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The Heat Force A Game Seven By Playing Fucking Ridiculously

Samer Kalaf — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 05:04:00 GMT

It looked over. The jokes and criticisms were already being generated about LeBron James and the Heat as they found themselves down five with 28 seconds to go.

The narrative had seemed written just a few plays earlier; down 10 at the beginning of the fourth quarter, the headband-less James and his team rallied back to take an 89-86 lead with 1:47 to go. Tony Parker had to go and fuck it all up, hitting a deep tying three and then another shot to take the lead after Mario Chalmers turned over the ball. After a couple intentional fouls, the San Antonio Spurs looked like they had sealed up the title.

Then, some ridiculous shit happened. How else do you describe it? James made a three-pointer, and the game had some life in it. After Kawhi Leonard missed one of his free throws, the Heat had a life preserver to grab on to.

Miami took advantage, although not gracefully. James took another three; it didn't go. But Chris Bosh was in the right place, grabbing it and giving his team just one more try. Bosh immediately dished it to an open Ray Allen backing up behind the arc, not fully set, but sinking it like he has so many times before. The Heat had five more minutes to save their season.

In overtime, with the Spurs up 100-97, Allen cut the lead to one. James put the Heat up by one with 1:43 left, and San Antonio wouldn't score again. Manu Ginobili's last-second shot (seen above) was a turnover or foul, depending on who you ask. Either way, it Allen sunk his free throws, and a Game Seven was necessary.

Let's go back to Bosh though, the butt of so many jokes. He came up with two vital plays in Miami's comeback. Bosh grabbed the offensive board to allow Ray Allen to tie the game at 95 and send it to overtime. Then, with 31.3 seconds left in overtime, he blocked Tony Parker's shot to prevent the Spurs from taking the lead. For good measure, he absolutely stuffed Danny Green's last-chance three-pointer, sending Green into the bench of his now-gloomy teammates.

Speaking of the unbelievable trey-maker, Green was a resident of clank city tonight, shooting an awful 1-of-7, his only points being a three. Bosh had said Green "won't be open tonight" before the game, and Bosh didn't lie.

All of this overshadows what a night Tim Duncan had. Zach Harper of CBS Sports pointed out that ten years ago, when Duncan was in an NBA Finals closeout game, he posted a line of 21 points, 20 rebounds, 10 assists and eight blocks. Tonight, a 10-years-older Duncan logged 30 points on 21 shots and 17 rebounds. It was a great stat line, but Duncan scored 25 in the first two quarters. What happened in the second half?

How do you follow up one of the craziest games in NBA Finals history? It is a Game Seven, for a start.

Now the Heat fans are trying to come back after learning their team is playing in overtime.

Samer Kalaf — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 04:08:00 GMT

Now the Heat fans are trying to come back after learning their team is playing in overtime.

Heat fans beating the traffic while their team is down two points.

Samer Kalaf — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 03:58:09 GMT

Heat fans beating the traffic while their team is down two points.

Doc Rivers Isn't Going To The Clippers. Now What?

Samer Kalaf — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 02:55:00 GMT

Those Celtics-Clippers trade talks involving Doc Rivers, Kevin Garnett, DeAndre Jordan and others look to be dead. This is routine for the players involved, but it's uncommon ground for a coach. Are Rivers and the team on awkward terms?

President of basketball operations Danny Ainge and Rivers plan to meet tomorrow and figure that part out—Ainge is adamant that he wants Rivers there—but it really shouldn't be seen as that outrageous if Rivers stays after being so close to darting with one of the team's leaders. It's not the first time Rivers has considered abruptly leaving the team.

Consider how the team achieved that dominant 2007-12 run. Garnett and Ray Allen, two parts of the Big Three, came into Boston during the later parts of their careers via trades. This era of Celtics teams eschewed building around multiple young players in favor of getting excellent now. Yes, Rondo developed into one of the best point guards in the NBA, and it probably helped that there wasn't any pressure to fast-track his development, since the majority of points were courtesy of the older guys.

After losing to the Lakers in seven games two seasons after their accomplished championship, it became a "one more year" mindset. The days were always numbered. Rivers knew that, and the younger players had to have known. If Rivers comes back, it seems doubtful that hurt feelings will be one of the prominent team concerns.

It's trite to say, "It's a business," but it is. Chances are the fans would be more furious than the actual players if Rivers committed to a return. Maybe Rivers and the Celtics do part ways. That's also fine. As long as the replacement isn't Vinny Del Negro.

Photo: Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Female Sprinting Star Suspended For Failed Drug Test

Samer Kalaf — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 02:30:00 GMT

Jamaica's Veronica Campbell-Brown, winner of the 2004 and 2008 Olympics women's 200m and reigning world champion, reportedly failed a drug test after testing positive for a banned diuretic used as a masking agent.

After Campbell-Brown voluntarily withdrew from competition, her manager stated that she denied using any substances to give her an unfair advantage.

The case will be reviewed by a disciplinary panel.

[Daily Mail]

Photo: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

At halftime, Tim Duncan has 25 points, more than Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh combined.

Samer Kalaf — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 02:26:27 GMT

At halftime, Tim Duncan has 25 points, more than Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Chris Bosh combined.

Tuesday Night Fights: UFC Fans Brawlin' At Buffalo Wild Wings

Brian Hickey — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 02:00:00 GMT

Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Huge Brawl at Buffalo Wild Wings." Tonight's commentator: A response from corporate. (Coming next week: A high-point in street-fight cinematography history.)

Lacking the ability to track down UFC fans who go to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch sporting events, BWW corporate was the next best option.

They were quick to initially respond to an inquiry as to whether, as advertised, "A bouncer was collecting a fee for a UFC fight. This group of people was reluctant to pay and the bouncer said 'wow that's cheap.' They got in an altercation at the front desk area."

As to the specifics, spokesman Dave Hakensen says, "We’ve been trying to learn more today. We have both corporate and franchise restaurants, so it takes some time to find out about isolated incidents like this. Hoping I can learn more tonight."

Perhaps some things are better left unexplained.

And now, the rest of the Tuesday Night Fights:

• This feels more than a flashback than a well-produced street-fight video, but with awesome commentary. (Start of Violence, instantly)

• From TNF tipster Stanistuta, "This occurred during TT week on the Isle of Man. Which is a world famous, historic and much-loved event here (there is even a movie about it called Closer to the Edge). It brings tourists from all over the world and usually tends to coincide with some unusally fantastic weather and general frivolity for locals and visitors alike. Unfortunately it can also inspire excessive bouts of daytime drinking which occasionally leads to incidents like this. Enjoy." (SoV, 0:41)

• Bros here were NOT supposed to wrestle. And observer bros were NOT supposed to get in that filmer lady's way. But they did. The all of em did, if only for a moment. (SoV, instantly)

• The Amateur French Futbol Tear-Gassy Brawl Live Look-In:

• Showdown on Begole St. Flint, Mich. Represent — for about 45 seconds. (SoV, 0:45)

• Prostitution whore. (SoV, instantly)

• They know why the caged ladybird fights. (SoV, 1:28)

• The Old People And Kinda Old People Street-Brawlin' Intermission:

• Russian street fight. Russian face kick. Russian defeat. Russian victory. Technicolor. (SoV, instantly)

• Down in the ATL, a coupla ladies work out their difference through violence. (SoV, instantly)

• Let this Nairobi street fight serve as proof positive that you never allow a foe to stay on his feet longer than he should. Had this man knocked that boy out sooner, he wouldn't have gotten dropped himself. But no. He thought it'd be cute to toy with said foe. As such, he gets what he deserved. (SoV, 0:02)

• The "Facebook Fight" Intermezzo (with catchy refrain):

• From America's birthplace, "North Philly Knockouts" that is only one knockout, and there really isn't a knockout at all (SoV, instantly). And this one's purporting to be from Cherry Hill which is close to Philly and all so I'm'a use it here (SoV, instantly). However, there haven't been many fights of note/substance in the Ill of late. Maybe that means we've turned a corner. Or maybe, we've just shifted our interest to posting 'Twerkin at 3am in Philly!' videos instead (Start of Twerkin', instantly). Bonus coverage: Wait, wait, wait, last minute addition. Two-part "North Philly Chicks Rumble!" (Pt. 1, Pt. 2). Bonuser coverage: Well-dressed men street-battlin' in Van Nuys on Philly TV! (SoV, 0:14).

• TNF Beijing Correspondent Anthony Tao sends word of middle-school brawls (SoV, instantly) and the po-po doing some roughing up of the people (S0V, 3:47).

• DAGESTAN STRONG. (SoV, 0:37)

• Street-Fightin' Men Interlude:

• Parking lot bro-battle. But only one really seems to have his heart in it. (SoV, 0:11)

• D'Vaughn vs. Manny. Who ya got? (SoV, 0:17)

• Others: "Two men fight over a woman." "Elevator brawl." "Fight." "Dub Kay Girl Fight Part One."

• BROS, YOU BROS GET OUTTA HERE, BROS Coda:

Kawhi Leonard Insults And Injures Mike Miller At The Same Damn Time

Samer Kalaf — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 01:37:00 GMT

San Antonio Spur Kawhi Leonard elevated on Mike Miller and inadvertently(?) smacked him in the face as he threw it down. Womp.

'Merica, Fuck Yeah!

Timothy Burke — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 01:22:44 GMT

Upton Brothers Collide In Outfield, But No One's Hurt, So It's Funny

Samer Kalaf — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:52:03 GMT

B.J. Upton definitely called for this routine fly ball first, but Justin Upton either didn't hear him or didn't care.

After the two Uptons collide and comically topple over, Justin acts like nothing's wrong. Oh, those Upton brothers!

Watch these R.A.

Samer Kalaf — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:41:38 GMT

Watch these R.A. Dickey knuckleballs go crazy. Wheee! [@DShep25]

Deadspin Up All Night: You, Me, And A Lie

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:16:08 GMT

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Big basketball game tonight. We'll be here for it.

Kevin Youkilis has to have back surgery, and Mark Teixeira is back on the disabled list because of h

Dom Cosentino — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:53:00 GMT

Kevin Youkilis has to have back surgery, and Mark Teixeira is back on the disabled list because of his right wrist. The Yankees are officially an HMO.

Deadspin Serena Williams On Steubenville: "I'm Not Blaming The Girl But ..." | io9 Did the Higgs bos

Lauren Bertolini on lauren ☄, shared by Barry Petchesky to Deadspin — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:31:12 GMT

Deadspin Serena Williams On Steubenville: "I'm Not Blaming The Girl But ..." | io9 Did the Higgs boson discovery reveal that the universe is unnatural? | Jalopnik Has Red Bull Figured Out How To Cheat F1's Traction Control Ban? | Lifehacker How to Deal with Six of the Most Awkward Money Moments

Aaron Hernandez Questioned By Police In Homicide Investigation

Tom Ley — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:23:04 GMT

According to multiple reports, Boston police have questioned Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez as part of an investigation into the possible homicide of a 27-year-old Boston man, and may be interested in searching Hernandez's home.

A source tells Sports Illustrated that Hernandez is not believed to be a suspect, but that a car that was rented in his name has become a piece of evidence:

Hernandez is not believed to be a murder suspect, according to a source, but a vehicle rented in his name has emerged as a key piece of evidence in the investigation. The Sun Chronicle of Attleboro, Mass., reported on Tuesday that police identified a rented 2013 Chevrolet Suburban with Rhode Island license plates in connection with the possible homicide. According to the paper, the vehicle is registered to Enterprise and investigators were hoping to analyze it for fingerprints. A source said Hernandez's name is tied to that rental vehicle.

ABC describes the victim as an "associate" of Hernandez, and elaborates on the nature Hernandez's interactions with the cops as well as the rental car's connection to the possible crime:

Hernandez has been uncooperative with police since the body of a 27-year-old man was found in an industrial park not far from the Patriot player's North Attleboro home, two law enforcement sources told ABC News.

A rental vehicle with Rhode Island plates was recovered near the scene, which led investigators to Hernandez, sources told ABC News.

The Sun Chronicle first reported the death of the 27-year-old Boston man. His body was found by a jogger in a North Attleboro, Mass., industrial park on Monday night.

[SI | ABC | Sun Chronicle]

There is "Embrace Debate," and there is "Embrace Debate And Let Your Hands Roam Southward Until They

Tommy Craggs — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:58:00 GMT

There is "Embrace Debate," and there is "Embrace Debate And Let Your Hands Roam Southward Until They Envelop Debate's Buttocks, Kneading Them Roughly, Spanking Them At Irregular Intervals, Stopping Only To Insert Your Entire Fist Into Debate's Anus." This is not the former.

The MLB Rulebook Makes No Sense And You Will Fail This Quiz On It

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:39:14 GMT

Yet another reason we love Jayson Stark with all our hearts: Today, he tackles the labyrinthine MLB rulebook, and gives a 10-question quiz to players, coaches, and media members. They didn't do so hot.

Parts of it are over 150 years old. It's 125 pages, 50,000 words, and much of it concerns hypothetical situations that an umpire will never, ever have to deal with. But they're in there, just in case. Stark, with the help of "baseball rules expert" Rich Marazzi, took 10 unlikely situations, and turned them into true/false questions.

Twenty players took the quiz, and averaged a 5.5. Five coaches averaged a 6.6. And seven writers averaged a 4.4. (Remember, it's true/false. By guessing you should be able to get a five.) Only one test-taker—D-Backs reliever Brad Ziegler—got a perfect score. ESPN's Aaron Boone somehow scored a one.

The quiz is here. Take it, and report back with your score.

[ESPN.com]

Hey athletes, why don't you smile anymore?

Tom Ley — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:37:24 GMT

Hey athletes, why don't you smile anymore? You are totally bumming us out, man. [Slate]

Pixar Inches Back On Track: Monsters University, Reviewed.

Tim Grierson — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:25:00 GMT

Monsters University isn't amazing. Yet it is bright, shiny, amusing, and charming, and after the disappointing Cars 2 and Brave, it's a relief to leave a Pixar movie feeling properly entertained. It wasn't always that way; the animation studio once delivered gems on a consistent basis. But Pixar spoiled us, conditioning audiences to expect greatness every time. That greatness has lately been in short supply, and even Monsters University is more of a consistent pleasure than a real achievement. But it'll do.

Pixar has made a few sequels, but Monsters University is their first prequel, showing us how Monsters, Inc. pals Mike (voiced by Billy Crystal) and Sulley (John Goodman) first became friends in college. Since we need an actual story, they don't start off that way. Attending Monsters University's prestigious scare program—which will hopefully open the door to jobs at the Monsters, Inc. facility—the bookish, nerdy Mike instantly dislikes the lazy Sulley, who plans to coast on his family's scaring legacy rather than buckle down and study. Quickly kicked out of the program for somewhat convoluted reasons—again, so that we have a story—Mike and Sulley find themselves reluctantly having to team up with a bunch of loser outcasts to compete in the Scare Games against the university's super-cool monster fraternities and sororities. If Mike and Sulley's team wins, they'll be let back into the program; otherwise, they'll be forced to leave Monsters University.

Except for the tension between Mike and Sulley, who will learn how great they work together, Monsters University is sort of an animated version of The Internship: Two rejects join forces with uncool geeks to try to beat all the popular kids in a high-stakes competition. And while it's definitely better than that movie, Monsters University goes about its business in a pretty predictable way. It's not just the fact that the film pulls out the creaky old "big contest" plotline but that each round of the contest brings with it the prerequisite stages in Mike and Sulley's relationship development. (First round, they don't see eye-to-eye at all. Second round, they get a little closer. Third round, they're becoming friends somewhat. Fourth round, they have a falling-out...)

To be sure, that kind of competition narrative has a pleasing familiarity as well—you can just sit back and let director Dan Scanlon and his creative team do their work—and the movie is filled with jokes. (Of all of Pixar's films, Monsters, Inc. might be the studio's most purely funny movie. Gags, one-liners, and Crystal's Borscht Belt shtick are the emphasis. That's not to say that the movie didn't have a lot of heart, too, but Monsters, Inc. is the adorable, drooling puppy of the Pixar canon: It's sappy and cute, and it just wants you to love it no matter how dopey it can be.) Monsters University may not be quite the joke machine that its predecessor was, but the rat-a-tat delivery is the same. And the laughs come from everywhere, whether it's poking fun at college-movie conventions or mining the humor of the bizarre losers who have attached themselves to Mike and Sulley. (The hippie-ish Art, voiced by Charlie Day, may get the single best laugh in the movie based on a seemingly throwaway line that, if this was a live-action film, you'd swear was improvised on the set.)

With all the gags and zingers flying around, what you don't get enough of is a really strong emotional connection to Mike and Sulley. And that's a shame because Monsters University starts off with some potentially potent material. In a flashback to Mike's grade-school days, we see him as a sweet little dweeb who has a life-altering experience visiting Monsters, Inc. on a school trip, deciding that this is what he wants to do when he grows up—even though everybody around him agrees he's not scary enough to frighten the sleeping children of the human world. Monsters University means to be a story about how hardworking, untalented Mike clashes with the naturally frightening but undisciplined Sulley, and there's definitely some affecting moments between them. But the film tends to be more about its series of elaborate scare competitions than it is about these two guys' shifting dynamic. That's not a deal-breaker: The film is so consistently likable and pretty that you won't mind that much. But you'll notice. Pixar trained us to expect a little magic. Nowadays, we're just grateful when one of their films is good enough.

Grade: B-.

Grierson & Leitch is a regular column about the movies. Follow us on Twitter, @griersonleitch.

Steve Gleason on the apologies from the three Atlanta DJs fired for joking about his ALS: "Received

Dom Cosentino — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:00:00 GMT

Steve Gleason on the apologies from the three Atlanta DJs fired for joking about his ALS: "Received and accepted. We have all made mistakes in this life. How we learn from our mistakes is the measure of who we are." [Facebook]

Vine Was Created So Figurines Of MLB's 1990 Award Winners Could Dance

Dom Cosentino — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:49:00 GMT

They're not good dancers. (Click the image to start the party.) But that's not the point.

[@alexscordelis]

Serena Williams On Steubenville: "I'm Not Blaming The Girl But ..."

John Koblin — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:37:00 GMT

Serena Williams is letting the press back into her life, big time. If you're unfamiliar, this is the "Serena comes out of her shell" part of the Serena dialectic, which is only a few pungent quotes from a full retreat and the "Why won't Serena let herself be loved?" stage.

The latest entry is a Rolling Stone profile, which comes on the heels of John Jeremiah Sullivan's Times Magazine cover story last August and a new documentary on Serena's tennis life with her big sis. The RS story is by Stephen Rodrick, author of the new book The Magical Stranger and this great Dennis Rodman profile that you can read at The Stacks. He visited Serena in Florida three months ago, and she gave him, well, a few pungent quotes.

Here, for instance, is Serena with an unfortunate "she wore the dress" take on Steubenville:

We watch the news for a while, and the infamous Steubenville rape case flashes on the TV—two high school football players raped a 16-year-old, while other students watched and texted details of the crime. Serena just shakes her head. "Do you think it was fair, what they got? They did something stupid, but I don't know. I'm not blaming the girl, but if you're a 16-year-old and you're drunk like that, your parents should teach you: don't take drinks from other people. She's 16, why was she that drunk where she doesn't remember? It could have been much worse. She's lucky. Obviously I don't know, maybe she wasn't a virgin, but she shouldn't have put herself in that position, unless they slipped her something, then that's different."

While on the phone with Venus, Serena didn't do much to conceal some bad-mouthing of a fellow WTAer:

"There are people who live, breathe and dress tennis. I mean seriously, give it a rest." Serena exits the car and the conversation moves on to a Top Five player who is now in love. "She begins every interview with 'I'm so happy. I'm so lucky'—it's so boring," says Serena in a loud voice. "She's still not going to be invited to the cool parties. And hey, if she wants to be with the guy with a black heart, go for it."

Rodrick takes an "educated guess" that it's Maria Sharapova since her boyfriend is Grigor Dimitrov, an ex of Serena's (unless, for some reason, Serena thinks that Redfoo has a black heart, which maybe we can't disagree with).

And Serena says what we long knew about her relationship with Sloane Stephens, and we hope this puts an end to it all:

I don't know where all that mentor stuff came from. I am definitely not that girl's mentor.

We'll let you know when Rolling Stone puts it online. Wimbledon begins next week.

UPDATE, 6:40 p.m.: Here's the full piece.

Photo: Getty

That Insane New Falcons Stadium Is Really Going To Happen

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:25:00 GMT

From a pair of ideas floated in April, the Falcons have chosen the official conceptual design for their new stadium, set to begin construction next year. It features an eight-piece roof that will twist closed—essentially an iris diaphragm. We hereby nominate, for a nickname, "The Sphincter."

The design, from 360 Architecture, received the necessary approval from the Georgia World Congress Center Authority today. The project now moves into the schematic design phase, the part where lovely renderings become sanded down to cold functionality by the realities of cost and load-bearing. But they do seem truly set on the petaled roof—360 principal Bill Johnson calls it "primarily an open building that closes instead of a closed building that opens."

The next step is to choose a site for the stadium—the preferred one is just south of the Georgia Dome, but two churches must be acquired before work can start. The city and state are currently in negotiations to buy the land, and if all goes smoothly, ground will be broken in early 2014. The city will pay for $200 million of the construction, and "potentially several times that" to maintain and operate the stadium through 2050.

Some more updated designs, via the Falcons:

ESPN Loses Its Mind: What Howie Schwab Meant To Bristol

Tommy Craggs — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:35:00 GMT

Information was sacred to Howie Schwab, the longtime researcher and producer who was laid off by ESPN on Wednesday. "Not knowledge," as the critic Lee Siegel once clarified. "Information." Siegel was writing about Stump the Schwab, the game show that made Schwab an unlikely half-celebrity, but it'll work here as an epitaph for Schwab's career at ESPN. His 26 years in Bristol were spent in service of information, dedicated to the idea of sports as discrete packets of unprocessed data, to be sorted and stored and perhaps later retrieved, or maybe jotted down on a card and hurried over to the SportsCenter desk, where an anchor always knew Schwab was coming by the jangling of coins in his pocket.

Information was sacred, Schwab felt, even in a place where information was also a commodity, something to be packaged and sold.

You meet a lot of people like Howie Schwab if you spend any time at ESPN. They are the gray matter there, the residue of the network's outrageous growth in the 1990s, which was principally an explosion of information. Here's Mike Freeman, writing in ESPN: The Uncensored History about the changes wrought by John Walsh after he arrived in Bristol in 1988:

Walsh also boosted the research department, which had consisted of one man, the tireless Howie Schwab, who suddenly had a dozen companions. Walsh hired additional producers and reporters, increasing the number of reporters on the scene instead of just picking up feeds and bolstering ESPN's stable of specific sport experts, almost all of them print reporters. … He felt fans could not get enough statistics and inside information about the major sports, so he proposed creating extensive separate shows for each of the sports.

That was the ESPN I grew up watching, the network that made a fetish of knowing stuff, and that was, in a way, the ESPN of Howie Schwab.

He was a researcher first, signing on as a freelancer in 1987, but he became a sort of roving brain-for-hire within ESPN, the guy behind the camera who fed statistics to the people in front of it, and then, in 2004, he became one of those people, too. I never really watched Stump the Schwab, but I loved that it was on TV at all. If the animating principle of First Take is that compelling television happens only when people profess to know less than they actually do, it was Stump the Schwab's conceit that there is virtue in knowing more than you have any business knowing. It was a show for the sort of people who grew up reading the agate page—the same sort of dedicated anal-retentives who wind up on the research desk at ESPN, quibbling with editors over loose details or tying up the lines all day at the Elias Sports Bureau or hauling an apposite stat out of the depths of an old almanac, as indispensable to the news operation as they are, on occasion, insufferable. With Stump the Schwab, it was as if ESPN had turned itself inside out. The office noodge was the star.

Schwab was the guy ESPN put on red-carpet duty during the ESPYs, simply because he knew everyone, and knew everything about everyone, even the X-Gamers. He was Dick Vitale's amanuensis, and probably more. One source told us Schwab wrote everything for Vitale. He'd take notes for him. Dickie V. would fall asleep while watching games and wake up with Schwab at his side. "Howie," he'd say, according to our source, "what did I miss?"

I heard a story about Schwab last week that tells you a lot about Schwab and a lot more about the company that let him go. (I didn't hear this from Schwab, for the record. He refused to talk to us.) This happened in 2002. Mark Shapiro was ESPN's senior vice president for programming at the time, and Schwab was handling the BottomLine, ESPN's news ticker, another product of the network's fat mid-1990s. On this particular day, Schwab was watching TV at home and saw a mention of the Australian Open final run across the BottomLine—16th-seeded Thomas Johansson vs. ninth-seeded Marat Safin—only someone had removed the seeds from next to the names.

It turned out that a directive had come down from Mark Shapiro's office, on the belief that a 16-vs.-9 final wasn't exactly appointment television; why mention the seeds at all? Schwab complained, according to our source, and eventually he and Shapiro had it out.

Schwab thought it was inaccurate. Information is sacred, after all.

Shapiro supposedly hung up on him. Information is a commodity, too.

Last week, the noodge was deemed expendable, another casualty of the ongoing corporate violence being committed at ESPN in the name of efficiency. On Monday, Schwab had attended a National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association banquet in Salisbury, N.C., where his friend Dick Vitale was being inducted into the organization's hall of fame. Schwab was sharing a table with the ESPN brass that was there, George Bodenheimer and Steve Anderson, one or both of whom had to have known the ax was swinging above Schwab's neck. "What a birthday gift for Dickie V," Schwab tweeted. "He turns 74 and goes into the Sportscasters Hall of Fame. He belongs in the human being Hall of Fame!" On Tuesday, he got an email saying he had a meeting the next day. On Wednesday, he was laid off. He wrote on his Facebook page:

After 26 years at ESPN, I am extremely disappointed to say farewell. I have been proud of my association and my work during my tenure. I was a loyal employee, displayed respect for others, worked with numerous charities, represented the company well. I always did everything asked of me and more. What did I get in return today … word that I should get lost. The only thing that mattered was my salary, which in my view was the lone reason I lost my job.

Not long ago, I did a stint in ESPN The Magazine's research department. The most Howie-like guy I knew there was the deputy research chief, Roger Jackson, a man given at any moment to filibustering the office on, say, the relative merits of Pac-12 sports information departments. (A friend remembers listening to Roger rank them all.) New factcheckers, trying to impress, would sometimes test themselves against him, challenging Roger on a detail or a recollection, and I would wince over in my cubicle, feeling the pedantry coming on like some sort of weather pattern.

Roger could be impossible. He was impossible. But there is something basically ennobling about the role of the office noodge at a place like ESPN. The best thing in the world is to know stuff, the noodge says—anything at all, and all for the sake of merely knowing it. Mastery is the point. On Thursday, I found out that Roger had been laid off, too.

Image by Jim Cooke

Zdeno Chara Wiped Out And Crashed Into Milan Lucic During Warmups

Dom Cosentino — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:10:00 GMT

The Bruins' defensemen have been mostly mistake-free in these playoffs. But Boston hasn't been perfect. At one point last night, the NBC Sports Network found a rather obvious flaw.

Updated with a gif:

Chara did need to get stitches in the back of his head as a result of the wipeout. The Oilers' Taylor Hall (rightly) took issue with the idea that this was the "most dangerous warmup ever":

I disagree “@FriedgeHNIC: Healy says Chara needed stitches in back of head after pre-game collision with Lucic. Most dangerous warmup ever.”
— Taylor Hall (@hallsy04) June 18, 2013

[Busted Coverage]