http://cache-foo-01.gawkerassets.com/gawker/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/deadspin.com.png http://deadspin.com http://deadspin.com This is an XML content feed. It is intended to be viewed in a newsreader or syndicated to another site, subject to copyright and fair use. http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/2CuVfKj67fQ/put-away-your-calculators-joe-mauer-is-mvp http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5411110&view=rss&microfeed=true Indignant nerds everywhere have been ordered to stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this...http://deadspin.com/5411110/put-away-your-calculators-joe-mauer-is-mvp http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/ubkbqArINvw/thug-life-marv-albert-says-theres-no-beef-with-50-cent http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5411082&view=rss&microfeed=true What sounded like one of the most bizarre fights since Axl Rose attacked karate-chopping fashion mogul Tommy Hilfiger, longtime NBA announcer Marv Albert told the Dan Patrick show that he "never...http://deadspin.com/5411082/thug-life-marv-albert-says-theres-no-beef-with-50-cent http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/2sU0IkrAewI/all-steeler-fans-are-basically-puppy-murderers http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5411012&view=rss&microfeed=true A Pittsburgh area man is in jail this morning after he kicked a 13-week-old pit bull to death because it wouldn't walk next to him and he had a Steeler game to watch. Obviously, Troy Polamalu hates...http://deadspin.com/5411012/all-steeler-fans-are-basically-puppy-murderers http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/nha8Y4-2TQg/jay-mariotti-isthe-lurker http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410972&view=rss&microfeed=true The bar patron who has the cell phone pic which (allegedly) sparked Mariotti getting bounced from a Chicago nightclub last Thursday night has yet to surface, but another reader stealthily snapped him...http://deadspin.com/5410972/jay-mariotti-isthe-lurker http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/9JfC-N9hJm8/high-schooler-celebrates-meaningless-block-with-trip-to-the-gun-show http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410901&view=rss&microfeed=true This ridiculous Tecmo Bowl punt return is okay, but I'm really posting this for the goofball who blindsides a tackler, then flexes for his buddies while the play is still happening behind him. It's...http://deadspin.com/5410901/high-schooler-celebrates-meaningless-block-with-trip-to-the-gun-show http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/4qObJDzM-tc/matthew-stafford-wins-the-weekend http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410796&view=rss&microfeed=true In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Matthew Stafford, who won the weekend by suddenly turning into Bobby Layne, minus the crippling hangovers. It was...http://deadspin.com/5410796/matthew-stafford-wins-the-weekend http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/FNRAxOZbbaw/tv-guide-writers-captivated-by-any-ex+dukie-matchup-update http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410831&view=rss&microfeed=true What was the most compelling storyline of this weekend's Orlando-Boston showdown? The heated rivalry between J.J. Redick and Shelden Williams that dates to the time Williams stole Redick's juice box...http://deadspin.com/5410831/tv-guide-writers-captivated-by-any-ex+dukie-matchup-update http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/lVvH0HmWdb8/full-moon-over-chicago http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410554&view=rss&microfeed=true Considering the flood of emails, you people are all about Devin Hester's ass. I'm not here to judge, so we present it in all its glory after the jump. http://deadspin.com/5410554/full-moon-over-chicago http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/V772rbMrM1s/in-which-we-try-to-work-up-excitement-over-the-mls-cup http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410405&view=rss&microfeed=true Do you, dear readers, care about tonight's championship showdown between the LA Galaxy and Real Salt Lake? Perhaps a better question is, did you even know this was tonight? It's tough to deny MLS...http://deadspin.com/5410405/in-which-we-try-to-work-up-excitement-over-the-mls-cup http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/nTRAogCIBO4/gilbert-arenas-makes-a-mockery-of-twitter http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410391&view=rss&microfeed=true Agent Zero refuses to start Twittering until he has a million followers. Uh, Gil, that's not how you do it. Actually, you know what? Twitter's stupid and everyone on it is stupid and this will...http://deadspin.com/5410391/gilbert-arenas-makes-a-mockery-of-twitter http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/7UN7P0qwRS4/ http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410368&view=rss&microfeed=true There's a popular game going around the Internet, in which you search your favorite team on DeviantArt, the premier fan-created art site. Some results are pathetic, some are decent, but most are...http://deadspin.com/5410368/the-seedy-underbelly-of-sports-fan-art/gallery/ http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/uhw2sCXdDM4/the-bcs-has-its-day-in-court-of-public-opinion http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410387&view=rss&microfeed=true The BCS hired a new PR firm, and their first move was to create an official BCS Twitter. This is one case where interacting with the fans is a bad idea, and they are being torn apart. It's gruesome....http://deadspin.com/5410387/the-bcs-has-its-day-in-court-of-public-opinion http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/GO8vOk8kslE/these-men-are-the-best-qbs-of-the-day-really http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410374&view=rss&microfeed=true I'm sure the fact that they were facing the Lions and Browns defenses had nothing to do with their spectacular numbers. But some quality defenses had tough afternoons as well. •Chiefs 27, Steelers...http://deadspin.com/5410374/these-men-are-the-best-qbs-of-the-day-really http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/ynWl37LOLEU/your-late-games-open-thread http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410325&view=rss&microfeed=true The Jets got an early morning wakeup call in their New England hotel, apparently a common occurrence for teams preparing to play the Patriots. No word yet if Mark Sanchez got the required amount of...http://deadspin.com/5410325/your-late-games-open-thread http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/k0xMiisk9zA/break-irelands-heart-again-in-crappy-flash-form http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410310&view=rss&microfeed=true Finally, it's the Thierry Henry Handball game. My high score so far is 47 goals, and 18 Irishmen drinking themselves to death. [Jeu De Main]http://deadspin.com/5410310/break-irelands-heart-again-in-crappy-flash-form http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/UwQAaZT6fvI/mike-and-the-mad-bong http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410304&view=rss&microfeed=true "John From Wayne" interrupts his surely-educated opinion on the Yankees' left field situation to take a yooge, yooge rip from his water pipe.http://deadspin.com/5410304/mike-and-the-mad-bong http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/iZxDJm-7fH0/hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-league-two-side-fan-scorned http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410247&view=rss&microfeed=true A Grimsby Town FC supporter unleashes a foulmouthed rant of epic proportions at his hapless team. Brits have long said American sports fans lack passion, but now I just think they all have...http://deadspin.com/5410247/hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-league-two-side-fan-scorned http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/Zw3y5PjX_Oo/university-with-weight-requirements-probably-has-terrible-offensive-line http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410297&view=rss&microfeed=true A Pennsylvania college has made BMI as important as GPA when it comes to graduating, and some soon-to-be degree-less fatties are raising a stink. At Lincoln University, physical health is on par...http://deadspin.com/5410297/university-with-weight-requirements-probably-has-terrible-offensive-line http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/NQl8aein2UE/is-les-miles-lying-or-just-stupid http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410323&view=rss&microfeed=true "I don't know who called for the spike" is the new "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."http://deadspin.com/5410323/is-les-miles-lying-or-just-stupid http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/Pr7AocJN5cI/your-early-games-open-thread http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410265&view=rss&microfeed=true Some decent matchups today in Baltimore, New York and Green Bay. Please note the incredible accuracy of the TV distribution map, which correctly notes that Jacksonville won't be getting the Jaguars...http://deadspin.com/5410265/your-early-games-open-thread http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/F36N05PjqQM/ricky-williams-+-battier-than-you-realized http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410257&view=rss&microfeed=true Williams credits his success and durability this season to a new type of alternative medicine. No, he doesn't mean weed, as we're all assuming. Ricky's "pranic healing" regimen is far stranger....http://deadspin.com/5410257/ricky-williams-+-battier-than-you-realized http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/Mc6lnmVyDac/clevelands-economy-is-based-on-lebron-james http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410251&view=rss&microfeed=true Cleveland has rejected a proposed 10-story mural of LeBron, because the Nike logo would constitute advertising. Instead, they'll keep the current 10-story mural of LeBron with a Nike logo. [Plain...http://deadspin.com/5410251/clevelands-economy-is-based-on-lebron-james http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/vZWwm66SqSw/nate-robinson-getting-his-terrible-teams-mixed-up http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410233&view=rss&microfeed=true As if the 85-point lead the YES Network spotted them wasn't enough, the Nets also received help from an unlikely source: Nate Robinson shooting at the wrong basket. (I only say "unlikely" because the...http://deadspin.com/5410233/nate-robinson-getting-his-terrible-teams-mixed-up http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/Qm-cJxTfRSI/telestrator-dong-an-analysis http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410219&view=rss&microfeed=true Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap. What's with you people and crudely drawn, superimposed penii on your football...http://deadspin.com/5410219/telestrator-dong-an-analysis http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/HNtlHA7fV3I/yeah-im-sure-it-probably-feels-like-this-for-knicks-fans http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410058&view=rss&microfeed=true If it's not bad enough just to be a Knicks fan, the graphics department at YES Network are taking potshots at them. Seeing this probably caused Stephon Marbury to snap out of his delusional state....http://deadspin.com/5410058/yeah-im-sure-it-probably-feels-like-this-for-knicks-fans http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/kXnW_sg4qhk/chad-ochocinco-doesnt-want-you-catching-any-venereal-diseases http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410030&view=rss&microfeed=true Somewhat making good on a threat he made during the filming of HBO's Hard Knocks, Chad Ochocinco posted a mockup of what a package of Ocho Cinco Condoms might look like. Are they made out of pigskin?...http://deadspin.com/5410030/chad-ochocinco-doesnt-want-you-catching-any-venereal-diseases http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/JCJVIEjMw4Y/canadian-dads-are-sick-of-how-much-their-hockey+playing-daughters-stink http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410047&view=rss&microfeed=true Canadian fathers, already emasculated by their daughters being better hockey players than they ever were, have directed their misplaced aggression at the noxious fumes emanating from their little...http://deadspin.com/5410047/canadian-dads-are-sick-of-how-much-their-hockey+playing-daughters-stink http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/2uclpwwBwVk/the-fruit-of-chris-cris-collinsworths-loins-is-a-pretty-good-football-player http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410022&view=rss&microfeed=true Austin Collinsworth, son of Bengals great/awkward commentator Cris Collinsworth, has won the Paul Hornung Award, given to the top high school football player in Kentucky. The question is, how is...http://deadspin.com/5410022/the-fruit-of-chris-cris-collinsworths-loins-is-a-pretty-good-football-player http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/WmvB5xDyV1E/japanese-gaming-cards-with-photoshopped-nba-players-are-disrespectful-to-frowns http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5410003&view=rss&microfeed=true Can you see that I am serious? Really, I have no idea what the hell is going on here or how to explain it - all I know is that these photoshops are hilarious. From what I can decipher, there is some...http://deadspin.com/5410003/japanese-gaming-cards-with-photoshopped-nba-players-are-disrespectful-to-frowns http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/JEY5EZf7WdQ/your-late-afternoon-college-football-viewing-open-thread http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409991&view=rss&microfeed=true Shazam! Actually, "lame" is a good way to describe today's slate of football games. Do you know what might make these games at least tolerable? Booze - lots of it. Drink Like A Champion Today! (taps...http://deadspin.com/5409991/your-late-afternoon-college-football-viewing-open-thread http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/_juXS0EDi9M/this-is-exactly-why-only-goons-should-be-allowed-to-fight http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409987&view=rss&microfeed=true Sweet sassy molassey was this an ugly fight. Flyers center Danny Briere makes it abundantly clear why he has only been credited with two fights during his career with yesterday's atrocious "brawl"...http://deadspin.com/5409987/this-is-exactly-why-only-goons-should-be-allowed-to-fight http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/KQd6Wogh_RI/clippers-broadcasters-suspended-for-mispronouncing-iranian http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409964&view=rss&microfeed=true Play-by-play man Ralph Lawler and analyst Mike Smith have been suspended for one game for calling Grizzlies center Hamed Haddadi an "EYE-ranian." The Iron Sheik would probably like to take these guys...http://deadspin.com/5409964/clippers-broadcasters-suspended-for-mispronouncing-iranian http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/P5ewHe0P_fg/sports-fella-suspended-over-angry-tweets-not-allowed-to-watch-tv-talk-on-phone-for-two-weeks http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409944&view=rss&microfeed=true Bill Simmons was suspended for letting his 1, 010, 999 Twitter followers know how he feels about about certain WEEI talk show hosts, but he's still able to talk about his book tour. Rob King,...http://deadspin.com/5409944/sports-fella-suspended-over-angry-tweets-not-allowed-to-watch-tv-talk-on-phone-for-two-weeks http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/89fGLTCAi2U/early-game-open-thread-this-rivalry-has-gotten-cuddly http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409918&view=rss&microfeed=true Today Michigan and OSU do their annual dance of the overcrowded football stadiums with yawning interest outside of I-75. Blame Rich-Rod. The Duke Benterns battle the Artist Formerly Known As Katrinas...http://deadspin.com/5409918/early-game-open-thread-this-rivalry-has-gotten-cuddly http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/xvx6wlNOyvI/brave-woman-gingerly-explains-how-mark-cuban-checked-her-out-one-night-in-vegas http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409906&view=rss&microfeed=true Always a great way to start a blog entry: "I was reluctant to write this blog because Mark Cuban does in fact have a family with kids and a lovely wife..."[The Flight Of My Life]http://deadspin.com/5409906/brave-woman-gingerly-explains-how-mark-cuban-checked-her-out-one-night-in-vegas http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/XOyue1r2XpY/faces-in-the-crowd-brought-to-you-by-valtrex http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409897&view=rss&microfeed=true Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you...http://deadspin.com/5409897/faces-in-the-crowd-brought-to-you-by-valtrex http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/jh1yB3OaP38/chuck-klosterman-american-polymath-napkin http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409611&view=rss&microfeed=true Chuck Klosterman plugs his Dinosaur book by doing an interview with the good people at American Polymath blog. Okay, truth be told, this interview gave me a reason to commission another napkin...http://deadspin.com/5409611/chuck-klosterman-american-polymath-napkin http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/0xYIWNOcIew/blame-drew-asu-baseball-coach-pat-murphy-resigns http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409590&view=rss&microfeed=true Pat Murphy announced his resignation today, thus freeing up some time to roam the earth, seek out Drew and beat him like a redheaded stepchild, if he were the sort of man to do such a thing. [ASU Sun...http://deadspin.com/5409590/blame-drew-asu-baseball-coach-pat-murphy-resigns http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/hOwy9uZxGpw/the-one-with-jay-mariotti-napping http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409532&view=rss&microfeed=true We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack...http://deadspin.com/5409532/the-one-with-jay-mariotti-napping http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/deadspin/excerpts/~3/fssXRyjH_Hc/shattered-town-observes-anniversary-of-drunken-metrodome-coitus-by-slamming-doors-in-reporters-face http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5409488&view=rss&microfeed=true Carroll, Iowa, is the home of Lois Feldman, the woman who famously had a crapulent fling in the stall of a Metrodome bathroom. Carroll is also the home of many people who'd rather not talk about Lois...http://deadspin.com/5409488/shattered-town-observes-anniversary-of-drunken-metrodome-coitus-by-slamming-doors-in-reporters-face