, and consisted of a six-inch packet of powder and a syringe with a liquid. Both were sewn into the student's underwear so they would be near his testicles and unlikely to be detected, he told agents.

Basically, terrorists mess up everything for everyone. Trenchant Geopolitical Observation: Everyone should just blow out their cherry bombs and chill the fuck out.

[Top Photo via Getty Images]

Having This Wang in Your Face Definitely Qualifies as a "Situation." [Revelations]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 14:00:00 -0500

Jersey Shore castmember The Situation used to be a male stripper. "Surprise," right?

The Forgivable Loins of Jude Law Have Found Their Way Back Into Sienna Miller's Heart [Gossip Roundup]

Foster Kamer — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 12:00:00 -0500

Sienna and Jude's balls: Barbados-bound. Together they'll make domestic reconciliation layer cake. Lady Gagadong's moneyballs will drop on New Years. William Hurt is your new existential bicycle. Gene Simmons is still trying to rock. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Hell yeah: Sienna Miller and Jude Law are back like woah. Sienna invited Jude to spend time in Barbados to celebrate their birthdays; not you, not me, just Jude. I'm for this. I can't explain why yet, but if Sienna Miller and Jude "I follow my dick and not the other way around" Law can work their shit out, who can't? Also, isn't Barbados kinda whimsical? I hear it is. I'm not sure. [Page Six]
Demi Moore's pissed off about her W cover in which they erased part of her hip. I mean, better than her face, right? [Page Six]
Our Lady of the Immaculate Penis, Lady Gaga, will be performing at Miami's hotel-as-nightclub Kingdom of Spend, The Fontainebleau, for New Year's Eve. Well! Page Six is using this for their lead item: the show is becoming the most expensive ticket in the country for NYE. Gaga's only getting $300,000 for the show, meanwhile, ticket sales are above $1M. There're "a few $25,000 tables" left, and a GA ticket would run you $425. Meanwhile, in New York, you can freeze your ass off, go to Lucky Chang's, and tell your High Priestess of the Bar to go on stage, wear a funny hat, and sing "Poker Face" until it's 2010 or until everyone blacks out, and it'll only run you about $30. That's assuming they kick you out after taking your wallet. New York: where everything's simply better. [Page Six]
Page Six thinks they kind of have some kind of exclusive on Mary J. Blige taking "no more drama" from her husband by hitting him in the kisser at her album release party. It looks to me like she's wiping some ketchup off his face, but, you know, we all see life through different lenses, or something. Maybe she's hitting him in the face because her release party was at M2/Mansion, which suuuucks. [Page Six]
Jamie Pressley got married to this dude four months after she met him. FOUR MONTHS. [People]
So, the new Yankees DH we got on a one-year contract instead of trying to keep Matsui went to Southern Hospitality—the restaurant Justin Timberlake once had some kind of stake in—and bought all of his friends dinner? And then Joey Fatone showed up? This item is too weird and I can't tell where the PR spin is coming from and I think I'm gonna be sick. NEXT. [Page Six]
Gene Simmons is still totally rock and roll and still totally kicking people's asses. Rock. [NYDN]
Angelina Jolie's basically like, "I'm crazy and want to fuck other dudes and when Brad Pitt and I argue about this things get heated." Lady, no shit. She said Brad gets "defiant." I hope this doesn't explain the beard. Then again, when I get "defiant," I normally just knock things over. Like trash cans. Mailboxes. Small people who aren't children but are not considered
"by law" vertically challenged. Things that make satisfying noises when they break. You ever throw a really, reallyfuckingbig rock into a lake? It make this GA-GLOOP sound as it crashes. It's incredibly satisfying. [Page Six]
Nic Cage being sued for all of his money makes me sad. Biggie was right: Mo Money, Mo Problems, no matter who you are. Even if you are Nic Cage, this is absolutely the case! [Page Six]
Rihanna played Tug of War in the lobby at the Bryant Park Hotel with her friends. Over luggage. You know who lost? Rihanna's friends. Because they were staying at the Bryant Park Hotel. Who comes to town and stays on 42nd Street besides Fashion Week people and your parents? ON THE REALS. [Page Six]
Nick Cannon and his old lady Mariah Carey got some underprivileged kids presents. BAWWWWZ. Also, "old lady," funny because it's true. [NYDN]
Well, this is stupid. Page Six is trying to convince you that Fergie and Josh "I Cheated on Fergie and Had Sex With a Stripper" Duhamel are trying to have a baby together, because they were at a baby store, looking at things. Not at all because they may have been buying something for somebody else. Like me. [Page Six]
Kanye West went to go see Avatard with Amber Rose, and he's now going to make his new album dressed entirely in blue. [People]
H8U, Page Six, when you get into political reporting. There's some assemblyman named Richard Brodsky who runs some kind of public advocacy platform and also, apparently, apartments out of his barn, which he needs to clear up the violations on after his tenants ratted on him. One of them was like, "Not enough peanut butter, PLZ K THX." [Page Six]
The NYDN runs down the Hollywood flameouts of the aughts, but they trenchantly observe that the careers of everyone who was in Scooby Doo basically got totally fucked. BAROO? indeed. [NYDN]
People who aren't Jewish supposedly think the Coen Brothers' A Serious Man is too "inside Matzo Ball," or too Jewish. I mean, they're probably right. [Page Six]
TMZ wants to know if you'd rather have sex with Goldie Hawn or Kate Hudson. I kind of think this is an all-or-nothing proposition. [TMZ]
William Hurt was eating at some Turkish restaurant alone. [Page Six]
It's Jared Leto's birthday! [D-Listed]

Okay, holidays are over, finally. Now we can get to your next reason to shamelessly get drunk and reminisce: New Year's! Also, did anybody get engaged yesterday? I hear Christmas is a big day for that kind of thing. Happy Boxing Day! That's today, right? Ugh. Yes. Too much Egg Nog. Time to dance it off.

AP : Possible Al Qaeda Terror Attack on Transatlantic Flight [Breaking]

Ravi Somaiya — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:59:58 -0500

There were reports that 'firecrackers' had gone off on a flight from Holland to Detroit on Friday. Several people were slightly hurt. US Intelligence sources have now told the Associated Press the suspect said he was acting for Al-Qaeda.

The source, said to be a "senior US counter-terror official", said the man intended to blow Delta Flight 253 up, but the bomb failed. There was panic on the Airbus 330 which had 278 passengers on board. One person, possibly the suspect, was sent to the University of Michigan Medical Center at Ann Arbor, according to a hospital spokesperson.

ABC news are naming that suspect as Abdul Farouk Abdulmutallab, who they say is an engineering student at University College, London. (Wall Street Journal: "Abdul Mudallad"; MSNBC: "Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab".) They also add that he was flying to the United States for a religious ceremony. He was in government databases, they say, but not on a no-fly list.

As for the Al-Qaeda link, again via ABC:

Authorities have no corroboration of that information, and the credibility of the suspect's statements are being questioned, officials said.

The White House response, via Fox News (who can report straight sometimes):

President Barack Obama was notified of the incident by a military aide while vacationing with his family in Hawaii and convened a secure conference call with Homeland Security and Counter-terrorism Adviser John Brennan and NSS Chief of Staff Denis McDonough to discuss it, White House spokesman Bill Burton said.

"He asked to arrange a subsequent secure call and in that call instructed that all appropriate measures be taken to increase security for air travel. The President is actively monitoring the situation and receiving regular updates," Burton said in a statement.

More as it comes in.

Update:CNN says the Department of Homeland Security will not be raising the airline terror alert from "high" but some additional security measures will be taken at airports, which could include "extra screening" and more canine teams. Good news: Potential terrorist plot failed. Bad news: Going home from the holidays just got a little more annoying.

CNN is also reporting a weird coincidence: Another guy was arrested today on the same route, same airline, (different flight) for shouting "pro-Afghanistan, anti-American" statements and generally being rowdy. Law enforcement say the two incidents aren't related—the guy was just drunk:

Facebook Basically Rubbing Google's Face In Their Delicious Free Meals [Food Fight]

Adrian Chen — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 17:04:45 -0500

A string of cutbacks have threatened Google's status as a veritable Shangri-la of free gourmet food. Meanwhile, Facebook is ramping up the dining perks. Today the Times suggests Facebook might be "the new standard-bearer for corporate-sponsored dining." Food fight!

All the hallmarks of the newly deposed corporate dining king—Google—are present in Frances Dinkelspiels' tour of Facebook HQ's cafeteria. (And not just Josef Desimone, the chef Facebook poached from Google last year.) Whereas pre-Recession America went gaga over the "Google 15", today we're supposed to pity/hate Facebook employees who pack on the "Facebook 15" due to all that "glistening pink lox":

Fred Labbe, a credit analyst who arrives at work at 5:45 a.m. to reach the European markets, said he ate at least two meals a day at Facebook. "The food is fantastic," Mr. Labbe said one recent morning as he savored a plate of scrambled eggs and a bagel smothered in glistening pink lox.

In the six months since he started at Facebook, Mr. Labbe said, he has put on at least four pounds - a problem so common that employees joke about gaining the "Facebook 15" after they begin work at the company.

In Google's considerable perks portfolio, free food always held a special place. More than a simple convenience, the gourmet cafeterias piled high with lobster or whatever were a potent symbol of both the dedication of the young Google employees—they don't even have time to pack a lunch!—and the all-encompassing, slightly sinister embrace of the big G. Now it's Facebook playing surrogate mother figure to its fresh-faced employees while gently pushing them to take over the world:

Offering free food, and copious amounts of it, is part of Facebook's strategy to encourage employees to work long hours. A significant number of the 800 employees at the company's main campus are in their early 20s, fresh off their college years where they pulled all-nighters and hung out talking in their dorm rooms. Facebook is famous for its regular "hackathons," where employees are invited to stay up all night and work on programs and platforms that are not part of their normal assignments; the kitchen staff participates by creating new dishes that are served at midnight, 3 a.m. and at breakfast time.

In short, food is a lubricant that helps keep the innovation machine running.

In fact, Facebook is taking the food obsession a step further, allowing employees to actually cook it via highly-coveted "Internships" with the head chef. When employees are begging to cook food for other employees you know you've tapped into a self-perpetuating anthill force that's begging to be bent towards global domination.

And, of course the requisite note about how bougie all the food is:

[Chef Josef Desimone] said he tried to use meat from animals that had not been exposed to antibiotics or genetically modified feed; organic produce; milk and butter from local purveyors like Strauss Dairy and Clover Farms; and live-caught or sustainable fish.

The Facebook vs. Google rivalry might swivel on a pivot made of Thai-spiced cilantro chicken with red curry sauce.

Old Onion Article Saves Christmas [The Onion]

Adrian Chen — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 15:29:22 -0500

World events have screeched to a halt. Here is a funny article from the Onion: "Weed Delivery Guy Saves Christmas." You guys like the Onion, right? If anyone comments with "slow news day, huh?" You will be sorry. [Onion]

Seems that an undergraduate creative writing ... [Creative Writing]

Adrian Chen — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 13:07:48 -0500

Seems that an undergraduate creative writing class took over the Times' editorial page today.

Bloomberg Quietly Scraps General News Department [Scrooged]

Ravi Somaiya — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 13:06:46 -0500

A tipster says that the 22 Bloomberg News journalists who made up its non-business, or 'World News', team were told the section was being scrapped last week, just before Christmas. As of today they have still not been reassigned.

Our source says journalists were told that:

...reports of natural disasters, plane crashes and the like will come from the AP, The New York Times, the Washington Post or Britain's Daily Telegraph.

He also adds that the scrapping of the department is, internally, a defeat for the tantrum-prone editor-in-chief Matt Winkler.

Tom Secunda, one of Mike Bloomberg's earliest associates, and Dan Doctoroff, sent from City Hall to oversee the company, have been campaigning for much of the past year for Bloomberg to concentrate solely on business news and leave the rest to others. None of this stopped Winkler, in interview after interview, to insist [sic] that Bloomberg planned to expand its general news coverage to compete on all levels with Reuters.

Chairman Peter Grauer was apparently also in the dark — when asked about the disbanding of the section by someone in the London newsroom, on December 18, he said it was "not on my radar screen."

Some People Wait Until the Holidays To Do Mean Things [Sad]

Ravi Somaiya — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 12:10:12 -0500

Two examples of downright, calculating festive nefariousness have happened today in Afghanistan and China. One set of media-savvy people wanted to hide their cruelty and the other wanted to show it off. See if you can guess which is which.

The Chinese decided, completely by accident and with no thought that a lot of the West shuts down today, to sentence a political dissident, Liu Xiaobo, to 11 years for inciting "subversion of state power." It was the harshest punishment of a dissident for two decades, according to the Times of London. Liu published six critical articles on the internet and organized a petition. One of the demands of that petition was that "we should end the practice of viewing words as crimes." The irony will probably not keep him warm in Siberia or wherever the government send him.

In Afghanistan, meanwhile, the Taliban released a video of a captured American soldier to taunt his family on Christmas day. Which I suppose is not much worse than what went on in Abu Ghraib, but that's really no bar to be setting for decency to your fellow man. Pfc. Bowe Robert Bergdahl, 23, was captured in June. From CNN:

To release this video on Christmas Day is an affront to the deeply concerned family and friends of Bowe Bergdahl, demonstrating contempt for religious traditions and the teachings of Islam," said U.S. Navy Rear Adm. Gregory Smith, spokesman for NATO's International Security Assistance Force.

To make it worse — the army has been unable to reach Bergdahl's family in Idaho because of the storm in the Midwest. People, people, people. Can we all just be a little nicer to each other? Have countless heartwarming Christmas movies in which a mean person learns the value of generosity and warmth not taught us anything? Copies of Trading Places and Scrooged should be dispatched to Hu Jintao and Maulana Fazlullah, or some other prominent Taliban leader, immediately.

Tim Robbins Saves Own Stalker's Life [Stalker Deluxe]

Adrian Chen — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 11:09:35 -0500

There's that fable, "The Lion and the Mouse," where a hungry lion spares a mouse, and the mouse eventually repays him by freeing him from a trap. Tim Robbins saved some guy's life and was repaid with this Gawker Stalker.

A tipster wrote of his encounter with the recently-publicly-single Robbins yesterday:

Ha. So normally I would have texted this in the moment it happened but I really wanted to sit down and get it right. This afternoon I was hustling from my Christmas shopping in the East Village back to Queens. I was making good time getting to the Union Square station when I got caught at the corner of 13th and 3rd. As I stood there, I turned to my right and realized that the man standing next to me in a full-length black fur coat was, indeed, Tim Robbins. My unfiltered immediate reaction, "That really sucks about the split; you guys were great!" The color then drained from his face. To try and mitigate, "At least the press didn't have a chance to give you too much shit?" He grumbled back, "They will." Then he did a soccer mom save to alert me to the cab that was about to hit me. And that was my Christmas Eve with Susan Sarandon's old boytoy.

And so Tim Robbins, the massively fur-coated lion, saved our tipster's mouse of a life.

The moral of "The Lion and the Mouse" is, Little friends may prove great friends. But in the real world, little friends will just rat you out to the very website that is rumormongering about your old girlfriend and her possible Ping Pong-playing hipster lover. (Lest we be charged with Sexist Ageism™, we just want to make clear that "old" here is used in the sense of "former," and not "dating from the remote past," "showing the effects of time or use," or even "of a grayish or dusty color.")

The tangled ping pong tournament that is life goes thwacking along.

Has your life recently been saved by a celebrity? Tell us: Stalker sightings can be submitted to stalker@gawker.com or to the #Stalker hashtag, if you're an approved commenter.

Woman Who Tackled Pope Has Pope-Charging Past [Pope Tackling]

Adrian Chen — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 10:55:42 -0500

That woman who tackled the Pope before he gave his Christmas Eve Mass last night? She's the same person who ran at him last Christmas. She even wore the same sweatshirt. (It's her "pope-tacklin' sweatshirt.") [NYDN]

Merry Christmas Soldiers! You Can Now Knock Each Other Up! [War Is Hell]

Ravi Somaiya — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 10:45:07 -0500

Soldiers in Iraq were, until today, likely to face disciplinary action for getting pregnant or getting another soldier pregnant. Not any more!

It makes sense that a bunch of young people in peak physical condition thrown together would... go on exercises. But a CNN story today reveals the scandals afoot under the command of Major General Anthony Cucolo (who put the rules in place for the 22,000 troops, including 1,682 women under his command).

The rule prohibited:

...becoming nondeployable for reasons within the control of the soldier," including "becoming pregnant or impregnating a soldier ... resulting in the redeployment of the pregnant soldier.

Probably because eight women got pregnant under his sexxxy command. While the rule said a court martial was a possible punishment, four of them got letters of reprimand and four were "not impregnated while deployed" so beat the rule. Ha! The men were not so lucky.

Of the men involved, three were reprimanded, Cucolo said. One, a sergeant, was given a more severe punishment of a written reprimand in his permanent file because he fraternized with a subordinate and committed adultery. A letter in the permanent file can affect a person's career because it is evaluated when a service member is considered for promotion. A fourth man was never reprimanded because the pregnant soldier refused to identify who the father was...

All this intrigue can now go on in the desert unabashed. So if the deployment's a rockin', don't come a knockin'.

What Would Tiger Woods Do? [Hazard]

Ravi Somaiya — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:24:07 -0500

Either Accenture didn't get all the Tiger Woods ads down in time for the holidays, or they're starting a clever new campaign. The intrepid Foster Kamer spotted this seven-foot-tall backlit message next to the security line at LaGuardia Airport today.

Update (1.42pm): A tipster points out that this is not the only Tiger Woods billboard still up at LaGuardia. It's amazing how words can take on such different meanings.

Chestnuts Roasting On... An Efficient Burner That Meets Emissions Standards [War On Christmas]

Ravi Somaiya — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 07:44:51 -0500

Christmas is a time for trees. Stockings. The crackling of logs on a fire. Except that the last one causes emissions and ruins the planet! You bastards! In towns around the country, the government is battling this menace. With spies.

'Experts' say, in this New York Times article, that old stoves and fireplaces can put out as much bad stuff (a technical term) as seven diesel buses. So they've started a kind of cash-for-clunkers program to replace these bad, dreadful, beautiful, romantic old stoves with microwaves and toasters. Well, more efficient new stoves. Whatever.

Some old-stove-havers are calling bullshit on the whole thing and refusing to take the $1000 cash in and buy a new one (which costs from $1500 to $4000). Others have gone all Stasi about it and are reporting their neighbors to the Man if they spot smoke coming from chimneys. Here's what happened to a California woman. Probably a rosy-cheeked California woman at that:

I get nasty notes from someone here in town on my woodpile," Mrs. Clark, 65, said. "There is one woman who walks up and down the street looking for smoke in people's chimneys. She has her own spies - kids and other women who walk around with notebooks, looking for smoke.

Even worse — the San Francisco bay area has banned wood fires today — on Christmas motherfucking day — because weather conditions are not conducive to dispersing the emissions. You'll have to watch our Gawker Internet Yule Log™ instead.

In other news: Bing Crosby is to be replaced by Jar-Jar Binks in a new, all-CGI version of White Christmas. Michael Bay is slated to direct. Santa, played by Jason Statham, is graphically eviscerated by a reindeer at the end. In 3-D. While this (NSFW — but who cares today) plays.

Obama Starts Vacation, Has Actual Red Phone in Case of Emergency [Lei-ing Low]

Ravi Somaiya — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 06:34:06 -0500

While you may be hoping that something happens today to break any familial tension and give you something to talk about with aging relatives, the President is essentially crossing his fingers for an incredibly uneventful holiday in Hawaii.

Last time the Obamas tried to get away from it all for a little while was in summer — but then Ted Kennedy went and died and Ben Bernanke was renominated as Fed chairman. He already had to delay the start of this vacation to helicopter over the healthcare bill. Now he and the family — and his aides and military advisors — have taken off he really, really wants to do nothing. From the AP:

White House spokesman Bill Burton told reporters aboard Air Force One on Thursday that the president wants to spend his holiday in his birthplace away from the news-of-the-moment distractions that have dominated his first year in office. No public events were scheduled and the best any of the president's aides could promise would be bets whether lefty Obama would out-drive his good friends - joining him from Chicago - on the golf course.

Which raises the question, if he's really determined not to do much, as to what are Presidential round-the-house clothes are like. Are there some stained sweatpants with the presidential seal on? Do the Secret Service have to sniffer-dog a 'Vegas or Bust' hoody that someone gave the president as part of an in-joke in 1993? Are there — and this is a question of vital national importance — official Snuggies?

Police searched a car in Missouri — ... [Hohoho]

Ravi Somaiya — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 06:27:07 -0500

Police searched a car in Missouri — and found 20lbs of Marijuana wrapped as gifts.

Theological Investigations: Why Do The Jews Eat Chinese Food On Christmas? [Cultural Anthropology]

Foster Kamer & Adrian Chen — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 18:30:00 -0500

December: when people who aren't Christopher Hitchens consider God, and the Miracles of the Universe He/She/It/RuPaul bestow upon us. But there's one question every year that humanity has yet to find a sufficient answer for.

Christians think about Big Baby Jesus. Jews think about their magical eight-night Pennzoil. Kwanzaa...I don't know. [Do you?] But a long held mystery of the universe: On Christmas, the Semites of America eat Chinese food. Why? Sure: it's the only thing that's open. Lots of Chinese food could, I guess, be considered Kosher. There're plenty of "logical" reasons, none of which are really all that sufficient when you get down to it! Fact is, an essential part of the answer to this question has been missing: authority.

That said, there are only so many times you can ask "WWJ8LD?" (or: "What would former New York Times columnist and dumpling expert Jennifer 8. Lee do?) every December 25th when it comes to the yearly mystic ritual of Jews and Chinese food. Well, Jenny "8-Ball" Lee: you're not the only expert on this in New York. In fact, you're playing second fiddle in this city to someone on our masthead: Adrian Chen.

Adrian's half-Jewish! He's also of Asian decent. And just because he's not speaking at the 92nd Street Y doesn't mean The Jews (i.e. me) or the rest of the world (i.e. whoever's still on the internet right now) don't need to hear this knowledge unearthed for the first time from such an authoritative first-hand source. Sometimes, when you're doing investigative reporting, the answer is right under your nose, as was the case for me here! It goes without saying, but the whole "Jewish thing" may have made getting past this exponentially more difficult...up until now. This is game-changing work right here. Presenting the answer to the most important, multi-ethnic, cross-cultural question in the history of America's December Holidays:

[Click to Enlarge.]

Happy Holidays, everyone! May the cookies of your holiday fortune be filled with wonderful things.

If You Lived in Sweden You'd Be Watching Donald Duck Cartoons Right Now [Christmas]

Adrian Chen — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 17:03:12 -0500

Swedes are sort of like Earth's benevolent alien overlords, right? They just are so different than us, gazing down from their icy zone! For one thing, they have a strange tradition of watching Donald Duck cartoons each Christmas Eve.

Specifically, they watch a 1958 Christmas special called "Donald Duck and his friends wish you a Merry Christmas." The annual broadcast is a huge nation-wide event: According to Slate's Jeremy Stahl, as many as half the population may at this very moment be sitting in front of their TVs watching Kalle Anka och hans vänner önskar God Jul, which is what they call the special in their alien language, Swedish.

God Jul!

Pope Tackled During Christmas Eve Mass (Now with Video) [Breaking]

Adrian Chen — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:51:33 -0500

The Vatican's Christmas Eve mass had an NFL quality tonight. A mentally unstable woman knocked over Pope Benedict XVI as he walked down the aisle at St. Peter's Basilica. The Pope is OK. Thank God. (Seriously, do it.) [AP]Update:

We have papal contact.

Presenting The Gawker Internet Yule Log™ [Merry Christmas]

Adrian Chen — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:27:50 -0500

From 1966-1989, New York's WPIX broadcast footage of a Yule log burning in a fireplace each Christmas day. Today, a bunch of channels do the same. Now, Gawker is taking the Yule log into the Internet Age. Behold!

To use the Gawker Internet Yule Log™:
1)On Christmas morning, press "Play".
2)Bask in its glory.

Merry Christmas, you ungrateful wretches.

Bloomberg Reporter Caught Putting Words in Source's Mouth [Journalismism]

Adrian Chen — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:39:51 -0500

It's annoying to interview a source for an hour just to get one stupid quote. So, Bloomberg reporter Dan Golden thought he'd go ahead and write a quote for his source. One critical of a Bloomberg competitor, no less.

AmericaBlog's John Aravosis received the tip from someone at the University of Phoenix, which Aravosis says will be Bloomberg's competitor once they launch a planned for-profit education project. Golden (who Talking Biz News says is a Pulitzer Prize Winner and former Wall Street Journal reporter) sent this email to investment banker Mark DeFusco during the editing phase of a piece he was working on about for-profit education which focused on the decline of the University of Phoenix (which is owned by the Apollo Group):

Hi Mark,

How are you? My story's going through editing and my editor had a couple questions. One is — I identified you as an education investment banker — and he was wondering what deals you've done, and if perhaps there's one that's particularly noteworthy that we might mention.

Also, the theme of my story seems to be along the lines of — apollo has done well as a stock and had rapid growth, but now it's facing some potential vulnerabilities — a less sympathetic federal administration, plus possibly the limits to its growth (meaning that its shift to axia college has led to some problems because its growth has come with low-income, less prepared students who are more likely to drop out). I'd love it if you could come up something on the record that might reflect some of this — perhaps along the lines of — Phoenix's original model was magic because XXX — but the current model has some of the same flaws that have dogged other for-profit schools — X and Y.
Perhaps if you have some time this afternoon we could discuss?

Thanks,

Dan

We're guessing it was for this story. (Suspiciously, the story does not appear to be in Bloomberg's online archives, and the link you get to the story via Google leads to a different University of Phoenix-related story. We had to use the always-useful Google 'cache' button to find it.) It appears that DeFusco didn't take Golden's suggestions verbatim, but—SHOCKER!—he did offer some helpful support to Golden's overall thesis.

We would dial up the outrage meter, but this actually seems like a pretty good way for journalists to speed up the super tedious process of reporting a story. (Why do you think I became a blogger?) Maybe Golden could teach a seminar at his local J-school: "Interviews 101: How to write them."

Susan Sarandon's (Possibly) Prophetic SNL Appearance [Susan Sarandon]

Adrian Chen — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:59:01 -0500

Whether or not Susan Sarandon is hooking up with 31 year-old Ping Pong boy Jonathan Bricklin, she's clearly OK with the image of a cradle-robbing cougar. Remember that SNL spoof Mothers Day music video, "Motherlover?"

Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake's follow-up to 2006's Dick in the Box was released this past May—and there was Susan Sarandon as one of the song's titular mother's, being loved with waffle condiments by a goateed Justin. The video came just prior to Sarandon's split from Tim Robbins and summertime rumors that she'd been cheating on him. Sexy!

Now, we learn that Sarandon may have left Robbins for Jonathan Bricklin, the hipster entrepreneur who's devoted his life to making the New York social scene a safe space for ping pong. Sarandon's rep is refuting our theory that the 63 year-old left Tim Robbins to hook up with a 31 year-old Bricklin, telling ABC News: "Susan's relationship with Jonathan Bricklin is strictly a business one." OK!

So was Sarandon's role a winking spoof on her own penchant for bright young things or a stupid move, in light of her rumored infidelities with said young things? (Which, we admit, may be too good to be true.) Either way, she looked pretty damn good doing it. Slide show with accompanying humorous commentary: Engage!

"Who knew ping pong left you so parched?"

"I've been a fan ever since my parents conceived me to the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' soundtrack."

"So you're SURE Tim isn't going to freak out about this, right?"

"Keep your dirty mitts off my boyfriend!" -Jessica Biel

"We must never let these pictures fall into the hands of the gossip website www.gawker.com, lest we become the subject of a slideshow with accompanying funny captions."

"So... how old ARE you, anyway? No no no, I completely agree that age is just a number. I'm just kind of a numbers freak is all. Here, we'll do a word problem: If I subtracted your age from mine, would I get a number lower or higher than the number of pull ups I can do? I can do 32 pull-ups."

The video.

Snowball Fight Violence Continues, Armed Vigilantes Abound [Sad]

Ravi Somaiya — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:30:14 -0500

First someone pulled a gun during a snowball fight in DC. Now, in Wales of all places, a 20-year-old man was stabbed to death with a kitchen knife after another one, apparently, got out of hand.

The BBC report that Anthony Finbar Burke was stabbed in the abdomen near his home in North Wales at around 10.30 last night. He later died in hospital. A 19-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of murder. And, one presumes, extremely unsportsmanlike conduct.

Be careful before you form snow into a ball and throw it jovially at someone else, like you've seen on TV. The world is a tough place now. And people come to snowball fights armed to the teeth. The woman in the picture above has filled her snowball with dirty smack needles. And that thing hanging from her shoulder? A shiv. If you fuck with her she will cut you. CUT YOU. So keep your distance.

Was Bernie Madoff Assaulted in Prison? [Ouch]

Ravi Somaiya — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 11:56:43 -0500

ABC is reporting that Bernie may have been given a savage holiday beating — in which he sustained injuries so serious he had to be hospitalized.

WTVD, an ABC affiliate in Raleigh-Durham says that, according to sources, Madoff was admitted to Duke University Hospital on Friday with facial fractures, broken ribs and a collapsed lung. He was apparently discharged two days ago, though officials at Butner prison, where he's serving 150 years, would not confirm the report. They did say, however, that Madoff had been moved to the medical wing of the prison.

Maybe he just walked into a really big door.

Tired Harry Reid Almost Accidentally Kills Health Care Reform [Whoops]

Adrian Chen — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 11:11:58 -0500

Nevada Senator Harry Reid has been pulling a few too many all-nighters trying to push the health care bill through the senate. When it came time to vote for Reid to vote on his own baby, he accidentally said "no."

According to the Times' Prescriptions Blog:

The majority leader of the United States Senate, Harry Reid of Nevada, on the verge of making history by shepherding through landmark health care legislation, was called upon by the clerk to cast his vote.

And Mr. Reid, who has fought, night and day, nail and tooth, for months to get the health care bill adopted, looked up from his desk and said: "No."

For a millisecond there was silence in the chamber. Had he lost it? Was he joking?

Within half a second, Mr. Reid had switched his vote to "yes."

And after 25 straight days of bitter, partisan debate, senators on both sides of the aisle busted up laughing

Reid would later chalk up the gaffe to being "bushed" after spending months working on the bill. We know the feeling, Reid. Last month we pulled an all-nighter to hit a deadline. The next morning we were so out of it we accidentally poured orange juice in our cereal instead of milk!

Joy! Wonder! Hasselhoff! Whales Dressed as Snowmen! [Hope Roundup]

Ravi Somaiya — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 09:41:11 -0500

The holidays are a time for hope, and drinking to excess. Both promote a rosy view of the world. Which might explain all the most-wonderful-time-of-the-year-type stories that abound today. Perfect if you're about to kill a relative/airline representative.

Kids are believing in Santa Claus for longer!
The jobless rate is, unexpectedly, going down. It's a Christmas miracle!
People are drinking tea, and having tea-parties, in a completely literal sense that has nothing to do with Glenn Beck. Tea is a good thing!
Apple's tablet will probably be out at the end of January. And we all know that it will save journalism. Joy!
And finally, a zoo in Japan, Yokohama Hakkeijima Sea Paradise, has dressed white beluga whales as snowmen!

However your holidays are going, be grateful ... [The Birds]

Ravi Somaiya — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 09:37:08 -0500

However your holidays are going, be grateful you're (probably) not under attack by peacocks.

The Campaign Against the Phrase 'Pro Life' [Rant]

Ravi Somaiya — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 08:10:44 -0500

The abortion issue will probably be at the center of attempts to finalize and sign the healthcare bill, if Senators like Ben Nelson are involved. People will be bandying the phrase 'pro-life' around to refer to anti-abortionists. They should stop.

It is a ridiculous piece of propaganda — who the hell is anti-life? — and has permeated even the most rigorous publications. A search on the New York Times website, for example, reveals that they have used it dozens of times (and not always in quotes from others) over the last month or so.

If self-proclaimed 'pro-lifers' were actually 'pro-life', rather than just anti-abortion, they would presumably also be against the death penalty and for increased regulation of guns. But that's often not the case. There is apparently no moral difficulty for many in holding lethal injection as sacrosanct as the embryo.

They would also, as this piece points out, be for increased contraceptive services — because in one sense an unwanted pregnancy avoided is a life saved. But they're not. They're just blindly anti-abortion.

It may be difficult, or impossible, to successfully reconcile the right to choose and those who would deny that choice in the healthcare bill that will hopefully go before the president soon. It's much, much easier for journalistic institutions to stop using the phrase 'pro-life' outside of quotation marks right now. This instant.

Senate Passes Healthcare Reform Bill [Success]

Ravi Somaiya — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 06:55:30 -0500

After what feels like seventeen years and 14 million column inches the Senate passed the healthcare bill 60-39 today (no Republicans voted for it). Assuming they agree on a final version with the House, here's what it will mean.

The public option and expansion of Medicare have been much discussed. They did not make it in the forms many wanted — due partly to the intransigence of Joe Lieberman and Ben Nelson. According to the New York Times, this is the substance of what passed. The bill would:

Require that most Americans have health insurance.
Add 15 million to Medicaid.
Subsidize private coverage for low and middle income people (at a cost of $871bn over 10 years, according to the Congressional Budget Office).
Cover 31 million Americans who are not currently covered, but leave 23 million uninsured in 2019, according to the CBO.
Prevent insurers denying coverage because of a person's medical condition.
Prevent insurers discriminating on the basis of sex or health status.
Prevent insurers rescinding care when someone becomes sick or disabled.
Force insurers to include a summary of benefits that "does not exceed four pages in length and does not include print smaller than 12-point font."
Limit insurance company profits by forcing them to spend between 80 and 85 cents of every dollar on healthcare.
Set up healthcare exchanges — a kind of marketplace for insurance shoppers which feature tax credits — that are the last remnants of a public option.

The bottom line seems to be that it's not perfect, but it is something. The thorny issue of abortion — many old men without wombs in both houses would like to deny it to women — will be dealt with when the House and Senate bills are reconciled. Here are some views from Senators, taken from the Times piece:

Senator Sherrod Brown, Democrat of Ohio, said insurance companies were often "just one step ahead of the sheriff."

Senator Dianne Feinstein, Democrat of California, said the industry "lacks a moral compass."

"Premiums are out of hand," Mrs. Feinstein said. "Chief executive salaries are out of hand. Administrative costs are out of hand. My bottom-line belief is that the health insurance industry should be nonprofit."

And Senator Sheldon Whitehouse, Democrat of Rhode Island, said the business model of the health insurance industry deserved to die.

"It deserves a stake through its cold and greedy heart," Mr. Whitehouse said.

The stake seems to have missed its target. But it may have wounded the insurance industry enough to make it more manageable.

Did Susan Sarandon Dump Tim Robbins for a Ping Pong Entrepreneur? [Rumormonger]

Adrian Chen — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:08:37 -0500

For 23 years Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins seemed a singularly stable Hollywood couple—until they split this summer. (A fact they announced yesterday.) What caused the breakup? A theory: Sarandon wanted to pursue ping pong entrepreneur Jonathan Bricklin.

A source tells us Sarandon, 63, is now in a relationship with the 31 year-old Bricklin. Which, first of all: Holy shit. Second of all: This suggests Sarandon's investment in Bricklin's Ping Pong social club, Spin, was not only motivated by her professed love of the game. Bricklin is a filmmaker whose latest (first?) film is a documentary about his father, the founder of Subaru of America. He's also one of three principals in Spin, which opened this September in the Flatiron and offers unlimited ping pong playing and hobnobbery for a modest $100/month membership fee. (Filmmakers Franck Raharinsoy and Bill Mack are the other two founders.)

If the rumor is true, the unlikely couple's relationship was probably sparked by their mutual appreciation for thwacking a little plastic ball across a net. According to the Observer, Sarandon and Bricklin first met in 2007 at one of the celebrity-studded "Naked Ping Pong" parties Bricklin and his two filmmaking buddies hosted in their Tribeca loft. (Alas, no actual nudity was involved.) Sarandon then hired the trio to make a video for Robbins' 50th birthday. (Whoops!) According to our source, "The rest is history."

A quick trip down Google lane finds Bricklin to be a cuddly hipster Ping Pong nerd, haplessly forehanding his way into the pages of Vogue, the Times and New York Social Diary. In 2008, he tried out for the Beijing Olympics in what must have been a joke. His level of play was described by USA Today as "marginally better than some pickup pingpong match in a college dorm rec room." (He lost in the first round, 4 sets to nil.)

We'll see if Sarandon and Bricklin are spotted playing any heated doubles matches in the near future.

Update: ABC News reports that Sarandon's publicist, Teal Cannady, denies that Sarandon has been volleying with Ping Pong boy:

"The rumors are absolutely untrue," Cannaday told ABCNews.com. "Susan's relationship with Jonathan Bricklin is strictly a business one."

Here's Bricklin playing Ping Pong in 2007 while waiting in line for the release of the iPhone. Yes, really.

[Pic Getty]

Winter Storm Girding Nation's Midsection Like Belt Made of Shit [Weather]

Adrian Chen — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 23:25:11 -0500

A slow-moving storm has socked in much of mid-western America just in time to annoy last-minute holiday travelers. Ice! Snow! Thunderstorms! So intense is the storm that it forced Mount Rushmore to close. God help us all. [NYT] [TWC]

Jay Leno Nearly Forgets to Shill For Budweiser [Product Placement]

Adrian Chen — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:43:52 -0500

According to Variety, "The Jay Leno Show" ranks first among all TV shows when it comes to product placement. In just three months, "Leno" racked up 1,015 product mentions. All this selling-out must have gotten to Leno's head tonight.

At the end of a segment in which Leno tries out various goofy Christmas gifts, he opens a beer using the butt of an Antelope and...

Leno's awkward moment of product misplacement was a weird little disruption that underscored how seamlessly selling has become integrated with entertainment. (That is, if you consider "The Jay Leno Show" entertainment.) He glances off-screen as if some shadowy Budweiser exec is standing there aiming a cross-bow at his chest... "Say our name, funnyman."

Although considering how advanced Leno appears to be at product placement, maybe it was just a ploy to get bloggers to write about it. In which case: Touché.

(Special thanks to reader Scott R. for the tip)

Possibly Explosive Hostage Situation in VA. Post Office [Breaking]

Adrian Chen — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:20:16 -0500

As many as five hostages are currently being held by a gunman in a Post Office in Wytheville, Va. Shots were fired, and the gunman is thought to have five pounds of plastic explosive strapped to his chest. [NYT] Update:

From CNN: "Man holding hostages at Virginia post office is in custody, CNN affiliate WDBJ reports."

Nuclear Bomb Researchers Accidentally Blow Up Building [Whoops]

Adrian Chen — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:01:42 -0500

Don't worry, it wasn't with a nuclear bomb! Last week, researchers at the Los Alamos National Laboratory accidentally blew up part of a building with "a gun which acts like a Civil War Cannon". Even crazier, in a way.

According to an "Occurrence Report" obtained by the non-profit Project on Government Oversight (POGO), researchers blew up their building with a powerful cannon used to study the types of forces produced by a nuclear explosion:

"On December 16, 2009, Shock and Detonation Physics Group researchers heard a loud unusual noise from Technical Area 15, Building 562 after firing a shot from a large-bore powder gun (LBPG).... the researchers conducted surveillance outside TA-15-562 and observed that two doors had been blown off the facility and concrete shielding blocks on the west and east side of the building were separated from the wall."

Although no one was hurt, a POGO source puts the damage at around $3 million. We're going to say it: That was $3 million of taxpayer funds well-spent. Forget those stem cell thingies. Blow up a couple buildings every month and we'll have high school students flooding science classes like they were Jonas Brothers concerts.

After Noah Shachtman's Danger Room picked up the item, a representative from the National Nuclear Security Administration sent a testy email to the blog claiming that "no building at Los Alamos was destroyed in this incident and any suggestion otherwise is the sort of irresponsible hyperbole we've come to expect from [POGO]." (They're probably a little defensive due to the string of embarrassing safety lapses POGO has exposed at LANL over the years.)

OK, now we are getting into the semantics of destruction: The spokesperson was criticizing a press release POGO sent out titled "Los Alamos National Researchers Accidentally Blow up Building with a Cannon." (Greatest press release ever?) That does not necessarily mean the WHOLE building was blown up, right? The Occurrence Report itself said that "two doors had been blown off the facility"—presumably in an upward direction? Furthermore... Oh, screw it, what the
hell are we even talking about: SCIENTISTS BLEW UP THEIR OWN BUILDING WITH THIS CANNON:

(From the Los Alamos National Laboratory Shock and Detonation Physics Group website.)

Here is the entire Occurrence Report. You'll note that a building being blown up with a civil war-type cannon rates as "Significance Category 2". We'd hate to see categories 3-10:

(Pick via Chadh's Flickr)