Defamer

Meathead's Gay Marriage Statement [Gays]

Seth — Thu, 15 May 2008 18:05:38 PDT

This just in—an official statement from Rob Reiner on today's history-making California Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage:

ROB REINER SAME SEX MARRIAGE STATEMENT
"Our nation was founded on the principle that all people are created equal. Today's decision is a huge step toward fulfilling that promise.

"Celebration is certainly called for, but the fight for equality is far from over.
"Court decisions may guarantee equality under the law, but the real struggle is for the tolerance of our fellow Americans.

"This decision by a majority-Republican court signals that it's time to put this kind of discrimination and bigotry behind us.

"Unfortunately, not everyone will hear the court's message. Already, here is a campaign being organized to overturn this decision at the ballot box. Californians must put an end to this sort of cynical and divisive politics once and for all.

"California has led our nation so many times before. I hope that once again we set an example that the nation will follow."

This concludes Meathead's statement on the California gay marriage ruling. Defamer Fun Fact: Rob Reiner is the spitting image of our Uncle Harvey, a dentist from Toronto. We're not even kidding! It's like they were separated at birth!

Previously: We Do! [Defamer]

There’s no shortage of sleazy surprises ... [Buy My Baby]

Molly Friedman — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:50:00 PDT

There’s no shortage of sleazy surprises in the world of baby picture pimping. Today, TMZ reports that soon-to-be-dad Matthew McConaughey and his model girlfriend Camila Alves have hired an actual agent to auction off photos of their upcoming newborn’s visage to the major glossies. And the “brand agent” in question, Todd Shemarya, has quite a record — he’s the man behind Brangelina’s record-setting deal with People, and Christina Aguilera’s far less pricey cover with the same weekly. As disturbed as we are that such a man exists, we’re more saddened to learn that former nude bongo player and hairy beach hippie McConaughey would cash in on his first kid. We're actually starting to miss the hobo doing push-ups outside a trailer we'd grown accustomed to. Then again, the $1MM that he's reportedly been offered by three separate spawn-obsessed mags can buy a lot of t-shirts. [a href="http://www.tmz.com/2008/05/15/mcconna-spawn-to-bring-in-big-bucks/">TMZ

This Day In Hollywood Catfight History Presents: When Bette Bludgeoned Joan [Defamer Golden Era]

Seth — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:35:00 PDT

We take a moment now to honor the memory of the two biggest bitches in Hollywood history—that would be Bette Davis and Joan Crawford—whose man-swiping, lesbian-overture-rebuffing, Oscar-campaign-sabotaging exploits provided the behavioral template for generations of shock starlets to come. Today's Daily Mail provides a highly engrossing and detailed account of their lifelong rivalry, its poisonous roots stemming of course over ownership of a man—in this case, actor Franchot Tone. (He might not look like much, but trust us—this guy was totally the Joel Madden of his day.) It all came to a head on the set of the 1962 sleeper thriller that would offer both women not only an unlikely comeback, but all the near-fatal accident-rigging they could handle:

"Davis, the attacker in the movie, was supposed only to simulate violence.But as she raised and swung her right foot, encased in a black anklestrapped shoe, she made contact with Crawford's head, gashing her scalp, which needed three stitches, and causing a lump the size of an egg."

Both women survived the shoot, and Davis would even earn an Oscar nomination—which she'd lose to Anne Bancroft. Crawford would of course go on to live in infamy as the subject of Faye Dunaway's kabuki-inspired turn as the dry-cleaning-averse actress in Mommie Dearest. Davis, meanwhile, would too wind up the subject of an unflattering memoir by one of her children, but eventually be better remembered for her timeless advice on the best way an aspiring starlet could get into Hollywood.

The bitter sexual jealousy that made Bette Davis wage war on Joan Crawford [Daily Mail]

Remembering Anthony Pellicano: The End is as Good as it Gets [Pellicano Notebook]

STV — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:15:00 PDT

And so it ends: The long local nightmare that was the Anthony Pellicano trial has ended with essentially the same whimpering inertia that marked its duration. Those early reports of Pellicano's convictions have fleshed out in the hours since: guilty as charged on 76 of 77 counts of racketeering, conspiracy, wiretapping, wire fraud and identity theft, yet acquitted of "a single count of unauthorized computer access," according to The New York Times. (His four co-defendants were convicted of racketeering and racketeering conspiracy.) Pellicano will be sentenced Sept. 24.

The LA Times's Carla Hall, meanwhile, has courtroom sketches:

Before the verdicts were read, Pellicano seemed at ease, grinning and scanning the room. But when he realized the jury had found him guilty, he crossed his arms, took his glasses off and looked around with a blank expression. A woman on the jury dabbed her eyes with a tissue.

We cried a little, too, for all the potential laid waste in this clusterfuck of justice: The potential for Anita Busch's comeback after Pellicano's dead-fish threat and wiretaps ended her career. The potential for Busch-destroyer Michael Ovitz to get a shovel in the back of the neck after slithering off the witness stand. The potential for the bottomless filth of Scary Hollywood Lawyer Bert Fields' testimony, which never came. The potential for "Mr. Pellicano," as he was forced to refer to himself as his own counsel, to just say, "Yeah, fuck it. Put me away; let's all go home." Or the potential for us to give half a shit this was even happening, day after drawn-out day, even under the threat of mistrial.

Pellicano is indeed going home — like "federal prison" home, up to 10 years' worth, we hear. He'd be 74 when he got out, with a few years left to enjoy the fruits of keeping his mouth shut: A couple well-scrubbed dollars trickling in now and then from grateful clients to whom he's anything but the footnote the rest of us will know. At the end of the day — especially today — we struggle to care but somehow wish there was more, as if it was all just about to get good.

Alas, the end is as good as it gets, when we can at last peel away the "alleged" and say yeah, the fucker did it. Finally. And good riddance.

[Photo Credit: LAT]

Majored In Balance, Minored In Agility [To Do]

Mark Graham — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:55:00 PDT

While most of you would probably get fired if you were caught drinking on the job, over here at Defamer HQ, it's virtually a pre-requisite! In order to set the right mood for you to watch the Molly McAleer hosted Defamer To Do's for Thursday, May 15th, we need you to follow these four steps:
1) Quickly scope the area around your cube to make sure your boss isn't around — we wouldn't want you to get fired!
2) Pop open that bottle of Two Buck Chuck that we know you've been hiding in the bottom drawer of your desk
3) Pour yourself a tall, refreshing glass of Cab Sav
4) Click play and enjoy!

· The Little Ones and Army Navy are at the Troubador.
· The Little Ones Afterparty at Beauty Bar.
· Mario Lopez Fitness Workout at Barnes and Noble at the Grove.
· The Birthday Boys at UCB.

Harris, Do Whatever You Want. I'm Kind Of On Autopilot These Days. [A Call To The Bullpen]

Douglas Reinhardt — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:40:00 PDT

boomp3.com

American auteur Woody Allen avoided a lengthy on-set discussion with his D.P. Harris Savides on Tuesday afternoon. Allen just explained to Savides that he could do with whatever he wants with the lighting and framing because, as Allen bluntly put it, he's been on autopilot ever since Deconstructing Harry. According to sources on the scene, Allen said, "It's pretty much the same movie. Well, the same two movies. It's either Crimes & Misdemeanors or young girl/old guy relationship picture. I think this one is an old guy/young woman one, but at this point, I'm not even sure anymore. So, you know, go nuts with the cool lenses and film stock stuff." Then Allen added that he has no confidence in the Knicks' recent hiring of Mike D'Antoni as head coach.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

Who Will Play Role Of Jessica Simpson's Boyfriend In Papa Joe's Sequel To 'Pimp My Daughter'? [Win A Date With My Daughter]

Molly Friedman — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:20:00 PDT

At this point in Jessica Simpson’s sad, sad career, it’s become clear that her only chance of making headlines is by sleeping with a new guy, getting dumped by that new guy, or whining over one of the many guys who’ve dumped and/or slept with her. As we learned this week, her most recent conquest — QB Tony Romo, who Jessica called “her future husband” in Glamour’s March issue before admitting that “this article could come out and Tony and I could be broken up” — rid himself of the Game Day Curse just as her ex-fling John Mayer was popping up all over the weeklies swapping spit with Jennifer Aniston and her fembot nips. Naturally, Jessica reacted by drinking herself silly and, we presume, making several late-night calls to her Dadager, Papa Joe, requesting her next romantic PR stunt stat. So the question is: which lucky bachelors will Joe ~~pay off~~ set her up with this time to guarantee continuous coverage of his darling daughter? Our suggestions, after the jump.

Chase Crawford: Very worthy choice. Couple those gay rumors with his preference for blonde beards from the South, and it's a magic match in PR heaven.
Owen Wilson: Also a wise decision, though Joe would break the bank nabbing the Stallion. Also a blonde fan, Wilson is currently on the lookout for a Kate Hudson replacement and, if Jess is lucky, Wilson will relapse weeks into their depressing union, ensuring her distressed mug appears in the press for weeks.

Pete Wentz: Easy access, for sure. Both incestuous and sensational, Joe could always find a baby from whichever celebrity adoption agency delivered Suri Cruise to TomKat, and claim Pete is the father to not one, but both of his toothy princesses.
Sam Ronson: Sam is always available for the part of wingwoman, and the fits Lindsay would cause in the press would go on for months.

[Photo credits: Getty, Wireimage]

JESSICA SIMPSON AND TONY ROMO THROW IN THE TOWEL [NYDN]

Werner Herzog, David Lynch's 'Random Dealmaking' Quotas Filled For '08 [Strictly Business]

STV — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:00:00 PDT

It was cute way back yesterday when we heard that Werner Herzog and Nicolas Cage are remaking Bad Lieutenant for a new generation of prurient cinephile wonks, but the novelty of Herzog's random-ass pairings requires a certain period of recharging to retain maximum effect. Which is perhaps why the potency of his other forthcoming, newly announced collaboration with David Lynch (!) on "a horror-tinged murder drama" doesn't have us positively reeling with anticipation.

But the Lynch/Alejandro Jodorowsky film? With Asia Argento, Marilyn Manson and reportedly "enough sex and violence to guarantee an NC-17 rating"? Fine, Hollywood Reporter, we're listening:

Herzog and his longtime assistant director Herbert Golder co-wrote [My Son, My Son], loosely based on the true story of a San Diego man who acts out a Sophocles play in his mind and kills his mother with a sword. The low-budget feature will flash back and forth from the murder scene to the disturbed man's story. A guerrilla-style digital video shoot on Coronado Island is tentatively set for March. ...

In a separate development, Lynch's Absurda production company has attached Asia Argento and Udo Kier to star with Nick Nolte in Alejandro Jodorowsky's metaphysical gangster movie King Shot. Marilyn Manson is touted to appear as a prophet in the Sin City-style film.

Having essentially gone DIY since his own unwatchable digital epic Inland Empire, Lynch will executive produce both films and handle their sales at Cannes, hitting the Croisette with his cow and selling Herzog impersonations to foreign buyers for $100 apiece. We hear Herzog, meanwhile, had to be forcibly removed from the Kung Fu Panda press conference after pitching a Grizzly Man remake to Jack Black.

Directors team for 'My Son' [THR]

New J.J. Abrams Series 'Fringe' Billed By Fox As 'Felicity With Smoke-People' [Trade Roundup]

Seth — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:35:00 PDT

· Fox's fall schedule announcement introduces only two new shows: a comedy called Do Not Disturb (formerly The Inn), and J.J. Abrams's new series Fringe, which will air Tuesdays at 9 after House. Details on Fringe are being kept under close wraps, but based upon a slew of promotional images over at TV Week, we think it revolves around a conspiracy discovered by a quality control technician at a menthol cigarette factory, played by Joshua Jackson. Joss Whedon's Dollhouse, meanwhile, and new animated shows Sit Down, Shut Up and The Cleveland Show won't air until mid-season. Executed: Back to You, Canterbury's Law, K-Ville, Nashville, New Amsterdam, The Next Great American Band, The Return of Jezebel James and Unhitched. [Variety]
· Daniel Day-Lewis may be taking over the role vacated by Javier Bardem in Rob Marshall's movie on the musical Nine. Bla bla milkshake jazz-hands bla bla. [Variety]

· Jason Reitman's next movie will be an adaptation of Walter Kirn's Up in the Air, about a frequent-flyer-mile-accrual-addicted HR worker. [Variety]
· Michael Fassbender, whom you might recall as the guy with a bunch of arrows sticking out of his kickin' abs in 300, will play the role of Heathcliff in John Maybury's Wuthering Heights adaptation. Bet you're sorry for dropping out of the project now, Natalie Portman! What's that? You're perfectly happy with your penis-nosed musician boyfriend? OK, never mind. [THR]
· In an attempt at beefing up their interactive arm, CBS paid $1.8 billion in cash for CNET Networks. Explained Les Moonves, "As we've made the case so many times before, there's no profit to be made online, so we thought we'd dump two billion cash into this doomed, money-losing venture just for shits and giggles." [Variety]

Bill Murray's 'Stupid Country Bumpkin' Look Doesn't Impress Greta Scacchi [Nice Guys Finish First]

Molly Friedman — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:10:00 PDT

We’ve had a thing for Bill Murray since the first time we saw clips of his pity-me-but-look-at-me skits on SNL right up until his sad lonely guy role in Lost In Translation, when his gray hair and inability to smile deflated our crush ever so slightly. But unlike actress Greta Scacchi, who blabbed to a London paper about the night he innocently asked for her number and was harshly rejected by her and the too-cool group of Eurotrashy friends she rolls with, we’d never resort to the level of cattiness the Italian quasi-star did today:

”He was wearing his stupid farmer's boots, a lumberjack shirt and looking like the country bumpkin from the Midwest that he really always was. And he left, shaking his head, and I never had to see him again.”

How the two came together in the first place, and what might have scared the poor guy away, after the jump:

According to Scacchi, who you may remember only for her many nude roles in The Red Violin and Heat And Dust (and, obvs, her role as the Ice Queen that tantalized Griffin Mill in The Player), she met Murray at a casting meeting for an undisclosed film in which the two are apparently slated to play each other's love interest. And Scacchi claims Murray openly requested her phone number to prove to the rest of the crew that their on-screen heat would be realistic should they play it out off-screen as well. See Hollywood Ethics 101 for why this is perfectly reasonable. In any case, Murray agreed to meet Greta at her apartment where Greta had invited "an eclectic collection of friends...cooking, playing music, dancing, all completely stoned. He just sat on a sofa, out of his depth." Frankly, we don't care how sexy Scacchi used to look, but we're on Team Murray: that scene is far too 70s for our taste, and we'd leave those faux bohos in the pot-scented dust just like he did.

[Photo Credits: Getty Images]

BILL MURRAY IN TOO DEEP AT GRETA SCACCHI'S [London Telegraph]

A Return To Grazerheads [Homecomings]

Seth — Thu, 15 May 2008 14:40:00 PDT

According to a press release in the Defamer inbox, Hollywood superproducing entity and non-recovering idea-addict Brian Grazer will be the recipient of the Mary Pickford Foundation Award at the USC School of Cinematic Arts 2008 graduation tomorrow—an honorarium presented by Disney head Bob Iger, and awarded to "men and women of USC who have made an indelible impact on the entertainment industry." This is obviously exciting news indeed, and we encourage any proud parents in attendance to send along video of the mogul-rich milestone. But were that all, for what lifted this publicist-penned correspondence beyond the realm of the commencement-speech-announcement mundane was a file attachment, accompanied by eight little words that shot a volt of pure ecstasy through our spine: "Have also attached a photo for your use." Oh. My. God. Are they kidding us? Just this once: Grazerhead has come home.

The entire press release is after the jump.

OSCAR WINNING PRODUCER BRIAN GRAZER TO RECEIVE USC PICKFORD AWARD
Disney CEO Robert A. Iger Co-Speaker at May 16 Ceremony

MAY 12, 2008, LOS ANGELES - Brian Grazer, Oscar-, Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning film and television producer and co-founder of Imagine Entertainment, will receive the Mary Pickford Foundation Award at the USC School of Cinematic Arts 2008 commencement ceremony, at which Robert A. Iger, president and CEO of the Walt Disney Company, will serve as co-speaker, Dean Elizabeth M. Daley announced today.

Iger, who will earlier in the day receive an honorary doctorate and appear as the featured speaker at USC's commencement ceremony, will share industry observations with the cinema class. Additionally Iger will present Grazer with the School of Cinematic Arts's Pickford Award, presented to men and women of USC who have made an indelible impact on the entertainment industry. Grazer, a 1974 USC alumnus, will provide his own unique insights gained while producing projects for the big and small screens for nearly 30 years.

States Daley: "Brian has been an indisputable leader in the entertainment community, and a staunch supporter of the School of Cinematic Arts for many years. We are thrilled to honor him with the Pickford Award and to send our latest class off with the wisdom that both he and Bob will impart."

Among the notable films Grazer has produced are Splash, Apollo 13, Backdraft, 8 Mile, Parenthood, The Da Vinci Code, Liar Liar and Cinderella Man. In 2002, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences awarded him and long-time producing partner, Ron Howard, the Best Picture Oscar for A Beautiful Mind. Grazer's television credits include 24, Arrested Development, SportsNight, Felicity and the Emmy-award winning mini-series From the Earth to the Moon.

Iger and Grazer will address the May 16 commencement ceremony, which takes place at the Shrine Auditorium. Grazer is the 14th recipient of the Pickford Award, which is conferred in association with the Mary Pickford Foundation. Past recipients include: Ray Harryhausen, William Fraker, Conrad L. Hall, Alan Ladd, Jr., Michelle Manning, Walter Murch, Jay Roach, Gary Rydstrom, Stacey Sher, John Singleton, David L. Wolper, Laura Ziskin and Robert Zemeckis.

Back Up! Back Up! This Lady Could Explode! [A Call To The Bullpen]

Douglas Reinhardt — Thu, 15 May 2008 14:10:00 PDT

boomp3.com

Jack Black acted as a bodyguard to his Kung Fun Panda co-star Angelina Jolie at the Cannes Film Festival. Black warned the press corps to keep their distance from the "any moment now" Jolie and, if they were to get any closer, Black would have to bust out some serious karate moves. He then added that Dustin Hoffman would join in on the karate action, too. Black said, "You're not going to like me when I'm cheesed off, but you're totally going to hate the Hoffeweizen when he's cheesed off."

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Emmanuelle Chirqui's Topless Photo Shoot Lures LAPD's 'Areola' Squad [Areola Squad]

Molly Friedman — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:50:00 PDT

Though celebrities dropping trou for the glossies has proven both controversial in Miley Cyrus’ case, and “artsy” in Lindsay Lohan’s, both of these spreads were intelligently shot behind closed doors. But when GQ decided to photograph Entourage’s Emmanuelle Chirqui fully exposing her curves in the bright light of day, controversy didn't come by way of conservative media pundits. It arrived in the form of the LAPD’s official nudity-watch squad, who interrupted the shoot to ~~get a closer look~~ make sure all was okay on set. As Chirqui recalls, one pervy fed stepped in as art director and instructed the crew "Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?" See what all the fuss was about for yourself after the jump:

As we can see, Chirqui was (not so) innocently trying to garner some press for her upcoming Adam Sandler-as-Israeli hair guru movie You Don't Mess With The Zohan by posing in various soft-core poses like the standard "I See You But You Can't See My Tits!" and "My Boobs Don't Fit In This Jacket Mr. Manager!" But the porky Malibu vice were concerned for the safety of all neighborhood residents, and reportedly "came by just to make sure things remained tasteful." While they'd probably be more useful checking in on the taste levels inside Britney Spears' and Lindsay Lohan's various drug and sex-laden abodes in the area, we suppose we'll give them the benefit of the doubt and believe their story, rather than dwell in fear that discrete tit-watch cameras lie on every street corner, sounding the alarm whenever a starlet is seen exposing a potentially dangerous amount of flesh.

[Photo credits: men.style.com]

COPS SWOOP IN ON TOPLESS 'ZOHAN' SIREN [AOL Movie News]

Fantasia 2: The Fantasianing [Fear]

Seth — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:25:00 PDT

On last night's splendiferous, Sayesha-ejecting American Idol results show—like nasty walnut chunks in maple ice cream, she was utterly ruining our pure, David-savoring experience—third season Idol winner Fantasia Barrino stopped by the Karoakedome to perform. And yet "perform" seems not quite the sufficient term in this instance—rather, she seemed literally belched from some fiery, subterranean afterworld miles beneath CBS Television City, accompanied by a chorus of winged backup-demons. The audience—many of whom were still enjoying the pleasant, torpor-inducing effects of David Archuleta singing about "fishes in the ocean"—reacted as though they had just been smacked against the side of the head with a hooker's club foot.

Anarchy soon broke out in the relative peace-loving community of the arm-swaying pit, as all attempts at enacting their primary, limb-waving duties were rendered instantly futile by the tuneless, arrhythmic morass. It wasn't long before severed limbs were spotted flying into the bleachers; the sight of several freshly gimped Pepperdine sorority girls running screaming for the exits was the last home viewers glimpsed of the carnage before stage manager Debbie frantically waved towards the control booth to cut to commercial.

americanidol.com

BREAKING: Anthony Pellicano Convicted of Racketeering and Conspiracy [Pellicano Notebook]

STV — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:05:00 PDT

In perhaps the most anticlimactic ruling in the history of celebrity jurisprudence, disgraced Private Eye to the Stars and all-around not-nice guy Anthony Pellicano was this afternoon convicted of racketeering and conspiracy in federal court. The LA Times is reporting that additional verdicts are forthcoming for wiretapping; for the convictions so far, Pellicano faces up 10 years in prison. Though we think we can safely bet our homes on the remaining counts, we'll have something a little more official later on as word becomes available.

Pellicano found guilty of racketeering and conspiracy [LAT]

Today in Cannes Hell: 'Blindness' Still Bad, 'Indy 4' Making Few Friends and Egregious Oscar Hype [Cannes Film Festival]

STV — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:00:00 PDT

The pandas have been euthanized and Sean Penn is still lighting up despite you on the first full day of the Cannes Film Festival, which we continue to study from our vantage point in the salt mines. We continue to wince at the reaction to the opening-night film Blindness, whose bad buzz we were nervous about back when the festival waited forever to announce its selection. Variety's Justin Chang piled on this morning — "Blindness emerges onscreen both overdressed and undermotivated, scrupulously hitting the novel's beats yet barely approximating, so to speak, its vision" — with an only slightly happier James Rocchi following suit at Cinematical.

Then there's the anticipation for Indiana Jones and Whatever the Fuck, whose anxious makers are taking precautions to dodge the lynch-mob on their own tail:

Paramount, producer George Lucas and director Steven Spielberg have made some changes in their game plan to avoid the Da Vinci scenario. For one thing, they're not having a big party. ...

In contrast, Indy's producers have skedded a "filmmakers party" for 250 people — no press invited. There will be the usual press conference following the screening; the only TV and print junket interviews with the cast are scheduled the day before the screening, instead of afterward; access to Spielberg outside the press conference is strictly interdit.

We didn't want to go to your stupid party anyway; we're too busy joining Pete Hammond in handicapping the Oscar chances of this year's higher-profile fest selections. Actually, we're doing no such thing, and we wish Hammond wouldn't either, but there it is: Jury chair Penn might help shepherd his ex-director Clint Eastwood's Changeling to the Palme d'Or! Che is a front-runner, except it's not finished! Kung Fu Panda is an animated film contender! Only 10 more days of this; thanks for nothing, LA Times.

Elsewhere, Anne Thompson is making the rounds in smoke-filled rooms, and Jeffrey Wells was on the scene at a panel during which David Poland — via Skype! — apparently predicted the end of The Hollywood Reporter within three years. So, you know, don't renew your subscription.

I Know It Sounds So Corny, But I'm Really Happy Since I Switched To Geico [A Call To The Bullpen]

Douglas Reinhardt — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:40:00 PDT

boomp3.com

Blindness star Julianne Moore was all smiles at the film's premiere after party at the Cannes Film Festival. It wasn't because of the film, though; rather, her broad smile was the result of cracking up the paparazzi with her "switching to Geico" joke. Moore confessed that it wasn't the greatest of jokes, but she wanted to show people that she had a fun side. Moore said, "I'm either playing a concerned mother or a concerned wife or just somebody whose going through a shitty time. I can be fun, too. You know, I could mix it up with Dane Cook and crack everybody up."

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Here we go again: Nikki Finke is reporting ... [Nailed]

STV — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:20:00 PDT

Here we go again: Nikki Finke is reporting that production on David O. Russell's Nailed has shut down once more as IATSE brass pulled members off the set over "payroll irregularities." "Friday was supposed to be the deadline set for the crew to get paid since there was a promise of a loan being made by then," Finke writes. "But IATSE apparently lost its patience with all the smoke-and-mirror promises so today the union ordered its crew to walk off the production." No word yet from Capitol Films chief and noted yacht renter David Bergstein, who attributed SAG's earlier walk-off to dodgy bridge financing that he insisted had since been resolved. We hear that Russell, meanwhile, still smarting from Cookiegate and his previous work stoppage, is spending his day off calling around for quotes on jinx insurance. [DHD]

Early 'Sex And The City' Review Prepares You To Hunker Down For A Five-Episode Marathon [Meh And The City]

Seth — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:00:00 PDT

Variety has laid their eyes on what could be the most anticipated Sarah Jessica Parker film in history—that's right, Sex and The City: The Movie—and printed their review. [This would be a good time for anyone who wants nothing spoiled and/or rained upon to slide their fingers in their ears, stare up at the ceiling, and start humming the opening notes of its theme. "Da-DA-dada...da-DA-da! I can't hear you!"] Verdict: They're just not that into it. Highlights follow after the jump.

· "For a series so steeped in romance, the eagerly awaited "Sex and the City" movie feels a trifle half-hearted."
· "...writer-director Michael Patrick King doesn't fully bridge the gap between TV and film — delivering major story flourishes but, too often, playing like a regular episode bloated to five times its customary length."
· "...one theme explores the boundaries of forgiveness — a touch ironic for a romantic comedy that commits the near-irredeemable sin of stretching to nearly 2 ½ hours."
· "...even a glossed-up version of Manhattan is a hard place to go home again."

Sex and the City: Review [Variety]

The Chosen Two's Due Date Outed By Dustin Hoffman, Expected Nationality Outed By Angelina Herself [The Chosen Two]

Molly Friedman — Thu, 15 May 2008 11:40:00 PDT

As we noted yesterday, Jack Black took the liberty of announcing that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expecting twins during a pre-taped interview on The Today Show, which we all got to see for ourselves this morning. One would think Black’s blooper would ruffle Jolie’s feathers, but as this clip shows, Jolie handled the situation with breezy laughter and an amicable Oh Well! shrug. And as it turns out, Black wasn’t the only Kung Fu Panda co-star to fill everyone in on The Chosen Two’s glorious impending arrival. Once again for no apparent reason, fading funny man Dustin Hoffman decided to reveal the twins’ due date during the same segment. When Brangelina is expecting and which nationality Jolie has selected for her next soccer team members, after the jump.

As Natalie Morales' best week ever continues, the (also expecting) Today Show correspondent revealed yet another tidbit: Hoffman decided to let her (and, by extension, the entire world) know that the twins are due on August 19th. As Lost fans, we should probably go ahead and find out what secrets hide behind the numbers 8, 1, 9, and 19, but we don't have enough time (or shame) at the moment. With her privacy sufficiently invaded, Jolie let her guard down during a press conference in Cannes after a reporter asked where she planned on giving birth: "I actually haven't completely decided...We are certainly thinking of France." Which means she can finally check off another country on her International Soccer Team Nationality Map! Sadly for Sweden, Jolie isn't feeling the Scandinavian love right now: "Asked by a Swedish reporter if she'd consider giving birth in Sweden, Jolie responded, 'Not at this time... But, you never know, there's more babies.'" More babies? Where are "more babies" hiding and what bizarre names do they have? More importantly, do they attack The Chosen One with utensils like the rest of the team?

ANGELINA'S TWINS ARE DUE AUG. 19 [People]
ANGELINA JOLIE ALLUDES TO GIVING BIRTH IN FRANCE [Us]
THE TODAY SHOW [MSNBC]

'Clingy' Jennifer Aniston And 'Bored' John Mayer Take 'Romance' To New York [Tears And Jeers]

Molly Friedman — Thu, 15 May 2008 11:20:00 PDT

Whatever’s going on between Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer has thus far had all the standard Summer Fling ingredients: making out in pools, sunset dinners, word that psychopathic ex-girlfriends are drowning in tears and booze, and so on. But last night, the cougar and cad took their lovey dovey tour to New York, doing the double date thing at celebrity haunts and hiding out in cloudy cigar bars, leading onlookers to believe the new Demi and Ashton are having more than just fun in the sun. However, reports that John is “bored” already, combined with Jennifer’s alleged “clingy” and starstruck groupie behavior at one of his gigs have us worried that Aniston will be yet another tear-soaked ex on the crooner’s widdled down bed post...

Before arriving in New York, Mayer played two gigs down in Florida, both times giving plenty of O-Faces while covering other people's songs. In Miami, while singing a Pat Benatar number, Aniston reportedly "leapt onstage and sang along." And then in Orlando, Mayer borrowed a Tom Petty classic after the over-excited Aniston spent her time "taking pictures of him during the show and sending him back onstage with a big kiss." Way to play hard to get, Jen! We fear the inevitable night in which he wheezes out some Melissa Etheridge tune and really sets GLAAD ambassador Aniston's lesbian-loving heart aflame.

[Photo credits: Splash]

We Do! [Gays]

Seth — Thu, 15 May 2008 11:00:00 PDT

DING-DONG! DONG-DING! The rainbow-colored smoke has emerged from the chimney atop the California Supreme Court. The Court bells, each recently adorned with a giant portrait of Dave Beckham and Posh Spice, are sounding. For it's official! Same-sex couples in our glorious, seaside state have the right to be wed! We know you have questions, so we went directly to the Defamer special correspondent on Legal Fine Print Accompanying Totally Fabulous Rulings to answer all your burning questions:
Defamer: So what does this mean?

Correspondent: Gay men and women, as of 30 minutes ago, may now get married in california, with NO restrictions.
Defamer: When might that change?
Correspondent: If the Supreme Court of the United States overturns this.
Defamer: What are the chances of that happening?
Correspondent: This is unlikely to happen as it's a state issue, i.e., there's nothing in the state or U.S. constitution prohibiting gay marriage, so you'd have to get an amendment to one of those. That will in most likelihood not happen. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to ratify an amendment.
Defamer: Yay! Will you marry us?
Correspondent: No.
Defamer: Sad face.
Correspondent: But you can marry anyone you like now—man, or woman.
Defamer: Happy face!

California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban [LAT]

Anne Heche's Ex-Husband Needs You To Give Her A Job [Defamer Employment]

Seth — Thu, 15 May 2008 10:40:00 PDT

As we touched upon briefly on our way out the door last night, actress Anne Heche, whose ugly divorce and custody battle last year aired out all manner of crazy-scented laundry, was back in court to argue that since the cancellation of her ABC series Men In Trees (hey Heche fans: where's the nut-delivery campaign for that one?), she no longer had the financial means to make the $15,000-a-month in emasculatory alimony payments to ex-husband, Coley Lafoon. People.com reports:

"I am continuing to look for work, but I have no offers pending and the impending strike by the Screen Actors Guild reduces my prospects for work even further," Heche, 38, writes in court papers. [...]

In a court declaration, Heche indicated her financial straits were dire and that she can no longer afford to pay the $14,798 in monthly support, along with private school tuition for her 6-year-old son Homer, the mortgage on her house in Canada where Men In Trees filmed, rent on her Los Angeles home and car expenses.

She further testifies that she has been unemployed except for "one very short-term contract for a movie role," for which she was paid $65,000, or "approximately the amount I received for one episode of Men In Trees," and that her business manager recently informed her that she has "a total of $34,840.93 in all of my accounts as of May 13, 2008." All this was compelling enough evidence for the judge to grant Heche a pass on her next month's installment. Next, Heche's lawyers may actually take the unusual strategy of arguing the financial-insanity defense, pointing as evidence to the actress's utterly insane decision to invest in the Canadian real estate market while employed on an iffy-fated series at best, as the U.S. dollar swirled 'round the shitter. It's unlikely to sway the courts, but still, all hope is not lost: With the overturning by the California Supreme Court of the gay marriage ban just minutes ago, sexuality free-agent Heche can get reacquainted with her Sapphic side, and make an honest woman out of the newly single and extremely financially stable Jodie Foster!

Anne Heche: I Can't Afford Child Support [People]
Anne Heche Crazy Broke [TMZ]

Original Hollywood Power Flack Warren Cowan Dead at 87 [Rip]

STV — Thu, 15 May 2008 10:15:00 PDT

It's almost impossible to conceive of a publicist earning a legend these days for much beyond sexuality crisis management or the degree to which s/he lies to Page Six. All the more reason to miss Warren Cowan, one of Hollywood's original Power Flacks who passed away Wednesday at the age of 87. After founding his seminal firm Rogers & Cowan with his mentor Henry C. Rogers in 1950, Cowan went on to make his name as the press agent for everyone from Frank Sinatra to Elizabeth Taylor to Paul Newman to Audrey Hepburn to Ronald Reagan. He never fully retired, either, selling R&C in 1988 and later launching another influential firm, Warren Cowan and Associates, which further capitalized on his earlier revolutions in Oscar campaigning.

Cowan was born and raised in New York, where he was a classmate and — according to a blog remembrance today — the "best friend" of eventual Hollywood columnist Army Archerd:

The friendship in the biz was unmatched by anyone else on either side of the press publicity fence. His honesty and perseverance helped make the profession an honored one. He gave birth to the multitude of publicity firms, which sprung from his offices. He leaves a legacy for his profession and for the business, and I will miss his cheery voice and his good stories.

He's not the only one. RIP, good sir.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

Warren Cowan dies at 87 [Variety]

Fear & Loathing In The South Of France [A Call To The Bullpen]

Douglas Reinhardt — Thu, 15 May 2008 09:55:00 PDT

boomp3.com

Before the mescaline kicked in, Brad Pitt did his best "Dr. Gonzo" impression as he raced Angelina Jolie through the streets of Cannes in a desperate attempt to get her to her Today Show interview on time. While driving to the festival, Pitt constantly referred to everyone and everything on the sides of the roads as bats. Jolie quickly corrected him and said that they weren't bats, but French people. Pitt smiled and said, "Babe, you're too much of a freak to live, but too rare to die. Now, watch out for dirty, dirty, dirty hippies!"

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

Rumored Britney Spears Sex Tape Features Climactic Cameo By Her Old Friend, The Pink Wig [Hot Or Not]

Molly Friedman — Thu, 15 May 2008 09:30:00 PDT

Most sex tape rumors involving Britney Spears are either too good to be true (Colin Farrell!) or too gross to convince us to want to see them at all (K. Fed). But the latest story from the tabloids is filled with details so plausible (especially considering the then-manic Package's mental state) that we’re not so sure it’s just another fairy tale. As the National Enquirer is reporting (again, don’t judge a supermarket tab’s creds by its cheap cover):

[Adnan Ghalib] is shopping around a sex tape that was filmed during their trip January trip to Mexico...[the tape] will go down as the highest selling porn tape of all time, out selling even Paris Hilton's.

So what could Britney possibly do in the bedroom to top her fellow Bimbo Summit member’s green-eyed appearance in nightmare-vision? The eerily realistic details after the jump.

As a source who claims to have seen the tape tells the tab, "the video starts with Britney undressing...She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there. The sex wasn't particularly kinky but Britney wears a pink wig throughout." Well, the image of Britney in that pink wig she favored during her American Tragedy days doesn't do much to entice us, but we do find it highly believable that sex with Spears just wouldn't be all that "kinky." We've seen her manhandle props like umbrellas before and it was neither graceful nor hot. But the kicker comes after Spears allegedly performs a striptease for Adnan, removing all her clothes save for the technicolor bob: "Adnan tells her to take it off at one point and she says coyly, 'Take what off? There's nothing left to take off.'" And thank goodness for that. However horrific Paris appeared as a nocturnal sex nymph in her tape, nothing puts the sails down like bald sex.

IS ADNAN SHOPPING A BRITNEY SPEARS SEX TAPE? [Splash News]